Disclaimed

=pRiCe RaNge=

MIKAN

I was so nervous. Was this really me? I stood in front of the mirror. I was wearing a black floor length gown that hugged my body. My hair was in an elegant side bun with a few curls framing my face. I felt like I was showered in glitters by the way I looked. They dyed my hair a little darker which really brought my eyes out. "Ms. Sakura one of your sponsors sent you this as a congratulations." She showed me a silver necklace with a small diamond heart as a pendant. I nodded and she put it on me. "Wow." I said in a whisper. "You look absolutely beautiful Miss." "Thank you." I think I'm ready to walk down that red carpet after an entire day of preparation.

I rode to the premier in a sedan. I was one of those stars that didn't bother having a date to premiers. I was walking down that carpet alone tonight. When the car stopped and the door opened I was nearly blinded by the cameras. The screaming fans sent shivers up my spine. I gave them a wobbly smile and waved. All the people on the carpet looked stunning. "Mikan! We love you!" "Ah! Would you give me an autograph?" "Look at the camera!" I felt so overwhelmed. The smile on my face wouldn't go away. I walked over to the stand where the fans were. I signed a few notebooks and shook hands with some of the fans. Suddenly the screaming maximized a thousand fold and more cameras flashed as a car pulled in. "Natsume! Natsume! Be my husband!" "I love you!" "You're a god!" Natsume just walked on not really caring what people said. He looked at me at that moment. I looked back at the notebook I was signing. "Baka(Stupid)." I said in a breath. "Huh?" A fan said. "Nothing." I smiled then walked away.

I smiled my best and waved to the fans. Natsume and the others were doing the same and soon we were inside the theatre. I heard sniffles behind me during the movie. I had tears in my eyes too."That was me acting." I kept thinking the entire time. The movie ended all too quickly for me. I wiped the remaining tears as everyone applauded.

Natsume bumped into me when I was trying to find my way out. Our eyes locked when he grasped my wrist. To keep me from falling. "Meet me outside." He muttered then left. It took me awhile to get out because people were congratulating me or were tripping me. I felt like a rag when I got out. Someone pulled me to the side. "Natusme wha-"I felt EVERY SINGLE emotion a person could have run through me in a split second. I was looking into those blue eyes again. I wanted to cry to be mad. Instead I said, "Xavier." He pulled me in an embrace. I was too stunned to react. He pulled away but kept his hands on my shoulders. "I've wanted to see you." I felt light headed. "Oh no." I thought. "How have you been Mikan?" His eyes we smiling right at me. I'm falling again someone stop me, please! "I'm f-f-fine. You?" "Better now that I've seen you again." "Xavier you said-" All the memories came flooding in all at once. "I know what I said Mikan. It's different now though." He took my hands in his. No words came to mind. "This isn't the place to talk. What's your number?" He whipped out his mobile and handed it to me. I guess I was out of my mind because I actually put my number in. "I'll call you." He walked away blending in with the masses. I wanted to laugh to cry but I couldn't do anything. "What now?" I gripped a post beside me. I felt like the world was tilting. I felt someone tap my back. "Xav-" I spun around looking at Natsume. "I'll take you home." I gripped his jacket and while he led me to his car.

"I saw him talking to you." "Just drop me off at the nearest Starbucks." I knew that he was deliberately driving slower than his usual speed. I mean a biker rode past us! "I'll just have coffee with you at 11 in the evening then." He countered. "I drink decaf." I muttered. "I don't care! We have to talk." I looked at him. "We have nothing to talk about." Nothing at all. "You might have nothing to say but I do." He said while looking intently at the road. "That's new." He wants to talk? He never even gave me a second glance when I was talking to him during the movie shoot. Now Xavier, he looked the same but more mature. His hair reached his nape which made it curl and his blue innocent eyes became blue depths you could drown in. I shook my head. I don't want to think about him right now.

We got a table inside the cafe. What was I thinking coming here? I was wearing a gown for Pete's sake! Natsume looked unaffected by the fact that he completely stood out. I took a sip of my frap. There was almost no one in the cafe but those who were there kept glancing at us. I heard a few clicks from cameras. This would cause a scandal. Natsume looked right at me. "Fine. We'll go to my house." He grabbed his coat and headed for the door. He knew that I was going to make a fool of myself. Why didn't he stop me? We rode to my house in silence besides me giving directions. I punched in the code and pushed the gate open. When we were standing at my porch my danger instincts went up. I don't want him inside the house. "What do you want to talk about?" I asked placing my hands at my waist. He walked towards me. "I missed you." He said in a hushed tone. Liar. "Don't." I said pushing him away from me. "Mikan, you were the one who let me go. Now I want you back." "What about what I want huh? Did you ever think of that mister-I-want-it-my-way! No you didn't!" I felt angry. I felt my walls going down. "I know what you need." I huffed at what I heard him say. "What I need? Who asked you to butt into my life and tell me what I need? I may not be the smartest person in the world Natsume, but I won't-. I won't get hurt again. " "You're stronger than what you give yourself credit for." "You don't know anything. Not one thing! Just leave me alone okay. Off screen drama is too much for me right now." I walked into my house and locked the door. I wish I could lock my heart that easily.

