Chapter Five: Search and Destroy

"Alas! Poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy; he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is!"
- Shakespeare

Iruka's muscles were tensed and aching from being held in the same position. He had been standing on the tree branch hiding for the past hour and a half. Usually he 'let' Naruto find him by now but he was a little surprised that no one had ferreted out his spot. Frankly he was getting a little bored. Maybe he should go down there and try and find someone instead of staying hid. He was getting hungry after all. He had heard some skirmishes off to his right about thirty minutes ago meaning there were people fighting; his back was pressed against the tree trunk tightly. He glanced at his watch. Ha! Only a few minutes to go and he would be the winner.

Iruka was humming with happiness at the moment. His plan with Danzō Shimura had been almost stupidly, absurdly, ridiculously simple. He was almost embarrassed to claim he had done it. Of course, no one would ever know except Ryuu, but he knew. He had poisoned him. The man loved his damn tea and always ordered it from the same tea shop. It hadn't been difficult to poison the tea at all. The brilliance of it was that the poison was a simple jutsu; it was cast on the tea to be activated in water, and only time released within the presence of saliva. It caused him to have a brain aneurysm in his sleep. Iruka knew it wasn't exactly an honorable way to kill someone, but he really didn't care. The man was a horrible person and Konoha a safer place with him six feet under. They were having a memorial in a few days and he supposed he would have to attend, although it seemed vaguely hypocrital to do so.

Iruka had always loved playing Search and Destroy with Naruto in the past although they had never had much time to play since he was so busy with teaching and mission desk duty and then later Naruto got too busy with his own missions and he got busy, literally, with Kakashi. There had just always been so many other things to do. And Kakashi had never taken the game seriously. He had always taken sat and read Icha Icha or conversely tried to find Iruka in order to just make out with him. But now even though he had his ANBU missions, there were lots of downtime where he had time to take Naruto out to their favorite place for a match of paintball.

When Itachi and his cousin showed up unexpectedly this morning on his rooftop when he had been celebrating his first victory, Danzō, he couldn't have been more surprised. Then after a few seconds a plan began to form in his mind. He wanted to maneuver and invite them to play Search & Destroy that afternoon with him and Naruto. First of all he knew that Naruto and Sasuke would get along in their typical rivalry-antagonistic way, and wouldn't it be nice if they could do it away from school and all the prejudice that Naruto usually had to face there? And it worked! And it wouldn't be great for Itachi to relax and have some fun since he knew the guy probably never took time to enjoy himself.

He was pretty sure he saw a glint in Itachi's eyes there for a second that he was onto him and realized that true goal was to get them to come play Search & Destroy, but once Shisui agreed to the game, it worked and they were coming. 'Mission-Turn-Itachi-Into-Not-A-Cold-Hearted-Bastard-Who-Kills-His-Clan' was progressing along nicely, he thought to himself. Although he really needed a better name than that for the mission. It was entirely too long.

It didn't bother him at all to see Itachi anymore. Iruka was over the fact that he had murdered him in his former life. Over it, in the sense that he had forgiven him. I mean, that was a completely different person, he reasoned. A completely different person who lived through completely different circumstances. It was funny how different from Sasuke, Itachi was. So much more serious. With those stern frown lines on his face. Although every once in a while, he would smile slightly and it did make him look very handsome. Well, when he grew up, that is, he would be, Iruka corrected himself hastily. Iruka chastised himself. Don't think thoughts like that about him. Gah, he's only thirteen! Even if you're body is only eighteen and he is mature and tall for his age.

Being eighteen again was somewhat annoying, he thought to himself irritably. His body was, ah…definitely more hormonal than his older, more adult body had been. Well, and that one had been getting regular sex back then. When does Kakashi get back from his mission? Damnit, stop thinking about sex, man!

He chuckled to himself, remembered telling them that Ryuu was a chihuahua. The dragon was going to have a fit when he told him about it. Maybe he should stop and pick up some fresh calf livers from the butcher shop for Ryuu to placate the monster. He did regret their fight…they had come to have a pretty good relationship over the past few weeks. Although the damn dragon had started it by eating all his strawberries. Again!

Just then he felt something hard pressing against the side of his back. Something hard and foreign and not the tree. He turned his head slightly and spied Itachi standing on another tree branch next to him, holding the paint ball gun at his back.

"Maa…is that a paint ball gun in your hands or are you just happy to see me?" Iruka smiled and winked at the younger man.

