I cant describe how SORRY i am for leaving you all so long! i promise it will never happen again. i just had a scare with some mental problems involving a razor blade and a lot of depression but thanks to AdrenalineMotivation on i have picked myself back up. thank you so so much Jakeykins, this chapter and whole story is dedicated to you because Edward is going to help Alice much like Jake did me. xx luv ya Jakeykins.
I don't own anything but some OC's and a bit of the plot, S Meyer owns the rest.
Warning: sexual and physical abuse is mentioned and may be shown in this story in a flashback or dream, bad language and a supposed mental illness are in this story as well as a lemon or two later on. Read at your own caution.
Lot's of angst.
EdwardxAlice.
There will be shifters in this story, though not the wolves so go away if you don't like it.
Demolition Lovers- My Chemical Romance. I chose this song because it describes Edward's feelings perfectly, he'd die with Alice.
Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running
But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
Until the end, until this pool of blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of...
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
But this time, we'll show them
We'll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every...
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
[x4]
As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms
Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun
And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever
By the time it was Lunch Alice was ready to both scream and cry. She just wished people wouldn't ask her questions she couldn't ask, it just made her even more of a freak as impossible as that sounds. Over and over the same damn questions.
What's Phoenix like?
Want to sit with me?
Why don't you talk?
Blah blah blah, it just melded into one big line of babble that sounded like Japanese. She felt a forboding sense come onto her as she followed Bella to the cafeteria. The vampires would be there, she realized with a painful jolt. She felt sick.
Alice watched her sister talk to a bubbly girl who was joined by a blonde boy with baby blue eyes which flickered to her for a second before back to Bella. She only got a water and looked around finally. Hoping with everything in her that they were not there yet.
Her prayers were answered as she saw the room was void of monsters, just chattering teenagers that made her head spin, the loud laughter and talking of the kids in the room could be compared to screaming Alice thought wryly. Having heard real screaming, for hours, even days on end made her sensitive to loud noises, it usually triggered one memory or another which is why she shoved her hand inside her bag and fished out her IPOD, her little piece of heaven.
It wasn't often that she got peace, her definition was a song of choice with lots of bass and meaningful lyrics paired with skilful guitar notes. She turned on her Anthrax playlist and let her eyes scan the room again, this time looking for a seat.
There were two tables at the far end, she tilted her head and realized that the vampires would sit there. But at which table?
Why did life have to be so complicated? Why couldn't one thing work out for her? She made a quick decision that she didn't think about and went to sit on the left table. With her luck she would piss of some vampires.
The blue eyed girl twisted off the cap of her water bottle and took a large gulp, it felt good on her dry throat but she wanted to throw it back up as she was hit with a vision.
There was Alice, standing under her house porch, it was night time, the stars were out and it was a full moon. Alice studied her dress as it seemed to be the only part not fuzzy.
It was black and red themed. Strapless with black netting spilling from her chest area from the dress. There was a red sash with a splitting up her left thigh that let her see the red velvet underlay that was a little longer than the black material at the bottom. It was a rather gothic choice of dress and a little more revealing than she would have liked.
In her hands was a bouquet of fake flowers, black and red roses were wrapped in red velvet with a bow at the side. It seemed to complete the look, almost. It was her make-up that really completed her outfit.
Extra pale skin that was flawlessly made, nearly completely white lips with just a peeking of red. In her hair was a red Alice band that contrasted with the jet black of her hair. Thick eye liner than looked intentionally smudged was on her eyes with a pale red over her eyelids and up to her eyebrows, some of it on her bottom lid too.
It gave the perfect image of a beautiful corpse.
Standing centimetres from Alice in the vision was her worst nightmare. A Vampire. And not just any vampire, the bronze haired one, his eyes still golden were overflowing with an unknown emotion. She had never seen it before. He was in an all black suit, expensive material made up his outfit with pricey leather boots just above his ankles.
She watched in horror as he leaned down and captured her lips with his. His body pressed up against her as his arms wrapped around her waist, it made her sick.
She was violently pulled back to the land of here and now and felt sick to her stomach. She dropped her bottle of water with a jerky motion as the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. A painful prickling sensation erupted over her skin, such a familiar feeling that tears stung her eyes.
