Hi guys. I'm really sorry about the slow update. I've had a really busy week and a half. My best friend was very ill and had to be admitted into hospital so I've spent a lot of time looking after her.

Now, I know a lot of you will hate what I'm doing to Artemis - don't worry, I do too - but it all ends well, I assure you.

But anyway, thanks to all my wonderful reviewers and here's chapter three of The Wedding Documents. Hope you enjoy it. :D

Chapter Three

The Wrong Engagement

It took a few seconds for the absurdity of this question to sink in. Artemis coughed in surprise before speaking up.

"Excuse me?"

Holly winced. Perhaps she hadn't gone about this in the right way. "Artemis, I need to marry you."

"Marry me?" questioned Artemis, dumbfounded. "Marry me? Holly, what on Earth are you going on about? Is this some kind of pathetic joke you and Foaly have cooked up for your fairy friends amusement? Because if it is, I can guarantee that this is not funny."

Holly had to disagree on that one. If this had been a joke it would have been extremely funny and would probably have been broadcast on every television underground before lights out. But this was not a joke, and was certainly not a laughing matter.

Artemis had not raised his voice throughout his questions, although Holly could see that there was a battle taking place in his head. Artemis had never been good with emotional problems in life and the thought of marriage must have been a big step for him. After all, he had thought Holly had just popped around to say hello, not to actually pop the question.

Then Holly realised that she hadn't explained why she needed to marry him. Mentally chiding herself for having the mental capacity of a goblin at that moment in time, she began to explain herself.

"Artemis, do you remember me telling you about Chix Verbal's murder a few weeks ago?"

Artemis nodded slowly. "I vaguely remember you mentioning it, yes. Something about a hooded figure?"

"Yes, well," Holly continued hoarsely. "I've been charged with his murder, you see, and have been sentenced to a life sentence in Howler's Peak. And that's the goblin prison. Anyway, the only way for me to clear my name is to marry a saviour of Haven, and, well... you are one. And there are no rules saying that I can't marry you. You saved Haven and therefore you can save me from this." She breathed. She was going to have to beg. "Artemis, please. You know I would never kill anyone unless I had police orders to do so. I only have a month to get married and you're the only chance I've got."

A long silence followed Holly's speech. Artemis appeared to have switched off and Holly was tempted to prompt him to reply, but he came to life.

"How long is a life sentence in Haven?" he queried.

"Around seven hundred years." Holly watched his face carefully.

Artemis massaged his temples, deep in thought. "Holly," he whispered. "You have no idea how much you are asking of me."

Holly felt tears of defeat spring to her eyes, but she quickly blinked them back. She had already begged, and she was definately not going to cry. "Artemis, I'm sorry, but - "

"Holly," interrupted Artemis. "I'm not saying I wouldn't do it. It would do anything for you. I'm just saying that I can't."

Holly eyed him, dread building up inside of her. "What do you mean can't?"

Artemis sighed. "I should have told you this earlier, but I didn't get around to it." For once in his life Artemis Fowl seemed to be struggling to find the words. "You see, I'm already engaged to be married."

Holly blinked. "Engaged? You?"

"Yes, me," replied Artemis, who seemed rather hurt that the suggestion should appear so appalling to her. "We're getting married next year."

Who's we?" Holly asked. "Oh, no. Don't tell me. Minerva Paradizo?"

Artemis gazed coolly into her eyes, his expression emotionless. "Yes," he said simply.

Holly had not seen Minerva since the incident with the demons, but what she had seen then, she had not liked in the slightest. She knew that she and Artemis had become good friends, but she had never thought it would come to this. Many emotions were bubbling up inside of her. Anger, sadness and perhaps... could it be ... a little bit of jealousy? Holly shook her head. No, of course she wasn't jealous, but was Artemis really ready for a commitment like this? He was, after all, only physically nineteen years old and the boy had never been good with emotions anyway. Holly decided to ask him.

"Er, congratulations," she said slowly. "But, Artemis, can I ask you something?"

Artemis nodded.

