Chapter Eight: How do you like your Sushi Cooked?
"Nothing contributes so much to tranquillize the mind as a steady purpose."
- Mary Shelley
Iruka just returned from sneaking into the Hokage's office to create an operation to Kirigakure no Sato for the torture and assassination mission of one Kisame Hoshigaki. He felt no guilt, no pain, no nagging sense of right and wrong. Actually, he was elated to be back on his mission after having been on a break for a while since the death of Danzō. He had spent a while trying to think of a reason for getting out of the village to go killing the soon-to-be Akatsuki member, but frankly, he couldn't think of a reason. So he did the next best thing; he snuck into the tower, made up a very difficult mission and wrote it in such a way that Itachi's and his particular needs would be required for the mission, insuring that they would be the ANBU cell sent out.
However, he supposed even if another team was dispatched, as long as the nin died, it didn't matter. But Iruka had a specific reason for seeking Kisame out first. The man had tortured him for over three and half weeks trying to get information about Kakashi and Naruto. Almost a month. And he remembered every single agonizing moment of it. Still had nightmares about it sometimes. He may have Danzō killed first, but that had been easy in a way; that man lived in Konoha. And while it was true, Iruka was not here for revenge. But, if he was honest with himself; and Iruka like to think that he could be, he would enjoy watching Kisame die.
He was preparing breakfast the next morning when the bird came; a mission. He smiled wolfishly, and dressed in his ANBU gear, then danced over the rooftops and landed lightly by the gates.
"Hey." He said to Itachi.
"Who's this?" Iruka pointed at Otter. Otter was Tenzō, err…Yamato. He knew that mask. Damnit. Damnit. Damnit.
"Hn." Itachi handed him the mission scroll. Iruka read it rapidly; he already knew what it said after all. He had written the damn thing and then forged it with Sandaime's scrawl and sealed it with the purloined Hokage seal. He still wasn't getting what Itachi was driving at.
"Otter." Tenzō said in a cheerful voice and held out his hand to him.
Iruka shook hands with him and sighed. "Owl."
Tiger appeared and stood next to them. "Hey guys. I see we've got a party today."
"They have given us two additional operatives to assist us with this mission." Itachi said.
"Damnit, Hawk, we could do this by ourselves. We don't need babysitters." Iruka ground out. "No offense, Otter."
"None taken." Tenzō said mildly.
Itachi pulled him aside and spoke to him quietly. "I know, but apparently Hokage-sama was worried about something in the way the mission directive was worded. Something about it appearing suddenly, and out of the blue. I believe he thinks it might be a trap."
Iruka cursed himself internally. It was his own fault he supposed. He should have sent the mission along through the normal parameters instead of just having it 'appear' on the Hokage's desk as if the man had just misplaced it. Damn, the old man never misplaced anything. Should've known he couldn't really outsmart him. At least he was still on the mission. Why had he not been patient with this matter? Iruka was always patient. Why had he allowed his impatience to overrule his good sense? He chalked it up to the fact that this mission was close to his heart, in a way.
"Maa…considering we're senior to you, shouldn't you show some respect?" Hound said as he strolled up to the group casually. Late, of course.
"Maybe you should show up on time for once, Hound." Iruka snapped, his body tensing up at the sound of Kakashi's voice. "And you're not leading the team so don't pretend to patronize me. You don't even know me."
Itachi passed the scroll around so that Yamato and Kakashi could both read it. They would need to start leaving soon as it was a bit of a trek to the Village Hidden in the Mist, or Kirigakure. And they needed to get going. It was going to be a long trek. Iruka was not looking forward to a long mission with Kakashi in tow.
"If I showed up on time, no one would know it was me." Kakashi said.
Iruka didn't respond, he merely turned away from the man and began cataloguing his weapons, hoping he had enough kunai. He could always borrow some from Itachi if he needed more.
"Let's get going." Itachi said, "I want to make it to the ferry by nightfall."
Then they were off; flying through the trees and Iruka savored the feeling of the air and the smell of the night and the woods around him. They kept up their grueling pace in a tight formation. Hawk, Tiger and Owl in one group working together; it was very obvious they were a close knit team. And nearby Hound and Otter jumping back and forth on branches beside each other silently.
They did indeed make it to the coastline of fire country by nightfall, but they decided to make camp for the night and press on in the morning. They sat on a small patch of the beach staring at the ocean in without a fire. Otter offered to take the first watch.
Iruka moved to lay down next to Itachi. The damn porcelain mask was sweaty and so uncomfortable. He turned to the Uchiha and groaned.
"What?" Itachi said, turning to look at him.
"Stupid mask, it's sweaty." Iruka laughed. "Worst part of the job. Although very cool looking."
Itachi chuckled. "You should try to sleep, Owl."
Genma lay down next to them. "If we were going to get babysitters like Hound and Otter, I should've been allowed to stay at home and sleep."
"Sleep or play with Raccoon?" Iruka teased.
"You say po-ta-to, I say po-taa-to." Genma laughed. "By the way, Owl, I like your new wakizashi blade. You know what they say about blades…very phallic…"
"Yeah, they say that about senbons, too." Iruka said with an edge to his voice, and then turned over, fingering his new blade. He liked the new blade entirely too much, especially the fact that Itachi had given it to him.
"Maa…you guys having a tea party, or can I lie down over here to sleep?" Kakashi asked.
Iruka huffed. No, he did not want him laying down anywhere near them. Then he felt Itachi link his cool fingers within his own and he immediately calmed down and looked up at the stars.
He was also immensely grateful for the anonymity of the porcelain masks at this juncture Iruka knew that once Kakashi got out of the hospital, his curiosity over Iruka would lead him to the first place he would look: Iruka's file. So Iruka had stolen all files on himself. The one from the academy, the one at the Hokage tower, the one from T&I as well as his ANBU file. He'd put them back later. Especially because after this mission the man would probably find out whom he was. It's not that he wanted to prolong the mystery; it's that he wanted to piss him off. It was petty, and he knew it, but he was feeling kinda petty when he did it.
