Disclaimed
=pRiCe RaNge=
MIKAN
I re-read the script again. It was a good one. It was a romantic tragedy. It was sort of like Romeo and Juliet only, it's in this era. 'Matthew I can't be with you anymore. It's more than I bargained for.' That line stuck a chord somewhere in my heart. While I was reading the script someone slid beside me on the bench. He took the script in my hand. "Natsume, give it back." I said annoyed at his shenanigans. He read the script then handed it back to me. "I'm guessing your 'Beth'?" He said lying down on the bench. "You guessed right." I said putting the script in my bag. He smirked. "What?" I said knowing he knew something I didn't. "You'll know soon enough." He said getting up heading to the cafeteria. "Whatever." I think I'm becoming more and more like him.
When I arrived at the theatre all the girls were around some guy. I put my bag down and spoke to the director. He informed me of the rehearsal schedule. "Who's going to be playing Matthew?" I asked while scanning the line up. "Some guy foreigner called Kristopher something." The director answered. "Mikan." I heard someone call me. What was he doing here? "Natsume" I saw a copy of a script in his hands. "Oh God, You have a part in this don't you?" He just smirked at me. I groaned.
"Who are you going to be playing?" I said leaning lightly on him. "This guy." He said pointing to a guy's line in the script. "Oh, the bad guy." I said nudging his shoulder. "It suits me don't you think." He said moving to a more comfortable position. "Whatever." I finished, and then ran up the stage to mingle a little with the crew. When I got to the group surrounding the Kristopher guy he stood up and approached me. "Hi, I believe you're my leading lady?" He said extending his hand to me dramatically. Freak. That's what I wanted to say. Instead I said, "Yes I am. Sakura Mikan as Beth." I said shaking his hand but pulled away quickly. This guys giving me the willies. "Everyone! 5th scene! Drama! Lights! And Action!" The director said into the mini megaphone. Everyone scrambled into place.
-DIFFERENCES-
Narrator: The days were never this still or silent. High school will never be. But today it was. Something would happen today and Beth doesn't know what...
Beth: I'll never leave again. Never. Never. The hurt afterwards isn't worth the experience like they all say. (Clutching her chest and hand mirror in hand ) They don't know how absolutely worthless I am. I'm nothing. I'm just a piece of crap in world. (Break the hand mirror)
Narrator: She didn't know what would happen yet. She didn't know what the universe has prepared for her.
Matthew: (Lying in bed) Elise doesn't seem to be the same as she was before. I don't know if I even love her anymore. She is completely oblivious to the things I feel.
...and the rehearsal went on...
I got home from school, completely exhausted. Schoolwork, rehearsal, a leading guy with a cocky attitude and a headache of a boyfriend.
Beep...
Beep... Hello? Natsume?
Hm.
"What?" I asked cradling the phone on my ear so I could change into a comfy pair of shorts.
You want to go to dinner?
"I want to but my body doesn't. I'm so tired. I said with a groan."
But I want to see you.
"Natusme cheesy lines don't suit you." I said raising an eyebrow. "What do you want?"
Nothing. I just wanna see you.
"Natsume just tell me. I think I can handle whatever it is." He was silent for a while.
I really do miss you but you know there's something more don't you?
I didn't bother to answer the question. He knows the answer to it anyway.
I was offered a movie deal.
I swallowed the forming lump in my throat.
It's in America.
I thought I was going to faint. Could I bear to be away from him? I doubt it.
Mikan, you could go with me you know.
That wasn't a choice either. I can't leave Japan, but if he leaves then my heart leaves with him.
"When?" I asked.
It's still months after graduation. We can decide what to do later.
"O-okay. I'll hang up first okay. Love you, bye." I said.
I went to school the next day sleepless with bags under my eyes that couldn't be covered by any amount of concealer. I rubbed my temple to ease my headache. Natsume was always beside me even when he didn't need to be. I still don't know what to do about it. I could ask Natusme to reject the job not that he needs the money but acting is his art, his passion. I don't know how to go about it. I have my own dreams too.
He let go of my hand and gave me a look that seemed to say, 'we'll talk about IT later.' I sighed and made my way to class.
