A/N SMUT! Consider yourself warned. If you don't like it, you sure as hell are reading the wrong author's stuff, lol. This chapter should be much longer, and here we go! It's Alex's plan! Don't hate me because it's not dirty, lol, but trust me, it's sweet and I think it's Alexy. Alex is not a jerk, I don't know what they did to him in the end of Desire, but he is not a jerk. xD Also, I should probably start doing a disclaimer. And it's longer, too, huh?

-Addi (Yes, that is my name, whatdya know? Well, it's Addison, but everyone calls me Addi)

Disclaimer: Addison Forbes Montgomery and Alex Karev are property of Shonda Rhymes and ABC. I'm just borrowing for fun.

Chapter III: Just So You Know

Just so you know,

this feeling's taking control of me,

and I can't help it.

I won't sit around,

I can't let him win now.

Thought you should know,

I've tried my best to let go of you,

but I don't want to.

Just gotta say it all before I go,

just so you know.

His hand was warm and worn and dry, but it fit perfectly with hers and she didn't care, because no amount of lotion could save the skin from the ravages of 'scrubbing in'. It was chilly out in the evening air, and she shivered in spite of herself, but only when he wasn't looking at her, because she didn't want him to get the wrong idea (even if it was the right idea and she just wouldn't admit it). When she regained her composure and pinched herself a few times with her free hand (yes, this was really happening, by the way), she fell into step with him, watching absently as their strides matched one another.

He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze every once in a while, and not long after they had left the Archfield Hotel parking lot, he had entwined his fingers with her own, and guiltily, she sighed in pleasure. But what was she supposed to do? She had tried to let go, really had, but everytime he let her down, everytime he rejected her and pushed her away, he'd come back and (verbally, of course) pick her up and soothe the ache of what he had left. Like he was the dragon and the knight in shining armor all in one, and it made her head spin (even with the lack of alcohol in her system, and she wondered vaguely if that was where they were going, to Joe's, but they bypassed the bar).

They ended up at the park a few blocks from the hotel. It over-looked a large, artificial lake, but it was beautiful just the same, with the reflection of the full moon over the silvery water. In the distance, the skyline of the city stood, shimmering like a mirage on a desert, the Space Needle reaching up to shake hands with the night. Few stars dotted the indigo canvas, but Addison figured it was all the lights. In New York, you could never see any stars, and she had never been one for camping, so even this miniscule sight made her breath hitch.

She shivered again, and realized that she had left her coat on the chair back in room 1175. The red button-up polo and tight jeans she wore barely sheltered her petite frame at all from the icy breeze that buffeted her fiery curls. Alex slung his jacket over her, though, and suddenly she felt hot. Like he had wrapped the Sahara Desert around her, and she felt a blush creep up her neck and spread over her face, turning her cheeks scarlet, and Addison prayed a silent thank you to whoever was up there that it was night, and the man beside her was blind to the fact that her face was turning a very unflattering shade of pink.

"Where're you headed?" he whispered, and she turned slightly to scan his face for any hint as to what he was thinking, but the stony mask was fit perfectly in place. She blinked as the corners of her eyes stung a bit; Addison cursed under her breath, because she was not going to cry anymore over Alex Karev. She had shed enough tears for him to last a lifetime, thank you very much.

"L.A.," she whispered back, because it was a silent rule between them that neither dared break. And because her voice couldn't crack on a whisper. It was physically impossible. She didn't trust her voice to remain strong while his fingers were tracing elegant designs into the palm of her hand, calloused only slightly less than his (and she wondered why; did wrestling callous your hands?).

"What's in L.A.?" he reiterated, and she felt a pang of guilt stab through her heart.

"A fresh start."

"You can't have that here?" He turned to face her, finally, and she didn't know if it was just the shadows playing tricks on her eyes, but there were dark circles under his eyes and he looked desperate. Addison had to look away.

"No," she whispered, almost inaudibly. And then he did something she really did not expect. He reached up and took a hold of her chin, tilting her face so that their gazes locked fiercely, cerulean blue on blunt, honest brown (and it fit him well, because that was the one thing Alex Karev had; honesty). And he kissed her. Hard, passionate, forward, and Addison was knocked (verbally) off of her feet. There was no hesitation, no questioning on his part, no fear of rejection. He pulled away within moments and watched her as she regained her breath, gasping and panting, her lips bruised and full with that 'just kissed and hard' look that he loved to see on her, loved to know he put there.

"Alex, stop it! You can't fucking do this to me!" she protested, breaking the rule, and he stood silently as she pushed at him, slapping at his arms. "Just stop it!" The flood gates were opened, then, and she cursed not so silently, now, as a torrent of salty tears slid down her velvet cheeks, trailing dirty tracks of charcoal-gray mascara as they went. He held firm, his arms wrapped around her waist as she sobbed, horrible sobs that wracked her small body. She had given up on her anger and decided to just fall on him instead of slapping at his stomach, at his arms, and Addison was barely aware of the way he nuzzled her neck with his nose, whispering soothing words and rubbing her back reassuringly as she choked on her own sobs. "You can't.. can't do this to me, Alex," she repeated, when her breaths had returned to a more normal rhythm and she was leaning easily against him.