"You're welcome to bed down here by our team, Hound." Itachi said stiffly.
Iruka rolled his eyes at his formality. He shifted and rolled a little closer to Itachi's warmth. The younger man didn't seem to mind, or break contact with their hands. Under his mask, his face was burning with a fierce blush but he didn't care. Too young! His mind was screaming, but he needed his strength, he told himself. Then he felt his body relax into deeper breathing and he was falling asleep.
Much too soon someone was waking him up for his shift taking watch. He blinked awake, owlishly, much like his namesake. He realized he was spooning with Itachi, their hands still together. He looked down at the younger man and unthreaded his hand, letting the younger man continue to sleep.
He looked up at who had awoken him. It was Kakashi, of course. It was Iruka's unlucky day apparently.
"Maa…." Kakashi started to say something with a very teasing tone of voice.
"Just…shut it." Iruka said and pushed him away.
Iruka pulsed a little chakra into his feet and jumped into a tree to start his turn to watch duty, extremely pissed at himself but mostly with Kakashi. He felt a very familiar chakra next to him on a branch even though he must think he's masking himself.
"Go away, Hound." Iruka growled.
"Well, I'm awake now." Kakashi said conversationally. "Just thought we could have a conversation. I've never met you, Owl. What is your specialty in the team?"
He sighed and looked over the beach, the night and the waves crashing along the shore. In all their whole relationship, Iruka had always wanted to go to the beach with Kakashi. It was always a dream vacation they meant to take but never had the time. War always got in the way. Too many missions. Other things that were more important. It was bittersweet in a way…that they were both here together, finally at the beach. He almost wanted to laugh.
So, he did laugh. Kakashi looked at him funny. Maybe that laugh came out a little strangled.
"I do a little bit of everything." Iruka said evasively. "But I suppose you could say I specialize in traps, seals, torture & investigation, and healing."
Kakashi seemed mildly impressed. "That's a lot to specialize in."
"I like to read." Iruka shrugged. Then added, thinking of Ryuu. "Oh, and I guess I can do a lot of major damage dealing if the need arises."
Kakashi looked baffled. "If the need arises?"
"Well, I'd much rather not have do major damage, I suppose." Iruka said, as if explaining to a small child. "Peace is always preferable to war, ne?"
"I see your wakizashi blade, did Hawk give you that?" Kakashi asked.
"I do not see that it is any concern of yours, Hound."
"Simply curious."
"Go suck on a kunai." Iruka replied tartly.
Kakashi laughed.
"So, what do you like to do when you're not reading, contemplating diplomacy and the art of war?" Kakashi asked.
"Eat tempura." Iruka said with a grin under his mask. He knew Kakashi hated tempura. "Lots of it."
Kakashi looked at him oddly.
Itachi was abruptly on the branch next to Iruka. He leaned in close to him. Iruka smiled behind his mask and tilted his head to the younger man.
"You're awake early." Iruka said cheerfully. "I'm glad."
"I did give him the blade, Hound." Itachi said.
"How…touching." Kakashi said. "Marking your territory?" But the way he said it made it sound perverted.
Iruka's hackles rose up and he started to say something when Itachi touched his shoulder calmingly again. He breathed in a sigh, and paused. Maybe he was right. He shouldn't rise to the bait. It's what Kakashi wanted. And what Iruka always did. He should break the cycle.
"Since you're so bright eyed and bushy-tailed, mind taking my shift, Hound-sama?" Iruka asked nicely.
"Err…?" Kakashi looked a little surprised at the question and the somewhat surprising turn of events.
"You know what they say, Hound-san…Don't eat yellow snow!" Iruka said cheekily as he and Itachi jumped out of the trees and down to the beach below.
Iruka and Itachi walked down along the beach for a while until they were alone, then Iruka plopped onto the sand and tugged Itachi down beside him. He watched the waves for a while and tossed a stone into the water. Even though it wasn't dawn, it was still night, it was quite beautiful. They probably had about an hour until dawn, Iruka gauged fairly accurately. The moon already dipped below the waves.
"You shouldn't let him get to you." Itachi said.
"He always has that ability." Iruka groused. "It's 'Annoy Iruka no Jutsu'."
"You've known him a long time, then."
"Yes."
Iruka paused and looked out the sea. He paused and tossed another rock out into the water. After a moment he spoke.
"I'm glad you're with me today. I must confess something before we go further. I know of this Kisame Hoshigaki." The hatred was palpable in Iruka's voice.
Itachi sat up, looking at him oddly, but listening intently.
"Hn."
Iruka gazed out over the water, seemingly lost in memories. "At one time he…tortured me. Kisame…he's blue. He looks like a fish."
Itachi nodded mutely, slightly confused. A blue man?
"I suppose I should have excused myself from the mission but…I wanted to be here. Can you understand?" Iruka said softly. Iruka closed his eyes and he couldn't help but remember those days when he was tortured by Kisame in his former life. His real life. That former life. It was all so confusing. He opened his eyes and looked into Itachi's swirling twin red sharingan eyes. He sighed and closed his eyes. He didn't want to look into them. He was afraid of what Itachi might see in his own eyes. Iruka shuddered and closed his eyes; remembering his previous encounter with Kisame:
Iruka was held down with chakra chains in a dungeon; his body splayed out grotesquely. He was on a wooden board, being flayed by a whip. Most of the skin was already torn off his back and now they were tearing off the muscle. The skin and hair on his scalp ripped off; merely little strings of it remaining – a few little bald patches bloody and oozing with puss. His body was so very thin, all the bones in his back were visible, his tan was gone, and he was sickly pale with malnourishment. Iruka was still wearing his pants and kunai pouch but he was shaking, he was muttering incoherently. His face was surprisingly unmarred, he drooling, his face slack with pain, eyes glazed over.
