Chapter One: Best Laid Plans of Mice and Chuunin

"Time goes, you say? Ah, no! Alas, time stays, we go."
- Henry Austin Dobson

Umino Iruka woke up in his bed and screamed like a girl. No, correction, he screamed like an 18 year old boy. Which can sometimes sound like a girl. He ran to the bathroom, his heart racing a mile a minute and flipped the light on. He looked in the mirror. He was seriously 18 years old. He pinched himself. Had this all been a dream? No, it couldn't have been, there is no way he could've had such a real dream…he looked over at his smooth back, unmarred by the scar Mizuki would one day place. He ran a ragged hand through his hair, longer than he remembered at this age. Had he really, really pulled this off? Either he was going crazy or he had seriously done it. He didn't feel crazy. He felt…energized for a dead man. He laughed hysterically, wildly, poking at his chest where he had remembered the katana entering his chest. He could still feel the pinch of the steel.

Shaking his head dizzily, Iruka put on some light gear to work out in and went for a light run up the face of the Hokage monument, happily noting his surroundings. The village looking like how he remembered before Danzo, before the Akatsuki, before Pein, before Orochimaru, before…he shivered…Madara Uchiha. Like a man possessed he quickly reached the top of the monument. Iruka overlooked the village of Konoha and he realized that he was in a unique position. He alone knew what was coming and he had a perspective to influence the direction of the village. Certainly not as a schoolteacher. No, not anymore, he thought with a pang of regret. He was so alone; there was really no one he could trust, with whom he could share his burden of knowledge. Maybe he could tell Kakashi? Kami knew he trusted Kakashi implicitly. He could try and tell him. Maybe they could have a relationship again…it was earlier in than in their past life, but it couldn't hurt to try. He should also talk to the Sandaime; the man could maybe help him.

His mind made up, Iruka left the top of the monument. He jogged back down easily and entered the Hokage's office. The office was empty except for a lone ANBU standing to one side. Iruka ignored him in his utter happiness to see Sandaime after all this time. He had missed him so much.

"It's very good to see you this morning, Sandaime." Iruka said, acute warmth tinting his words. He had to take a deep breath to stop himself from tearing up.

"You're up early, Iruka-sensei." Sandaime said with a kindly smile. "Don't you have classes soon?"

"That's actually what I came to talk to you about…" Iruka began.

"Oh?"

"I would like to apply for ANBU." Iruka said without preamble.

Sandaime's grey eyebrows shot up and he leaned back in his chair. He picked up his pipe and started fiddling with it.

Iruka could feel the hard stare of the ANBU in the room on him, most likely judging him and finding him lacking. He wasn't surprised. Let the guy judge him. He had no idea who or what Iruka was, and he did not care.

"Typically one is invited to join, not the other way around, Iruka." Sandaime studied his face carefully. "And I thought you enjoyed being a teacher."

Iruka schooled his features into a bland smile. He had lived with Kakashi for over six years, damnit; he had learned something of lying, manipulation and evasion. Not to mention his time with his jounin-sensei.

"Maa…I am getting bored." Iruka smiled with a jaded air.

"You could finally accept the jounin nomination that I've been recommending for years, Iruka…" Sandaime said.

Iruka shrugged nonchalantly. "I think that sounds a little too easy. I've been feeling restless lately."

Both Sandaime and the ANBU began studying him closely.

"Have you kept up your training, Iruka?" Sandaime inquired lightly, a small smile quirking his features. The ANBU looked at the Hokage.

"Of course, Hokage-sama!" Iruka managed to sound vaguely affronted. Not to mention he had twenty-six years of training packed inside his body.

The Hokage seemed to make a decision after a few minutes of pondering and stroking his beard. Iruka allowed him to think in silence while he waited patiently. Iruka, after all, was a patient man.

"Okay then, you shall be proctored." Sandaime nodded slowly. "First I will appoint you appoint you as Tokubetsu jounin. Congratulations." Iruka couldn't manage to keep a small pout off his face. "I was hoping to avoid the jounin part…"

"Nonsense, Iruka. You earned it years ago. I'm glad you had stopped being so stubborn and got some ambition."

"I do like teaching." Iruka said, reflexively, out of habit.

"Yes, but Ibiki-san will be very proud of you." Sandaime said gently and Iruka flushed remembering his jounin-sensei. Yes, he would be proud and it would be good to see him. The old man had always been pestering him to join up with Torture and Interrogations. The tokubetsu jounin appointment would make Ibiki-san happy. As would his ambition to join the ANBU ranks.

Iruka allowed himself a small smile.

"Thank-you. So how does this work, when is the test? Today?" Iruka asked.

Sandaime laughed. "Eager?"

"Well, when I make up my mind that I want something, I make clear and concise steps to achieve it." Iruka said calmly. Damn, that ANBU was staring at him again. Just continue ignoring him, Iruka thought to himself.