He was rewarded with a slight blush across Itachi's features then one of his frowns. Ha! Iruka took the opportunity to vault himself backwards off the branch into the air just as the tree branch exploded with the stunning tag he had placed there for such an eventuality. He landed on the ground and took off running. He could feel Itachi hot on his trail, firing paintballs as they whizzed in every which direction. Iruka zigged and zagged, evading the colorful projectiles.

Iruka tossed another couple of stunning tags over his right shoulder for good measure and laughed. He fired a few shots over his left shoulder, not even aiming. It was just to keep the nin at bay. He reached a large outcropping and he hid behind a rock. The timer went off on Iruka's watch. It was five pm. He looked down at it, laughed merrily and slipped out from behind the rock. Itachi was standing there, arms akimbo, smiling very slightly. Iruka was pretty sure he would faint if the man ever just full-out smiled.

"Hey! Times up. Let's go eat." Iruka said to him with a smile.

Itachi frowned. "But neither of us won."

"We'll have a dual then." Iruka said, shrugging. "But later. I'm starving!"

Itachi and Iruka walked in a companionable silence back to the clearing. Naruto and Sasuke were arguing about something and Shisui was laughing and pointing at them. The three of them were covered in multi-colored splotches of paint, but they all looked like they were having a great time. All of them had the word 'LIAR' on their forehead. When they heard them approach, they turned and looked at Itachi and Iruka expectantly.

"Who won, Nii-san?" Naruto asked excited.

"I think it was a draw…?" Iruka said, putting the paintball guns away in his duffle bag.

"Why do their foreheads say 'LIAR'…?" Itachi asked a hint of a smile ghosting over his features.

"Well, they broke their promise. And Naruto I'm ashamed at you! You even knew better!" Iruka scolded the boy.

"It's Sasuke's fault! He used chakra first!" Naruto yelled, pointing at the other boy.

"Dobe!"

"Teme!"

"And Shisui? Shouldn't you be setting a better example for the youth of Konoha?" Iruka teased.

"Well, I…" Shisui laughed. "I may have used my sharingan…"

Iruka laughed. "It still didn't help you win, did it? Who got you?"

"I got him!" Sasuke said proudly, turning away from where he had been wrestling with Naruto. He smiled triumphantly at Itachi. "I thought I was stalking Itachi, but I got cousin Shisui instead."

"Well, don't I feel special…" Shisui chuckled, running a hand through his short dark hair.

"The jutsu was in the pocky, wasn't it?" Itachi said, turning to Iruka.

Iruka blushed and reached up to scratch the scar on his nose. "Heh. Yeah. Sorry, just a little prank I guess. It'll fade in about a half an hour. It's all for fun, right?" Iruka smiled and reached down to ruffle Sasuke's hair.

"Hey, Nii-san!" Naruto exclaimed, pointing at the hem of Iruka's pants. "You did get shot after all!"

Iruka looked down at the back of his left ankle. Sure enough there was a small splotch of dark blue paint there. He must have gotten hit when Itachi was shooting him while he was zigging and zagging earlier.

"I did indeed." Iruka smiled happily and looked over at Itachi. "Then you are the winner, Itachi! No need for a dual later after all. But seriously, we need to eat. I'm starving!"

"Wow, Itachi-san!" Naruto exclaimed. "No one has ever beat Nii-san before at Search and Destroy!"

Iruka blushed and shushed Naruto, then reached into his large duffle bag and pulled out four very large bento boxes.

"Okay, I hope everyone is hungry. There is a lot of food." Iruka said.

The bentos that he made contained large quantities of onigiri, umeboshi, takoyaki, gyouza, hardboiled egg slices, fresh snow peas and orange slices. He may have gotten carried away cooking earlier. He couldn't help himself. He loved cooking and he wanted everyone to enjoy lunch. By the way everyone was eating silently and rapidly he was pretty sure they liked everything. Iruka smiled happily and popped another onigiri into his mouth.

"Naruto, chew with your mouth closed." Iruka said to the boy, whacking him upside the back of his head.

"Gomen." Naruto said, ducking his head.

"Dobe." Sasuke said with a snicker.

"Did you buy these bentos with my 1,000 Ryō, Iruka?" Shisui asked, eating a gyouza with a big grin on his face.

Iruka looked confused for a moment then laughed. "No, Shisui. I made them! I told you earlier I was cooking for everyone." He popped another onigiri in his mouth and smiled.

