I don't own anything but some OC's and a bit of the plot, S Meyer owns the rest.

Warning: sexual and physical abuse is mentioned and may be shown in this story in a flashback or dream, bad language and a supposed mental illness are in this story as well as a lemon or two later on. Read at your own caution.

Lot's of angst.

EdwardxAlice.

There will be shifters in this story, though not the wolves so go away if you don't like it. Bold writing is his voice, italics is Alices mental voice. the song is It Ends Tonight by The All-American Rejects. i think it fits this chapter perfectly because it shows how Alice has found something new and everything in her life ends and becomes completely new. it basically shows a new beginning for her.

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

Edward Cullen had hit a new level of Stalker. It was official. He was just waiting for someone to come up to him and ask if he was secretly John Hinckley.

He didn't even know this girl! Well, he did, but he didn't at the same time. She was his other half, the other half of his soul. He knew her soul inside out, he could read it so easily the second he set eyes on her properly and looked into her eyes. He knew her because of that, because she was his and yet he didn't know anything about her.

He had no clue what her favourite colour was or what music she liked. He didn't have any idea of what her views on life were, he didn't know what religion she was with, if she was with one at all.

It may have seemed trivial but he wanted to know it all, he didn't care if she would be telling him a story of how gum got stuck on her shoe. He'd listen like she was telling him the most interesting thing in the world.

The vampire was fuming with his family -more specifically Rosalie and Jasper. They were adamant about him or any of them having anything to do with her.

Rosalie had spent the better part of his day lecturing him on why he shouldn't even pay attention to what the "silly human" did and it had been grating on him all day until finally he snapped and had lunged for her throat.

He was tired of hearing it, all he wanted to do was stay by his soul mates side and have Rosalie lose her voice box. Now that would be heaven. Every single dig at his soul mate made him want to lash out as protectiveness seemed to ooze from him.

Mindless protectiveness was the reason he was here; pacing in front of her house like some bodyguard with fur.

Alice could not believe her eyes. There, pacing in Charlies' driveway, was a huge wolf. No, not wolf, monster would be a better word.

He was pitch black with large golden eyes that stared at her as he stopped pacing. Alices' head wouldn't even reach his shoulder, just under. She could see huge claws on his paws and muscles that were right beneath the fur and looked threatening. She didn't even want to think about how big his teeth were.

Completely frozen, the breathe left her noisily. The Wolfs' eyes didn't leave the clairvoyants face as if he was looking for something. Alice's face showed nothing but fear as she took in the beast in her fathers' Driveway.

The large black wolf took a step towards her, the crunch of the gravel under his paws snapped her out of her frozen state and she locked the door shut, staring wide eyed at the wolf.

Alice POV

I was too scared to do anything; move, scream, run back inside and lock myself in a wardrobe. My eyes drank in the beautiful and terrifying monster in front of me. It looked like it belonged in a Darren Shan novel simply for the sense of fear it put into me.

The moon bathed the wolf in its glow, i couldn't help but marvel at the way his fur reflected the moon, it turned it a silver and white while it somehow turned the rest of his fur an even darker colour, jet black. It shimmered in different places as he moved, it was too late when i realised the wolf was walking towards me.

My back pressed even harder into the door, my hand still on he doorknob. I was ready to turn it and make a dash inside when he suddenly stopped and looked at me with a cool, golden, gaze. My head titled to the side the same time his did as i studied his eyes.

They were a bright golden -like the vampires' eyes- with flecks of black sprinkled in. The gold was varying- honey, yellow, sunset golden, amber, topaz. It melded together to make the most amazing pair of piercing eyes.

I jumped as he suddenly sank down so that he was lying down with his head on his folded paws. I now could see how sharp and long his claws were. I didn't want to find out what type of damage they could do.

His eyes were still fixed on me and he breathed in an exaggerated breath before letting it out. The action caused me to be aware of the fact that i had stopped breathing.

I let the air leave me shakily and dizziness swirled through me for a minute before i came crashing back to earth and my eyes went to the oversized wolf that was now looking at me worriedly. I looked at it for a long time as my body slowly relaxed even though i was in the presence of a gigantic monster.

