Disclaimed
=pRiCe RaNge=
Mikan
I hope I'm not a burden to him. I just can't stand being alone right now, knowing guys like that still walk freely. I shuddered. A picture of Xavier appeared in my head. His soft smile his angelic hair his perfect nose... "NO!" I screamed. "I HATE HIM! I ABSOLUTELY DETEST THAT FREAK OF NATURE CALLED A GUY!" I ranted as tears fell again. I wiped at them furiously. I glanced at the picture of Hotaru and I on my desk. "I'm trying to change but I don't want you to see me like this. I know how much it hurts you to see me suffer. I took out a box I kept under my bed. The label wrote 'The Past'. I opened it. It was filled with pictures, pictures which confused me. It was a collection of all the guys I dated, as I scanned the photographs some bought memories but most of them I didn't even recognise. At the bottom of the box was a smaller box. It was filled with photos of me and... him. I closed the boxes and put them away. "What should I do?"
While I was cooking dinner, (Natsume was coming over.)
I realised a couple of things.
First, I need to straighten out my life
Second, I need to at least loosen my grip on Natsume or I might lose an awesome friend.
Third, I need to find a guy to at least protect me. I sighed. And I HAVE TO LOVE HIM. I need love in my life or it would just be full of hate.
When Natsume came I was in my normal house clothes. I think I somehow managed to get my act together. I was wearing light blue short shorts and a white tank top. When I opened the door I saw an exquisite guy in an all too normal attire. "Come in Natsume-kun." He walked in my apartment like he was the one who owned it. He sat down on my sofa and turned on the TV. What a slob! "We'll have dinner in 10 minutes." I said and turned to the kitchen.
Well at least he still came. He isn't the type to acknowledge a normal person, Ruka-kun told me that. I didn't know if I was going to smile or frown about that. I have to tell Natsume-kun about my plans on improving... and finally moving on. Permanently. I stirred the soup for one last time then transferred it to a bowl. There dinner's set and ready. "Natsume-kun the food's done." I said as I sat on one end of the table.
"Natsume-kun I um... have a few um... things to... hmm...say." I fumbled through my rice bowl. He looked up with an uninterested look on his face. "I want to um... to... be...um...better." I finished. He put down his bowl and looked straight at me. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. I looked down. "Better?" He said in a dead tone. "Well yeah. Um...I don't like the way I've been these few days." I stopped and looked up. He was still looking at me with those daunting crimson eyes. "I know I caused you a lot of trouble. Ruka told me...everything." I said in a weird throaty voice. "You would have found out anyway." He shrugged. "You have enough drama in your life besides me forcing to gain attention." Inside I felt somehow degraded, hurt. He just looked at me then resumed eating again. "You're a great friend Natsume-kun, even if we weren't that way at first." He looked a bit unprepared to hear what I said. "I have an explanation about everything although it's not a very good one." I confessed. He nodded. "Ruka has already told me." I was a thankful that I didn't have to explain it myself. "Oh." I said in a relieved tone. "Are you done eating?" I asked looking at his empty plate. He nodded again. "I'll clear the table first then I'll show you something." I told him.
After clearing the table, I went to my room. I took two boxes from under the bed. I walked out to the living room carrying the loads. I set them on the coffee table. Natsume looked at me questioningly. I opened the first box. The easier on to open. The pictures. Natsume looked at all of them one by one. When he reached the bottom of the box it revealed the smaller one inside it which contained the hurtful memories. It still had the scent of light strawberries. "I think you deserve better than him." He said looking up from the photos of Xavier. "I tried to look for better guys." I said pointing at the other pictures. When he was done I took the larger box. It was a bit heavy. "I haven't opened this in a few years." I said, mostly to myself. I urged him to open the box. I didn't want to touch it. The first thing he pulled out were a few trinkets. A small pouring key chain, a cute pin etc. "Those are from sophomore year. He gave me those when he thought I was gloomy or sad." I said trying to avoid emotion. He pulled out clothes next. "He um... liked to go see me 'looking pretty'." I explained as he raised a red dress. The next thing he pulled out was a bit shocking for me to see because it reminded me of how 'in love' that guy and I were. He pulled out the jewellery. Most of them were gold only a few were silver. He wanted gold because it was like his hair. Seems weird doesn't it? I never asked for how much those things were but looking at them now I know they are worth a fortune. I want to return it to Xavier. I don't want to have anything to do with him but I don't want to give away something so expensive either. The last thing in the box was a stack of papers. "Those are the poems he wrote for me." I said."His writing is something I'm actually thankful for because after he left me. Writing was the only way I could be myself before. "Could write one now?" Natsume asked out of the blue. "Um...sure, I guess." I said taking a piece of paper under the table. I wrote one stanza then gave it to Natsume.
Wild and beautiful
Captivating yet dangerous
I hope I can see more though
Because this rose is only in its growth
It has not bloomed yet
And I will wait here until it does.
-M.S.-
"You are good Sakura." He said. I think he saw my cheeks flushing. "Why didn't you take journalism though?" He asked. "Well, writing is a part of me but it's not something I want to known for. I have always wanted to get into the acting scene but there just isn't any opportunities for me. Besides I won't make much of a living from writing anyway. "Hn." He said then I put everything back in the boxes.
Before Natsume went home I told him something. I told him that I was going to be a completely different from the weak useless me he saw. I want to do it but I couldn't read Natsume's eyes.
Thats it for now guys. But all of the poems I've used came from Xiao Wawa(I have permission) It would be great if we could support her on facebook just add her.(same name) Thanks guys! R&R!