There was someone walking over, a tall, muscular shenobi who was blue with round white eyes and gills. He even had shark like triangular teeth and blue hair. The blue man walked over to Iruka and caressed him intimately.
"Is our little chuunin ready to talk?" He asked with a shark-like smile.
"I…will…never betray Konoha!" Iruka whispered, crying pitifully.
The tall blue man cracked his knuckles and laughed coarsely. "Ah, that's what they always say. But you've only been with me a week. You'll break sooner or later. They always do!"
There were moans of other prisoners in other rooms. Possibly in the same room.
"I will not betray Konoha!" Iruka repeated, stronger sounding.
"He will not come for one such as you." The blue man said with scorn.
Then the memory shifted and Iruka was being savagely attacked, punched and then beaten with a cane. Repeatedly. He was spitting up blood. There were scars and lacerations all over his body. It was obvious he was in multiple organ failure. Possibly even dying. Iruka welcomed death, it would mean an end to the pain. But then a medic-nin went over and kneeled before Iruka and began healing him and Iruka loved the healing and cursed it at the same time. It meant blessed relief of the pain. But it meant another day of more torture. They healed him merely to torture him again. The memory shifted and we see Iruka, somewhat healed, now on a different wooden board.
The tall blue man was leaning over Iruka again. "Have you met Samehada?" The blue torturer brandished an odd sword that was very long and covered with bandages. He waved it very close to Iruka.
Iruka blanched and shied away.
"I see you have heard of my Samehada…!" The blue torturer laughed heartily. "Then it makes introductions unnecessary!"
The screaming in the memory was cut short and cut to a vision of Iruka covered with shark bites and long jagged slices.
"Tell me about the jinchuriki!" The blue man yelled.
"Where is Kakashi? What is his weakness?" The blue man yelled.
"Never…betray Konoha…" Iruka whispered weakly.
Iruka closed his eyes and shrugged off the memories. It was best, he knew. Remembering was just too painful. Not physically, but mentally. Having all the memories of two lives inside one head was very hard sometimes.
"How long were you….detained?" Itachi inquired calmly.
Iruka forced himself to be in the present. To remember this life and who he was in this life, not that life. Sometimes it was hard and he had to focus for a moment. He blinked a few times at Itachi, reorienting himself.
"I suppose only three and a half weeks in total before it ended." Iruka answered cryptically.
"But they came for you." Itachi said.
Iruka shook his head sadly. "No. No they didn't."
"I would have." Itachi said vehemently.
Iruka felt a painful lump rise up in his throat. Because he wished someone had loved him so much that they would've stormed the freaking dungeon back then and saved him. And also it was so ridiculous because it was Itachi who had killed him in the first place. He almost wanted to laugh hysterically at the entire situation. Oh, Iruka, you have actually done it, he thought. You have turned into a bat-shit crazy jounin. Have you gotten the hots for not only the man who killed you…but a thirteen year old? You, right now, are worse than Kakashi and his ridiculous Icha Icha Paradise books.
"I wish you would have." Iruka whispered before he could stop himself.
"I can kill this man for you if you want." Itachi offered.
Iruka shook his head. He knew Itachi & Kisame had been partners in the Akatsuki and they had probably been friends or at least respected each other. He didn't want to make Itachi have to kill his friend or partner. Oh kami, listen to him, Iruka thought. They're not the same people! Was he really going insane?
"No I can do it." Iruka smiled beneath his mask. "I want to do it."
"Hn." Itachi said. "Why aren't you affected by my sharingan eyes? I can't seem to see inside your head like others?"
Iruka frowned in confusion. "I don't know? I guess I just have good mental barriers in place?" He really didn't know. But his mind was very tightly wound up keeping people out because he didn't need people prying into his memories of his past life.
Itachi stood and held his hand out Iruka helped him up. Sure, Iruka didn't need a helping hand to get up, but he did want to touch Itachi's hand.
Suddenly Tiger appeared in front of them. "Hey, are you two done making out so we can get going?"
"We weren't making out." Iruka argued.
Tiger chuckled.
The three of them walked over to where Otter and Hound were waiting. Otter seemed to be standing placidly but Hound had an annoyed look to his body language. But thankfully he was silent. They set off for the ferry, which was about three miles up the coastline. Otter went and procured passage for the five of them aboard a ship and soon they were sailing. The boat ride would take most of the day and they would not make it to Village Hidden in the Mist until nightfall.
They couldn't take a boat ride in their ANBU garb, which would look very suspicious. So when Otter had gone to get tickets he had had also purchased five outfits that would make five homeless fishermen happy. They smelled like fish and looked like something that a homeless fisherman wouldn't want to wear. Iruka was slightly happy to finally get the sweaty mask off his face, but damn pissed that Kakashi would see that it was him. This was just going to make things worse, he believed. He undressed and put on the new outfit, and left his brown hair down. He also had a few weapons on himself just in case, as well as incidentals.
As he undressed, and changed into the fisherman garb he knew Kakashi was watching. The dratted man did not appear to be overly shocked to see that Owl was Iruka so it seemed he had done some research before leaving Konoha, probably talking to Asuma, Iruka correctly assumed. He shrugged and finished dressing. Damnit. Damn scarecrow!
They boarded the ship and were all settled in a cozy lounge area sitting around a big table. Iruka pulled out his deck of cards. "How about some poker?" Iruka offered.
With nothing else to do, Genma, Itachi, Iruka and Tenzō played poker. Iruka was winning, as per usual. Kakashi sat in a chair and just watched their interactions. Of course Kakashi had thought to bring along face masks for himself. But apparently he didn't have his little orange book to read. Heh.
"Let's play something else. You always win at poker, Owl!" Genma pouted.
"I like games, ne?" Iruka said to Genma, teasing.
Genma turned green in remembrance. "Don't say that to me…you can still give me nightmares!"
"Heh." Iruka chuckled lightly.
"What?" Tenzō asked in confusion.
"You've never seen him work." Genma shuddered.
"Oh, I believe he'll have that opportunity, Tiger." Iruka said with a brilliant smile. "I'm counting on that."