After what seems to be forever the day ended I was in bed trying to get some sleep but the conversation I had with Natsume wouldn't leave my thoughts. He would be graduating first and I would have to decide if I want to go with him or not without finishing collage. Or I could finish collage and I would just go to the States afterwards. I couldn't do either of the two. I screamed into my pillow. "Natsume, why won't you just TELL me what to do?" I said into the pillow. I sat on my bed and took the phone and dialled Hotaru's number and told her everything. At first she was mad because I intruded her sleep but then later on after she heard what would happen I heard the caring in her voice. "Mikan you have to BE the one to decide. I know that he means so much to you but losing sight of him for a little while can't be all that crappy? We'll all still be here with you." "I know, I know. It's just that sometimes I hope he wasn't famous. His status just makes me feel more unsure. I mean I'm just a simple person and he's all that and more. I can't make him give up that deal because of me. I couldn't live with myself if I did but then again I can't lose him either, it hurt already by just thinking about it." I said my voice filled with confusion. "Baka, You don't have to decide now you know. There are still a few months before he graduates. Lighten up and enjoy your time with him now." I just listened to my usually silent friend. "An observation I have of the two of you is that you care for each other way too much. You guys should be more selfish in your relationship. Well, I wanna go to sleep Mikan. Bye." Hotaru finished and the line went silent. "Bye." I whispered into the phone.
GRADUATION
Everyone in the senior class had beaming smiles on their faces except one. Natusme. He knew that today I would have to tell him my decision on how to go about our relationship. During the past months we were the same as always and growing stronger every day. Tears were rolling down my eyes as I stood in the bleachers waiting for this to end. Anna with wet eyes looked at me "I know right? I can't believe their graduating. Next year it'll be our turn. They're going out into the world, I wonder how that feels?" Anna-chan said to me. Her words meant so much more than what she wanted them to. Nobody besides Natsume, Hotaru, Ruka and I knew about the possible complication in our relationship. All they know is that Natsume and I were the couple to be this school year. I forced a smile at her.
Natsume and I were sitting under our tree for the last time. I told him my decision. He didn't try to change it.
"I'm breaking up with you."
Natsume just sat there with no reaction to what I just said. We both said nothing for a couple of minutes. I decided to break the silence. "Natsme, you know that it would have been too hard to keep a commitment when we're on different sides of the world." I let out a deep sigh. I leaned to give him a kiss on the cheek but he stood up without a word and just left.
After he left I was still in the same spot, I knew that I had to stand by me decision even if some part of me didn't agree with it. I chewed on my bottom lip until it went numb.
When I got home I took my notebook and lied in bed, pen and all.
Bye.
I thought I would be alright
I thought my heart would give up without a fight
But letting you go is harder than it seems.
I couldn't bear to watch as the love turned to nothing other than memories and dreams
I thought my eyes could bear to see
The sight of you leaving me
As the petals fell on my fallen tears
So come the surrounding fears
I have to learn how to live without you
I don't know how much of that decision I'll rue.
I cradled my head in my arms and something poked me. I touched my head looking for whatever it was. The hair pin, I was planning to give it back to him after his graduating but I guess it slipped my mind. I don't think I could give it back anyway. I didn't want to break up with him but him being a celebrity and I'm just plain old me. Our relationship would never work. People might look down on him because of me; I can't deal with his failure being my fault. I shook my head and blinked back the tears. I shoved the pin in my dresser drawer and slept that night smeared mascara and all. I couldn't care less on how I looked tonight. I just wanted to cry myself to sleep.
I woke up too late to go to work this morning. "I'll just call in sick." I mumbled as I headed to the bathroom to wash up. I wasn't lying about being sick anyway. I was sick about having to make that decision. I had to do it. We were from different levels in life. Natume accomplished what others could only dream of in their lifetime but I... I've just been living a sad life. Our price range was too different.
After lunch I took a jog and checked my mail. "Nothing but spam mail." I muttered. I threw the mail across the coffee table and a maroon envelope fell on the floor. Probably just another advertisement. I switched on the TV and just relaxed my nerves.
Later that evening I received a phone call from Hotaru-chan to go to Fukotomi. I was meeting her there in an hour.
When I got to Fukotomi Hotaru was just standing in front of the shop. She was facing the street. I tapped her shoulder. "Hotaru-chan, why did you want me to go out tonight?" She pointed to a cab on the otherside of the street. It was Ruka carrying a pair of suitcases onto a cart at the airport. I turned to Hotaru. "Is Ruka going out of the country?" She nudged me to keep looking. What I saw took all my strength not to go running to the other side. Natsume was also carrying luggage, only he was the one holding his passport. He hugged his friend goodbye and pushed the cart inside the doors. When Natsume was gone Ruka crossed the street. I held back everything, my tears, my uneasiness, my loneliness. Ruka took me in his arms and hugged me. Hotaru just hushed me like a mother trying to comfort her child. They knew how much pain Natsume's leaving caused me.
