The Start of Our Lives
Summary: After a drunken one night stand, bushy-haired bookworm Hermione Granger finds out that she is pregnant to none other than Master of Apathy Draco Malfoy. They begin their lives as teenage parents and learn to live together and maybe even eventually fall in love? Read & Review.
A/N: Hey guys, sorry I really didn't like this chapter so I've added a bit to make it better and longer. And I've fixed the spelling mistakes.
Chapter Fifteen: I'd Love to Leave You Alone but I Can't Let you Go
~Life is a stranger who won't go away~
Ravishing. That was the only appropriate word he could think of to describe her. Magical. That was the only word he could think of to describe the experience they had just shared with each other. She was so peaceful, she looked just like an angel with her hair all over the pillow, her chest rising to the steady rhythmn of her heart, her silk white dress that she slept in uncreased because she didn't move at all, her mouth slightly open so that her soft even breathing could be heard. She was perfect. And she was his.
His eyes slowly travelled to the large bump that was covered by the blankets. A gentle tugging pulled at his heartstrings every time he thought of it- that was his baby in there. Even after all this, he still couldn't believe that this was happening. Twelve more weeks, he told himself. It seemed like such a long time away but he knew how fast the time would go. His daughter would be here in no time. He couldn't wait to hold her, see her tiny perfect face. He wanted her to look just like her mother- he didn't think he could bare it if his daughter resembled anything like her paternal grandfather.
Hermione's breathing suddenly hitched in her throat and her eyes fluttered open. As she gathered up her thoughts, she rubbed her eyes and looked around the room. Her eyes landed on Draco- and thoughts of the previous night came rushing back.
"Hi," she whispered. A slow smile spread across his face.
"Hi," he murmured back.
She smiled back at him as she remembered just how thrilling last night had been. She didn't think that it was possible to love someone as much as she loved Draco.
"I love you."
No matter how many times he said it, her heart always fluttered like crazy like it was the first time she hearing it. He was amazing.
"I love you too."
He leaned over to softly press his lips to hers. "How's Sunshine?" He had gotten used to the nickname that she had given to the baby so much that he actually wouldn't mind naming her that.
Immediately Hermione's emotions changed to one of elatedness to that thick feeling in her throat that meant that she was about to cry. "Um, sh-she's fine." She ran her hand over her stomach as once again she reminded herself of how stupid she was to leave the adoption process too late.
"She better be or you're gunna have me to answer to missy," Draco said playfully, kissing Hermione's bare shoulder. She knew that he wasn't trying to hurt her as he had no idea about the adoption but she wished that he would stop mentioning Sunshine.
"Ok, I have the perfect idea." Draco sat up and opened up one of the bedside table drawers and pulled on a pair of socks. "How about I make you breakfast in bed?"
Hermione looked over at the enchanted clock on her own bedside table. "Draco it's Monday morning. We have class to attend."
"It's 7 o'clock and Transfiguration isn't until 9. We have plenty of time. Now just relax and I'll whip you up some French toast and whatnots."
Hermione giggled as he bowed so low that his nose almost touched the floor. "Charming as always Mr. Malfoy," she smirked as he saluted her and left the room.
"Do you want pumpkin juice or butterbeer?" He called out from the kitchen as he prepared her toast from scratch.
"Pumpkin juice please!" She answered. She settled back into the covers and stroked her stomach. Twelve more weeks and you're here Sunshine. That thought scared her more than anything else. There was so much that needed to get done in the next couple of months. She needed to find a suitable loving couple with a stable home that had enough to provide for her daughter, she needed to survive Draco's reaction to her announcing the adoption and she needed to get her parents back into her life.
"Smells good, hon," she shouted, getting slightly impatient as the delicious smell wafted through the room.
She waited for his reply but it never came. She figured that he hadn't heard her so she nestled back into the pillows and tried to ignore the low rumbles coming from her stomach.
"Draco, are you done yet?" She called out a few minutes later. Again, no reply came. Grumbling, she lifted the covers off herself and shuffled over to the edge of the bed. Stuffing her feet into her slippers and wrapping her red silk gown around her, she hobbled into the kitchen where the smell of burning bread greeted her.
"Draco, what the hell are you just standing there for?" She yelled frantically. He was standing in the middle of the kitchen with his back to her, his head lowered as if he was staring at the ground. "Draco? Are you okay?"
