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VERY IMPORTANT A/N BELOW. PLEASE READ!

Age 17

Bella

I leaned my head on Edward's shoulder and held onto his hand tightly. The town flew by quickly and a violet glow appeared in the afternoon sky. There had never been such a beautiful twilight. I would have been able to appreciate it if I could have calmed down, but my hands were sweating and my heart was beating fast.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, looking down at me.

I tried to smile back. "Nothing," I replied softly. "Just a lot of things on my mind right now."

"Don't stress about anything," he urged, squeezing my hand. "Promise me you'll tell me if anything's wrong."

I rolled my eyes, trying to play it off, but my stomach was churning. "Okay," I said back. He'll know soon enough anyway.

The car suddenly came to a sharp stop, and Edward's body collided with mine.

"What the hell, Emmett?" Jasper groaned. "I thought you passed the driving test."

"Yeah, but it's these red lights, okay? They change color whenever they want–there's no warning or anything," Em said. "Shitty electrical devices. Why can't they have policemen come and direct us?"

I tried to join in the laughter, but my mind kept reminding me of what I had to tell Edward in less than an hour's time.

Two days before I had graduated, Mr Banner had called me into his office and offered me an opportunity to participate in a science that had already accepted me. He had, without my knowledge, sent in applications for some of his students but I was the only one who had been chosen.

"This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Miss Swan," Mr Banner said, peering at me sternly through his glasses. "Not many students get a chance like this one."

I took the thick envelope with shaky hands. They wanted me. Not Eric, not Tyler, but me.

"The program will take place during the summer in Newcastle, so you will be able to go to college as planned," he continued.

There was a short silence, and then Mr Banner spoke again. "Please tell me you will consider the offer. If you have any financial problems, just contact me, and the school has scholarships available. I would hate for you to miss out because of that."

I nodded, excited. "Thanks, sir. I'm astounded that you did this for me, and I'll consider it."

"You're a smart girl, Bella," he said, and he gave me a rare smile.

Emmett suddenly took a left turn and parked near the docks. It was then I realized where we were.

"Wow, Edmonds already?" I asked Edward, surprised. "That was quick."

Edward chuckled. "Baby, you slept half the trip. We played cards and everything and you missed out on it all. Em started singing stupid songs loudly, and you didn't move an inch," he said in wonder. "You look kind of … keyed up. Are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I am."

"Okay. That's good," he murmured, kissing me softly on the lips.

"You haven't told him, yet?" Alice asked me urgently as the boys unpacked our bags, ready to take them onto the ferry.

"No, I haven't," I started. "I'm scared, Alice. Will he wait for me? Or will I come back and realize that he has this amazingly cool–"

"Isabella. Swan. Don't. You. Ever. Say. That. Again," she said, through gritted teeth. "Edward loves you. The way he looks at you … I can't describe it. It's like he's looking at his firstborn son or something."

I snorted. "Nice description, Alice."

"You'll see," she defended. "He's going to wait for you, no matter what. You'll see."

"I hope so," I muttered under my breath.

For the past few days, Edward had been talking non-stop about the trip to Seattle, where all of us would be able to properly celebrate graduation together. I didn't make any comment, nor did I object to his plan when he asked me if I agreed. The exchange was going to be amazing, and would be a huge benefit for me when I go to college, and hopefully, medical school after that. It would mean that our summer together, which had just started, would end in a few days.

"We're on a boat!" Emmett exclaimed loudly as we boarded the ferry. "We're on a fucking boat without our parents. This fucking rocks."

"Em!" Rose said sharply, nudging him gently in the ribs. "People are staring. You don't say those things in public for crying out loud."

Edward laughed and nudged his head towards two elderly people, who were hurrying away from us.

I stared at Edward while he chatted with Ben, Em, and Jazz. I wanted to memorize every line of his face and every single mannerism before I left. It was what made him so perfect. He was an amazing boyfriend and an amazing friend. The way he interacted with people, the way he charmed everyone he met–it was all so incredible.