"I'm sorry."

"Is this just a game to you or something?" she went on.

"I'm sorry."

"Because I just can't.. I can't take all of this, Alex, I can't take these blows. I'm not indestructable," she continued, oblivious to him and his words.

"Addison, I'm sorry," he repeated, this time more firmly. He pulled away and grasped her chin again, this time gently, tilting her face toward him. "But I just.. I need time. Give me some time and I can make this work," he pleaded, stroking her hair lovingly, almost tenderly. Another tear slid silently down her cheek as she gently pushed his hand away, stepping out of his grasp, and she wascold again, despite thefact that his jacket was still draped over her.

"I'm sorry, I just.. I don't think I have any time left to give," she said solemnly, not meeting his gaze. They stood in silence for what could have been mistaken as an eternity, though in reality it was only a few minutes. When Addison looked upagain to meet his gaze, she found that he waslooking at her, watching her, and the heat rushed back. God, was it hot in here or was it just her?

"Fine, leave." His voice was not condescending or bitter, but it was enough to make her tilt her head to the side and nibble on her lower lip in that way that made her look positively adorable, and he had to work hard to concentrate on what he was about to say, what he had practiced. "But just so you know, Addi, I love you." He reached forward, then, and brushed a stray red curl behind her ear. "Just so you know, I'm not going to give you up, even if you're two states away, even if it'll cost me a fortune in long-distance calls to talk to you. Because I've made enough mistakes in my life, and I'm not going to lose you because I had to go and screw up yet again. So you can leave Seattle and Seattle Grace, but you can't leave me. I won't let you."

Addison stared, open-mouthed, in what was most-likely a terribly un-ladylike fashion. He smiled softly, twining his arms around her waist and grazing his lips softly against her own. She purred in apparent approval, meeting him the rest of the way and sighing into his mouth. Her arms sub-consciously made their way around his neck (because like I said, old habits die hard), and before she knew it, they were on the ground, laying in the grass, with the only sound around them the crickets and their ragged breaths and the lapping of the waves at the shore. Alex ran his tongue gently over her bottom lip, nipping at it and then soothing the bite again with his tongue. Addison parted her lips to grant him entrance, and then it was a battle of feeling, of touches and kisses and oohs!

Alex flipped each button of her polo open with skilled fingers, and Addison was greeted by a gust of cool air on her creamy skin and then the heat and wetness of Alex's tongue as it traveled from her navel upward in intricate patterns and designs, and she moaned through it all, forgetting that they were in a very public place. But for once, Addison Forbes Montgomery didn't care. How many opportunities to get taken on the share of a lake would arise in her life, anyway? And then her bra clasp was undone and Alex took her nipple wholly into his mouth, and Addison thought she could just explode right there, or implode on herself. Alex alternated between sucking and biting, drawing the most exquisite sounds he had ever heard from the throat of his lover.

Addison was on the edge, and with her senses in over-drive, she realized there was much too much clothing remaining between them. Insistently, she tugged at the hem of his tee until he lifted his head and allowed her to pull it up and off, and it sailed away to who knows where (when they were back on Earth they would find that it had landed on a park bench not so far off). Then her pants were off, and his pants, and panties were torn and tugged off and boxers were shoved down, and thank god for the doctor's pockets and the magical condoms. Alex supported himself over Addison, licking at the pulse-point in her neck as he neared her ear. Softly, he tugged on the lobe with his teeth, then whispered softly into her ear. "You okay?"

She nodded 'yes', and he watched her for one more second to make sure she wasn't lying; then he reached down and guided himself into her, and her eyelids screwed shut in the ecstasy of the moment. Alex shifted, entering her slowly, gasping at the wetness and the warmth and the tightness. He waited, then, watching her face for any signs of pain as she slowly adjusted to his large size; not only did he fill her up and then some, but he rubbed in all of the right places. When she felt she was ready, she nodded and he pumped, slowly at first, and with each movement he grazed his lips gently across hers. Addison found herself wondering at his gentleness, the way he was concerned for her before his own pleasure, and couldn't help but smile. She had always imagined him rough and quick in bed. It was a nice surprise.

Soon they were at a more quick pace, and their breaths were turning ragged. Addison locked her ankles together behind him and twined her arms around his neck, certain that she was nearing her climax, and Alex was right along with her. With one last kiss they came simultaneously, screaming their ecstasy into the other's mouth. Alex was the first to recover, and he opened his eyes, blinking, and watched the marvel of beauty that lay beneath him. Her wild, fiery locks framed her gorgeous face beautifully, and her striking features were relaxed in a peaceful way that had him smiling despite himself. She had never looked more beautiful than the way she looked now, her skin layered with a thin sheen of perspiration and her lips bruised and pouted ever so slightly. He wouldn't call her classically beautiful; she was too unique for such a common label. She was amazing, though, and he knew it. Knew that he couldn't lose her.