"You know what, Owl?" Genma said. "Sometimes, you really frighten me."
Iruka laughed. "Come on, I'm just playing with you. Besides, aren't we all a little crazy sometimes?"
Iruka gathered up the cards and started shuffling them again.
"Let's play something else. How about 'Go Fish'…I find it oddly apropos." Iruka looked at Itachi and they smiled together at a private joke.
They played a few hands of Go Fish and Iruka won most of them. Even Tenzō had to admit, Iruka was very good at games.
"But how are you at games of skill; a strategic game like shogi?" Tenzō heard himself asking.
"Oh, I don't know. I think I do alright I guess." Iruka shrugged.
Itachi smirked, then smiled, and then outright laughed.
Genma, Tenzō and even Kakashi all looked in surprise at the Uchiha.
Iruka turned to Itachi and punched him in the shoulder. "You'll have to excuse him; he's prone to occasional outbursts of occasional smiling and laughter. He's the shame of his entire clan. It's terrible I know. What they will do without his constant output of glares and frowning, I will never know."
Itachi only laughed harder.
"What is with you, Hawk?" Iruka asked a hint of laugher in his voice.
"You said…that you 'do alright' at shogi…" Itachi said. "But I think you're trying to fleece poor Otter!" Itachi started laughing again. Iruka blushed at the accusation, which was probably true. "I mean…you beat me at shogi!"
Iruka started laughing too. Then reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. He looked sheepishly at Yamato. "Well, I suppose. Sorry Otter. Old habits…I'm used to not making much money teaching and using little extra bets from playing to supplement my earnings."
"Well I like to think I'm no slouch at shogi, Owl. I'll play you." Kakashi said, entering the conversation. Where he got a shogi board, kami only knew. But he brought one forward and laid it on the table and set it in front of Iruka as well as the pieces. It was like a dare. And no one dared Iruka and expected him to back down.
"Of course Hound-san." Iruka said. What Kakashi didn't know is that they had played shogi countless times and he knew exactly what the man would do and exactly how to beat him. In fact this was going to be simple. In eight moves Iruka already had Kakashi in a check position. Well, truthfully, he could've beaten him in about five moves but he didn't want to completely emasculate the copy-nin.
"Check." Iruka said.
Kakashi's face screwed up in a confused look behind his mask. Iruka could see it in his eyes.
Maybe he should draw this out. If he beat him too quickly maybe he would just get more interested. Although on the other hand…maybe if he made him look stupid in front of his peers, maybe he would go away and lick his tail between his legs.
Kakashi made his move. It wasn't a good choice. Too bad for The Great Sharingan no Kakashi.
"Checkmate." Iruka said and shrugged. "That was…fun."
Kakashi looked at him, really looked at him. In the eyes. It made Iruka uncomfortable because it made him remember all the years shared together. He gulped and broke eye contact, flustered, a familiar heat rising to his cheeks. He didn't want to be flustered by this man anymore. He wanted to be rid of him just like he had left him there to rot in that dungeon. Where he had abandoned him there to die, at the mercy of a man like Kisame. Like he had been rejected in the hospital like so much chuunin trash.
Instead he stood up and looked down at Kakashi, knowing his eyes were blazing with cold fury, unable to stop it.
"Sorry Hound-san, I may be annoying but I can at least outsmart you in this." Iruka tapped his head. "I'm going to go up to the top and get some fresh air. Come with me, Hawk?"
Iruka and Itachi leaned against the railings and watched the ocean as the boat crested through the water. They didn't speak. Iruka didn't really want to talk; he just wanted the young man's soothing presence. Itachi made him think clearer, more calmly. More rationally. Whereas being around Kakashi was like plucking a discordant note on a guitar.
"I love the ocean." Iruka said after a while.
"Have you been here before?" Itachi inquired.
"Just once, when I was a very young child." Iruka said quietly. "I always wanted to come back on a vacation. I always wanted to but with the wars…and there were always missions…just never any time." Iruka's voice trailed off sadly.
"Wars?" Itachi asked, one of his delicate eyebrows arched up.
"Smart boy." Iruka chuckled.
"I'm not a child."
"No, no you're not." Iruka answered truthfully. "I'm sorry, I think I say it more to myself than anything. I'm torturing myself over it, you know."
Itachi gave him an inscrutable look. Iruka chose to ignore it.
"Yatta!" Iruka turned away and pointed over the water. "Land ho! We can continue towards The Village Hidden in the Mist soon; I guess we should tell the others."
The boat docked and they were on their way. A short distance away from the ferry landing, they veered of the path and into the trees. They pulled out their gear and began changing into their ANBU outfits. Unselfconsciously, he dressed pulling together his clothing, putting on his gear and the securing his weaponry. He replaced his mask and turned to Itachi who helped him reattach both of his wakizashi blades and he helped Itachi attach his katana to the sheath at his back. It was all done wordlessly as they had helped each other dress countless times. Except he knew this time Kakashi was watching; he could feel his cyclops gaze on his back.
They each pulsed chakra into their feet and took off through the trees towards the last know place that Kisame was living. After a few hours, they found it. It was a lousy little dump, even looking at it objectively. You'd think someone who was a known member of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist as well as working for the Fourth Mizukage would live in a place that looked better than this dump. It was a crooked little house that slanted to the left and appeared to be leaking rain on most of the sides. It had two chimneys and smoke was coming out of one of them. There was a porch on the front and it was leaning heavily on one side. There was graffiti all over the house and trash littered all over the yard in front of it. Maybe it looked better on the inside.
"Tch. What a dump." Genma muttered.
Itachi and Kakashi were studying the house with their sharingan's. "One chakra signature. Upper left hand side. Probably the bedroom." Itachi said quietly. Kakashi murmured his agreement.
"He has a lot of chakra." Kakashi added.