"Bella!" Rose called out to me, bringing me back to Earth. "We're here now."

"Where?" I asked absentmindedly.

"Seattle," she said, and grabbed my hand firmly, dragging me towards the dock. "What has gotten into you?"

"She hasn't told him yet," Alice interjected.

"Bella," Rose said slowly. "Are you fucking with me?"

I looked at my feet, refusing to make any eye contact with Rose. I was sure she was about to kill me. "No. I didn't have time, okay? All Edward did these past days was plan what we were going to do this summer, and it would just ruin everything, you know?"

Rose sighed. "He's going to be upset and angry no matter what."

"Shut up," I said, closing my eyes and trying not to think about it. I didn't want to think about it, but I didn't have much time now. Rose was right–I should've told him when I first got to Forks. It would've saved a lot of trouble.

I fiddled with the hem of the dress Alice made me wear as Edward dumped our bags onto our bed. I was glad I hadn't told Charlie that Edward and I were sharing a room and a bed, or that the others planned to do the same thing–he would've come along, too.

"Bella," Edward said, suddenly in front of me, his hands caressing my face softly. "I'm not stupid; I know something about you is off."

"Edward," I muttered, my eyes refusing to meet his. "I'm … I'm just scared."

"About what?" he asked immediately. "I'm here, and I'll help you. All you have to do is tell me. I'll take care of you."

The way he said it sounded so caring and sincere that, it made my eyes begin to water.

"Bella?" he asked anxiously. "What's wrong, baby? Are you sick? Do you need me to get help or something?"

I shook my head. This wasn't going as planned. The more Edward was concerned about me, the angrier he was going to get for starting all this worrying. And suddenly, I didn't know how to tell him. We were all alone in the room, and the rest of our friends were probably downstairs swimming in the pool or something.

"I've been accepted into a science exchange program," I said quietly, closing my eyes, waiting for Edward's reaction, which was probably not going to be good, but all I heard was him breathing–breathing hard.

"When do you leave?" he asked. His voice was painful to hear, and I felt a truckload of guilt wash through me. He was in pain because of me. He was worrying because of me. It seemed that I couldn't do anything right by him.

"I … I haven't decided if I'm going to go because–" I stuttered before Edward cut harshly across me.

"Bullshit. You want to go. Why the hell would you want to stay in Forks if you had a chance to get the fuck out of here?" he said, his words cut into me deeply. "Why the fuck would you want to stay with me when you could have all the guys in the whole world bowing at your feet?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I shot back; surprised that he could make such a statement. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Edward laughed coldly and backed away from me. "I'm just a fucking guy from Forks – a guy you've known since forever. You could already be sick of me for all I know."

"Edward," I said weakly, reaching out towards him. "Don't do this. I love you, and there's nothing you can do about it! You may be sick of me already, but I can't change how I feel for you. You're it for me, and that's all you need to know."

His eyes softened a little at my statement but hardened immediately after. "Then why have you been ignoring me since you've gotten here? Just tell the truth, Bella. I don't want you to say it nicely. Just tell me right away so I know."

Tears were starting to fall onto the floor now. My face was streaked with them, and I didn't know what to say. What Edward had said was so harsh, so wrong, but I didn't know how to fix my mistake.

"It's my fault," I said. "It's entirely my fault. I should've told you about the letter before but I didn't. I didn't because I was scared of your reaction. You have no idea how much you mean to me. Did I ever … did I ever give you the impression that I didn't want you?"

My eyes were pleading with him to understand; that I wasn't going away because I wanted to just get out of here. I wanted to go because I knew I may never have an experience or an opportunity like this again. I wanted to go because I thought I knew Edward–the real him–that he would understand me and wait for me so that we could go to college as planned.

I didn't know he could be so cruel. I thought he trusted me, but I must've thought wrong.

Without another word, I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door. There's no returning if you do this, Bella. You walk out and everything will be gone.

"You know what?" I spat out. "It doesn't matter if you don't have an answer to that. You obviously don't trust me, so I don't know why I'm here."