I felt it slowly wrap around me and drag me deeper. It was like a ribbon slowly winding around my body before closing around me and squeezing tightly, it felt good. It was a foriegn feeling but i gladly accepted it as all my pain and fear seemed to melt away, he became a distant memory that could easily be passed off as a nighmare as a warmth washed over me at a steady pace.

It wasn't like the heat of the sun, it wasn't blistering or uncomfortable and made me feel like I could sweat, it was like having a hot watter bottle hugged to my bodywhile being wrapped up in a blanket in front of a wood fire on Christmas. Only so much better.

It was sweet and comforting- something i hadn't felt in so long, i couldn't remember the last time i had felt comfort. I wanted to feel it more. To be able to explore that emotion seemed like heaven, the deeper I was pulled in the less I felt fear or pain or anger. Just that fuzzy feeling that I was willingly drowning in.

I took steps towars the wolf, the closer i got the more the feeling increased. I stopped when my bare feet were almost touching his paws, the wolves' eyes were level with my shins. The rocks that made up the gravel in Charlies' driveway dug into my feet but not enough to draw blood.

I looked down at the beast and saw his eyes fixed on my feet that were dotted with scars. I looked at them with revulsion; he looked at them with sadness. He looked back up at me without lifting his head from his giant paws and i couldn't help myself when i leaned forwards slightly and ran my fingers through his fur.

A small gasp left me when his head moved up and i jerked away, thinking he was about to bite me. I stayed still for a minute or two until i lay my hand back on his forehead, my finger slipped into his jet black fur. It was soft and silky.

His eyes stayed fixed on my face. The wolf's face seemed very expressive, too expressive for any normal animal. What was he? A werewolf? A huge, mutant wolf? An oversized dog? I sighed and carefully moved down so i was on one knee in front of him, my hand moving between his black ears.

I decided he needed a name; but what could it be? He was too special to have some ordinary name, he was too powerful to have a dull name. So what could i pick? I was stumped, nothing seemed to fit the wolf. Everything in the English language was too dull for him.

I stroked over one ear as i thought, his eyes had closed and i missed he brightness of them. I leaned forwards slightly and ran my fingers through the thick fur on his neck before moving to the wolfs jaw.

Lupus.

It was the word for Wolf in Latin, it was a perfect name. I felt my lips tip up in something unfamiliar, was i smiling? I froze, my hand still in Lupus' fur, it felt so weird. Odd, i couldn't remember when i had last smiled.

Four? Five? I couldn't remember- maybe i had never smiled. How sad, just another reminder of how utterly worthless my life was. Lupus' was still staring at me, suddenly he moved again and i jumped back, landing on my backside. My palms dug into the rugged rocks as i tried to stay upright as the wolf stood to his full hight and towered over me.

Yet again i was reminded of what a beast i was in the presence of. I scrambled to my feet as Lupus dipped his head down so that his large golden eyes were staring directly into my wide eyes. Before i could register it he had taken another step forwards and his claws almost touched my feet as his warm fur touched my face as he seemed to carefully rub his cheek on my face and neck to try and get me warm.

Only now did i realise i was shivering and he was boiling hot. I couldn't help but let my fingers weave into the fur on his chest and move closer to the delicious heat. It was such a stark contrast to how cold it was at this time of night, it made the heat even more perfect.

My body was quickly warming up and i couldn't stop the soft sigh that escaped me at the warmth, not just the physical heat that seemed to roll off of him but also the warmth that filled me in the sense of comfort i got from him.

Just him being there –even if he was an animal– was an odd and new comfort, the second i had touched him it seemed like the whole world changed. Again.

Like with the vampire in the cafeteria, Lupus seemed to be the center of my whole world. Before nothing made sense; vampires existed, my own family and the people around me hated me and treated me like the peice of dirt i was, i had gone through a hell i deserved and somehow made it out alive, i had visions that shouldn't even exist. And yet, now, i could see everything perfectly clearly.

It all still happened, my life was still a mess and i was still a peice of dirt and yet i could somehow see the symatry of the whole universe. I knew why the world tured, i could tell without a doubt why everything existed and why i went through everything i have. Him.

He was the reason for everything, nothing else would ever matter. He was the reason everything existed, why everything happened. There was nothing without him. He was my reason for existing, the world couldn't go on without him. It would be too painful to lose something so absolutely amazing. His presence in the universe was irrevocable.