"Do you... do you love her? Do you really, truly love her, enough to spend the rest of your life with her?"

There was yet another long silence before Artemis stated, "Yes. Yes, I do."

Holly didn't know whether to believe him or not.

"Besides," Artemis exclaimed suddenly. "Why does it matter to you? You want me to spend the rest of my life with you and we're certainly not in love."

Holly was shocked by the boy's words. He had made it sound as though they loathed each other. She then realised, for the second time that day, that she had missed out a vital part of the plan.

"No, Artemis. I forgot to mention something. Foaly can stop the information that we are a married couple from ever reaching the ground. You'll be free to marry Minerva and I'll only be married until..." She trailed off, unable to complete the sentence.

"Until the day I die," Artemis finished for her.

Holly nodded.

Artemis considered it for a minute. "OK," he agreed finally. "Alright, I'll do it. But you must never mention it to anyone."

Holly smiled broadly, as a huge feeling of relief was released inside of her. "Thank you, Artemis. You have no idea how much this means to me." She hugged him briefly, something she very rarely did, and then began to get down to business. "I'll get in touch with Foaly right now."

There was a knock at the door and Butler's voice came through the wood. "Artemis, you have a visitor." The door handle turned and with a click the door swung open.

Artemis's manservant stood in the doorway and he smiled when he spotted Holly. "Hello, Captain. I assume you've heard the good news."

Holly looked up at Butler uncomfortably. "Yes, I've heard. It's fantastic news."

Butler turned to look at his charge. "I know. I never thought the day would come."

Artemis obviously didn't feel like talking after his conversation with Holly and was quick to avoid Butler's glance. "Who is this visitor, Butler?"

"Well," said Butler, grinning, "it's rather convenient, because now you get to introduce Holly to your bride to be."

Artemis's eyes widened slightly. "Minerva? Minerva's here? But she wasn't supposed to arrive until next week. I can't see her like this." He gestured down at his clothes, which consisted of his usual suit and tie. Holly saw no difference from what he usually looked like. She supposed that the insecurity must have been the hormones acting up again. He obviously hadn't quite out grown them yet.

"You look fine, Artemis," she encouraged quietly, still not sure how she was supposed to deal with this situation. "Very handsome."

"Was that sarcastic?" Artemis asked in a half friendly, half worried manner.

"Not really," replied Holly with a teasing grin. "You go and greet your bride to be as Butler said. I'll stay here."

"Oh no," interupted Butler immediately. "Artemis, you must take Holly with you. I'm sure she'd love to see Minerva again."

Holly held her tongue as she considered how badly the manservant had assessed the matter. "Yes," she breathed. "Love to."

Artemis breathed out through his nose. "Very well." He opened the door and held it. "Holly, after you."

Artemis's heart was racing as he strode down the corridor towards the front entrance, where Minerva was waiting for him. Holly was close behind his heels, but she remained silent. He knew deep down that this was the last place she wished to be right now, especially after the awkwardness of proposing to him.

He desperately thought of how to introduce the two, but full sentences wouldn't come. There were too many things going on in his head. How were he and Holly going to get married? What would Minerva say if she found out? And what about his parents? True, they were on holiday with the twins for two weeks and he and Holly could get married in that time and never announce it, but what would happen in the freak incident of them finding out? His mind in turmoil, he began to descend the staircase leading to the main entrance.

Minerva stood waiting for him. She wore her long, blonde hair down and her blue eyes sparkled. She smiled widely as she saw him approach.

"Artemis," she called, in her strong French accent. "It's so good to see you."

As Artemis walked towards her he cleared his throat nervously, slightly embarressed that Holly was there to witness him with a girl. "It's good to see you too."

She hugged him tightly and he returned it, before breaking away to reveal Holly, who had found a non-existent piece of dust on the floor rather interesting.

"Minerva, this is Captain Holly Short. The two of you met before many years ago and she arrived recently as there is some work that needs to be completed and she requires my help. Holly, this is Minerva Paradizo."

