AN: In accordance with my expectations, the LOLrebellion made its presence known but shortly after I began the study of the founding and government of America. For inasmuch as I did labour to understand the pamphlet put forth by Thomas Paine in the months which did immediately precede the declaration of independence by the states united on the continent of America, so did the kittens of doom and appalling grammar attack mercilessly, and demand in loud voices that I continue the account of their history. Being helpless against the attack of kittens of doom, I present for your enjoyment, Gentle Readers, the fifth part of my account.
Disclaymdefied.
O HAI. Dis iz prt 5 of stori. Iz fur WillowDryad, bcuz she is nise and lissens to me tokk about angels and the headz of pinz. Fanks, Willow.
Teh ebul cat woman tooked Ed and itteh bitteh kitteh minion and wented in sled to find teh Big Cat. But den all sno went melted and it no wuz wintr, and dis teh ebul cat woman DID NOT WANT, bcuz of sled and stuffs. So she hadz a mad.
So tehy wakked instead, and ebul cat woman's minion had spray bottlez, and he sprayded Ed kitteh, and wuz meen, and mayded Ed kitteh get wetfurz. Do not want!
but cat woman had big, big mad, nd wuz to be making Ed dedded wif big meet nife, but Oreos teh neigh-man and teh big burds rescood him, but tehy diddent see teh cat woman cuz she hadz magik and maked him think she wuz just big toona can. So Oreos and burds brotted Ed kitteh bak to Big Cat, and Big Cat tokked wif him and gabed him noo kitteh hart and maded him gud kitteh.
And Ed kitteh sed, wuz sorree fur beeng ebul and he can haz a forgibnes?
And Petr and Susie Q. and Luci, tehy all sed, "Can haz!" So dey hadded big hug, and happiz. Yiddle ones.
And DEN, ebul cat woman comed. She wuz ebul. She sed Ed kitteh muss be dedded, cuz he sed "#FAIL" nd wuz ebul. Nd she sed, "I CAN HAZ HIZ BLUD KTHX!1!"
But Big Cat sed, "No can haz," and dey tokked and tokked fur yong time. Den Big Cat rored nd cat woman went way.
And in teh nite, Big Cat sneeked owt, but Susie Q. and Luci wented wif him, bcuz tehy all had big sadz, nd Big Cat's sad wuz teh bigst sad of all.