Shisui looked surprised. "You're a really good cook, Iruka!"

"Lots of practice." Iruka said with a smile. "I've…" Iruka paused. "I've always lived on my own since I was old enough to be." Except for those six years with Kakashi. But those were…oh kami; they almost felt like some sort of fever dream now. Feeling the wind blow past his face and the birds chirping in the trees around him…it all seemed so far away. He looked down for a second. Damn teenage hormones! Iruka took a deep breath and ate a takoyaki, savoring the salty bite of the octopus.

"Nii-san is great at everything!" Naruto said cheerfully.

Iruka laughed and blushed a little at Naruto's comment. He really hoped the extra training he was giving him would be enough to help him actually graduate the academy even though he wasn't there to watch out for him every day. Thankfully his teacher next year would not be Mizuki. Iruka would not let that happen even if he had to sneak into the records office and change things around to get Naruto assigned to a different teacher. Or possibly send Mizuki to some long foreign D-rank mission to Suna.

"Didn't you used to be a pre-genin teacher, Iruka-san?" Sasuke asked looking at him and eating some umeboshi. "I think I remember you from the academy…"

"Hai." Iruka said and nodded.

"What do you do now?" Sasuke asked, one of his eyebrows arched.

Iruka smiled. "I'm a tokubetsu jounin, Sasuke-kun. I go on missions." Was it just his imagination or did Itachi look relieved? Did he really think he was going to start running around telling everyone that he was ANBU? He almost told the child right there just to see Itachi's eyes bug out again. That might be fun to see. He was starting to get a little sadistic, he thought to himself. Did he now have a hobby, saying outrageous things just to see Itachi's reaction? That was weird; he really was turning into Kakashi.

"Naruto, Sasuke, why don't you pack up our paintball guns get everything ready to go?" Iruka suggested to the two boys who walked away and started cleaning up.

"What is your specialty, Iruka?" Shisui asked with a smile.

"I feel like I'm being interviewed here!" Iruka teased, starting to clean up the bentos since it seemed everyone was done. There was a lot leftover. He combined the leftovers into two of the bentos and then smiled at the two men who were staring at him. "Well, my jounin-sensei was Ibiki-san, Shisui." That's all he said, assuming the man would be able to figure it out.

Shisui seemed to think about it for a second, as if he had to place the name for a moment, and what that meant. Then he tilted his head to the side for a moment and looked at Iruka. He looked surprised and opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to change his mind. Then he started to speak, and thought better of it. He scratched his head again, and then frowned. "Ah."

Iruka laughed and put an arm around Shisui companionably. "That was fun to watch! You're funny, Shisui." He picked up the second bento and offered it to the two men. "I made way too much food. Why don't you take this home? There is enough. I'll give one to Naruto and you guys can have the other."

Itachi took the bento from Iruka. "You can keep it-"

Iruka waved his protests away and blushed slightly. "I actually made even more food than this and it's at home in my refrigerator. This is just what fit in the bentos."

Two weeks later Iruka was reading in bed when a messenger bird tapped on his window. He leaned over and took the scroll. He had a mission in a few hours. Good thing he had napped earlier, as it appears he wasn't going to get any sleep this night. He stood, stretched and began to get dress. This would be the third mission he had been on since that they had played Search & Destroy and he believed it had done a lot of good for the Itachi. He definitely seemed a lot more relaxed around Iruka and even cracked a joke once. Although he was starting to stare a lot now, even more than before, so he wasn't sure what up with that, but he did seem happier. And a happier man did not slay his clan, right?

He met his teammates by the gates in two hours. He smiled at the familiar form and chakra signature of Itachi. Then he remembered the man couldn't see him smile so he waved and was even rewarded when the man actually waved back. Iruka pulsed a little chakra into his feet and then landed next to Itachi.

"I see Genma is late of course. Probably couldn't tear himself away from Raidou." Iruka sighed, leaning down to re-adjust a few things in his kunai pouch.

"I heard that!" Genma said.

"I wasn't wrong, though." Iruka laughed and punched Genma in the arm.

Genma laughed. "I didn't know you were such a gossip, Iruka."

"I'm sorry, I'm just being bitchy. I didn't get to sleep and it wasn't because I was getting laid. I was reading in bed." Iruka complained.

"Aww…poor Iruka." Genma snickered. "What were you reading? Icha Icha Paradise at least?"