Iruka contemplated telling them all about Kisame right then. He knew a lot that could possible assist should they actually getting into a confrontation with the man. But he was really hoping they didn't get into one. It was his hope they would just detain, torture and kill…without a battle.
"I'm going to get Ryuu out, now." Iruka said.
"All right!" Genma said excitedly. "Finally I can prove that I'm not worthless!"
"That's debatable." Kakashi laughed.
"Who is Ryuu?" Yamato asked curiously.
"My summon." Iruka smiled. "Would you like to meet him?" Iruka really hoped this wouldn't be a mistake of epic proportions.
"Sure, what is it? A kitten or something?" Kakashi said derisively.
"A chihuahua." Itachi said and Iruka knew he was smirking under the mask.
"Figures." Kakashi rolled his one eye. How did he manage to do that?
Iruka turned to Itachi and held up nine fingers. "That's joke number nine, Hawk. I'm so proud!" Tiger and Iruka chuckled then took a kunai and cut his thumb and preformed the seals: Bird. Dog. Bird. Monkey. Ram.
Ryuu appeared in loud pop and was floating around them lazily. He flapped his wings a few times, and then burped a fireball. "Hey Dolphin! What's up you interrupted an important nap! Hey Weasel. Hey Tiger, good to see you're not injured and helpless like a baby again. Remember that?"
"I told you it was just a lucky shot, Ryuu! You saw me on a bad day!" Genma groused.
Tenzō and Kakashi gaped openly at the dragon.
"I just remember having to carry you all the way back to Konoha like a baby…" Ryuu teased. "Bunch of gay ninjas!"
"Ryuu!" Iruka yelled and shook his fist at the dragon out of habit.
"So, what have you summoned me for Dolphin? Do we have more mist ninjas to kill?" Ryuu asked happily.
Iruka paused thoughtfully. "Actually you can come along and help us. Where is your hitai-ate that Hokage-sama gave you so that you look like a proper ninja-dragon?"
"It makes my horns all sweaty!" Ryuu whined.
"That's what your Mother said last night!" Genma said.
"Ha!" Ryuu rumbled with laughter, little puffs of smoke coming out his nostrils. "Good one!"
"Oh, come off it. Have you see these masks on our faces, Ryuu? My whole face is so friggen sweaty and it's hard to fight in these things. Give me a break. You get no sympathy from me. Put the damn thing on." Iruka's voice said sternly in his best sensei voice.
Ryuu put his hitai-ate on begrudgingly. Iruka reached up and readjusted it.
"There, now you look like a proper ninja, my friend. Besides you know it makes Sandaime feel more comfortable when you wear it." Iruka chided him kindly.
"Is that a real dragon, Owl?" Kakashi asked. He was standing next to Iruka.
"Yes. As real as Pakkun is a real pug or Bull is a real bulldog." Iruka said absently as he leaned over to check through his weapons pouches.
Ryuu knew these two names as Iruka had gone over in much agonizingly boring detail about his former life and he knew exactly who these two names belonged to. The dragon swelled up size turned slowly to glare menacingly at Kakashi. Two perfect smoke rings snorted out of Ryuu's nose. "Ahh…so I finally meet the Scarecrow! Where is your dirty little orange book? Ironic that you read straight porn even though you like to fuck-"
"What has Owl been telling you about me?" Kakashi said.
Iruka snapped his head up and smacked Ryuu upside the head painfully. "Yes, Ryuu, and I'll send you right back if you don't behave." He needed to talk to Ryuu but he couldn't really do that around all these people so he prepared a little piece of simple genjutsu and the touched Ryuu's forehead hoping it would work, hoping to push these words into Ryuu's thoughts:
Ryuu – you're right. I shouldn't be trying to recapture the past with Kakashi. I was completely wrong. I tried to talk to him when he returned and he completely rejected me. Worst still, he was very mean and hurtful and it went completely wrong. You were right. Now stop being a jerk and let's focus on the mission!
He ended the genjutsu, and then watched the dragon covertly to see his expression when he got out of the genjutsu. Ryuu opened his eyes, snorted some smoke and said to Iruka, "I told you so."
"Jerk." Iruka rolled his eyes. "I knew you'd say that."
"Bunch of gay ninjas." Ryuu said absently then looked at Yamato. "Who are you? Your eyes are weird."
"This is Otter." Iruka introduced. "He has very cool wood-jutsu. He can combine both water and earth. It's very clever!"
Tenzō looked at Iruka closely. Most people did not know that about him and he had certainly not done any jutsu's like that on their trip, so how would Owl know that?
Ryuu nodded and looked around the woods. "What are we doing, Dolphin?"
"Call me Owl right now, Ryuu!" Iruka said to the dragon patiently.
"All these names, so complicated." The dragon whined. "What difference does it make? Who am I eating?"
Iruka shrugged. "Were in Kirigakure no Sato. In that house is presumably Kisame Hoshigaki." He gave the dragon a warning look. Thankfully the dragon did not react even though he knew exactly who the ninja was and exactly who he was to Iruka. "It is a mission to interrogate torture and kill."
"Well, isn't this your lucky day." Ryuu said to him and it took Iruka a moment to realize that the dragon hadn't said it aloud. That it was another bit of genjutsu. A very well created one; he hadn't known the dragon could even do genjutsu. The dragon nodded to him.
"Yes, well, it is especially if I created the mission in the first place." Iruka replied to the dragon, a wicked smile teasing his features.
"Naughty, Dolphin." Ryuu said teasingly "Oh, and be careful."
"Of course, Ryuu-sama! That's why I've got you, right?" Iruka winked.
"And of course I can do genjutsu…and better than you. I can even train you if you'd like." The dragon offered.
Iruka smiled. "That would be great, Ryuu."
"We'll talk about it later." Ryuu said seriously and dropped the subject as well as the illusion.
