Hi, thanks for your reviews. I really appreciated them and now on with the second chapter.

Chapter Two

(Ziva)

Sometimes you discover secretive things about your friends. You can just be searching for a book, or maybe returning a pen to the stand upon their desk when you come across a small detail that startles you. And then you begin to wonder what it means. It nags at you, plays at your nerves and corrupts your mind set till you reach to a point where you begin to have questions buzzing around your head as that person stands before you or you simply talk to them.

As I stood by the glass window overlooking the Navy Yard, the street below and the passersby, a cold chill whipped in and around me. And I hugged myself, feeling my cheeks grow numb and the pores on my skin lift up.

In simple terms, we had still found nothing. And when I say nothing I mean that McGee and I had gone over everything we had. We had even tried several people from the Directory that had Vault's last name: Lee. But there was no success.

Gibbs had been down in Abby's lab for almost an hour and we were just anticipating his angered arrival. Even poor McGee had quickly gotten up to go use the washroom two times since Gibbs left, out of nervousness. And I was prepared to place my cards on the table, betting that Gibbs would attack McGee as soon as he came into the Squad Room.

And so that was the exact time when I decided to walk over to my desk to take up my cellphone to see if Ray had called. On my way there, I forgot that the window had been left open so naturally the wind swept in, rushing across the desks surfaces. Immediately a brown file opened that was lying on the boss' desk and several sheets of paper went flying about.

You should have seen my darting to and fro to collect them one by one. And it was until I had gathered them all and was stacking them edge to edge upon his desk when I came across another curious sheet of paper that was peeking out of his desk drawer. He had probably forced it in without even checking to see if the drawer closed properly. Along the lines looped handwriting fit for a female and being the curious person I was, I found myself taking it up, looking around as I did. My eyes then darted from left to right as I quickly read the lines. And with every line I read, my lips moved into a smile, and then my eyes grew wider, said lips parted from simple shock until I was forced to slam said paper unto the desk. Looking around I stepped silently and smoothly back to my desk and sat there breathing in and out slowly. Then as my nerves got the worst of me, I sprang up and went to stand by the window, my cheeks coloring as the words played back in my head.

Here is what I read:

Dear Jeth,

We can't play this anymore like you want us to. I for one cannot go on being the one who seems to always be discovering secrets about you. It's disturbing to be the one asking questions about everything, finding out that your truths are indeed left to me to force them out of you.

You're like a puppy that needs teasing before he can play with you. If I don't play well, you bite back. If I don't make you happy, you shy away and shut yourself away from me.

I do not like that, Jethro. I do not like it at all.

Sometimes a lover needs to know that trust is what binds them together.

You could have told me even before all this started that you loved him and I would have understood. All these years you have been hiding this within you and yet you keep on trying to find love somewhere else, still carrying that burden upon your heart. It's not healthy to do that: to love someone, especially one that you see every god damn day, and then you pretend that you don't know it's there.

Why don't you just face it that after Shannon died, you never found love again in another woman? Maybe you should just face the facts that you have stumbled upon this agent of yours and you have fallen for him. Don't try to hide your feelings behind you dating women, marrying and failing several times, Jethro.

If it's him you want and you cannot be satisfied nor make another woman feel so when you're with her, don't waste your time using me as a 'getting over him' phase.

Don't tell me 'this too shall pass' because that is B.S.

I hate to say this over and over again, but you need to go your way and I go mine. We can still be friends. I can support you. But until you have faced the truth that you love him, then you cannot be happy with yourself.

Call me. Answer your phone. Reply to my emails. This was last resort because it is the oldest fashion of communication and I believed that you'd read this at least.

I still love you, Jethro

Hollis

McGee's eyes grew wide as saucers and when his fingers began to tremble, I snatched the paper from his hand then scurried over to Gibbs' desk. I then pulled open the drawer and fixed it neatly within.

'It's definitely not me', he said when I went to sit upon his desk, my eyes narrowed at him. 'Ziva it can't be me!'

'No one said it was, McGee!'

'Tony?' And his hands flew up to wipe his face feverishly. 'That's…unbelievable…Gibbs!'

'Shhhh!' I hushed him, pressing my finger across his lips, my eyes wide. 'You know he sneaks up at the most terrible times!'

'Gibbs is…gay. The boss is gay', he whispered staring into the distance.

I shook my head and sighed. 'I do not think he is, McGee. I think that he may be in between. You know…' and stared up at the ceiling as I thought about it, 'walking between signs…uh', and I snapped my fingers, my eyes wide, 'bisexual!'

'Shhhh!' he hushed me, his eyes darting about. 'This is too much for me to process.'

'I think it is rather dangerously nice', I said with my eyes dancing at McGee. 'He is in love with Tony', I whispered, 'he is in denial, he dates women to try to get over it, but does Tony know?'

That was the million dollar question. Did Tony know about how Gibbs felt for him? Or were we just being fooled by all of this? After all, Hollis was the one who supplied me with the information via the letter. She could have been terribly mistaken in the first place. Maybe she was the type of woman to turn against people. But then again, there were the head slaps, the numerous times Tony got away with doing stupid stuff, and the fact that he always seemed to be 'on Gibbs' six', or whatever that meant.

