Chapter 5
Crabbe started on U-may almost immediately. Pinching and poking seemed to be his idea of making game of a little girl. U-may turned a flat unfriendly stare on him.
"Desist" she said coldly.
"Or what? You're all alone, I can get you any time I want" taunted Crabbe.
U-may did not muck about.
She promptly turned into a snake and bit him.
Crabbe screamed in pain and terror.
"Serve you right, Crabbe" laughed Nathan "Say, U-may, did you really poison him? I mean in any way sort of fatally?"
U-may, resuming her normal form, regarded Crabbe.
"Suppose we all watch him and find out if he drops dead or not?" she said coldly "It'd be more fun not knowing; more a surprise than any kind of anticipation."
Crabbe screamed in real fear.
It brought Madam Hardbroom to see what was going on.
"Mr Crabbe, WHAT is this noise about?" she demanded. Connie had not so far been favourably impressed by anyone of the surname 'Crabbe'; and Leo, as a Marauder, had apprised her, off the record, of what had happened in Diagon Alley.
"She POISONED me!" cried Walter, pointing at U-may.
"How?" asked Connie.
"I bit him" said U-may. She did not bother to say that she was in snake form.
Connie blinked.
"NOT a very ladylike thing to do" she said.
"It was retaliation" said U-may "It is not done to sneak; this my honoured father tells me, but I had good reason. This person is someone I despise wholeheartedly. He should be staked out for the carrion birds."
"We generally do not enact those sorts of barbarities in England" said Connie.
"Please Madam Hardbroom, find out what venom she stung me with and cure it!" sobbed Crabbe.
"Excuse me? Venom? Stung? I understood she bit you."
"I was in the form of a snake at the time" volunteered U-may. "I have not stung him. Snakes don't sting. Snakes bite. He is stupid and ignorant as well as bestial and nasty."
"Good gracious me!" said Connie "An animagus so young? Dear me!" she pointed her wand at Crabbe and cast the Revellaspell; then swung round on U-may.
"You injected no venom at all" she said.
"Oh dear, did I forget? How silly of me" said U-may "If this nasty animal makes me feel like I need to bite him again I shan't make such a mistake another time."
Connie felt rather lost.
On the one hand she should punish U-may for causing the boy so much fear; and for her laconic air of sardonic humour at his expense. On the other hand such a punishment of fear was probably no less than the little monster deserved.
"I – I think you should each seek out the Kipling poems in the library and write me thirty times the second verse of 'The female of the species'; Mr Crabbe to give you an understanding that when you attempt to pick on what you think to be weak you may be making a mistake; and Miss Naga as a punishment for over-reacting."
"Yes Madam Hardbroom" said U-may with cool tractability.
"But I'M the one who was attacked, why should I be punished?" whined Crabbe.
Connie regarded him almost as inscrutably as U-may.
"Because you obviously did something to deserve it" she said "I know your kind Mr Crabbe; and I am not impressed with a boy who picks on little girls. There is something inherently unmanly in it. Try not to irritate the more talented transfigurationists among the prefects; they may be struck by your lack of manliness and come up with an appropriate transfiguration. If you whine any more I shall double your impot" she added sharply as he opened his mouth again.
When she had swept out Bella said,
"I can tell you the verse if you like U-may without having to go to the library; I like Kipling."
"Crumbs, Bella, I never knew you Kippled!" joked Mimi.
Bella stuck her tongue out and murmured low enough for U-may to quickly write down, without Crabbe overhearing,
"When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male."
U-may nodded.
"Thank you" she said.
It was a surprise to Bella and Mimi and Drusillina that U-may was also an animagus; but why not? She was a natural Parselmouth after all.
It was not such a surprise to them as it had been to Crabbe!
Nathan and co now had a perfect target for the automatic robe roller; and Walter Crabbe duly went into breakfast with his school robes in the process of being rolled.
It was a little wasted; he had full uniform on as well.
Still, it would do another time; in his quidditch robes say.
They retrieved the toy hastily before he noticed.
The clockwork earthquake might have more effect.
Charity Burbage was a kindly old woman and her class was generally seen as one to at least relax in; but even she had to take a boy to task when he appeared to heave and shake every few moments.
"Dear me, what ever is the matter Mr er….?" She asked.