Itachi was giving quick devise orders in an efficient manner. Tiger was to watch the front door. Hound and Otter were approaching from the roof. Hawk and Owl were entering from the back door with Ryuu in tow. They all entered and began systematically undoing the man's obsessively anal and very well constructed traps, wards and seals. It was likely that Kisame had already been alerted to their presence if he was home. Iruka tensed up and looked around the house. He had been wrong. It was, if possible, even more of a dump on the inside than it had been on the outside.
There was suddenly loud booming explosions and the sound of fighting. Upstairs. The three of them transported upstairs and appeared in the middle of the fight. Kakashi was fighting Kisame with some long range fire jutsu. Good. Iruka hoped he didn't use anything water based. Tenzō was using a wood jutsu trying to pin him down. Iruka caught Kisame's gaze and dropped the genjutsu on him that he had prepared. Then another and another until there was about fifteen layered over and over on top of one another. That might take the man a while to come out of. Then he looked around the room searching for Samehada. He was not leaving without it. The sword was too dangerous to leave lying around. It was on the wall in a place of honor, as expected, hung with obvious pride. Its wrappings tight and obviously lovingly done. Iruka picked it up curious if the weapon would allow his touch. The sword hummed beneath his hand, tingling. It did not buck or retreat. He grabbed it and slipped it over his shoulder.
Iruka turned around and spied Kisame lying on the floor, still subdued for the moment. Still in his genjutsu, as well as held down by Tenzō's wood jutsu.
Itachi was studying Kisame, a frown on his face. Ryuu was smiling at Iruka.
It was Kakashi who moved first. He walked over and started tying up Kisame with chakra wire.
"Are we going to torture him here or somewhere more private?" Kakashi asked.
"Definitely somewhere more private." Iruka said softly. "The woods, I believe."
A few minutes later they were in the woods a few miles from Kisame's dump of a house. Iruka laid down a very complex barrier ninjutsu on the ground around Kisame. There was a second barrier ninjutsu a few feet away, where he had laid Samehada down separately. He didn't want Kisame calling out for the sword during the torture. He also had Tenzō lay some protection over the sword as well, and stand by. He wasn't taking any chances.
"Tiger, you're welcome to go keep watch in the trees. I know you don't like this." Iruka paused turning towards the man. He put a hand on his shoulder. "It's not a weakness, either. I think it's one of your strengths."
Tiger sighed, and then nodded. "Thank-you. I'll take first watch." He took off for the trees.
Iruka looked down at Kisame who was tied up, spread eagled in the barrier circle. He grinned and couldn't suppress a small giggle. After all this time…he couldn't believe he was able to finally have the tables reversed.
"Itachi, give me all of your kunai's, please."
The younger man handed them over. There were about ten of them. He pocketed them, and then cracked his neck and then his knuckles. He stepped in the barrier circle and broke the genjutsu that was holding the mist ninja placid. Iruka pulled out both of his wakizashi blades with a swirl, twirling them a little in his hands with a flourish. He tapped Kisame brutally on the head with the butt of one of the blades.
"Wakey, wakey." Iruka said.
Kisame woke with a start and instantly started testing the bonds holding him. Iruka grinned down at him. He could feel him tugging insistently at the barrier.
"Who the fuck are you?" Kisame asked.
"It's irrelevant in the course of things." Iruka said with a shrug. He twirled the blade in his right hand and stabbed it through Kisame's right bicep. "But you may call me gakusei if you want to call me something."
The blue man grunted in pain then laughed brutally. "Not very sporting to stab an unarmed opponent. You must be very bad at what you do."
Iruka stabbed Kisame with his other blade in his left bicep.
"I won't tell you anything." Kisame said after a moment through thinned lips.
"I don't really expect you to, Kisame." Iruka said calmly as he arranged himself to sit on the man's chest so he could look down into his eyes.
The blue man stopped struggling and stared at Iruka, into his cold brown eyes.
"Who are you?" Kisame asked.
"Oh, Kisame, Kisame…Kisame…" Iruka shook his head and pulled out two kunai then quickly stabbed the man in both of his wrists. "It's perfectly understandable for you not to remember me. But I remember you. And that is truly all that matters."
Iruka leaned forward a little and stared down at him.
"We're going to play a little game, Kisame." He laughed. "I like games, ne?"
"Game?" The man looked confused.
"Yes, see if you catch on…I know you were never the sharpest kunai in the set, but maybe you'll figure it out…at some point…"
Iruka took out two more kunai and stabbed the blue man in each of his forearms, about two inches below the last part he stabbed, pinning the man down the ground. The mist nin grunted in pain.
"You're used to pain, I know. It's good for someone in your position. You probably even like it." Iruka stated, pulling two more kunai out with a flourish and stabbing them down about two more inches from the last two. "It was something I realized about you right away. Obviously a sadist, of course." He tilted his head as he spoke and looked at the blood on his hands. He whipped it away on his pants. "Maybe a masochist. What do you say Kisame? Does this feel good?"
Iruka preformed the jutsu for a kage bunshin and there was suddenly a second Iruka, who had more kunai his hands. He appeared on the other side of Kisame and he stabbed both of the blue ninja's feet in the ground. The man gasped in pain.
"Meh. Perhaps not." The second Iruka sighed.
Kisame started testing his bonds again in earnest.
The Iruka sitting on his chest stared down at him and giggled. "Oh, by the way Kisame-kun…Samehada will not come for you." Iruka whispered. "And that is that what you want, ne?"
The man stopped struggling and looked up at Iruka in surprise. "What the fuck do you know of Samehada?"
"Maa…I know more than you'd think, Kisame."
"Who are you?" Kisame asked demanded.
"I told you." Iruka smiled cruelly. "You can call gakusei."
"Who's student are you?" Kisame asked eyes wide.
Iruka leaned down and whispered in his ear so that only Kisame could hear: "Why yours of course."
"You're insane!" Kisame yelled.
The second Iruka leaned over and stabbed Kisame viciously with four kunai in the shins, in both of his legs.
"Tell us about the plot for the Fourth Mizukage to kill the Leaf Hokage." Iruka said after a few moments.