Instead of answering, he slowly turned around. Hermione couldn't understand why he wasn't talking but she became aware when he held up a bunch of papers in his trembling hand. A small gasp escaped her as one hand flew up to cover her mouth and the other went to rest on the middle of her stomach. He had found the adoption papers.
"What the hell is this?" He seethed through clenched teeth. A million different thoughts rushed through Hermione's head- was he going to kill her? Would he leave her? Would he support her decision? Why did he look so scary all of a sudden?
"Um..." she faltered. Words failed her. What was she supposed to say?
"Hermione." The way that he said her name made tears come to her eyes- loathing. That's what it sounded like. "What the fuck is this."
Her first instinct was to take a step back. She realized then just how tall he- he suddenly looked as intimidating as her father often looked when she brought home anything less than an A plus grade. As long as Draco didn't pick up a glass bottle and throw it at her then she figured that she would be safe.
"Hermione," he repeated, the same poison in his voice. "I will ask you one more time- WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS THIS?"
Tears started to flow from her eyes as he screamed the last question. She forgot all about her dignity as she held her hands up to shield her face.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She screeched as he advanced towards her. Her sudden outburst made him stop in his tracks as she fell to her knees, sobbing. "Please Daddy don't hurt me!"
A look of confusion replaced his previous expression of fury. "What? Hermione, I'm Draco."
She didn't seem to hear him as she continued to lie on the floor like a broken doll, heavy sobs wracking her entire body. "I can't do this anymore," she repeated over and over again. Draco wanted to scoop her up in his arms and hold her, protect her from the monsters that she was seeing in her mind but the papers in his hand reminded him that she was the monster.
"Hermione. Stop with the crying and please tell me what this is." He used a quiet tone as not to scare her anymore but it was no use- it seemed like she would never stop. So Draco sat down cross legged on the floor beside her and read through the papers, getting angrier with each passing second. He was on his feet in one smooth motion. He whipped the papers to the ground, grabbed the nearest thing he could get his hands on and threw it with all his might across the room. The sound of shattering glass finally got her attention.
Draco stared down at her, unshed tears in his eyes. He offered a hand to her and helped her up. He couldn't get angry at her- stress wasn't good for the baby. But, a snide voice laughed in the back of his mind, she doesn't want it to be your baby anymore. She never wanted it to be your baby to begin with.
Yanking his hand away from hers, he walked over to the lounge and sat down heavily on it. Hermione didn't accompany him but merely stood a metre away, biting her bottom lip, her hands caressing her stomach.
"When were you going to tell me?" He whispered, not taking his eyes off her bump. Hermione sighed and shook her head.
"I've been thinking about this for a while now."
"But when were you going to tell me?"
"Please," she said in a choked voice as tears started to fall again. "Let me explain."
He didn't see how she was going to worm her way out of this one. This was way out of line. But despite how much he wanted to slap her, her armour had clearly cracked. What he really wanted to know was why the hell had she called him "Daddy"? It hurt to think that word now- he wasn't going to be one because Hermione wanted to give his baby away. He refused to let himself think their baby now.
"I-" Her voice faltered. She wasn't sure that her explanation would be good enough for him. But he had the right to know the truth, no matter how much she was ashamed of it. "I did it because of several reasons."
"Care to count them?" He said tonelessly.
"You know how much I care about my grades. I need a good job to support myself and Sunshine and the only way that I can get that is if I have my N.E. up to scratch. We have O. at the end of the years and there is no way I can do it when I'll be almost ready to give birth. I'll fail for sure!"
Draco wanted to throttle her. She cared about her grades more than she cared about her own baby? He felt violated all of a sudden. But before he could contemplate whether he should keep his anger in or smash something, she continued talking.
"How the hell are we supposed to provide for a baby when we don't have any money? There is so much that we need to give her but we can't. I can't neglect her because we don't have anything to provide for her. I don't want anyone else touching my baby when I'm in class for most of the day. Besides, I'm not gonna have any time to study. The baby will need me and..." Tears reflected in her dark eyes. "As much as I love her, I know that this is the right thing to do. We can't look after all. We just can't. I don't trust myself. I'm not going to be a good mother."
Hermione couldn't bring herself to tell Draco the real reason- that she was afraid he was going to be scared of the responsibility and leave her in the dust. That she was terrified her daughter wouldn't have a father. She didn't have a father growing up- technically she did but he never cared about her, only about her grades. She already knew that he would deny it, tell her that she was an idiot and make her feel even worse. She was going to keep that one to herself.