Her stomach churned and her head felt like it was on fire. Her heart was thumping erratically in her chest so hard she could feel it hit her ribcage. Her whole body screamed for her to run as fast as humanly possible, preferably in the exact opposite direction of the vampires.
Alice forced herself to swallow back the bile that rose in her throat and look up just a fraction, enough to see them. Her hands held the rim of the white table in front of her, she found a sick happiness in the fact that she had chosen the correct table.
She studied them in a terrified way, often looking back at her hands. They were a lot more inhuman up close.
Unnaturally still for the most part. All of their skin seemed to glow under the bright cafeteria lights. Their eyes were bright golden, flecks of black and a dark honey were sprinkled into them, she followed each of their gazes but the bronze haired ones eyes were glued to someone unblinkingly.
She followed it to the other side of the cafeteria, staring directly at the table where her sister was at. Alice looked back to him, his eyes hadn't moved and she doubted he had blinked, she was sure he was staring at Bella.
His face showed a large amount of shock before turning to disbelief. Alice studied the rest of the vampires.
The statuesque blonde was staring to the left, her face showing boredom and disinterest that she wasn't afraid to hide. She flipped her corn silk hair over her shoulder and turned to the big vampire.
He was listening to the blonde talk in a tone too low for Alice to hear, his arms were folded on the table before his untouched tray of food. He was unbelievably muscled, and tall at over six feet, he would tower over Alice.
It was safe to say Alice was terrified of him. She quickly shifter her blue eyes from him to the blonde male sitting next to him. He was watching the bronze haired one, staring intently like he was trying to burn a hole into him.
He was lean but still well muscled, his honey blonde tresses went to his chin. He had a strong jaw that he currently was clamping shut, his golden eyes were darker than the rest, more of a black tint to them. He was still as pale, dark circles under his eyes seeming to make that fact more prominent. The almost bruise like colour clashed with the perfect paper white of his skin.
As if sensing the eyes on him he turned his eyes from the other vampire to the silent girl, on instinct she looked down, just waiting for something. It never came but she felt compelled to look up again, going against everything in her she did so.
She was sure time stopped when she found him staring at her intently, shock written on his face. The younger Swans' breathing stopped, her hands holding the the table even harder, her bottle of water was long forgotten on the floor by her feet.
She felt like nothing else matter, nothing but him. It was a terrifying thought, right then, in that single moment he was the only thing she could see and he was pure perfection. What was going on?
Bright golden eyes that were flooded with emotions, possessiveness, affection, disbelief, fear. Anger. That was the one that struck her hardest, it stung painfully, maybe even more painful than the agony she went through everyday.
She couldn't stop herself from taking him in as she saw him in a completely different light, this time there were no imperfections, he was pure perfection. She felt sick as her eyes went over him again and again, unable to be satisfied until she had every single little detail about him locked in her memory forever.
He was as pale as the rest, his skin almost luminous underneath the bright lights of the cafeteria, dark circles were under his eyes as well, like he hadn't slept for weeks, she was sure he hadn't slept for more than a hundred years. Vampires didn't age afterall.
He was in simple dark-wash jeans and long sleeved t-shirt that hugged him in all the right places. He was tall, at least a foot taller than Alice, he wasn't as muscled as the big vampire but he was about the same as the blonde male vampire.
His hair was a dark bronze colour, styled to be messy but it suited him. Her eyes followed the movement of his long fingers raking through the locks of different shades, it all melted together to make him look even better.
Oh fuck.
Alice was definitely insane, she was sure. How could she even be having these thoughts about this man? Man? No, monster! She had to remind herself. Her whole world seemed to rely on him now, like a thousand steel cords were holding her to him.
It was hard to breathe, she had to be closer. She almost stood up and sprinted to him before the rational part of her mind screeched at her not to. She was being torn in half. Oh God, she had to be closer. She couldn't breathe, he was the only one left. The only one who could make it better and soothe everything in her.
Why was this world so cruel?
Alice already knew the answer, it just hated her. She forced herself to stay seated as those aforementioned steel cables wrapped around her chest, squeezing painfully. She was being ripped in half and suffocated all at the same time.
Was he doing this?
