Playing With Fire

Chapter 10 - Leave It All Behind

The couple finally retired back to Zuko's quarters about four or five hours into the morning. Underneath the lone blanket, the two slept for several hours more, still without a single word being said or action being questioned. For the first time in either of their lives, worry had not consumed their minds. After a wonderful night last night filled with rediscovery and a few new discoveries of their own, there was no use in waking up a delighted two. Iroh proceeded on with his duties mindful that they were sleeping, and thus tiptoeing around in the backroom whenever needed and working in the teashop until either awoke. The two showed no signs of waking promptly nor did the signs that they'd want to leave each other's presence become evident either. No, they were perfectly content exactly where they were - together, without worry, all thoughts and plans devised against them now foiled. It was going to be the start of a very good life between the two. Either were so scared of admitting and succumbing to the feelings that they felt for one another; moreover, both were scared, deathly scared, of coming to grips with actually feeling. Neither would say it aloud, but despite all the dangers, all the perils, all the events that had led up to this day, the violence, the threats … none were scarier than the thought of possessing feelings that would leave one vulnerable. The thought that one must surrender all willingness to hold up barriers and let another person was frightening to each of them. Both tried desperately to be as strong as they thought themselves, or as everyone around them thought them to be. Their previous experiences in their childhood hardened their character as well. Not necessarily making them bitter, but making them stubborn in terms of accepting change and actions they had little control over. It was obvious that vulnerability in any form and even in the slightest idea was not praised by either of them. They preferred control; they needed something stable in an unstable life they each individually lived. Now, though, their entire perspective on the matter had changed.

How, though? Both were obviously emotionally wrecked as well unstable as their pasts tell a lot. How could the unification of these two unstable beings create complete stability for each? It wasn't as if they hadn't confessed to their feelings. They allowed themselves to be vulnerable when with each other, and perhaps in that the answer is revealed. Perhaps it is when one is the most vulnerable that one acquires a strength unmatched and never-before experienced. It was in breaking down the walls that a shield was developed. One not necessarily shielding the heart from all feeling, but in offering that same stability they both needed without denying the very involuntary feelings they so greatly obtained but pushed away out of fear. They no longer were afraid of confessing their feelings to one another; it was safe, it was easy, and in a way it was a relief. It was something that both the outcast and the runaway brought to the table that offered each exactly what they wanted. The outcast wanted to be needed, and the runaway didn't want to run away anymore. In a sense both needs and wants were linked, and who knew that they would attain these needs by one of a similar story to theirs? Perhaps it was just the person they were obtaining these wants and needs from. Perhaps it was deeper than that, or perhaps it was simply fate. Very good fate that they would meet each and fall in love while restoring a piece of what their entire being craved. Wouldn't it be easier and happier if that was all it was? Simply fate. Fate that should therefore be accepted with open arms. Let it be that then. Let it be that the outcast and the runaway met because fate was being very good to each of them, and let the story end without any complications or any sorrow right there … right?

Now, what type of story would that be if there wasn't a twist in the end?

Several weeks had passed and Amira and Zuko were never happier. They seemed to glide around the teashop, move swiftly around each other as if both were engaged in a graceful and elegant dance. The atmosphere in the teashop was filled with an extra sense of serenity these weeks that had passed, and the smile on Iroh's face whenever he saw Zuko and Amira together was incredible. Everything was great, every customer was satisfied and every ounce of chi was seemingly flowing smoothly and correctly through the teashop … that was until one dreadful night. The streets seemed to be filling themselves with the rain water that poured down heavily on Ba Sing Se that night. Customers fled to their homes immediately, and Amira, Zuko and Iroh attempted at locking up the teashop and placing buckets under the leaky roof. As Zuko proceeded to close the door against the incoming rain, a voice squeaked up. "Excuse me, sir," the voice stated. Zuko's brow furrowed as he opened the door once more. Who on earth would be - ah, the scroll man. Without any further statements or inquiries, the short, quivering man placed a small scroll in Zuko's hand and fled off down the flooding streets. Iroh dismissed himself to his quarters for the night bowing to each member still in the teashop before heading out. Amira approached a bewildered-looking Zuko who still seemed to have not made a dent in opening the scroll. "Everything alright, Zuko," she asked as she placed one hand on his bicep, looking down at the scroll. Zuko said nothing, and as Amira looked down at the scroll she'd figured out why. Upon the scroll in a fine calligraphy were the words 'Lee and Amira'. Amira's heart pounded against her chest as Zuko slipped the scroll into her hands. Amira looked up at him as if unknowing what exactly she should do with it. Should she indeed open it or would she simply dispose of it?