"I have to discuss things with the three captains that will be proctoring your exam. You will be contacted at some point about the time and place, Iruka. Have patience."

Iruka lifted his hands to make the seals to transport away, but stopped himself.

"Uhhh…Sandaime, do you know where I might find Hakate-san?" Iruka asked, unable to stop the faint blush from tinting his cheeks.

The Hokage looked a little confused. "I wasn't aware you were friends with the man, Iruka. What did you wish to speak with him about?"

Iruka felt his tongue stick to the roof of his mouth while the Hokage stared at him and he felt the glower of the anonymous ANBU on the other side of the Hokage's desk staring at him. Oh, kami, what should he say? Something that no one would be able to talk about. Stick to something obscure, Iruka. Something perplexing to 99.9% of people.

"Mangekyō Sharingan techniques." Iruka said earnestly.

The ANBU turned towards him and was now openly staring at him. Something crackled in the air. Iruka ignored him.

"Iruka, don't tease the ANBU." Sandaime said, tapping on the desk with his pipe.

"Don't what? I don't know what you're talking about." Iruka frowned.

Sandaime sighed. "I've got a lot of paperwork to do, and you're trying my patience early today, Iruka."

"I had a question about the perils of raising niken." Iruka said.

"No you don't." Sandaime pointed his pipe at him.

"I want to borrow a recipe for miso soup?" Iruka tried.

Sandaime laughed. "Try again."

Iruka smiled broadly and winked at the Hokage. "I borrowed one of his Icha Icha Paradise books and I want to return it?"

"I really don't believe that, but I'll tell you that he's on a mission for the next 3 months." Sandaime said with a laugh. Iruka could hear the ANBU grinding his teeth nearby. Oh, was that classified or something? Oh, well, he could take his mask and shove it where the light didn't shine. THREE months? Shit, that was forever.

"Ah, okay, well, thank-you for telling me, Hokage-sama." Iruka nodded, very careful to hide his disappointment. He made sure to smile happily and made sure to make it reached his eyes. That's was the trick when lying.

Sandaime added, "And in the meantime. Get to class until we find you a replacement."

"Hai, Hokage-sama." Iruka nodded then performed the seal to transport himself back home in a little swirl of bubbles.

Iruka dressed for work quickly, picked up his bag and threaded his way to the academy, his mind in a million places, certainly not focused on work. This was the year before his class with Naruto, Sauske and Sakura. He was distracted all day, hard to keep his mind on the day, on the lessons. Thankfully his old self had completed the lesson plan before going to bed so it was a pretty easy day to teach.

After work, he stopped by at Ichiraku and picked up some ramen to take home. He knew he should probably eat something healthy considering he was about to have the ANBU trials soon, but he couldn't make himself. He wanted the comfort food. He really wanted ramen and to crawl into Kakashi's lap. But since he couldn't have Kakashi, he would make do with some ramen. He went back to his place, showered quickly, then put some pajama pants and sat on the couch to read a book on advanced genjutsu and eat his large bowl of ramen.

He was surprised when he heard a knock on the door around 9pm. He set down his book. Iruka opened the front door; it was the same arrogant ANBU from the Hokage office this morning. He was standing there arms crossed, glaring at him.

"Yes?" Iruka asked.

The ANBU didn't say anything right away so Iruka sighed.

"Look this is how it works. You knock on someone's door, usually when they answer the door you then say why you came." Iruka said sarcastically, leaning against the door. Oh, kami, he realized he was turning into Kakashi. Wasn't he supposed to be afraid of these ANBU? Maybe because he'd already died once he was starting to fear death less? No, that couldn't be, it's not like he could do that scroll again. It was gone. This was his last chance to save Konoha.

"Umino Iruka, here are your instructions." The ANBU said in a vaguely familiar voice, nagging at Iruka's memory. He held out a scroll to Iruka.

Iruka straightened and took the scroll, smiling. Although he didn't open it right away, he tilted his head and looked at the ANBU. Iruka tried to determine what creature the anonymous ANBU's mask was of. But he wasn't sure. It sort of looked vaguely avian in nature but he wasn't sure. He thought vaguely about asking but he wasn't sure if that was allowed or…rude?

"Myself, Bear and Lizard will lead the exam. It begins tomorrow at 9pm. You will have until midnight to evade detection, and if possible, capture one of us."

"Oooh…extra credit." Iruka said with a wink to the stoic ANBU, who he got the feeling was looking at his bare chest. Ha! Hey, it was kinda fun doing this. Is this why Kakashi always acted like this?

"Hn." The ANBU said.

"Well, if that's all, thanks for the info but it sounds like I've gotta get my beauty rest, ANBU-sama." Iruka said, reaching for the door.

"73% of the initiates fail, Iruka-sensei." The ANBU said.

