Disclaimer: I do not own South Park

So here you go! The 7th one-shot! Hope you're in the mood for some Kyman vs. Cryle.

And I apologise for the incredibly short length.

Kyman vs. Cryle

Kyle had a problem. Kenny said it was kinky. Stan said it was unhealthy. And Cartman said nothing because in all honesty he couldn't care less about the "Jew Rat"

This was actually the problem though. Kyle felt a strong attraction for boy's who didn't care about him. He could talk about self respect, how he had been raised to think he was worth making a deal out of, all he wanted, but the simple fact was that the less someone cared for the Jewish teen, the more attracted he became towards them.

This meant that he had the absolute largest crush on two boys at South Park High; Eric Cartman and Craig Tucker.

The way Eric yelled at him to "Shut up about his stupid Jew problems" made Kyle's heart race and he had begun to bitch about his life even more just to be yelled at by the fat boy.

And the way Craig Tucker was apathetic towards everyone and everything, the only emotion ever shown through that famous middle finger of his, oh it made Kyle weak at the knees. He had begun bumping into him in the corridors just for this reaction.

However, Kyle stuck to at least one of the morals he had been taught as a child, and thus refused to choose between either boy until he was sure which one he loved the most.

Unknown to Kyle, was that Craig and Cartman were also pining after him. So it had become a competition between the two to see whom could be the least caring towards the ginger boy, even though both wanted nothing more than to shower him in presents and treat him like royalty,

At this point a stalemate had been reached. Neither knew how to sway Kyle's affections towards themselves.

The stress of the situation had taken an adverse effect on both Cartman and Craig. But it seemed as though Cartman's determination was pulling him through the situation. Craig on the other hand had been getting about as much sleep as Tweek Tweak. And everyone saw what that did to a kid.

So, when everyone was rushing out the door, attempting to escape the torture that is English, Craig had held the door open for his beloved Jew.

It was only seconds after this that Craig realised the mistake that he had made. He brushed it off though. I mean, one little action couldn't make that much difference, right?

It was only later, when he saw Kyle pressed between a wall and Eric Cartman, lip locked with the fat bastard, that he fully comprehending the consequences of his actions.

There you go! Because so many people wanted Kyman to win last time, they got it this time.

Sorry if the characters are terribly out of character, generally I do not choose to write either Cryle or Kyman. But I gotta get credit for trying right?

Next chapter is likely to be Cleek (ClydexTweek) vs Creek coz I feel like it and I like writing Clyde.

Please read and review!