Chapter 2

"We are live for Monday night Raw, at Madison Square Gardens." Jerry 'The King' Lawler announced as the wrestling show came on. Kyls heard the program from the kitchen and started to roll her eyes. It had been a couple of weeks and Jessica still had refused to talk about John just showing up out of nowhere. Actually she refused to talk about anything involving him at all minus him wrestling, but that 'John talk' as Kyls put it was limited to only Monday nights.

"I don't understand you one bit. You won't see him or talk to him in person, but you'll watch him wrestle on TV." Kylynn stated as she made herself a cup of tea.

"I wanna make sure he doesn't get hurt." Jessica answered as she stood in front of the microwave waiting for her popcorn to finish popping.

"Don't stand too close to that you might pop yourself." Kylynn said as she walked past her. Jessica turned and stuck her tongue out at her older sister.

"When are you gonna tell him, Jess?" Kylynn asked.

"Tell him what?"

"Are you kidding me? That. That right there." Kylynn pointed.

"I don't know. I'm just not ready to see him or talk to him. It hurts enough to just watch him on TV." Jessica said as she emptied her popcorn into a bowl and walked toward the living room.

She made herself comfortable setting Indian style on the couch while her popcorn balanced on her ever growing belly. She was nearly five months along and John didn't know. That was her exciting news that night he betrayed her. She was going to tell him that she had found out that they were expecting and she was three months along at the time, but instead he broke her heart before she could say a word.

Raw had come back from commercial and the Miz was out in the ring running his mouth like always. Jessica hated him dearly because all he could do on and off camera was talk about himself. He annoyed her more than anything, but for John's sake she had always tried to keep her mouth shut. Except for one time when the Miz had made a sexual comment to her about teaching her something in bed. She let her hand slip from John's and slapped Miz across the face so hard he fell to his ass. John stood behind her laughing and saying 'That's my girl.' A smile came to her face with that memory. Mike aka The Miz never really came around her after that and he had never looked her way again.

Raw that night wasn't too exciting, but with every match that past she was closer to seeing John. Finally, Jessica watched the match begin. It was the last one of the night and it was John Cena verse The Miz. She watched carefully making sure John landed properly every time. When he was slammed into the steel steps outside of the ring the terrifying memory of John against Dave Bautista came stabbing its way back into her mind.

She was at Summer Slam on August 17, 2008. It was a day that no matter what she did she could never really forget. She had watched from backstage as her boyfriend was Batista bombed in mid-air. She witnessed how John landed and she knew he was hurt instantly. It took four security/body guards to keep her from running out to his side. While fighting to get to his side she saw him kick out of the three count, then Batista kicked John in the head and gave him another Batista bomb. She prayed he would just lie still so he wouldn't get hurt anymore then what he already was. Then when the ref finally counted to three Jessica was relieved to know the match was over and she could get to his side. He was helped backstage were Jessica waited for him. Within days he had a serious surgery and was around seventy percent better. That was one of the scariest days she ever had with John. Ever since then she was terrified he would get hurt again, but he was doing what he loved and that was a good enough reason for her. She had never dreamed of holding him back or making him choose between her and wrestling. She loved the man and that meant all of him. However, John knew his limitations and knew how far he could really push his body so on all most anything involving wrestling she trusted his judgment.

"CENA HAS CHEATED AGAIN." Michael Cole screamed disturbing her memories.

"YEAH, he cheated fate and won again." Jerry stood smiling and gave John a round of applause.

"How is that fair? He made Alex Riley hit Miz with a chair." Cole informed.

"ARE YOU BLIND? ALL CENA DID WAS DUCK. IT'S NOT HIS FAULT RILEY WAS EVEN IN THE RING AND HAS POOR AIM." Jerry screamed at Cole. It seemed like the match had put more fuel on the disagreements between the two announcers.

"Whatever. We'll see next week if Cena gets lucky or if Miz gives him a chair shot of his own." Cole informed.

"Keep dreaming. Well, ladies and gentleman this was an amazing main event. We'll see you next Monday in Boston. Goodnight everyone." Jerry. announced.

"Well, I can say this about the guy. He is pretty talented." Kylynn said.

"Yes he is." Jessica whispered under her breath as she admired John standing on the ropes of the ring. When the next show came on she turned off the TV and the only link she was welling to keep to John was over until the following week. It broke her in pieces but she was still too hurt and stubborn to face him. She knew the day was coming and soon, but with it weighing heavily on her heart she climbed the stairs to her room. That night she had not a moment of peaceful sleep. From the second she closed her eyes memories of the two years they had shared together came flooding through her head. Like every other night for the last few nights.

All of the cities they had been to, all of the nights they had shared, even the few arguments they had had ran through her dreams. The slow dancing on a California beach in the moon light to the piggy back rides through the airports. Every second was consumed by John.

"I'm sorry. Please baby, don't leave me. Please, I'm begging you. I love YOU!" Those words echo through her until she shot straight up in her bed drenched in sweat. The look on John's face broke her in half, but he had broken her first. In a way she was punishing him for what he had done to her and their unborn child. She looked over to see the time on the clock; it read four thirty in the morning. However, it was her cell phone that had caught her attention. One new message.

'Hey it's me John. Listen I know you hate me and I don't blame you. I just want you to know that everything you saw that day was all that ever happened. I didn't want it to happen and I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry. I love you and I'm laying here thinking of you. That is all I ever do. I had something truly amazing and managed to fuck it all up. Most people wish they could have what I had, but I let it slip out of my life. I know you don't want anything to do with me and because of that I'm gonna leave you alone so you can move on with your life. I don't want to because I want you back but I'm not willing to make you be alone or miserable forever. Please forgive me for what I have done and please remember that no matter what is said or done that I love you with all my heart. Goodbye. ~John.'