"Someone had cast the hurling hex on my chair!" declared Crabbe.
"That's something to hold in reserve at that" Nathan muttered to Isambard behind his hand.
Charity Burbage was not the most talented of witches; but she thought herself capable of dejinxing any first year's spell.
"Finite incantatem!" she cast the spell that would end all spell effects.
The clockwork earthquake gave another convulsive hiccup.
The rest of the class were in fits of giggles.
"Well dear, if someone is talented enough to defeat the spell-ending charm you had better change chairs" said Madam Burbage kindly.
Crabbe sulkily got another chair; which, because he was too lazy to move his books, he replaced in the same place.
The conspirators were in silent whoops as they waited for the clockwork earthquake to start its business. It was a brilliant piece of kit, a mere net of enchanted steel mesh, fine enough not to be easily noticed in shadow, and sundry strands shortened on the reel they all ran to in convulsive jerks strong enough to lift even quite heavy things. Without goblin steel it would be impossible to manufacture; and those of mischief bent hugged themselves that they would be able to study the manufacture of goblin metals in school later in their career and duplicate such things!
There were goblins who preached the unwisdom in showing the arts to wizards even in exchange for changing the law on wand use, lest they make their own magical weapons and turn again on goblins; perhaps it was just as well that such worthies had no idea that the sole idea of some of the young wizards keen to learn their secrets was to apply it to better jokes and toys.
It should be made clear straight away that letting the Malfoy boy have a selection of beta-test toys from the fertile brain of Garjala at a considerable discount increased the profit margin of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes by some eighty per cent over the next year.
Finally the earthquake ran down and Crabbe might study in peace – not that he intended paying any attention in Muggle Studies anyway – just in time for the bell to go.
Ancient runes was next; and no real time to reset the earthquake.
It had however exceeded expectations.
"Crumbs, what a lark to set it up under a chair where a big boy has his girlfriend on his lap canoodling!" said Nathan "Really, I mean, would the earth move for them?"
Crabbe survived Ancient Runes unscathed; unless one counted Nathan carving 'Crabbe Stinks' in Oghams on the desk corner. Nathan already read Ogham; Lucius had taught him when he had asked some years before and it had seemed worth brushing up.
After break it was to be their first introduction to Defence Against the Dark Arts with Uncle Remus. Professor Lupin rather. Remus was married to cousin Tonks and little Andromeda was named after Tonks' mother, mother-Narcissa's sister. Nathan did not think it in the least bit strange having more than one mother; he was used to it. He was not sure if he was envious of chaps who only had one and could therefore get away with more; or felt sorry for them because there were less people around to play with you or look after you if you felt unwell. There was nobody like mothers if a chap felt unwell. Nursery elves just didn't read stories or give cuddles the same, though Lala, Dad's old nurse and Dobby's mum, was fairly fine. Reedy tried hard but she was more inclined to scold. Nathan thought Reedy might be Dobby's big sister; he had never dared to ask the managing little elf.
But even so, there was nothing like mums. He wondered if Crabbe had a mum. He couldn't bear to think how ashamed his mums would be if he was as nasty as Crabbe; and that would make him even more bitterly ashamed and determined to improve! Perhaps Crabbe didn't have a mum. If so that was awful.
He asked,
"Crabbe, do you have a mum?"
Crabbe stared.
"Yes of course I do!" he said "A proper one, not a scarlet woman like yours! MY mum is married to my dad!"
Nathan stared.
"So's mine" he said "All my mums are!"
"No they're not, you're just a bastard!" said Crabbe delighted to find something to taunt Malfoy about.
"You are an prize idiot" said Nathan scornfully "You don't know what you're talking about."
It stopped being satisfying to taunt when your taunts were treated scornfully as idiocy.
Professor Lupin brought the class to a debate over what constituted a Dark Creature; they were a bright bunch and rapidly got to the point that it was intent that made a creature Dark or otherwise; and Lupin added that the same went for Dark Wizards too.
Nathan put his hand up; and Lupin smiled encouragingly.
"Please sir, is Dark Intent born in some people?" asked Nathan "Or is it a sickness of the mind that can make kids LIKE hurting others? Because it seems unnatural to me that there are kids my age who actually delight in and laugh at other kids smaller than them being hurt. I wondered if it was a sickness of the mind rather than a dark nature."