Zuko looked at her expectantly; he must've assumed she'd opened it. Amira did just that. Unravelling the small scroll in her hands, Amira's heart dropped as in a finer writing the phrase, "You were warned," was plastered in the centre of the scroll without any address. Amira looked up at Zuko whose eyes had already taken note of the discomforting message. They needn't know the address to which the letter had come from. They already figured out the monster who'd hunt perilously after his daughter. The scroll slipped out of Amira's hands as worry and shock overwhelmed her being. Her life was spiralling downward once more; she felt like that cold, shut-away little girl she once was. They were closing in on her; they would have her eventually, and Zuko what would they do with him? Just then, two well-sculpted and secure arms fastened themselves around her in a tight embrace. "Look at me," the raspy voice whispered to her. Amira's tear-filled eyes wandered up to his. "They're not going to-" Amira's lips quivered to a part. "But-but what if they do find me," she whispered as the tears now cascaded down her eyes. Zuko shook his head. "Yes, Zuko, they will! My father, you have no idea what he'd do to get me back and-"

"You have no idea what I'd do to keep you safe," he whispered, his voice raised over hers. A small smile twitched on Amira's face as she buried her face in his chest. For so long her mind hadn't become cluttered with doubt and fear and questions, decisions that she would have to make. Choices that would eventually arise from a situation like this. All thoughts were abandoned by a sudden swoosh of peace that blew through her as Zuko planted his lips on her forehead. "Come on. Let's head off to bed," he motioned. Amira sighed and gave a weak nod, following him to his room where they both crawled into bed and each other's arms under that faithful blanket. Although Zuko had nodded off to sleep almost immediately, Amira was still very much awake. Her mind was swimming with several thoughts about the recent letter. They were obviously going to come back, whether it was just Long and his companion or more than that was unknown but not unlikely. Amira was sure the battle between the two sides would be gruesome, and a life or two would be claimed. Yes, it wasn't a full, all-out battle, but Long was a madman now; he'd do anything to complete his task and finish off his ex fiancé's lover in the process. Zuko! That was her main concern, Both him and his uncle couldn't be harmed or put into anymore danger; this wasn't their battle, and as much as they would like to convince themselves that they were, they simply weren't. Amira would do anything to prevent an injury or the loss of either of them. Her mind was racked with a million possibilities all coming back to one that she had sworn she'd given up but for the right intentions might result to once more.

She'd gathered her things just as quietly and quickly as she'd kissed Zuko one last time. Throwing her cloak around her, she could still hear the violent rain pouring down outside. She knew exactly what she was setting herself up for. Proceeding out into the teashop, Amira quickly scavenged for the order pad, tearing off a piece of paper and scribbling on it immediately. Tears slipped from her eyes and travelled down her cheeks in long, flowing rivers. With every stroke she performed on the piece of paper, she could feel her heart sink lower and lower as realization had settled in.

Dear Zuko,

I'm so sorry, but this was necessary. By now you've probably figured out the point of this letter, and I hope you understand why I'm doing what I've always done. I suppose you could blame it on my character. Perhaps I'm forever a 'runaway', but the reason I'm going on is that I don't want to involve you or your uncle in my mess as I'm sure you wouldn't involve me in yours. It's tragic we've only had a month and a few weeks to spend together when I felt as if you were all I truly needed my entire life. I need you to know, Zuko, that you will forever have an impact on me. You've made me feel wanted; for once in my life, I've never declined running away because I was unhappy. You brought me happiness, Zuko, and it's strange that it took someone with a similar story to mine to bring me everything I needed. I've been debating whether or not our meeting was destiny or fate as I'm fully convinced that both are completely different. I've come to the conclusion that we were to be united by fate, but our destinies were two different instances. I don't know if that's much of an explanation to why I'm leaving or that mends the hurt, but always know that I'll forever take a part of you with me. Where people may have seen a monster, I saw a hero.

Love,

Amira

Giving the note one last glance through her teary eyes, Amira proceeded back into the backroom slipping through Zuko's door and leaving the now folded letter on the side she'd rested on. With her cloak clutched tight to her, she heaved a great sigh and proceeded out the doors of The Jasmine Dragon. The wind and rain stung her face, but with every step she could feel a graver stinging in her chest. She had to do this not for her, but for Zuko, and perhaps that was what made the biggest difference to her. All her life she'd run away because she was unhappy, because she wanted to, but now she would run away and leave it all behind as she usually did because she wanted him to be safe. She was a danger every second she was there, and she needed to leave. As she walked down the slippery road almost out of the city, she took one glance back. She would miss him, yes, but she felt as if he would always be apart of her. The part that was ready to truly be free; the part that had inspired her becoming anew. Turning back toward the road ahead, Amira was no longer afraid of what she'd face. The unknown was just an adventure now, and the safety of Zuko as well as the determination to avoid her father's watchful eyes were her inspiration.

She'd be fine, and Zuko would as well, eventually. Something about an outcast and a runaway so wonderfully connected together forms a beautiful but inevitably disheartening story which was what this story truly was.