Holly hadn't felt this uncomfortable in a long time. It was strange to see Artemis willingly hug someone. It wasn't something one saw everyday. He had barely hugged her earlier when he had agreed to Foaly's absurd plan.

She listened to Artemis's introduction and tore her eyes away from the floor. She eyed the human girl before her, in the way that every woman does to another. She noticed Minerva doing the same to her. She was tall and slim, and granted, very beautiful. Any man would die to be with a woman like her, yet Holly wasn't impressed. She didn't know whether it was just her brain deliberately trying to pick up faults in the girl, but everything about her seemed to be fake.

"It's very nice to see you again, Captain."

Holly smiled bittersweetly as she spotted the overly expensive engagement ring she was balancing on her finger. "You too."

Butler emerged at the top of the stairs and hurried down them. "Minerva, let me take your bags up to your room. Artemis, why don't you help me?"

Both Artemis and Holly knew that this was Butler's way of getting Holly and Minerva alone together to chat, though Artemis seemed very glad to be given the chance to escape from the room, and quickly began to gather up Minerva's things.

"Yes, very good idea, Butler. We won't be long."

Holly watched as the two of them carried the bags and suitcases up the stairs and rounded the corner. She slowly turned to face the girl, wishing with all her might, that she could be anywhere but here.

Minerva grinned at her. "I'm so lucky to have met Artemis. He's so lovely."

"Yes," agreed Holly, mimicking Minerva's sweet voice, but adding sarcasm. "He's just splendid."

Minerva realised that the elf was making fun of her and made a feeble attempt to get her back. She sighed heavily. "I suppose now that you're here, Artemis and I will have to speak in English all the time or you won't be able understand. It does give me a headache."

Holly snarled. "As a matter of fact," she said in fluent French, "if you spoke French I would understand your every word. Elves speak every language under the sun, dead and alive. I would have thought you of all people to have known that, seeing as you spent many years studying the demons. Or perhaps you are not as clever as you make yourself out to be."

Minerva knew she had been defeated and was slightly shocked, but she made yet another, desperate attempt to get the better of Holly. She held up her left hand and spread out her fingers, gazing lovingly at the ring that sparkled on her third finger. "He is so good to me. This cost nearly as much as my manor in France. I couldn't ask him for anything more."

"Minerva." Artemis was walking quickly towards them, having finished his duties, and stopped the converstion between them before Holly had the chance to reply. "Minerva, now I'm sure Holly doesn't want to see what I've brought for you at the moment. Maybe another time."

"Yes." Minerva hadn't taken her eyes off Holly. "Yes, maybe another time."

Holly stared dangers at her and put on the fake, sweet voice for a second time. "Oh, I'd be delighted. I just can't wait."

Artemis decided to stop the two females before the catfight got out of control. He smoothly stepped in between them, blocking each other's view from one another. "Why don't you make yourself at home, Minerva? Butler will show you to your room. I have some important business to finish with Holly."

Minerva frowned and wrapped her arms around his neck. Holly looked away pointedly. "Don't be long, Arty. I haven't seen you for a month and you're always working. I just want to spend some time with you."

He smiled gently. "I'll be as quick as I can. I promise."

She giggled and kissed him on the cheek, before making her way up to her bedroom. As soon as she was out of earshot Holly pounced on the opportunity to humiliate Artemis.

"Well, well, well," she said slyly from behind Artemis's back. He spun around, dreading what she was going to say. "I never thought I'd see the day when Artemis Fowl got pushed around by a woman."

All Artemis could do was blush.

So, what do you think? There are lots of things I tried to do in this chapter. I wanted the awkwardness of Holly's proposal and the meeting of Minerva. I wanted Artemis to be nervous around Minerva, and all together not himself because I think Minerva is completely wrong for Arty. I made Minerva a bit OOC, but that is only because I hate her so much. I think she whines too much so tried to put an element of that in. I wanted her to seem as fake as possible!! And I also wanted there to be an instant hate and almost jealousy between the two girls. Do you think I did it? Please review. Thanks for reading!