Lupin looked at him sharply. He had picked up enough legilimensy from Severus to see the boy's genuine struggle and concern. His animagus sharpened senses also picked up Crabbe muttering 'I'll get you for that Malfoy'.
"Yes, Mr Malfoy, I can see that to a normal, well balanced child with a happy and stable home life the concept of sadism – the proper term for what I think you struggle to express – is an alien one. It is caused by one or more factors and without studying the unfortunate child involved – and yes I do mean unfortunate – it is difficult to see which cause or causes may have led to this. Those children who have seen nothing but violence know no other way of expressing themselves; those children who have been reared by evil adults and taught such things are also morally and socially disadvantaged by knowing nothing else. But sometimes there are those children born who have as you describe it a sickness of the mind; and although in normal happy surroundings still CHOOSE such monstrous acts as pulling wings off fairies or tying noisy things to the tails of cats or running pins into their younger siblings or whatever. Such individuals are sick and not really fully human until they have sought help to adjust themselves to society. Unfortunately there are those parents who, not wishing to accept the reality that they have spawned a monster, try to laugh it off as 'childish pranks' and refuse to accept and see the warning signs. This is rare however; and most children who have started bullying by your tender age have very real disadvantages in their home life and should be pitied for their inability to interact without violence. If such individuals reach out and seek help it is not too late for them to learn normal behaviour. I can only suggest that if you know any such you react to their actions with sympathy and try to understand what it is that causes such aberrant actions."
"So just jinxing them into a ball isn't an answer sir?"
Lupin sighed.
"If a bully will not respond the only way you can deal with them is by showing that their bullying behaviour is not going to touch you. Sometimes that means jinxing them into a ball – that's one of Draco's phrases – until they learn not to pick on you or those you hold dear. A bully who WILL not learn to modify his – or her – behaviour has then to be taught that society will not tolerate his actions, that he be shown that he will not get away with trying to be another Voldemort. Voldemort – Tom Riddle – was already torturing fellow orphans and their pets before he came to school. He however was clever enough to hide his predilections for causing pain from the rather foolish Headmaster of the time and exerted his not inconsiderable charm of manner instead and learned the insidious skills of mental torture through the giving or withholding of his approval and friendship to his satellites. The first Deatheaters. One has to pity Deatheaters in a way; the insidious snares of adoration for a strong and forceful character allied with the extremely skilled playing of little resentments on the part of Riddle twisted his victims into a profound mental slavery even before he added layers of compulsions. Few Deatheaters were strong enough to recognise those mental shackles for what they were, forged as they were in formative and vulnerable teenage years with the light hand of a master of cruelty. We revere the two that got away, Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy – yes, your father, Nathan – and who volunteered to pretend still to worship at his sick throne to help bring about his downfall."
Nathan was proud of his father and beamed.
"So does that mean, sir" asked Jingjie "That all evil wizards got their mental knickers in a twist and should be pitied?"
"By no means" said Lupin "The deatheaters were to be pitied – to an extent. But those who were revolted by what they were being made into went to the strongest wizard they knew – Professor Dumbledore – and asked for aid to get free. Some younger ones SAW what Riddle was doing to their elders; and foreswore his traps. Harry Potter carried a portion of Voldemort's consciousness in his own mind from the time that his mother's sacrifice bounced the killing curse; and he resisted all attempts to control him. The ones who were trapped were weak; because of incidents that had weakened them; because of being weak characters; or because of having become bullies already because of the awful conditions of their home lives. And that can run through all society, high and low, rich and poor, wizarding and muggle, human and goblin. Bullies run in generations; when a child grows up knowing nothing but violence and seeing his sire get his own way by bullying what else does he know? What else does he know to pass on to HIS child? But the intelligent can see that this is not looked on as acceptable; and CHOOSE to step aside to a better path. Evil or good or the rather flabby indifference that most people end up with is a matter of choice. And before the bell goes, let me leave those of you who are inclined to the state of flabby indifference with a thought. All it needs for evil to triumph is for good men to stay silent. Very well, take down an essay title, 'what I would like to do to the person I dislike most and how likely I am to do it."