That jerk, I've got too much on my plate right now and he's just adding to it. I've got to get a grip. I heard Natsume's car leave my drive way. "Finally." Ring... Ring...

"Hello?...Speaking, who's this?...Xavier um-...Tomorrow? Lunch?...They've got good food. Yeah, b-bye."

What did I just do?

.

.

.

Ah! I don't know if I want to cry or shout or be angry or-or... I just don't know. I turned on the water in the bathtub. I need to relax. I got into the tub and closed my eyes. I knew that I was really out of it because I went in the tub still wearing the gown worth five month of groceries. I dipped my head under.

Blue eyes...Brown curly hair...His Sakura... I rushed up for air. Inhale...crimson...passion...his everything...

"This isn't helping." I muttered then took of the heavy, soaked gown. I put on my bathrobe and headed for the kitchen to get a snack. I grabbed the potato chips. "Stress plus food equals unwanted fat." I said, then stared at the bag of chips, then decided to put it back. I went to garden and sat on the swing. My notebook was on the trunk of the tree. I picked it up. "The last entry was three months ago." I checked if the pen attached still had ink. "This will do."

Who

I'm not all that, I will never be

You seem to think too highly of me

Right now I'm just too confused

Too, confused to risk to lose

I'm not all that you've cut out me to be

I wish that you would also see

That I don't know who I meant to be

I wish you would see

I wish you would see that nothing would please me more

Than you entering my heart's door

But who are you may I ask?

I stared up into the sky. Is it just me or are they dim tonight? I closed my eyes and breathed in the chilly air.

I woke up with the sun shining right in my face. My back ached like hell. I got up from the ground. I can't believe I slept in the garden. I flexed my arms and let out a yawn. I heard the kitchen phone ring.

"Hello?" … "-N-n-no. I didn't forget. I- I was just about to heading out. " I completely forgot about lunch with Xavier. I ran to my bedroom snatched a sundress and changed into it and ran out the door locking it behind me. "I forgot my mobile!" I was already late enough so I didn't bother to go back to get it. I bet that I'm a hideous mess right now. I put on my oversized sunglasses and went to the bus stop. Even as a 'star' or whatever I refuse to lose myself, besides I like riding the bus. I just hope that my sunglasses would at least hide me for a while. When I got on the bus there were a lot of empty seats. I sat next to a girl about my age. She seemed so caught up in texting. I smiled at how unconnected she was to everything around her. I wish I could do that, I thought. It was a couple of minutes before I got to my stop. When I got off the bus I was surprised to see that the girl I was sitting beside got off too. She ran up to me. "You forgot your handbag." She handed it to me and looked at me weirdly. "Thanks." I smiled at her. "I know! You're Mikan! The Mikan Sakura!" She looked immediately dumbfounded. I just smiled. No need for any confirmation from me. "I don't have a pen or paper but my phone has a camera. Will you take a picture with me?" "Sure." I took off my shades and smiled. "Well I need to get back to the university. Bye see you in theaters I guess." She headed out. When I turned around Xavier was there looking at me like I did the most awesome thing. "What?" "You haven't changed a bit have you?" I laughed. "Yeah, nothing much changed I'm in America, in theaters and cinemas and as I recently saw on the internet this morning a new fashion icon." He just smiled at me with those blue eyes. "You've achieved a lot, but you haven't changed. Come on lets get something to eat." We went into the restaurant.

