hello...today is christmas eve...and i am depressed for-...reasons... so heres your frickin chapter :/

JK!...just read it...that im serious about...

We got the TV, and now, its always on…I couldn't stand to accidentally miss something victor is in. I remember I only got a glimpse of him in his outfit. It was a gear outfit, as usual, but I stared as if he was wearing a speedo. I have heard of district four people wearing that. I got a glimpse of theirs as well, they did infact wear a small piece of fabric over themselves. Luckily they both had good bodies for it, the guy actually made me gape, and the girl kept making slutty poses that made me want to barf. I had to admit it though, she was really pretty. Guys would probably use another word you know, but I'm not weird.

"gizz?" I turned to him, and saw that his eyes were open REALLY wide, and his mouth hung open widely, "gizz!" i started to snap my fingers irritatedlly in his face, "GIZZ!" he snapped out of it, and turned to me with a weird expression. That just shows you that boys…are different than girls.

I heard that the stylist for three is retiring next year, usually they go until they are in their "elderly" state, even though they buy enough surgeries and implants to make them look twenty. So maybe district three will finally get some good looks in a few years.

Tonight was the training score showing, it turns out that this year has some real competition. The tributes from 1 and 2 both got 10 and above. When autumn came up, I held my breath. She got a seven! Not that bad after all! Next was victor, gizz looked away in suspense, I held my breath once more and stared at his rotating picture on the screen. A ten popped up next to his name, and I squealed in delight, jumping up from the couch and running around the room.

"yes! GO VICTOR! He got a TEN! Yes! He is a threat!" gizz was watching me with a small smile, laughing to himself.

"why so excited sis?" I jumped up and down, staring at the screen as his face disappeared into the hot girl from district 4.

"why am I so excited! He got a ten!" I jabbed a finger at him-" he is a threat now! He has a chance! He has to come home, he just has to!"

"why? Why do you want him back so badly," my joy started to simmer down a little, and now hurt was moving in. why would he ask that? Doesn't he think I deserve a little bit of friendship? A little bit of joy? Maybe just a tiny taste of love?

"Gizz… he is my only friend…and I only knew him personally for about a day…he admitted his love for me over live television, and even if I don't love him back right away, I want him to come home so we can figure this out… and who doesn't want their tribute to come back…" I sat on the opposite side of the couch, closing the conversation with a reasonable answer.

"fine then," did I just sense stubbornness? He really has the nerve to do that to me when I lost my friend I just made.

"Gizz…you-…did something happen your not telling me about?" he looked at me warily, his eyes glowing with regret and awkwardness.

"yeah," an exasperated bellow sounded from his usually quiet mouth. He stood up out of impatience, and started to pace around the room.

"tell me gizz… you have to trust me," he stopped pacing and stared daggers at me. I couldn't tell if it was the "I'm horribly mad at you" daggers, or the "I don't know what to say" daggers. Either way he's dangerous.

"you don't know ANYTHING!" he jabbed a menacing finger at me like I did earlier, but mine was playful, and his was out of rage. Appearently this was going to be the "I'm horribly mad at you" dagger.

"I would if you just told me gizz! GOD what has gotten into you? can I know anything about you- or dad! Or-"

"the only reason I didn't tell you about anything is because you wouldn't understand!"

With rage, I spat: "how do you think I wont understand! You told me everything before! I tell you everything, and that isn't much! You treat me like a kindergartener, a lame, immobilized and unable kindergartener!"

"because you act like one! You NEVER act your age! Maybe that's why you never have any friends!" the moment he said it, he regretted it. I felt tears build up behind my eyes, but I wouldn't shut them, I couldn't now, I was to angry.

"maybe I don't have any friends because I'm shy! And the reason I tell you everything is because you are the only one who will listen! I'm starting to think that maybe no one will listen anymore! No one cares! No one cares about the odd music-lover from district three!" I plopped down on the couch, and wouldn't look at gizz no matter how much he tried to get me to.