That ought to produce some interesting answers; and throw up perhaps the one Nathan meant, presumably the Crabbe boy. If he was sick in the head, he would probably not be able to resist gloating about what he wanted to do; nor would he know or understand if such was monstrous.
Now that the law had been finally introduced to permit the Headmaster to recommend medical aid for the mentally sick and to recommend the removal of a child from damaging parents something might be done for the boy.
Unless the boy was merely nasty; in which case only social pressure might be hoped to have any effect.
Crabbe sneered at Nathan.
"I so am going to enjoy writing about what I want to do to you, trying to make me look stupid!"
"Actually" said Nathan "I was trying to understand why you're such a stupid git and wondered if it's your fault or not. Because I can't imagine being such a miserable little creep as you. Funnily enough I'm kinda sorry for you."
"It's wasted, Nathan" said U-may. "I'm going to write about making him beg me not to bite him and then how I reveal it's all on the wizarding wireless so everyone knows that he's a squirming little coward so he can't ever bully anyone again 'cos you can't fear a coward and pain is only pain."
"Ridicule is generally a good weapon to use" agreed Nathan solemnly "People who like to tyrannize don't like being laughed at. Mind you, Crabbe, I notice you knew immediately who I meant when I talked about sick individuals; maybe if you acknowledged that you ARE sick, the Professors could help you overcome it; we'd all put past behind us and help."
"Maybe" said U-may.
"Is he sick? In what way?" asked Wanda Waffling. "We'll help of course, Malfoy."
"I'm NOT sick!" declared Crabbe.
"He is too" said Nathan "What normal kid gives a beggar a coin that's been heated up to burn?"
"Lumme! That sounds pretty sick to me!" said Wanda, gazing on Crabbe with horrified fascination.
Crabbe spat at her.
That was too much for any good intentions of well-meaning weevils; and Crabbe missed dinner for being covered in tiny tentacles, boneless and dark brownish purple.
Nathan had got experimental and pulled out Aubergine Kadavra just for shits and giggles.
Professor Flitwick discovered, and restored, Crabbe in time for the first Charms lesson and all were too busy on the complexities of locomotor charms to think much about Crabbe.
It was care of Magical Beasts next, with Hagrid.
"We're lookin' at bowtruckles here t'day" said Hagrid "Very important t' know how t' handle bowtruckles, have yer eyes out they can if they feel under attack, yeah, and they favour wand trees so any one cutting wand wood they see as attackin' them see?"
He held up a tank with several of the little stick-men figures.
Charis raised a hand.
"Are they related to fairies sir?" she asked.
Hagrid scratched his head noisily.
"Well now, they're part of the fey creatures in broad" he said cautiously "That cover a whole lot though. It's a distant relationship, but yeah, they are, kinda."
Some of the children found Hagrid rather unnerving; partly because they associated him with their first approach to this new school; partly because he was so large; and partly because of his uneducated speech.
"Please sir, can I ask a question unrelated to bowtruckles?" said Jingjie
"Well if that's to do with animals, you may. You must be Mr Chang" said Hagrid.
"It is sir. My dad heard a rumour that when we choose electives we'll be able to choose one of two paths, care of generalised magical creatures and care of domesticated magical creatures, is that true?"
"Well it might very well be, Mr Chang, but y'know if it is them as is teaching about it is always the last t'hear what the ministry has t'say. The troubles Professor Snape had over the bees they got in their bonnets over regulation lengths for cauldron stirrers! Then there was the ministry decision that DADA oughta be theory only….THAT didn't last long when it turned out the idea were brought about by a Deatheater what had infiltrated the ministry…. I know Mr Hawke and Mr Abraxus Malfoy put the idea forward as being more sensible-like t'train effectively steed handlers different to say dragon handlers; and that make a lot of sense. Reckon if they do, Professor Dumbledore'll have a second teacher in, 'cos I can't see how t'work it otherwise."
"Thank you sir" said Jingjie. It did not really answer his question; but that the idea had been put forward – and by influential types like Malfoys – meant that the rumour was probably true.
The lesson proceeded without any more ado, with Hagrid demonstrating how to bribe bowtruckles with fairy eggs or woodlice – the word had several people look round at Crabbe – and how to hold them without breaking them. This was to be a practical later in the term; feeding them was the first thing to master.
