The following weeks were a blur to me. I blamed myself for allowing the kidnapping to happen, but no one else had expected so much from me. Everyone brooded over Helen's uncertain fate as Tyndareus drained the storerooms for as much wealth as he could spare and raised the taxes on the Spartan people. This was probably the first time my softhearted uncle had raised taxes, but there were no complaints; Helen was beloved by all, and we all wanted to see the girl back.

Helen's twin brothers got on my nerves quite a few times. They were the most hotheaded young men I knew, and they were going to get themselves killed extremely quickly if something didn't knock some sense into them.

"We must go out and fight for our sister's honor!" one of them would periodically claim.

I'd scoff, "What, you against the walled city of Athens? There's a sight I wouldn't mind seeing."

"When the men of Sparta need advice concerning matters of battle from women, it will be a sad day, indeed. You stick to your weaving, dear cousin, and let the men deal with the matters that concern us," the other would respond condescendingly.

I'd roll my eyes at this, but I tried not to let it bother me, especially since my uncle agreed with me, and he was the one making decisions.

I offered to help deal with the palace's finances about two weeks after the kidnapping. I had a head for numbers, and I was sure I could find a way to stretch our gold so it was to Theseus' liking, while still leaving us with a decent amount left in our storerooms.

"It's kind of you to offer, Penelope," my uncle had said, "but I think you'd best leave this to me, all right?"

"But Uncle, I--"

"I know you want to help, but you've already done more than enough. Thanks to your quick thinking, Helen's nurse is with her. I'd have thanked you properly if I'd not been so preoccupied."

I shifted; I was uncomfortable with such praise for something I considered a failing. "In truth, Uncle, I ask for myself. I need a distraction; without Helen here, I don't know what to do with myself.

My uncle had sighed. "If it is so important to you, I'll allow you to advise me; nothing more." His tone had made it clear that there would be no further bargaining. I'd bowed.

"You honor me, Uncle," I'd said, backing out of the room.

When I wasn't weaving or counting gold pieces, I was brooding. I worried about Helen, despite the fact that she was probably fine. Theseus may have been a pirate, but he had been a hero once, and was still a king and a gentleman. He would treat her well; and, yet, what would I do without her? We were two sides of a coin, as well suited to one another as night was to day. We balanced each other out. While I was cunning, she was empathetic. While I was tough, she was soft. I relied on my head, she on her heart. I was, on some level, convinced that if she were cut away from me now, I'd spiral out of control into some nameless void.

T'was a foolish worry, I knew, but I could not cast it away. I threw myself into mindless tasks, and I could not have been more relieved when Sparta finally witnessed Helen's brothers sailing towards Athens with the ransom money.

I'd helped my uncle find ways to stretch every ounce of gold we had, and it was a good thing, too, because not a week after the ship had set sail Prince Ajax visited, in hopes of securing Helen as a wife, and we had to entertain him. As an unclaimed maid, I naturally wasn't expected to present myself to him, but I saw him from a distance occasionally. He seemed content to accept our hospitality, though he was quick to anger.

Finally, when I'd thought an entire lifetime had passed, the cry went up from the lower villages, near the sea: "Ship! Ship!" My uncle hurried down with a small party, but it was deemed that it would be more appropriate for Ajax to remain in his quarters. Frustratingly, there was no question of me remaining in my quarters as well. I spent the whole morning at my loom. I worked too fast, anxious at the prospect of seeing Helen again after over a month had gone by, and I finished the tapestry mid-morning. I stole a look outside the window; the ship was still too far out to even see if Helen was on board or not.

The waiting was driving me crazy. I undid some of my weaving just to have something to do with my hands, and then rewove it. And unwove and rewove for I don't know how long. I heard footsteps.

"Penelope! Oh, Penelope!"

I dropped my distaff and rushed towards the door, reaching it just as Helen burst through.

"Penelope, I missed you so much!" Helen cried as she dashed into my arms. I held her for an eternity before stepping back to look at her.

"You seem...different, Helen." I told her. "Older." I brushed a braid behind her ear as she laughed.

"Well, it's been a month. And it's certainly been an experience. Athens was...Penelope, you can't imagine it! It was so big! And crowded! And the palace..."