"Alas, no. Advanced medical jutsu textbooks." Iruka said.

Genma shook his head. "You're such a nerd!"

"You won't be saying that if you need some of my healing touch later!" Iruka said. "Or was that what Raidou said earlier…?"

"We really need to be going on our mission now." Itachi interrupted and handed them the scroll to review. They read it quickly and then started it. However, they did continue to talk companionably as they were still close to the border of Konoha.

"Geez, Hawk, do you ever laugh or smile?" Genma said. "You know Owl is very funny."

"I know that." Itachi said.

"Actually, Tiger I have caught Hawk smiling half-smiling at least five times and he even said a joke to me three days ago. I nearly passed out from shock, but luckily he stopped himself and frowned immediately afterwards. The juxtaposition between joke and frown immediately woke me up like smelling salts." Iruka said solemnly.

Genma hooted with laughter.

Itachi may have knocked the man off a branch on purpose.

They started off towards Mist where their mission was. They were to retrieve a very well hidden scroll. However, they never made it. It was an ambush. Before they realized it, about thirty-five Mist ninja were surrounding them. They began fighting. It was impossible odds, right? Thirty-five to three? But they were ANBU after all. They had killed about ten, when Tiger fell. He wasn't dying. It wasn't a mortal wound, but it was pretty bad. A deep gash to his thigh and another on two on his chest; he couldn't fight anymore.

Iruka leapt to his side and without thinking immediately placed his hands to the ground and placed a very strong Barrier Ninjutsu around Genma so that he would be protected from enemies while they continued to fight.

"Tiger, stay in this circle!" Iruka ordered him.

"Well, I'll try not to dance the…hokey pokey…" Genma said weakly.

Iruka pushed a blood pill in Genma's mouth, as well as something for the pain, and then rushed out of the barrier and back into the fighting. There were another five bodies on the ground around Itachi, whose Sharingan were spinning wildly as he fought. Iruka turned and fought the two men closest him, but this sort of battle was not his strong suit. He could describe and quote various battle strategies and tactics until he was blue in the face but just he didn't have capabilities to fight it himself. Iruka knew it, and he wasn't being pessimistic – he was being realistic. You have to know your place in a shenobi world. It saved your life and the lives of your teammates.

After dispatching the two Mist nin around him, he made his decision. With a kunai in hand, Iruka nicked himself, made the seals quickly: Bird. Dog. Bird. Monkey. Ram. Then Ryuu appeared in a loud pop.

"What do you want now?" Ryuu said grouchily. He was always grouchy when he was first summoned.

Iruka was now kneeling on the ground from having to expend the chakra to summon the dragon.

"Ahh…kind of in the middle of a fight, Ryuu. I was wondering if you could help us. You are always bitching that I never let you do this sort of thing…?" Iruka said, gesturing around at the battlefield.

"Oh! This pleases Ryuu-sama the Great, Dolphin! Thank-you!" Ryuu said happily and he cracked the muscles in his neck. Does a dragon have muscles to crack in their neck? "Who are these bad guys, Dolphin?"

"Mist ninjas." Iruka supplied.

Ryuu seemed to suck in the air around him and expand in size, going from his usual 12-foot size, to around thirty feet roughly. It was impressive to see even for Iruka and who was used to seeing the creature.

"Earthly beings! Tremble before me! I am Ryuu-Sama the Great! Mortals tremble at my presence! Mountains quake at my fire! Clouds part before my flames! Fear my wrath! All Mist ninjas must die!" Ryuu really was hamming it up, Iruka thought, as he listened to Ryuu bellow. Then the dragon began fighting by roaring fire and smoke as well as flying around chasing the Mist ninjas around who were now running around screaming in fright.

Iruka stepped over a dead body and walked calmly through the carnage to where Itachi was still fighting and stood next to him, helping him fight some of the ninjas that escaped Ryuu's clutches. There weren't many. And it didn't take long. Ryuu was actually a pretty ruthless and efficient killer when it came down to it. He was proud of the dragon and very glad he didn't have to fight any more this day. It is always good to have a very scary fighter on your side.

After about twenty minutes of fighting, Ryuu sat down on the ground, burped a little fireball then tossed out of his mouth what suspiciously looked like a femur.

Iruka walked over to the barrier circle that he had erected around Genma and he took it down and started healing the man.