Crabbe took great delight in offering fairy eggs then snatching them back to tease the little creatures.
He had no idea how fast they could move and soon yelped in pain as the sharp, bark-tearing fingernails pierced his thumb and he was also well bitten before the eggs were snatched from him.
Hagrid came over with a soothing cream.
"Oh dear!" he said "Reckon they musta thought you moved too aggressive-like or wasn't fast enough with them eggs!"
Nobody told on Crabbe; but they all thought it served him right.
It also served him right that he decided to get 'revenge' on Hagrid by hurting his pet Pekes.
Fang was too big and scared the boy; he was not to know what a coward the big boarhound was.
Fang was quite happy to see someone do unpleasantness to the Pekes; he loathed them cordially. Unfortunately for Crabbe, the one he seized was definitely one of the blast-ended Pekes left from Krait's hurried – and not perfect – transfiguration from Blast-ended Screwts and as he grabbed the creature's tail to tie it to a selection of bottles the animal let fly with a burst of flame a good foot long and Crabbe, right in the firing line, sustained a very nasty burn.
He had trouble explaining to Madam Pomfrey how he came by it too.
Madam Pomfrey was rotten to him, decided Crabbe. She had asked awkward questions and made him squirm; and when he had confessed it was one of those stupid little dogs she had told him he had no right to be anywhere near the blast-ended Pekes and it served him right.
For a burn of such severity he had to have been a LOT closer than he had any right to be; and Madam Pomfrey had been patching up children for too many school generations who had sobbed that their wounds were got at the hands of a child called 'Crabbe' of one kind or another to have any illusions that he had merely wanted to play with the dogs.
The flame producing effect seemed to breed true too; Alice Trumball Hagrid had needed a soothing cream from the puppies she was helping to wean.
Still they were better than skrewts.
Crabbe knew nothing of this; only that he felt hard done by and resented Madam Pomfrey. And a child in Hufflepuff had the same surname; so he would take out his frustrations on HER.
Gentle little Heloise Pomfrey was an easy target for a boy who liked sly nips and pinches and pokes with the sharper arithmantic instruments; she cried quietly in the loo so as not to make anyone else notice her.
Fortunately for Heloise she was discovered by an older Hufflepuff, Martha Bones, a luminary of the MSHG who was also a member of the two several-house wide gangs of that year; and who was on good terms with the other gang who had more members in Slytherin house and influence with the rest. Once little Heloise had been induced to sob out what was wrong, Martha promised her it was as good as fixed.
Shortly thereafter, eight of the nine Slytherin second approached Crabbe.
Two of them were goblins.
Cecil Burke was the spokesman; and once Crabbe was hoisted by one ankle he spoke.
"Look here, Crabbe, we don't like the way you tried to get at Heloise Pomfrey; just because she's a Huffer doesn't mean there aren't people looking out for her. And anyone else for that matter. But it's despicable to pick on the relative of a staff member just because you know that honour forbids them to rat you up. Heard you picked on U-may too for the same reason. But just to make it clear, if ANYTHING happens to upset or discommode Heloise we'll hold YOU directly responsible. And that is NOT something you are going to like one little bit. Do I make myself er, pellucidly clear?"
"I don't know what you mean Burke" said Crabbe sulkily "And you're only the son of a convict, you can't talk to anyone."
"No, they haven't caught your father – yet" said Zajala Malfoy-Tobak. "They will. Well as it isn't clear maybe we should leave you there until it is; c'mon oiks."
And they left him dangling.
It was an hour or so before they turned up again and asked,
"Clear yet?"
"Yes" said Crabbe sulkily; mostly because he wanted to be released.
He dropped rather bruisingly to the floor.
"Good; make sure you remember it" said Burke coldly.
It had never occurred to Crabbe that honour would forbid the relative of a staff member to rat him up; he had no honour. It was also news to him that U-may was a relative of a staff member and he wondered who!
His essay for Professor Lupin had a lot of people he wanted to discommode, rotters who didn't do what he wanted and who stopped him having fun because people were made to be victims for a reason, it wasn't bullying to hurt victims they were born in that position for the strong to exert their will on them. And the ones who interfered with that ought to be victims and be tied up and burned with a wand until they realised that they were victims and begged and then they could be properly disciplined.