"Well, I'm glad you had a good time," I responded, slightly annoyed.

"Oh, Penelope, I didn't mean it like that! It wasn't like some sort of vacation. It's just...the first few days of the voyage, I was scared witless. After a while, though, I told myself that I had to accept my fate and try to make the best of things. So, keeping in mind what you told me right before I left, I did."

"We were all so worried, Helen...you've no idea."

"I'm sorry, truly."

I sighed. "It's not your fault...you mustn't think that."

Helen looked past me, into the room. "Did you weave all that while I was gone?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes, yes."

"It's beautiful. Are those hamadryads?"

"Thank you; yes, and the one in the middle is Demeter."

"She's beautiful. You weave goddesses much more beautiful than I am."

"You don't want to be more beautiful than a goddess, Helen. Remember what happened to Niobe? And Medusa?"

"I don't want to be beautiful at all!" Helen cried. "If I weren't beautiful, I wouldn't have been kidnapped. I wouldn't have to worry about princes fighting over me and threatening Father's peace."

I sighed. "That reminds me. Prince Ajax is here, requesting your hand."

Helen whirled around to face me, and for an instant she looked like a rabbit that's heard the bay of a hound. "He's here? Now?"

"Yes, but--"

"I'll have to meet him! And others will come, and--oh, what if I'm engaged within a month? I'm not even thirteen; I'm not ready to be a wife!"

"Girls have married younger, and I'm sure your father will take longer than a month to decide. Even then, wedding preparations should take a year at least for a wedding so important. Heavens, I'll probably be married before you."

"You?"

"I'm certain I'll be promised to one of your suitors in order to appease his anger at not getting you."

"Has my father told you this?"

"It's just common sense, Helen. He's got to marry me off as well; better to do it all at once. It would work to his advantage."

"Well, any man would be a fool not to be happy with marrying you."

A serving girl burst in. "Miss, the Lord says you're to be bathed and readied to meet the Prince."

Helen sighed. "All right, thank you. I'll be along shortly." She looked at me, worried, before following the girl away.

I lost count of the men who came to see Helen in the next few weeks; there was another Ajax, Patroclus, Idomeneus the Cretan, and Helen's sister's brother-in-law, Menelaus. We stayed up late those nights, debating one suitor against the other.

"They all frighten me, except for Menelaus," Helen told me. "I hope Father picks him."

"He seems gentle enough...not like the Aiantes."

"I know! Those two scare me...I shudder when I think of possibly having to embrace either of them."

"And when you think of embracing Menelaus? What then?"

Helen shrugged. "Nothing much. I just wouldn't mind it as much as I'd mind being embraced by any of the others. You know what?"

"What?"

"Sometimes, I dream of being in love. Of seeing a man and knowing instantly that Aphrodite has promised me to him, and no one else. What do you think of that?"

"I think love is a foolish thing to wish for," I told her.

"Oh, you're no fun, Penelope."

"Well, it is. You never hear any stories of two people being in love without some great tragedy coming along. Some people call love 'Aphrodite's curse', you know."

"But I think it would be worth it, don't you? Can you imagine such emotion? Such passion, as described in all those stories? Experiencing such a thing...wouldn't it be worth anything?"

"You want too much from life, Helen. I just hope to be married to a man I can control."

"What, physically?"

"No, of course not. I'd control a man with my head. If I'm right, and your father marries me off to one of these warlords, I'd hope to be married to one of the duller ones. I could control my life, then."

"Control it to do what?"

"I don't know. Anything I wanted."

"You deserve more than a dull warlord, Penelope. You deserve a man who could match your wits."

I scoffed. "Why would I want that? Such a man might be cruel, and then what would I do?"

"Oh, you'd think of something," Helen mumbled drowsily.

"Helen?" There was no response.

I looked at the ceiling, practically veiled by the darkness. Why should I hope for love? I wondered. Better to hope for less. I ask Athena for too much as it is. If I go bothering Aphrodite as well, I'll just be inviting sorrow.

I'd convinced myself I'd be happier without love a long time ago, when I first realized that one day I'd have to marry. I assumed my lot was to get by with my brain, and hopefully one day raise a daughter who could do the same. I longed for nothing more.

And then, Odysseus of Ithaca arrived.