I was roused from the peaceful sleep i seemed to have had by the sound of someone calling my name.

"Mary! Your going to be late for school! Wake up!"

i didn't want to wake up, it was too peaceful. I couldn't remember the last time i had had some decent sleep. I hadn't dreamt and i hadn't woken up sweating and screaming, it had been nothing but blissful blackness.

Something cold splashed over my face and i sat bolt upright as a terror filled me, it was too familiar. I waited for the scalding hot water to follow and hear his laughs as i screamed from the agonizing pain but it never came and i wiped at my face furiously before cautiously opening my eyes.

I was back on Charlies' living room couch, a blanked that had been draped on my sleeping form was no longer there but on the floor instead and Bella was standing over me, anger on her face. I was too stunned from the blast from the past from the cold water on my face to move at first but when she started yelling at me to get a move on i jumped into action.

I skipped a shower and just washed my face and brushed through my spiky short hair before throwing on some clothes without looking at the marks on my body. I raced down the stairs and pulled on some boots before i skipped breakfast and ran to the bed of Bella's truck.

On the way to school my mind went back to the night before, had it all been a dream? Surely it had, giant wolves didn't exist...Did they? Vampires existed afterall, what was to say giant wolves didn't either?

On the off chance that they did, why was it so friendly? Why hadn't it ripped me apart? There were no loud growls and snarls, no shows of aggression or hostility. Why? I was confused on the whole thing and yet completely comfortable with it.

I couldn't think of anything other than my wolf. It seemed natural to call him mine, everything in me screamed that he was. But...i didn't deserve him. He could never be mine. I was too much of a disgrace to have him as mine.

He was a wild animal and yet i knew he wasn't. He was as tame as a domesticated dog. Why? Shouldn't he be monsterous?

I was dragged from my questioning thoughts by the loud chatter of Forks High students as Bella parked.

Right next to the silver volvo with a vampire leaning against it.

My eyes stayed fixed on him as he looked at me with a penetrating gaze. Something unfamiliar in his eyes, what was it? It was warm, inviting and i wanted to know what it was. I had never seen it directed at me before. I finally teared my eyes from the bronze haired vampire and all but threw myself out of the bed of the Chevy.

Me being me, i got my foot caught on the left tire of Bella's truck and was sent falling forwards. I was normally a graceful person thanks to the forced ballet "lessons" but thanks to that stupid tire i fell and just before my face was about to smash into the floor arms wrapped around my waist before pulling me up.

I was momentarily disoriented before i registered the cold temperature of the arms around me and the sickening prickling on my skin. Before i could register anything else the arms wrapped tighter around me as he seemed to be hugging me.

It was in the way he held me, the way he stood, the way he smelled, a thousand different things about him that screamed it out to me. He had taught me to be able to recognize it easily, i had been forced to and yet again my senses turned on high alert as i realised that the vampire that was holding me was dominant and powerful.

I really hated that stupid sixth sense...or was it seventh sense? It was screaming at me to do as i was told, stay absolutely silent and keep my eyes fucking down or else he would hurt me. I was terrified.

"Try not to do that again little one. I'd hate to find out what would happen if you fell when i wasn't there to stop you from ruining that pretty little face."

And just like that, his arms weren't around me anymore and the newfound safety i had found from being in them was gone with him.

I wanted to follow the monster with the velvet, comforting voice but i kept still before i was tugged away by my sister and into the school.

Okay, thanks for putting up with me not updating. I've had more depression problems and an ancident with panic attacks related to toasters and guns happened so i've been set back but i'm trying to get back on track. Please bear with me while i sort myself out.

The sentence that Edward said shoudl be enough to give you insight as to how he acts and his personality. More will be revealed about him and you'll see he does have a bit of a darkside but doesn't let it show. Just the fact that he called her "little one" sintead of "my love" like he does with Bella should show you how different my Edward is.

I'd love to have a petname for Edward, like some people have Takeward (Isla De Cullen) who my Edward is loosely based off, others have Fedward, Darkward (for a really sadistic Edward) Domward/Subward for all the BDSM stories ect it could go on for a while so i'd like one for my Edward. I was thinking Wolfward but i want something from you guys so feel free to tell me of one you come up with.

As usual please review and know it would really help with the depression, any small things really help make me happier.

Luv Cyanide (its my Killjoy name)