"Well, I'm not sure if that was supposed to be comforting or insulting…so I'll take it as the former, ne?" Iruka said with a laugh.

"I'm merely quoting statistics." The ANBU added and Iruka and the feeling he was scowling under the mask.

"Well, because statistics keep you warm on a cold night…" Iruka said with a laugh. "Goodnight ANBU-sama. I shall see you tomorrow at 9pm!"

The next day he was certainly not going to work. Not when something as important as his ANBU trials were on the line. However, he didn't want Bear, Lizard, and the ANBU from last night, whatever his name was, from getting wise to his plan. He knew damn well that he was not the greatest fighter. He knew Bear was Ibiki; he could get around his traps like the back of his hand. Lizard, he was pretty sure was Tsume Inuzuka. He had read a lot of reports while working in the mission office over the years, overheard a lot of things. Didn't hurt being friends with a lot of jounin's, ANBU's and being the lover of Kakashi. You tended to hear a lot. Okay, what did he know about these fighters? If only he knew who the third ANBU was, this would be easier to plan. He just couldn't remember for the life of him who were the ANBU captains back then, and frankly it's not like they advertised the fact unless you were in ANBU. Well, he would just have to plan for any eventuality.

He went to work like any other day, however, he created a clone of himself in the bathroom, and sent him back the classroom to teach for the day, while he made the seals to transport himself into the Forest of Death. Nice name, right? He jumped lightly to the ground and found a nice clearing, remembering the spot well. It was the same spot he had saved Naruto all those years ago. Well. Would save Naruto in a few years. Or maybe not if he preempted the whole Mizuki debacle before it got that far. He still wasn't sure how far he should take changing the future.

He spent the entire day rigging traps, exploding tags, digging hidden moats, tunnels, foxholes; the entire perimeter was completely covered with them including a nice spot where he could even capture a prisoner if he got that far. Extra credit, indeed. Ha ha ha! He didn't think he would get that far, but it never hurt to think ahead and be prepared. He looked at his watch; school was almost over so he should probably be getting back. He brought back into himself the four clones that had been keeping guard while he worked, happy to note that no one had taken note of his activities. He transported himself back to school, and waited in the bathroom patiently for the last bell to ring. Then he recalled his last clone and transported himself back home.

He took a long shower, nervous excitement all aflutter in his stomach. Around 8pm he dressed carefully for the night, wearing light pants, a tight t-shirt, his flak jacket, wrapped his legs with his pouches for kunais and shurikens. He added about three times the normal amount of senbon's doused with sedatives. Lots of chakra wire. He had a lot of plans for it. He added his wakizashi blade, which was a katana blade, but shorter, only around 12 inches long. He liked it because he could put it on his side without encumbering him while he ran. He was supposed to evade capture until midnight after all. You never knew what you might need. Then lastly he opened the refrigerator and picked up a very large piece of smelly, moldy cheese, as well as a squeeze bottle full of vinegar and tucked it into a pocket.

He left the apartment and headed to Ichiraku's. A few bowls of ramen sounded very nice before tonight. He was on his second bowl of ramen when he felt intent eyes on him. He turned around and spied the third, anonymous ANBU staring at him. Iruka glanced at his watch.

"C'mon, I've got ten minutes, ANBU-sama!" Iruka groused.

"Aren't you nervous?" The ANBU inquired, taking a few steps closer. Again, that voice. Vaguely familiar, yet not.

"Maa…There is always room for ramen. And I've got it on pretty reliable sources that 37% actually pass. So I'm feeling pretty optimistic." Iruka grinned at the ANBU. The cocky bastard did have rather nice colored gray eyes even if the man seemed very harsh.

"You could make a fool out of yourself, sensei." The ANBU said lightly.

Iruka shrugged. "Only those who don't try to obtain their goals are fools, ANBU-sama." Iruka finished the last of his ramen, and then went to pull out his wallet.

"Ahh…on the house tonight Iruka-sensei!" said the ramen vender. "You're my greatest customer and tonight I wish you luck!" Teuchi said, smiling and giving him a thumbs-up. "And say 'hi' to Naruto for me!"

"You're friendly with the demon vessel?" The ANBU inquired coldly.

Iruka turned and glared angrily at the ANBU. "Don't mistake me, ANBU-sama. I may play the jester at times but I'm no fool. His name is Naruto Uzumaki and he is…like a brother to me. I would do anything for him." He took a deep breath to control his breathing, glanced at his watch. Two minutes left. "I'm sorry I spoke so harshly, I have a temper. And where family is concerned…I'm sure you can understand."

He didn't look at the ANBU or even give him time to respond. One minute left by Iruka's watch. No more time for pleasantries. It was the time for battle.

"I think I'm going to get going now." Iruka said with a brief smile as he transported a short distance away. It was time for the first stage in his plan.