Draco looked at the heartbroken girl from his place on the lounge. He was in love for her, that much he knew. And he loved the baby too. But he soon understood that Hermione was right; they were too young to raise a baby all by themselves. They were still in school, a boarding school at that where there were no day care facilities to help them. He didn't trust anyone else to look after his daughter while he was in class; he wouldn't be able to concentrate, his grades would go further down and he wouldn't be able to get a half-decent job to support Hermione and the baby. He had no idea even how to hold a baby. He had never been around one in his life.
"Hermione," he began hesitantly. "You have to give yourself some credit. You are a wonderful, caring person. Of course you're going to be a good mother. Everyone has their doubts when they're new parents but that's no reason to just give up altogether."
"Yes, it is!" She yelled. "I don't want Sunshine seeing me as a failure! I'm a teenager and I'm pregnant. I'm a Prefect but no one looks up to me because I'm a disgrace to society! Everybody hates me because I'm a slut. And don't say that I'm not because I am and I know it! How can anyone respect me when I have no respect for myself? I don't want my daughter to be looked down upon because of disappoint that her mother is! So just...just...sign the damn papers! I can't do this anymore! I never wanted this in the first place!"
Draco cautiously took a step forward, remembering that stress could make Hermione go into pre-mature labour. "Ok, ok! Calm down Hermione! I'll..." He looked at the papers he had tossed to the ground in his previous conviction of fury. Heart beating furiously as Hermione clutched at her stomach, he slowly held the papers up so that she could see them. "I'll sign them just calm down! Think of the baby, please!"
That did it. Hermione's red cheeks immediately turned colourless as she realized what he had just said. "You...You'll do it?"
He nodded his head, hating himself for agreeing as a big smile of relief spread across her face. There was no way that he was going to do it just yet. He needed more time to think before he decided that it was the right option. His daughter was the only chance he had at having a real family. And he wasn't about to let her go.
Not just yet anyway.
"Thank you Draco," she whispered her voice all thick and cracked. He nodded swiftly and walked towards the portrait hole- he needed some fresh air and some time to think. As always he ignored the two giggling ladies that guarded the entrance to where he and Hermione resided and took his time walking down all the flights of stairs to get outside. He figured that he would sit beside the glassy black lake on the soft green grass, maybe tickle the Giant Squid for a few minutes, anything to get his mind off of this. Half an hour ago he was elated- he had everything he could ever have possibly wanted. Now it was all being threatened to be wrenched away from him before he even got it.
He stepped into the Entrance Courtyard and looked around. The fountains, the gargoyles, the uneven stone pavements were empty. All the kids were in class. He didn't mind truanting; he did it whenever he needed time to think. Besides, it was only Transfiguration. Like that was important anyway.
He smelled smoke by the time he was on the covered bridge. Wrinkling his nose, he stepped past the stone henges and made his way down to the source of the fire. Rounding the corner, he found that it wasn't a mighty blaze tearing down the Forbidden Forest- that would've definitely taken his mind off things- but rather it was coming from Hagrid's hut.
Draco sighed. The lengths that he was going to. At this rate, he may as well start living on the streets off a Muggle salary. Hardly daring believe that he wanted to, Draco dragged himself towards the giant's cabin and knocked timidly on the door. It swung upon almost immediately.
"Bin wonderin' when yeh'd come to visit," he heard a booming voice say above him. "Oh. Malfoy? Sorry, I thought yeh were Harry."
Draco shrugged. "You would've. Can-can I come inside?"
Hagrid rose his black bushy eyebrows in shock. But he was a polite person so he stepped aside to let Draco through.
Draco couldn't believe that he was standing inside this shack. How could anybody lived in it? That's what he would've thought before Hermione- no the baby- changed him into a better person. Now he was thinking that it was rather cosy and warm and it felt more like a home than the Malfoy Manor ever did.
Hagrid bustled around the small kitchen, fixing up some snacks for Draco without asking if he wanted any. Draco took the opportunity to climb into one of the enormous armchairs- though his legs barely touched the ground, he found it rather comfortable. Hagrid turned around and handed Draco a plate of what looked like rocks and a steaming mug of tea. Draco was a bit wary- he wasn't sure if Hagrid could cook at all but he took a sip of the tea anyway. Too much sugar but it would too. He refused to touch the rock cakes.