Before Edward could react, I opened the door and slammed it loudly behind me. A sob escaped me and a pair of arms embraced my weakened frame.

"It's okay, Bella," Rose said, trying to calm me. "Everything's going to be fine. We're all here for you."

"I just want to get out of here, Rose," I said, trying to control my tears. "It's all too much for my heart to take. I thought we could be able to work through this, but obviously – "

"Edward's always an asshole," Em grumbled. "Wish he knew what the fuck he did. But don't worry, Bells. He always comes 'round, even when it might be too late."

"Are you going back to Charlie's?" Alice asked me anxiously.

I shook my head furiously, my tears still blinding me. "Get me out of Washington. I need some time away from everything, Al."

"Are you sure you'll be fine by yourself?" Rose asked, sounding a little frightened.

"Yeah," I said.

"But where will you go, Bells?" Emmett asked. "North or South Pole?"

I let out a short laugh of hysteria. Em could be in such a light-hearted mood even when the atmosphere wasn't. "I'll take the South Pole and swim with the dolphins," I tried to say jokingly, but it sounded rather sinister.

"Bella?" Alice asked me. "Seriously?"

I squinted at the midday sun's glare. "I think I want to go to Newcastle earlier, so I can settle in and get ready, you know? Like a new start – to get away with all this heavy stuff."

"What about Edward?"

My heart constricted at the sound of his name, and I let a few more tears escape. "I'm going to miss him so much," I finally said. "I can't believe I feel this way after what he said, but I love him and nothing can change that."

…

Leaving Edward was the hardest thing I had ever done, even though he probably didn't care. I wished that Alice or Rose would tell me what he had been doing the past week, but all they did was send me emails with vague answers. Were they keeping something from me? Was Edward already moving on?

As I headed towards the science building, my phone buzzed and the name which appeared on my screen almost made me drop it.

It was Edward.

I opened the message, hoping that it was something my heart could take.

I'm sorry-Edward

I clasped my phone shut. A wave of anger rolled through me. Did he really think that I could forgive him with a simple apology after almost two weeks of been ignored? He didn't even ask if I was okay, which made me feel like an enemy of his that he had just bullied.

"Is everything all right?" a voice near me asked.

I turned around and smiled softly, realizing that it was my lab partner, Riley. He had just graduated from school himself in Chicago and had come to Newcastle for the program so that he could also tour the country a little.

"Sure," I said.

Riley winked at me and nodded with acknowledgement. "Are you? No boyfriend problems?"

"How did you know?" I asked him, amazed.

He grinned at me and shrugged. "Just wondering. You looked kind of upset by the text."

I didn't know what made me do it, but I was suddenly spilling out my personal life to a man I'd met only a few days ago. I told him how I was surprised to be accepted into this program and how I thought everything would work out. I told him how Edward and I lived far away from each other and only got to see each other once a year, just for the summer, but we had still made it until now. I told him about how Edward reacted to my news and how upset I had been.

"But you're here now," he mused after I finished.

"Yeah," I laughed. "I guess I am. I just needed a break from everything."

Riley nodded. "Which college are you planning to attend?"

"I got accepted into Vassar and Dartmouth, but I chose Dartmouth because of the medical program they have there," I explained. And because Edward got in as well.

"Oh," he replied, somewhat disappointed. "I'm going to Stanford. My dad was a professor there, but he retired early."

I'd never realized how excited I was to learn biochemistry until now. Mr. Banner had been right. This experience was one I would not regret, even though I'd made a lot of sacrifices. I thought about what Edward and I could be doing right now if I had decided not to go. We'd probably be having icecream at the docks, or watching the sunset on the beach, or even maybe…

"Hey, you here?" Riley asked, cutting through my reverie. "It's your turn."

He handed me the slide and I slid it under the microscope. We were looking at lipids today. It wasn't very interesting or difficult, so I wasn't really paying a lot of attention.

I sighed. Just six more weeks to go, Bella. Six more weeks.

"A bit gross, huh?" Riley asked me.

