Disclaimer: I do not own South Park
Thank-you to everyone who has reviewed this story! You're all awesome!
An update? Only a week after the last? This is some sort of record for me.
Warnings: Language
Enjoy!
Candy vs. Kyman
Walking down the corridors, everyone stares. With looks of jealousy, lust and admiration. You know why? 'Cos I'm Eric fucking Cartman.
The guys hate me coz the chicks love me. The chicks love me coz they aint never seen such athletic potential and intelligence wrapped up in a package this sexy.
And the ones who fell hardest? The Jew rat and hippy bitch. They competed for grades to please me. They spent so long on their appearances just hoping I may glance their way. "I want Eric" Was written all over them. Ever since the hippy bitch had kissed me in fourth grade, she wanted me bad. And everyone knows the Jew rat argues with me coz he wants my attention. Ever since he sucked my balls in imaginationland.
I don't even know which one I want. I mean, they both have appealing qualities. Kyle was feisty, had a nice ass and making him beg would make my day. And Wendy was sexy as hell and knows what she wants and is willing to do anything to get it. Alot like me.
So, instead of deciding, I string them both along. Coz I can that being who I am.
A wink there, a touch here. Neither know who I prefer. It just causes more tension between the two. And I do love me a bitch fight.
So I bide my time until one of them gives into their desires and becomes my bitch.
Apparently Testaburger is the first to break. She drops down on her knees infront of me, begging me to be hers, kissing my shoes like a good little slave.
The hippy bitch won. She is mine. That fantastic body, that long black hair and pretty blue eyes. All mine. And I can see the Jew rat glaring from across the corridor. Well maybe he should have begged harder.
Meanwhile...
"Hey, looks like fatass got someone just as deluded as him" Stan muttered to his super best friend.
Kyle glanced at the couple and saw Cartman smirk at him. A chill ran up his spine.
"Thank fuck! Maybe he'll stop touching me now"
Apparently I can't do kyman. Lol
If you really want it though, tell me. Coz the next chapter is Cryle vs. Kyman.
Please read and review!