"I thought you'd want a taste of home." I breathed in the scent of home made noodles and steaming hot dumplings. "Mmm. I can already taste it." We ordered and when the food arrived I could feel my mouth watering. I took a sip of the broth, delicious. "This is so good. I'm so tired of eating all that sushi. Why does America think that Japanese people only eat sushi?" He laughed. "What have you been up to recently Xavier?" "Nothing much just business, my parents are in Rome establishing a business there. So, right now I'm alone." "Wait when you left me, let me rephrase that. When you left Japan you said that you were going to marry." You said you'd marry and forget me. "Yes, but that never happened because I-, I couldn't." "Couldn't what?" "I couldn't marry anyone besides you." "Xavier please I can't do this right now." I said in Japanese. "But it's all true. I've waited and waited for this to happen, for us to meet again. Now that it has. I need you Mikan." He answered back in Japanese. "Shut up, just shut up. I'm not that good of a person Xavier. Or have you forgotten that you threw me away and left me in Japan without anything to say, without even a proper goodbye." He closed his eyes trying to hold back his own tears. "I couldn't at the time. I couldn't bear to see you then leave. I was a teenager. They told me it would all be better back in the States. But I never forgot you, not for one second in my life." "You could have done something you know. Anything! But you didn't." He grabbed my hand. "I did do something Mikan." "What? What did you do? Expand your parents business? How does that help?" "I was the one who recommended you to the theater you work in now. I'm you're sponsor." I shot up from my seat. "What?" I pulled my hand away. "During high school you were always a person who brought attention to yourself even when you didn't mean to. You were born to be in front of the camera. I was just helping you to excel in it." He smiled at me. "Helping me? You're practically giving everything to me! Xavier this is unfair!" His smile vanished. I felt betrayed all over again. High school, now this. "I thought you left me. I'm not your toy Xavier. I'm not a dog either I'm not up to playing your tricks." I sneered at him. "I doubt that you'd care if you would be paying since I would be using your money anyway." I stood up and left him sitting there. I been thinking that all this time I got into this business because I was good at is. Turns out I got here because of an ex-boyfriend's guilty conscience. I just want to go home.

'I shouldn't have gone home.' I thought when I saw Natsume's car parked in outside my gate. He came out of the car when he saw I was approaching. I thought about turning back and head to where ever. He walked towards me. "Natsume I'm not in the mood for this." I said in Japanese. I walked past him. "Mikan please." Please? I didn't know that Natsume actually knew that word. I opened the door and he let himself in. "Natsume get out." He looked at me like I was out of my mind. "Fine." I went to the kitchen while he followed me. "All I have is tea." "Hn." I put the kettle on. While the water boiled neither of us said a thing. I dropped in the leaves in the kettle. He wasn't saying a word. "I thought you had a lot to say?" I mocked while I bought down my new china from the high cupboard. "I still love you." He said. I only heard the ceramics crash to the floor. I kneeled and picked it up the broken pieces. I gasped. Blood was streaming from my fingers. I just stared at it. Natsume pulled my arm. "where's your bathroom?" I pointed to my bedroom door. He pulled me across the room and into the master bathroom. He ran water on my bleeding hand. "Baka. Are you okay?" He asked. "Why do you ask?" I stared at the running water. He let go of my hand and went towards the bathtub. "Because of this." He pointed to the bathtub overflowing with water and the gown I wore last night still in it. "I'm stressed." I moaned. He massaged my shoulders. I closed my eyes. I said, "I met with Xavier today." His hands stopped. "What about it?" "He told me that he was the one who's sponsoring me." "What's so bad about that?" I was annoyed. "Do you know how much he's 'sponsoring' me every month? 5,000 dollars every month." "Quit." "What?" I exclaimed. "Quit, leave and forget him. Those scripts coming in aren't his doing. People want you in their movies or TV shows and what not. You can even go full time writing."

I turned of the tap and went to my bedroom. Natsume sat in the loveseat and switched on the TV. His sadness flashed in his eyes. "I guess I deserve it. I meant what I said though." He stood up. "I really do love you. You aren't his Sakura anymore he doesn't have a right. Before you leave I hope you give me a chance to win your heart."

After Natsume left I felt a gapping hope in my chest. I went back to the kitchen and swept the broken china. I want to quit it wouldn't have been such a hard decision to make if- if Natsume didn't say what he said. "I want to be your Sakura." I went into my bedroom to get my notebook. It wasn't there. I looked all over the house but I couldn't find it. I wonder where it is?

NATSUME

I was lying in bed and I opened her notebook. I know it was wrong but this is the only way to really know what she's feeling.

My eyes

Never could I imagine

All the things that have happened

Those things that I said

Streaming tears and a throbbing head

Unable to think clearly

Mortified and scary

Everything seems so lonely with out him.

She wrote that the day that I left. I thought as I read the date. There were tear marks on most pages. Where there were no tear marks there were coffee rings. But the most prominent thing in I noticed while reading the notebook was that

She was still definitely as in love with me as I am with her.

The next one's the Epilouge guys! Finally! I love all of you who have been following my imagination with me especially me 'my khaye' xD.