Kisame looked mildly startled, obviously this was the first he'd heard of such a plan. It was that look on his face that told Iruka everything he needed to know, more than any confession. It was just a small widening of his eyes, a tiny flaring of his gills, a twitch of his nose. But it was there. Iruka was exceptional at picking up small details like this.
"I will never tell you anything." Kisame said.
"Tell me the truth, Kisame…" Iruka said blandly, nodding, playing along. "I'll know if you're lying…"
"I will not break." Kisame repeated.
Of course Iruka knew there was no such plan, he'd made the whole thing up in order to come torture and kill Kisame. But he had to ask the questions. The dance must be performed in order to keep up appearances. He also knew that Kisame would never break. It was just the sort of person he was. He would take any secrets he had to the grave, no matter what pain he endured. It was something Iruka learned when he had started torturing people, ages ago, back when he was a genin. Something Ibiki had taught him. You could see it like a shadow in people's eyes, if they would be willing to sell their souls for the right price, for the right amount of pain or torture or degradation. And Kisame just didn't have that in him. He really wouldn't break.
Iruka nodded and a small smile teased at his features.
The second Iruka stabbed four more kunai deeply through Kisame's thighs. He was bleeding terribly into the ground. Iruka stood up and pulled his wakizashi blades out of Kisame's biceps, cleaned the blood off and sheathed them.
He turned around and realized not only Itachi but Kakashi and Yamato were still watching. Iruka shrugged. He didn't care, he was too focused on Kisame right now to care who was watching.
"I need more kunais." The second Iruka turned towards Yamato and Kakashi.
Yamato handed them over first.
"Thank-you, Otter." Iruka said with a smile.
Kakashi was giving him a hard look. Then he handed them over. "Thank-you, Hound."
The second Iruka divided up the kunais between the two Iruka's and then they both oddly quirked their head to the left as they studied the blue man.
"KisameHoshigaki, what is the plan to assassinate the Leaf Hokage?" The original Iruka asked calmly, all the while ferociously stabbing a kunai into the man's belly and twisting. It was a great jab; very precise - he missed all vital organs managing only actually to hit a very certain spot. The chakra center that ran through that part of Kisame's body. Of course that may have been for what Iruka was aiming for. Iruka had been an academy sensei, after all, and had all the chakra centers and chakra networks of a shinobi's body memorized thoroughly.
The moment passed and the blue mist ninja had passed out.
"Interruptions!" Iruka growled and held up his hand in frustration. "Always the interruptions!"
Then the second Iruka was handing him a canteen and he thanked him own clone. He slashed the water on Kisame's face and he sputtered awake.
"What the fuck!" Kisame shouted.
"That's what I was thinking." Iruka said. "I was just stabbing you a little and you passed out on me, Kisame! Bad form. I thought better of you, actually."
"Go fuck yourself." Kisame said roughly.
"I am pretty kinky; but I have better uses for my kage bunshin than that." Iruka snickered.
The second Iruka stabbed Kisame in another chakra point in his lower abdomen. Kisame groaned and bucked around while Iruka grinned down at him.
"I won't tell you anything, you know." Kisame said.
"I know." Iruka said and smiled happily.
"I will never break under torture." Kisame said, almost repeating himself.
"Yes, I know." Iruka nodded.
"This is entirely pointless." Kisame spat out some blood.
Iruka's laughter bubbled out joyously from both him and the second Iruka.
"Oh, no, Kisame-kun." Iruka said. "There is indeed a very good point to this."
Iruka stabbed him with the remaining kunai that he had until they were all gone. He was lucky that Kisame had so much chakra inside him otherwise this particular game wouldn't be advisable. No, most people couldn't take it. But Kisame had almost as much chakra inside him as a tailed beast. It was remarkable, really. And a pity that he chose to become allied with Akatsuki. Iruka sighed. Alas, he couldn't save everyone. He eyed the blue ninja who had passed out again. Yes, he was done; every major intersection of his chakra pathways was stabbed through with a kunai. He reached into his pouch and pulled out chakra wire and started tying a wire to link them all together. Then he stood back to admire his handwork.
The second Iruka tossed more water on Kisame's face. The ninja woke up, more groggily this time.
"Wha?" Kisame said dazedly. "Do kno nothn…"
Iruka kneeled in front of him and began healing him around the kunai. Not healing him a lot, but enough to bring him back so that he wasn't so out of it. He wanted him awake and alert for the next part. He didn't want him dazed and passing out. No, no, no. That wouldn't do. Not at all.
"I said I'm not telling you fucking anything!" Kisame roared. "Just kill me already!"
"What if I heal you and let you go, Kisame?" Iruka said sweetly. "They'll think you told us all your precious secrets."
The blue man actually looked perplexed at that.
"You guys are ANBU." Kisame said confidently. "You are not going to just let me go."
Iruka continued healing the blue man around the various kunai points. It was a gruesome sight to behold and he was in obvious pain, his body shivering and in various states of shock and nervous system failure. After a few moments of healing the man, Iruka rocked back on his heels to rest.
"Who are you?" Kisame asked again.
"I already told you." Iruka said.
"I've never met you before in my life." Kisame said. "And I'm pretty sure I would remember some sick fuck like you."
"Ahh…like music to my ears, Kisame." Iruka sighed, and then grinned. "Are you ready now?"
"Ready for what?" Kisame looked wary.
Iruka stood over Kisame. "Did you figure out the game, ne? The point of the kunais, my dear Kisame?"
Kisame nodded grimly. "They're in my chakra points, gakusei."
"Hai, Kisame. Maybe there is hope for you yet. The game is almost complete." Iruka laughed and clapped happily. "Well, I know you like sushi, Kisame…" Iruka and his clone both put their hands together ready to start forming seals.
"And we wanted to know…?" The second Iruka inquired.
"How do you like your sushi cooked…?" Iruka asked innocently.
Ox. Rabbit. Monkey.