I smiled at him. "Yeah. My dad wasn't really a health freak, and if only he knew what he was consuming each day..."

Riley laughed. "Yeah. Mine aren't that serious about this, either. Do you want to be a doctor when you're older?"

I was surprised by the turn of his question but answered anyway. "Yeah. I want to go to medical school, but my parents don't really encourage me because, I mean, it's hard to even get accepted into med school. But med school is awesome. If I had the chance, I'd definitely go."

The days passed quickly when Riley was around. He was nice and easy-going. There were only a couple of days left, and I was glad to have the rest of the time off so that I could go visit the Gateshead Millennium Bridge and the Cathedral Church of St. Nicholas with Riley.

"Bet your friends miss you heaps," he said as we ate lunch together, sitting by the pond in the shade.

"Yeah, I hope." I smiled as I thought of Rose and Alice, who had continued to email me about stuff that was going on. Rose's parents had rented a little apartment for her and Em to stay in while studying at Dartmouth. I sighed as I thought about where I was going to go. Edward and I had planned to stay together in the apartment Carlisle invested in but after what had happened, I wasn't sure. Maybe I would end up living on campus. I really wasn't sure.

Riley seemed to have noticed me tensing, and he frowned. "Worried about getting home?"

"Worried about arriving," I corrected him.

'You'll be fine. You've only been gone for two months, not two years."

I giggled at his logic. "Yeah."

"We have to keep in contact, Bella," he said, smiling at me. "You've been a great friend to me, and I hope we can continue to be close."

"Of course," I said, grinning at him. "You've given me so much support – much more than I deserved, and I really have to thank you for that."

He shrugged. "No problem."

The sky was darkening, and Riley sighed. "Time to go."

I stood up and hugged him. "I'll miss you heaps."

"Me too," he said as he hugged me back.

I watched him walk away, but he stopped suddenly and turned around. "Good luck with that boyfriend of yours." He winked and waved.

…

I looked at my phone nervously. Alice was supposed to be here ten minutes ago. She was never late to anything, so I started to walk towards the exit. Checking out took no time because there weren't many people on my flight so I watched awkwardly at the many couples who reunited, all smiling and happy.

I gritted my teeth and tears threatened to fall. Whatever happened to us? I still hadn't thought of what to say to him yet, and the thought was making me tense and uneasy. Rose was throwing a big party tonight at the Cullens' house and if Edward attended…

I shook my head and stared at my phone again. Fifteen minutes late. I had half a mind to jump into a taxi now.

"Bella?" a voice suddenly called behind me.

I turned around and there stood Edward. My mouth dropped as I realized that he had become more beautiful than the last time I had seen him. The pain in my chest seemed to have lessened, and my eyes were now drinking him in greedily.

"E-edward?" I gasped as my head began to whirl.

He is here. Edward is here. Come on, Bella! Just ask him to leave you alone before you get hurt again.

I shook my head, trying to clear out the muddled thoughts.

"It's me, Bella," he said softly before biting gently on his bottom lip. God, I missed doing that so much…

"I…I don't – "

"Alice had to go somewhere," he said quickly, running his fingers through his hair. He was actually nervous and I marvelled at that fact. I really still had that effect on him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come, but I did just in case you didn't have enough money left to catch a cab."

His eyes were looking at me, and the tears in my eyes began to fall in earnest.

"Bella?" he said in alarm as he wrapped his arms around me. "What's wrong, baby?

I wanted to answer him as I sobbed onto his chest, my head resting against his heart, but I couldn't. The last time he'd asked this question, I'd ended up heartbroken. The last time he'd asked this, I was the one who had left.

"I missed you so much, you know," Edward began as he brushed my hair back. "Every day, all I thought about was you. You were in my mind, consuming all my thoughts. I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I wondered what you were doing every second you were away."

"Why didn't you trust me enough?" I asked after I calmed down and was thinking rationally. "Why didn't you call me, or contact me in any form? I had to ask about you through Rose and Alice. Do you have any idea how upset I was? You weren't talking to me, and you didn't support my decision. I had no idea what you were doing, or if you had moved on. If you have, just tell me now."