After a while they took me to a cafe and I ate strawberry shortcake to comfort myself. Ruka was paying. "Wasn't he leaving supposed to leave not less than three months from now?" I said stabbing the piece of cake. Ruka nodded."But he they called him early for the costume fitting and other stuff I don't know." Ruka said in an obvious angry voice. "I thought he came back to Japan because he didn't want to lose his 'best friend' again." I said then shoved a piece into my mouth. Ruka sighed. "Yes, he came back because of that but also because he said he was tired of working all the time. I will admit to you that I told him to take the job. I'm going to the states in a few years anyway. My dad works there and I'm taking over as soon as I finish collage." Ruka explained. I didn't have anything to say so I just nodded. Hotaru was sitting beside Ruka but she was staring at me like I was a foreigner in her eyes. After I finished my cake Hotaru said she would be sleeping in my apartment tonight so Ruka left on his own.
As soon as we got through my apartment door. Hotaru's face was red and she slapped me across my face. My cheek stung at the impact. "Hotaru-chan..." I said, tears already brimming in my eyes. "Don't you dare cry again Mikan. YOU were the one who LET HIM GO. You had a chance to be happy and you blew it! How stupid can you be!" She said going to the kitchen and removing pictures from the refrigerator's door. The pictures of me and Natsume. "You guys could have been like this all the time!" Hotaru-chan screamed at me waving the pictures in my face. She went to the my room and slammed door. "You were the one who broke your own heart this time IDIOT!" Hotaru screamed at the other side of the door. "I know." I whispered to myself. I grabbed a blanket and pillow and laid down on the couch. I wasn't going to get inside my room anyway. Not when Hotaru's in there.
The entire night I tossed and turned. I didn't get a wink of sleep. I decided to go jogging at 5 am just to get rid of all the nerves that God know where it came from. When I got home I took the mail and scanned it again. Just junk mail and that maroon envelope again. "Hmm...again?" I muttered inside the dim living room. Then Hotaru came out of my room looking as groggy as she slept last night. I put the envelope aside. "Morning." I said and got started on breakfast. I didn't get to open the envelope that day either.
School started again and I was pretty much over that person, on the outside that is. I still haven't read the maroon envelope that comes every month. What? I never had time to open it. I was busy in rehearsals this school year. I'll open it as soon as I have time I mentally said to myself.
Turns out that the time that I will have time to open the letter was after graduation when I was getting rid of all the junk that was cluttered in my apartment. I hate to say it but I completely forgot about it because senior year was so hectic. But schools all over now. My phone rang and it was Hotaru. "Hello?" I said as I finally opened the letter.
"Mikan, can you come over and bring me my files? Their on the dining table." Hotaru asked, more like commanded.
I read the letter. "Oh My Gosh. Oh. My. Gosh! Hotaru remember the maroon letter I got in the mail every month that I never got to open, well not until now that is." I said excitedly.
"No I don't remember but I do need those files Mikan." She said impatiently.
"Yeah, yeah I'll bring them over but listen to this first okay?" I said barely able to hold back the news I wanted to tell her.
"Fine, shoot." She said uninterested.
"Well, it says that they want to hire me!" I said excitedly.
"They who?" Hotaru said suddenly paying attention.
"Well it's a theatre in the States and they want to hire me as a regular actress!" I said holding none of my emotions back.
"That's great news Mikan." Hotaru said happily. "Now bring me my files."
"Fine. I'll be there in 15 minutes." I said then hung up.
Everything's finally working out. I'll go to the States first to work and Hotaru and Ruka will follow after they marry like we planned. I thought as I brought Hotaru's stuff to the school library.
When I got out of the school someone my mobile rang. I checked the ID number but it wasn't someone I knew. It had a different country code too. It was foolish to pick up but I did. "Hello?"
Yes, Hello, Is this Ms. Sakura?
"May I ask who this is?"
This is Clearstone Publishing from America and we would like to ask if you would allow us to publish your work.
"My WORK? What work is it may I ask ."
Why, Your poems , they are quite deep and very emotional. Of course you will also have your share in the profit and you will have the decision on how you want to package it.
"Excuse me?"
Clearstone Publishing wants to work with you Ms. Sakura and we will be paying for your stay in the States if you will agree.
"I'll get back to you."
We hope to hear from you soon .
Beep.
I ran back into the library. I need Hotaru to make sure all this is ALL true. I hope it is.
Preview
The next thing I know I was on a plane on the way to California...
Done! R&R.
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