Then the two of Iruka's had chidori in their hands like four bursts of blue lighting. There was a faint smell of ozone in the clearing the sound of birds chirping lightly and then Iruka holding small bursts of chidori down to the ends of the of the blue man, one at his arms, the other his feet at where the beginning and end of the wire met. The chakra wire lit up and glowed all along his body, as well as each of the kunais where it was imbedded into the man, burning into his skin, burning through into each of his chakra pathways and neural networks. Kisame screamed and howled then. It was a loud, guttural, high pitched scream. Inhuman. Iruka pulled his hands away and stopped. Kisame continued screaming and twitching, his body flailing about where he'd been pinned him to the ground. But then he stopped screaming except his body was smoking and smoldering. After a few moments Iruka leaned over and felt for a pulse. No pulse. He looked down at his smoking charred corpse and felt…nothing.
"Oh well, I guess that's the end of him." He sighed and dismissed the clone. "I thought I could've done it at least once more." Iruka reached up and scratched the back of his head. "Oh well…"
Iruka stalked over to the second barrier circle and squatted down next to Samehada, which was giving off a faint glowing in the night air.
"May I?" Iruka whispered to the sword then boldly grasped the hilt and picked it up. The sword accepted him and he smiled and ran his hand down its length.
"Nice to meet you, Samehada. My name is Umino Iruka. We are going to do good work together, I believe." He said in hushed, revenant tones. He was pleased. Samehada was one of the best things he had stolen, err…obtained from a besides Ryuu and the time-traveling scroll. He picked it up and strapped it to his back. It was oddly lighter than he thought it would be considering its size.
Tenzō was puking in the bushes. It took Iruka a moment to figure out why. "It's okay Otter. Well, you can go keep watch with Tiger if you want. I know some people can't take it."
"I can take torture but…that was hardly ethical, Owl." Yamato started, still gagging.
"Ethical? We're shinobi; ethics get in the way on missions." Iruka cut him off. "Besides…when you do enough interrogation you get a sixth-sense about these things. He was never going to give any information up."
"But what about honor-"
"Honor!" Iruka spat the word out. "Honor's nice and all, but this is interrogation. And honor doesn't mean shit. I want information. And I'll do anything to get it."
Iruka waved Tenzō away. "I've already had this discussion with Tiger. You can go talk to him about it behind my back if you'd like. I promise not to listen in." He sighed and turned to Kakashi who was glaring at him.
Tenzō or Yamato…whatever his name was, jumped up into the trees. Save me from the self-righteous, thought Iruka. He rolled his eyes, and then turned to Kakashi.
"What, you got something you want to say to me to, I suppose?" Iruka said belligerently.
"Besides the fact that you're sadistic fuck, apparently," Kakashi paused and pointed a finger at Iruka's chest. "How did you steal my chidori?"
Itachi took a step closer towards them.
Iruka cut Itachi off and advanced on Kakashi. "I didn't steal it, you ass. You should know by now that the only one who knows how to it is you so that obviously the only one who could have taught it to me was you, you idiot." He brushed Kakashi's hand off his chest.
"You could've watched me train while hidden in the forest or something." Kakashi said.
Iruka laughed merrily. "You realize how stupid that sounds, right?"
"Maybe you've been stalking me!" Kakashi leered, stepping closer to Iruka. "It also explains how you broke into my apartment and knew where to find my Icha Icha and my face masks. What kind of guy gives another guy a gift of porn after all?"
"Porn?" Itachi said quietly from behind them.
"I was trying to be nice! You were in the hospital, for kami sake!" Iruka yelled. "But I'll stop right now. I'll never be nice to you again. Trust me!"
"Don't get me wrong, Owl, that is my favorite of the series." Kakashi paused. "Just how did you know which porn novel I preferred again? Was it because you've been stalking me?"
"Arrgh! I've come across decomposed bodies that are less offensive that you are!" Iruka ground out, walking up close to Kakashi and put his hands on his hips in frustration.
"And the soup, that was a nice touch." Kakashi said. "Where did you get the recipe?"
Iruka snorted. "What difference does it make? You won't believe me anyways."
"Maa…you have to tell me." Kakashi said teasingly. "You broke into my apartment after all. Rooted around through my things. Maybe you went through my undergarments? I can never know. I can't let that go unpunished."
Iruka looked at his teasing mismatched eyes then bent over and laughed. "I can't believe you! You're self-centered and you spend more time in the company of dogs, smut and the dead than with actual people."
"You don't seem to be complaining." He countered.
"It was just a bowl of soup, Kashi. Get over it. Although I'm pretty sure I make it better than your precious Minato-sensei ever did." Iruka groused.
"What did you say?" Kakashi took another step closer; they were practically nose to nose.
"Oh, I'm sorry, is that a secret or something?" Iruka snorted again. Damn, he really should keep his trap shut.
"Who taught you those interrogation methods? Those are not ANBU techniques."
"What is this? Twenty questions?" Iruka poked a finger at Kakashi's chest again.
"I thought you liked games, ne?" He grabbed Iruka's hand and held it and looked into his eyes, searchingly. Iruka heard his own harsh intake of breath loudly in his own ears, the pounding of his blood rushing through his veins. He swallowed. Feeling Kakashi touching him again was…the memories overcrowding him were too painful. He was looking into his eyes. It was…too much. Thankfully the mask hid the telltale blush that he knew was now blooming all over his face. He knew he couldn't control his breathing though which was now rough and uneven. Damn you Kakashi. His heartbeat was beating unsteadily in his chest, the fluttering in his stomach was painful. His words choked in his throat.
"You wouldn't understand." Iruka muttered looking away.
"Pride goeth, Owl." Kakashi said as Iruka wrenched his hand away from his grasp. Iruka needed to be away from this man. He had a body to dismember and bury anyways.
"Hn." Itachi said quietly as he walked away from them into the woods.
A/N: Sorry this chapter took a little longer but as you can see it was longer than the others. Hope you enjoy. Don't you just love a love triangle? Ahh…the drama! Please Review: ^_^