"Bella," Edward began in a pained voice, his hand encasing mine tightly. "I'm with you for life. I'm yours, and will be yours forever. You're my everything, Bella."

"I need time," I whispered. "I need time to decide what I'm going to do."

Edward nodded. "Let's get out of here first, okay? The airport isn't exactly the right place to discuss this."

We remained silent as Edward drove us to his house. He helped me carry my luggage, and I muttered a small "thanks" which made my favorite crooked smile appear on his face.

"It's been ages, Bella!" Esme said as she greeted me in the hallway. "How have you been?"

I smiled at her. "I'm great. I've missed all of this."

"College in a week, huh?" Carlisle said as he hugged me tightly. "Charlie doesn't look like he's ready to give up his baby girl yet."

I blushed furiously as Esme led me to the living room.

"SURPRISE!" Emmett boomed as he embraced me tightly. It was always Em's hugs that I had always dreaded. I felt sorry for my ribs.

"Hey, Bells," Charlie grinned at me, as I plopped onto the seat next to him. "How was it?"

I rolled my eyes. Charlie had never been interested in science, but I guess he was excited about me being home. "It was great. My lab partner was a guy named Riley from Chicago, and he was friendly."

"Are you going to go to New Hampshire early to get everything set up?" he asked.

I sighed, and my wandering eyes landed on Edward, who was staring at me like he had never seen me before. "I…I don't know where I'm going to be staying, but I'll probably be bunking with Alice until I sort things out."

I didn't want to mention that the problems were all Edward-related. Charlie didn't need to know what happened during the summer. He was happy now and that was all that mattered to me.

"Bella?" Edward asked. "Can I speak to you for a moment?"

My heart faltered as I stood up. Esme smiled at me encouragingly as Edward led me up to his room. The moment he closed the door, his hands were holding my trembling ones tightly.

"What did you mean back there when you said you were bunking with Alice?" he asked urgently, looking at me with pain evident in his eyes.

"I–I ... I'm not – I don't expect anything from you," I stuttered out. "I don't know what we are now, and it seemed a little foolish to assume that – "

"I want you there with me, Bella," Edward said, squeezing my hands firmly. "I want to make what we had planned come true. It may be selfish to ask, but I want you to move in with me. Don't worry about sorting out anything. If you need anything, just ask me."

"I love you," I blurted out without thinking, but it was the truth.

"I love you, too, and I'm so sorry I acted like such a fucked-up asshole, who seemed to have a stick up his ass. You don't deserve my temper, and I promise you that you'll never see that side of me again," he vowed sincerely. "You're my girl, and if you give me the chance, I'll treat you right, and I swear we'll be happier than we have ever been together."

"I need time to sort out some things," I admitted.

"Okay," Edward replied, kissing my forehead gently. "But I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake twice. I'll do anything I can to earn your trust back."

"I'll hold you to that." I smiled at him and caressed his cheek gently.

"Bella," he whispered, his face inching closer to mine. "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes." I breathed and felt his lips capture mine. The moment his lips touched mine, I felt like my body was on fire. I felt alive, something I hadn't felt in a long time. The kiss was slow and tender; it made me tremble slightly in his arms. I whimpered against his mouth and my lips parted in offering, his tongue sliding against mine. When we broke for air, he held his forehead against mine.

"I love you," I said, hugging him tightly and ridiculously, as more tears came. "I love you so much."

"I love you more," he replied and I felt a tear that wasn't mine fall onto my cheek.

Thanks so much to all the readers, reviewers and betas who have taken their time to read and discuss this.

I'm really busy now with the IB Diploma so I'm offering someone to adopt this story. Just send in a review or PM me and I'll decide.

Just note that the author who adopts this stoy will have to have the following requirement:

- At least one story (one-shots DON'T count)

THANK YOU ALL. I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR THIS JOURNEY YOU HAVE TAKEN WITH ME.

FAQ

- Am I leaving the fandom? No

- Am I going to come back? Maybe

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