He enjoyed writing; it was quite cathartic after all the strains of the first day at Hogwarts and the inadequacies of those around him to recognise what he was.
And when Remus Lupin read it later it struck a chill into his heart that had him taking the essay directly to Professor Dumbledore.
Albus Dumbledore read through the essay with mounting concern and horror.
"What made you set such a departure of an essay title, Remus?" he asked.
"A remark the Malfoy boy made – a question he asked" said Remus "And I recall a couple of years ago disciplining his sister Erica for making a sotto voce comment about which of two people she disliked was merely nasty and which was a dark creature. I believe the one she apostrophised as being a dark creature was that Parkinson girl you had to expel. I know you considered her a failure. If it IS a mental illness, I thought it was better to catch it early and see if anything can be done."
Dumbledore nodded.
"Very wise, Remus. He sounds a veritable little monster; but if it is curable we must do all we can to help the child. I will take this essay to the experts in St Mungo's and see what they have to say. I'm going to ask you to forget to hand the rest back too until I have an answer."
"Certainly Albus" said Remus. "If they cannot help him there I will feel less uncomfortable about the likelihood that he too will be heading for expulsion."
"Having such a younger brother cannot have made it easier for Victor" said Dumbledore. "I have half a mind to write to the boy and ask if he has had a chance to reflect why his callous actions were so abhorrent; and ask if he wants to come and see me and talk through how his little monster of a brother has contributed to unacceptable behaviour. I cannot have him back here because of little Amabel Keilly; but I would be prepared to negotiate with Severus to take him for OWLs and sixth form."
Remus nodded.
"It might almost have been a plea for help; and as much a desire to have attention as it was on the part of the girls who were foolish enough to let him go further that was proper with them" he said. "And if the little monster always got his way, maybe a desire to get HIS way somehow?"
Dumbledore nodded.
"He was unrepentant; but some months on it may be that he is willing to listen. For I wager his home life is miserable; what I have heard is that baby Walter is just the perfect one and can do no wrong. For the imperfect one to be expelled must be traumatic. Indeed, I think I shall visit the boy."
Victor was a much chastened youth; indeed he sobbed all over Professor Dumbeldore that he had not realised that he was acting like Walter until Madam Hardbroom had called him a using spoiled brat and then it was too late.
"It is not too late" said Dumbeldore kindly "I cannot have you back in Hogwarts; but I CAN ask Severus Snape to take you – and put you down a year so you can take your OWLs! – and give you a fresh start with a majority who do not know you. I will rely on him to ask his daughter Jade and her friends to keep anything they know quiet; and to give you every chance!"
"Jade's always ready to jump on people she doesn't think behave well" said Victor dully.
"And equally ready to give them a chance if they try to make good" said Dumbledore. "As she did with Dympna Burke you know! You have found out for yourself that sexual gratification is no substitute for friendship; there is only one boy in the year and I expect if you are honest with him – for honesty wins loyalty – he will stand by you and help you to fit in. I have to clear it with Professor Snape; but I am sure he will be amenable. He always said there was more potential to you than you chose to show the world you know" he added mendaciously. "Compared the way your potential was squashed to Harry Potter with his bullying guardians." What Severus had said was that the Crabbe boy irritated him because he was too shut in on himself to make anything much of himself like a belligerent Harry. It was close enough; and Dumbledore meant to inform Severus what he had doubtless MEANT to say, and hid a grin at the waspish comments Severus would have on THAT score.
Severus after all would never deny a boy a second chance if he, Albus, declared him truly ready to take it; he was the last person in the world to do so.
Victor was gratified at the comment; as Albus guessed he might be.
"He said that sir? Oh sir, if he hadn't gone I might not have gone so far…. He could make you feel disciplined without it being a chore or hardship….Madam Hardbroom isn't half the man Professor Snape is!"
Dumbledore chose not to point out the logical inconsistency in that statement and sighed, himself, for Severus; Connie was a most excellent potioneer, and strict enough with little ones and girls but Severus had kept Slytherin House on the straight path since he found it fully for himself and ruled it with a rod of iron.
He deserved his own school.
But Hogwarts missed him sorely!