His words hit her like a ton of bricks and tears started to pour out. She couldn't stop and knowing he was done fighting for her hurt more than she had ever imagined it would. She knew it was partly her fault for letting this mess go on for so long, but she was hurting. She slowly got up out of bed and went to her bathroom. Hoping that a shower would help wash away the regret she was feeling. After a while of standing under the warm water she washed herself and her hair then got out. She slipped into a fresh pair of pajamas and went to set in that same window seal watching the sun rise this time knowing she had let this whole thing go way too far and that she had lost him for good.

A knock came at the door later that morning and she flew down the stairs in hopes it was John just one last time, but when she pulled the door opened it was her step mom, Hope. Jessica opened the door wider for her to come in. She loved and respected Hope, but was disappointed to see her and not him instead.

"What's wrong baby?" Hope asked as she walked into the house.

"Nothing. I'm fine, just hormones."

"Don't let her lie to you mom. She was up all night crying. John sent her a message stating that he was gonna let her move on with her life and of course she's too damn stubborn to go after the man she loves. Plus get out of the house and stop driving me nuts." Kylynn said as Jessica and Hope entered the kitchen.

"Can I see the message?" Hope asked and with no fight left in her, Jessica handed her the cell phone. Hope read it carefully as they sat around the breakfast table. "Umm." Was all she said as she handed the phone back.

"What do you think she should do mom?" Kylynn asked.

"Well, speaking from a point of view where I don't have my husband with me very often. I think you should go after him. You don't want to live your life wondering what if." Hope said.

"Are you all forgetting what he did that put us into the position that we're in now? He cheated on me."

"How do you know what he said isn't true?" Kyls questioned.

"Are you kidding me? I saw them kissing." Jessica claimed getting aggregated with no one seeing her side.

"Yes, but how do you know what he said isn't true? Lisa is a back stabbing bitch. How do you know she didn't just grab John and kiss him?

"She's right. Lisa has tried to get in between you two since day one." Hope declared.

"Mom, I can't just…" Was all Jessica got out before her mother put her hand up in the air to stop any excuse from coming out any further.

"Your father is overseas in the marines and I wish and pray every day that I could wake up beside him. You have that option. Why not take it?" Hope asked

"I…"

"Let me ask it this away. Do you still love him with all your heart? Do you see yourself with anyone else? Is he the one you see in the backyard playing with your child?" Hope asked. Jessica thought for a second. She knew she could never love again like she loved John.

"Yes. I still love him with all my heart. No, I can't picture anyone else in my life and I would love to see him with our child, but it's too late. It's over." Jessica said as more tears threatened to come screaming out.

"It's never too late and besides a life without love is no life worth living. Most people dream about the love you were so lucky to find. Why let it slip away? Go after him and show him how much you still love him. Because you know how much he loves you but he is just praying that you still love him." With that said it was as if the rain had stopped, the sun had come out and the end of the rainbow was insight.

Jessica got up and walked out of the room. Hope and Kylynn looked at each other before following her. They found her up in her room pulling clothes out of her closet and putting them in a suit case. Without being asked Kylynn went into Jess' bathroom to retrieve the stuff she would need. Hope took everything out of the suit case, refolded it and placed it neatly back in. After fifteen minutes Jessica had a shoulder bag and medium sized suit case packed and ready to go. She was on the phone with the airline, trying to book a ticket from Jacksonville to Boston, Massachusetts where she knew he would be. Moments later she looked at the other two women in the room with a strange look.

"The only flight is leaving in two hours." Jessica said with defeat laced in her voice.

"Book it." Hope said as her and Kylynn grabbed the bags and headed down the stairs. Jessica finished up and grabbed her hoodie following closely after them. It normally took them an hour to get to the airport, but today it only took twenty-five minutes. Hope had speed the whole way. They rushed inside and paid for the ticket. After saying goodbye Jessica quickly went through security. Well, as quickly as you can go through security at the airport. She made it to the gate just in the nick of time. Thanking God for answering at least that prayer. She settled into her seat for a long flight. The total trip would be nearly six hours long. She was flying from Jacksonville to Charlotte, North Carolina. Then getting on another flight from Charlotte to Boston, and driving the hour to West Newbury where she knew John would be at his father's house.

When Jessica landed in Charlotte she quickly walked to her next gate. She had about forty-five minutes before passengers would start loading on to the plane, so she sat near the window watching other planes take off and land.

She was so lost in her own thoughts that she barely heard the announcements being called out.

"We are now boarding passengers for flight US Airway 2450 Charlotte to Boston." Came over the loud speaker as both women stood up and walked to the terminal. One by one everyone loaded into the plane and like clockwork they took off at exactly noon.

The flight went relatively smooth, however Jessica couldn't stop fidgeting. She had made herself so nervous that her stomach became upset and as if it wasn't hard enough on her she kept reading John's message over and over again. It had burned into her soul. She thought she was ready to give him up, but with one text message he pulled her back in without even trying. She loved him more then what she thought was possible and when she landed in Boston her heart started to beat even faster knowing he was in the same state and only an hour away. She was thankful she could skip baggage claim, and quietly thanked her mother for packing her stuff in a smaller suit case to where she could carry it on. She didn't even want to waste time in the car rental line so she quickly walked outside to grab a cab. As soon as she climbed into the cab and was on her way she had the unbearable thought pop into her head. What if John didn't want her anymore and that message was just the nice way to say it? What if he had another woman in his life? How was she going to handle that, but it was too late she was already heading out of Boston and toward West Newbury.