"So I've gotta say I'm a little surprised you dropped by," Hagrid said earnestly as he sat down heavily in the armchair across from Draco.
"So am I, to be honest."
Hagrid's crinkled face broke into a small smile that Draco could detect under the bushy beard. "Anythin' you wan' to talk abou'?"
Before Draco could stop himself, he was pouring his heart out to the man that he had tried to get fired, the man that he had always made fun of, the man that he had made cry when he almost had his beloved pet Hippogriff Buckbeak executed. At that point in time, Draco didn't care that he hated Hagrid. Hermione- the baby, he reminded himself furiously- had taught him that blood or being a half-giant didn't matter, as long as he had his baby.
"-And she wants to give the baby up for adoption but I just can't let her do it but she's so stressed out about it that I said yes because I'm worried that she'll lose the baby or something horrible because of the pressure and as much as I don't want to give the baby up I think that she's right, I don't know anything about raising a child and I don't know where she would stay during class and it sounds so wrong but I think that it might be right but I don't want it to be right and I-"
"Draco, please. Shut up."
Hagrid looked warily at the blonde-haired teenage boy. "Draco there's only one thin' that needs to get done. Yeh need to tell Hermione how yeh feel otherwise yeh gunna be left with a broken heart tha' will never heal. A girl comes and goes but tha' baby is yours Draco. If yeh don' wanna let her go then don't. Hermione's in a rough place at the momen' and she doesn't know how teh deal with it. She needs you. And you need her."
Draco couldn't believe that he was actually agreeing with something that the man he had previously dubbed an 'oaf'. In just ten minutes, Hagrid suddenly became a mentor, a person who could be trusted and who wouldn't laugh in his face. Spilling his guts to Hagrid seemed to take a giant weight off his chest. He was right. He needed to fight to get what he wanted. He couldn't give in.
Hagrid waved him off with another plate of rock cakes (Draco had pretended to eat them but had actually hidden them in the pockets of his robes). Weighed down by the cakes, he tried to hurry as fast as he could up the hill back to Hogwarts so he could ditch the plate and uneaten cakes in the trees where no one could see them. Running back through the bridge, he sprinted into the Clock Tower Courtyard, raced through the open doors and up into the third floor corridor. Feet pounding hard on the ground, his adrenaline rushing. He needed to get to Hermione. She was four floors above him. He needed to convince her that it was a bad idea, that she could be a good mother. And if he couldn't convince her alone, then he needed to recruit her friends to help him. He was sure that Potty, Weaselbee and Weaselbee Jr would persuade her into keeping Sunshine.
He rushed up a staircase, rounded a corridor and smacked straight into Ginny Weasley. They both fell over backwards on the cold hard ground. Wincing, Draco got to his feet rubbing his back.
"Do watch where you going Weaslette," he growled, annoyed that she had wasted his time. Time was precious, he now realized and he needed to spend that time with Hermione and their baby. Instead of offering back a sarcastic reply, Ginny broke down into sobs.
"Oh, God I-I didn't mean to upset you!" Draco frantically dropped to the ground beside the crying redhead and nervously patted her on the shoulder. He couldn't deal with emotional people as he had never really been confronted by too many affecting issues before.
"Oh Draco, thank goodness I found you!" She wailed. "I've been looking everywhere for you."
"What's wrong?" His throat felt like sandpaper and he started to shake. "Is it Hermione? Tell me!" He shook her fiercely but not fierce enough to hurt her. Ginny nodded her head as tears continued streamed down her cheeks.
"Yes, it is Hermione," she gasped for breath. Draco felt as though his whole world had broken into a million different pieces. He had left her in such a fragile state and if anything had happened to her when he wasn't there for her...he didn't think he could ever forgive himself.
"What about Hermione?" He asked through gritted teeth, trying to keep himself composed.
Ginny covered her mouth with her hand to try and get herself to stop crying so hard.
"Harry came by to visit Hermione this morning. She didn't answer the door but those girls in the portrait let him in. He said that he found her in the kitchen screaming. Something about pains and-"
"Contractions." Draco breathed. No, it couldn't be. It was too soon.
"Yes, those. Harry took her to the Hospital Wing. Hermione's in labour."
a/n: Oh hey guys. Just wanted to say that y'all are spicy firecrackers and I like lamps. That is all.
Oh, and review.