He tried for about a half hour straight, but I wouldn't budge, so he gave up.

"royal… there is something wrong, and I don't know if you'll listen, but-…" I was listening, very intently. I was still mad, but I wasn't about to give in.

"but you know that girl…emmla… she… she is-…she kinda-… sorta kindof…royal! I got her pregnant okay!" he burst into tears, and I had to look at him with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. He looked like a little kid, tears rolling down his cheeks heavily and his body raking with sobs.

"you did NOT!" I breathed, turning to him fully and seeing he was dead serious, "you're a dad?"

"yes! She has been pregnant for about a month and a half now, already showing. I'm scared, but I think I want it, the baby, I mean, I think I love her, and I'm not going to abandon her now…" he had finally stopped sobbing, and was able to speak to me clearly, but big fat tears were still running down his cheeks.

I reached out and wiped them away, feeling bad for him, "gizz, am I freaking out right now?" he turned to me slowly, looking at me as if I was a mutt.

"no…" the suspicion in his voice rang clear as he said the small word to me. His eyes were saddened, and had that usual glow whenever someone cried.

"then you should know that you can tell me anything, and I'd understand you and we would figure out a way to get around it… you will make a great dad… if you love emmla, and you know that you are going to love that baby no matter what and never give up on either of them, then you should talk to her about living together or something. You need to find a solution, not that it's a major problem at all, its just going to take a lot of time and care…" then it hit me, and I jumped up and down slightly in my seat, "oh yeah! I'm going to be an aunt!" he looked at me sadly.

"I'm still wondering if I should be a part of it, you know…its life," I saw pity in his gray eyes, and I knew sadness had crept into mine.

"what?...nevermind, I don't care if you aren't, I am going to be in its life, I don't care if you aren't, I don't care, I never cared about your decisions, they always brought anguish and pain, just face it. you're a father. if I was pregnant, would you give up on me?" obviously hurt, he continued.

"no, no way in hell…"

"than you have to think in her mind. Her perspective of things. She is probably scared to death, scared she will do it alone. To think there is something GROWING inside you is really awkward for a girl. You know, guys get to have fun…girls do to, but I want to only focus on them okay gizz?...they get to have fun, knock em up, enjoy it…but the aftermath of it isn't exactly pleasant for the girls, they deal with all the pain. So when that famous question of 'are boys stronger than girls?' is asked…think a little about how strong girls are in all of the REAL situations…" I stood, and walked away from him, headed towards my room.

Are boys always like this? They don't understand girls much do they? Most see girls as items, but the selective few that actually cherish girls, they actually make it somewhere in life.

Is victor like this? Does he understand women the way they want to be understood? Isn't this a game? All of it…our lives, the hunger games, the risks, the pain, the worry and hurt that swamp us every second of everyday…

When I made it to my room, I sat on my bed sadly, wishing victor was here right now do maybe he could talk to me a little about this whole thing. im sure he would calm me down, or at least I hope so. The games start tomorrow morning bright and early, I couldn't stand it if he got killed in the cornucopia bloodbath, or at all for that matter. Maybe the money I'm saving up will work wonders…or worse, they couldn't even make a dent.

I have saved up fifty dollars, and from what I know about the past hunger games, that is enough to buy a fairly filling meal for a few days in the arena, maybe even a reasonable amount of water that could last a week or so. But once the games progress, the sales prices will rise until fifty dollars that originally bought a large meal on day two, to a cracker on day seven.

Will my persistence be enough to get him home?

now she is desperate, and her brother got a girl pregnant. how do you feel about the whole "im going to abandon the mom of my child" thingy? this all plays into the whole plot of the story, so dont think im a perv or something. although, there are way worse stories i have read than this with the whole "pregnant" idea...so...i have to go wrap presants now...so merry christmas, and a happy new year... but will royal have one?

review3