"You're not allowed to ever joke about me needing your healing touch again, Iruka, okay?" Genma said, his voice shaking.

"You're not superstitious are you?" Iruka smiled softly at the man as he began to heal him.

"I'm freaking dying, Iruka." The man looked sideways tearfully at where Ryuu was still sitting, watching Iruka, Genma and Itachi. "I'm seeing dragons!"

Iruka leaned back on his haunches and laughed.

"You're not dying." Iruka said.

"Which one is Weasel? Please tell me it's not that pathetic wounded one, Dolphin." Ryuu said derisively.

Itachi turned to look at the dragon.

"Hey, I took a hit early in the battle." Genma said defensively. "It was unavoidable!"

"That does not look like any chihuahua I have ever seen, Iruka." Itachi said stiffly.

Iruka pushed up his mask and beamed at Itachi. "See, that is now your second joke, Itachi. And also some sarcasm. You're practically an Uchiha comedian!"

Itachi walked over towards him and pushed his mask back down. "Keep your mask on, idiot. Why have you been…hiding a summon this powerful all this time?"

"It never seemed fair to the other guys?" Iruka reasoned with a small laugh, not going to tell anyone that he had recently Ryuu by stealing the scroll. No, no one really needed to know about his thieving tendencies. "And besides, he isn't mine to obey and order around at my whim. He is my friend."

"That's ridiculous. You are master. That is the relationship between masters and summons."

"Do you have a summon?" Iruka asked Itachi.

"No."

"Then you don't understand. And besides, I don't want to own anyone or anything. I would rather have him respect me and work alongside me as a friend. I summoned him and asked if he wanted to help us." Suddenly Iruka turned and yelled at Ryuu, "Of course this means you are NEVER allowed to eat my strawberries ever again! And no calf livers for a week!"

"Ano! Nani! Why?" The dragon pouted.

"You just ate like twenty people. How can you possibly be hungry?" Iruka yelled.

"Well, I'm not…now. But I'm sure I will be later." Ryuu wheedled.

"Itachi, is Iruka really talking to a dragon? I'm not dreaming am I?" Genma asked.

"Why would you be dreaming about Iruka?" Itachi inquired.

Iruka laughed again then held up three fingers to Itachi. "That's joke number three, Itachi. Although you probably didn't mean it that way."

Genma chuckled even though it hurt his chest. "Well, you do have a nice ass, Iruka. But I'm in a relationship."

"Are all of you gay? Is all of Leaf full of gay ninjas?" Ryuu had flown closer and was now peering closer. "First I thought it was just Dolphin and his insipid Scarecrow obsession. But now-"

"Damnit!" Iruka was so embarrassed. "Your gluttony has obviously messed with your limited ability to think, Ryuu." To have his love just blurted out in front of his two teammates was just mortifying. Absolutely humiliating. He could feel tears pricking at his eyes, threatening to overwhelm him. And the thing of it was, it wasn't an obsession and Ryuu knew that. Ryuu knew they had been in love and it had a real relationship. The damn dragon was only calling it an obsession because he thought that Iruka should move on and try and find a different relationship, a real one in this lifetime. The dragon thought that it was a mistake to try and recapture the past with Kakashi. But what did a dragon know about love?

Iruka leaned over and worked to finish healing Genma's leg. He was very glad he had read up on the advanced medical jutsu. Some of the techniques had actually proved useful. Such as repairing deep tissue and joining the arteries. He gave the man something to help him sleep, then Ryuu actually offered to carry him. Probably trying to make it up to him for completely embarrassing him in front of his team. But he still allowed the dragon to carry Genma.

Itachi looked like he wanted to argue.

Iruka shook his head. "No, it's perfectly safe. He wouldn't harm a fly unless I asked him to." Iruka looked up at Itachi. "Do we need to still continue with the mission?"

"Do you think we, as a team, are capable?" Itachi asked.

"Well, with Ryuu's help, we could." Iruka suggested.

"Actually I'm pretty sure the entire mission was a ruse to actually get us here in order to ambush us. I don't know why, but they were not successful. That is for the Hokage to look into why." Itachi shrugged.

"I'm going to have to tell Sandaime about Ryuu aren't I?" Iruka sighed.

"Well, I don't think a chihuahua will explain the damage dealing in the report, Iruka." Itachi said.

Iruka smiled and slung his arm around Itachi. "That's number four, my friend. Soon I won't be able to keep count."

...

A/N: Please Review ^_^