He had to be, why? It was like he wanted her to be closer to him, -the cables around her tugged in agreement- to stay by his side, why would he want that. She was worthless, ugly, unwanted. Why was he staring at her like that?
She hadn't blinked in almost three minutes and her eyes were watering, she couldn't bring herself to wipe at her eyes. Her vision was blurring anyway, lack of oxygenate probably. Why did she never want to leave him?
She didn't want to look away, she wanted to die with him. She wanted to die for him. What was wrong with her? She could endlessly see herself with him but she would never be good enough, he would never even entertain the thought of wanting her in any way. Why did that rip at what was left of her heart?
If she were to die then and there, she'd like to die for him. She would be happy with that, it seemed her only life purpose now was to make him happy, to make sure he was never in any pain be it emotional or physical. It was wrong.
His eyes held an emotion she had never seen directed at her. It was so messed up, in all her seventeen years of life she had never seen that simple look her way. Never seen it actually be true. Alice had seen it directed at others, she had heard the emotion voiced and acted out but never had it been for her.
The few times someone had even bothered to try and have that emotion with her it had been disgustingly faux. Why did it look like he meant it?
A shrill ringing filled everyone's ears, the vampires winced as they were pulled from their staring at the strange blue eyed girl. They had noticed the sheer terror on here face and the way she had not taken her eyes off of their brother, Edward, since he had looked at her.
"Dude, I knew you could charm the pants off of any lady but this is pushing it, you haven't even smiled at her yet!" said the big one, loud enough for Alice to hear. She watched as the bronze haired one tore his gaze from her to give the big vampire an annoyed glance, in the short seconds it took for that to happen Alice was sprinting out of the cafeteria.
"She was terrified and angry, like she knew..." said the blonde male, Jasper. Every Cullen turned to look at him. It was Edward thought who replied.
"It's because she does" this time all eyes were on him. They were all headed out of the cafeteria now, their steps silent.
"What do you mean she knows?" asked Emmett, the bulky vampire, for once serious.
"She knows were vampires," explained the mind reader in a tone too low for humans to hear.
"And why did we let her walk out of here alone exactly? She could tell anyone! If the Volturi -who will surely visit soon- find out they will blame us and kill us all!" hissed Rosalie, the beautiful blonde.
"Calm down babe." Emmett said carefully, his wife was pissed and that was never good.
"Rosalie, she has known for a long time, what makes you think she'll tell anyone now?" asked Edward, trying to keep his anger in check. When it came to this human girl -his definite soul mate- he was especially angry at the way Rosalie was imply that they should kill her with no remorse.
She was a puzzle to him, that was for sure. Her mind often blanked out, like it suddenly switched frequency. And her sister -who he already despised for the way she treated his mate- was a complete blank, it was like hitting a wall. Just another reason to hate her.
"Us. Were here now, she knows what we are, she could use that against us. She's human, all they want is their own gain. I wouldn't be surprised if she was making a list right now of all the things she wants" spat Rosalie, all of them were shocked at the venom in her voice, then again it was Rosalie they were talking about. She was well known for iciness towards others.
Edward bit his tongue so hard he was sure he chewed it in half. He resisted the urge to yell at her and instead settled for hissing too low for humans to hear, "You're not the one in her mind, your not the one who hears her terrified thoughts. She's still thinking over how were going to murder her, she's terrified of us. She's so jaded that she believes she's nothing at all and her cold sister means more than here. She wants us to kill her. You don't even want me to start on the pain I can pick up from her mind, I'm sure Jasper can get a hell of a lot more. So shut up going on about how terrible she is when you have no clue what she's like." he resisted the instict to snarl, he wanted to oh so badly.
His family was shocked at the anger and protectiveness that radiated from every word he spoke and seemed to ooze from him. Their brother had never acted like this about a vampire let alone a human.
They watched him silently, shocked beyond words. He stalked in the opposite direction, headed for his next class, Biology. There was a warm but painful tugging on him, begging him to get there faster.
It was official. Edward Cullen had found his soul mate and she needed his help more than even she could know.
thanks to my reviewers and yet again, Jake, i cant thank you enough. yes he will have a place in this story (though not as Jacob Black) review? it will help with my state of mind guys!