Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto

"So what will I be learning today Kyuubi-neko-san-sensei-chan?" Naruto asked. He was currently sitting on a clearing in a forest near the Leaf. He now wore a skin-tight black shirt with an awesome pair of black cargo pants that made him look badass. Seriously if you saw him you'd be like, "Whoa, that's badass."

He had grown stronger, faster, smarter and was able to take down a low-leveled chunin with ease. All in one day!

It turned out that Naruto was a super amazing fast-learning genius that learned all kinds of things in less than an hour. His highly developed 5-year-old body attracted the attention of all the ladies whenever he walked through town.

"Today, kit, I will teach you, kit…" the Kyuubi began before finally speaking, "How to get a girl, kit. I am the Kyuubi, kit, and have had countless of mates even though I haven't been free for more than an hour. Also forget the fact that I'm the only one of my species... kit."

"What about all the other demons you told me about? You've never gotten freaky with any of them?"

"Are you fucking kidding me, kit? Have you seen those things, kit?" the Kyuubi growled, "Who the fuck am I supposed to, well, fuck? The slug? How about the monstrous insect thing? And please do NOT pair me up with the two-tailed cat. I'm in the canine family, we fucking hate cats goddamit!"

Naruto looked at him oddly before clearing his throat, "… sorry I asked."

Chapter 2

Naruto Owns Everyone at School

'This is soooo boring,' Naruto thought to himself as he struggled to keep awake.

He was currently on his classroom, listening to Iruka go on and on about stuff he had already learned in less than a minute thanks to how awesome he was. He looked over his classmates with a bored look on his face.

First he looked at Shikamaru who was sleeping on his desk. Then there was the pink-haired banshee that I fucking hate. FUCK YOU stupid banshee, ARGHHHHH. (Actual descriptions used by other authors).

There was final the stupid emo duckbutt, Saucegay-teme-chan-kun. He was just too emo and probably gay, yeah probably.

"NARUTO PAY ATTENTION TO CLASS!" Iruka screamed on his (totally made up) giant-head no jutsu.

Naruto narrowed his eyes before speaking, "This is just boring. I already know everything. Can't you see I'm based on what someone wished he could be."

"Damn... he's right," Iruka muttered before getting back to teaching.

Hiruzen Sarutobi sat behind his desk with a comically angry face. "Damned paperwork…" he muttered to himself as he watched his greatest enemy. Paperwork is so important that a whole paragraph will talk about it. I'm not freaking kidding you. The Hokage hated paperwork and wanted to burn it. Burnt it with fire!

It had been eight years since Naruto had started his training with the Kyuubi and he had become his most trusted ninja. Hiruzen hadn't cared that Naruto was only six and never got to experience a normal childhood before he instated him as an ANBU, I shit you not. He quickly rose the ranks, disregarding all kinds of obvious limits on a child.

"I have come Hokage-sama," said an Anbu. He was short and wore a fox mask, completely shielding his identity from the world.

"Good for you to come Fox," the Hokage nodded to him while glaring at the paperwork. He took a scroll out of thin air and tossed it to Fox. "As you know, the Academy students will be graduating today. And, thinking that it would be hilarious, you will be put into a team with the Uchiha. We think that he'll be walking down the wrong path and, instead of keeping him from becoming a ninja (a.k.a. the obvious choice), you have to watch over him."

"I have to work with those brats?" Fox whined. "Can't you see I'm way too awesome and perfect to do a thing like that?"

The Hokage nodded. "You are indeed cool but this is necessary," he said while inhaling the contents of the pipe he had lit while Fox was talking.

Fox let out a sigh before removing his mask and (gasp) revealing the Anbu to be Naruto. "I'll do it Hokage-sama. And I'll act like a smartass for the hell of it," he declared before leaving the room.

Once he was gone Hiruzen turned to the window as a silver-headed ninja peeked into the room, "I suppose you heard all of that, Kakashi."

Kakashi walked into the room while reading a book as an obvious sign of disrespect. "Sorry I came so late, (insert lame overused excuse)," he continued to read his book before speaking, "Do you think it'll be as hilarious as we thought. Putting Fox on my team I mean."

"Of course," Hiruzen said, "Remember to have a girl on the team for all kinds of tension and drama."

Kakashi chuckled, "You didn't even need to tell me."

Naruto sighed while standing in front of his old classroom's door. Today was the graduating exam and he needed to be here as to not raise any suspicion. A student joining the class and passing the graduation exam in one day was pretty normal apparently.

He walked into the classroom to see his old teacher yelling at his students, "PAY ATTENTION!"

"I'm too good for this class and everything else," stupid duckbutt saucegay-teme-chan-kun growled from where he sat.

"I'M INCAPABLE OF TALKING IN A NORMAL VOICE!" the banshee screeched from another sit.

Shikamaru was snoring as always with Choji eating a bag of chips next to him. A few seats down Hinata had fainted upon seeing smexy Naruto walk into class.

"Naruto?" Iruka said in disbelief upon seeing Naruto.

"I'm here to kick ass and take a test. And I'm all out of ass," Naruto stated as he took a seat.

"I COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING. ARGHHHHHHHHH!" Sakura screeched.

Sasuke glared at Naruto, 'How dare he sit down! I will take my revenge on him. Damn you Naruto…'

Mizuki stood to the side with a frown on his face, 'So the demon is back… and just in time for me to persuade him to take a heavily protected treasure of this village. Man do I love being an asshole.'

Naruto drifted in and out as Iruka continued with the last instructions for the test. Bored, he decided to talk to the Kyuubi since they were now best of pals, 'Kyuubi are you there?'

'I can hear you kit. Can you see the man plotting something against you kit?'

'Yeah, what about him?'

'Find out what he wants, kit, and take him down kit. It would be wise to take out a potential enemy, kit."

'Good idea. I'm glad you know so much of how the ninja world works.'

"Naruto it's your turn next," Iruka called, snapping Naruto out of his thoughts. He walked to the front of the classroom before receiving further instructions, "Naruto, I want you to make a clone."

"Got it," Naruto smirked before using his favorite jutsu. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" three solid clones appeared at Naruto's side.

"A shadow clone, I'm shocked," Iruka said in shock.

'Revenge?' Sasuke thought.

"I JUST KEEP ON YELLING!" the fucking stupid bitch banshee screamed.

Mizuki frowned before walking towards Iruka. "He cheated," he decided, "We asked him to make a clone but he made three. And they weren't normal clones, he used a more complicated variation. He shouldn't pass."

"You're right," Iruka agreed with a smile before turning to Naruto, "You fail Naruto."

"Oh shit,' Naruto thought, 'The Hokage won't like this.'

"I don't like this…" Hiruzen muttered with clenched fists.

End of Chapter 2

Well that's the chapter for now. From now on I'll cut down Sasuke's name. Seriously, it got hard to write teme-chan-kun, and the joke is getting old. I guess I'll just look for some other thing people call him.