'Suppose he's carrying on a secret affair with T –'

'Who's carrying on a secret affair with whom?'

McGee and I both jumped out of our sitting positions upon hearing Abby's voice behind the wall divider.

'Where's Gibbs?' McGee and I both asked. Then I stared at him as Abby smiled.

'Oh he took a diversion to visit the morgue, Ducky called him. What's up with you two?' and Abby proceeded to give me that dangerous yet shadowed look that she'd usually give me when McGee and I were sharing some secret moment.

'Should I tell her?'

'Tell her if you want!'

'But she's gonna tell him!'

'Tell who what?'

'Tell her, she ought to know since she's his favorite', I said smiling at Abby.

I watched as McGee huffed out his cheeks and then he took a deep breath, his eyes beady and focused on Abby. She on the other hand was smiling, her smile broadening by the second. And it puzzled me.

'Uh, Abby this might come as a shock to you. Ziva and I have discovered something…it's about Gi…' he leant in closer to her and whispered, 'the boss.'

'What have you discovered, McGee?' Abby asked still smiling. 'He's a wizard? Because that can explain his magical appearances in and out of my lab like every time he comes and goes I could swear I hear a pop or something like in the movies when they'd –'

'Abby, Gibbs has something for Tony', I said softly, my eyes darting around.

'What something? Like an object something? A gift?' And her eyes grew wide. 'It's Tony's birthday? Oh shoots!'

'No!' McGee and I both said in unison.

I breathed in and out slowly. 'We…I just found a letter from Hollis lying on his desk. I did not know that it was a letter but it was blown by the wind unto the floor. So I picked it up and –'

'You read his personal stuff?'

'I did not do it on purpose! It was…' and I flung my hands out towards Gibbs' desk, 'there.'

'But you shouldn't have read it, Ziva! That's not nice!'

'I –'

McGee cut us both off by telling Abby what was inside the letter, not word for word but the main part where we figured that the agent, Hollis was referring to was Tony. Both of us were expecting a huge shocked O shaped mouth from Abby, maybe her hands would fly up and she'd stare at us for a while. Or maybe she'd faint.

'Tell me something I don't know', she said beaming at us both.

'What?' I stared at McGee who stared at me.

'Geese I've known that he loved Tony since he brought Tony from Baltimore to work here. How did you think DiNozzo got his job? Have you ever wondered? Just goes to show that not only women want to get into Tony's pants.'

'I've never….' McGee began.

'He's been in love with him since then? That was like 8 years ago!' I said in disbelief.

'Well you know what?' she said turning to me with attitude, 'maybe love is something that never dies out, Ziva. Maybe you may not understand –'

'Wait a minute!' I said turning angrily to her, 'I know what love is, Abby. I was just saying that that's a long time to just continue loving someone like that and not exploding over it.'

'Surprisingly I told him…the same thing', and she looked at me quizzically. 'Just imagine Gibbs and Tony, all sweaty and grabbing out for each other. Who do you think would take control?'

'Eew…', McGee said sitting down and screwing up his face. 'That's disgusting.'

'I think…' and I smiled at Abby, 'that blue eyes would take control.'

'Boy would that be a starter for Tony', Abby smiled at me and nodded.

'You know what? I don't need to hear this right now'. And McGee fumbled with his tie knot.

'Getting flustered now, McGee?' and Abby winked at him. 'I'd love to see them get kinky in the bedroom. That would be so sexy to have them make out right there. I mean, I usually prefer girl on girl action but I'd even pay to see Gibbs –'

'Pay to see me what, Abby?' Gibbs asked coming into the Squad Room to stand next to her, coffee in hand, his face serious.

'Oh nothing, really, except –'

'Abby don't make me give you your first head slap', Gibbs said sternly and it was then that McGee practically jumped up from his chair as if he was sitting on hot coals.

'Boss! Tony's phone has been turned on again!' he exclaimed with his eye wide.

Gibbs came around the desk and looked at the screen, so did I and Abby. 'Trace it, McGee.'

'Already did, boss. It's coming from….'

oOoOo

(Tony)

'…this old dilapidated gym where they pummeled their fists into my face, trying to teach me a lesson. Fucked me up, they did. And you just stood there watching whilst they did what they had to do with me –'

'I wasn't even supposed to be here at your school!' I shouted, feeling my chest burn. 'I was supposed to meet you by the gate that afternoon and when I came in and saw them doing what they were doing, I –'

'Doing what they were doing?' he asked wildly, his bloodshot eyes wide and dancing with fury, 'they fucked me up, cousin! Fucked me up big time!'

'So you had to do the same to them in the end', I stated and shook my head.

'Yea well karma is a bitch, ain't it?' and out of the blues he began to laugh low then his evil laughter built up into a crescendo, ringing my ears and terrorizing me. 'How's that boss of yours gonna react when he comes in and sees you all ripped open nicely for him to admire and savor?'

I winced at the thought of him slicing me open as he did his other friends and felt myself becoming nauseous. 'You don't want to do that, Vault.'

'How's he gonna feel when he realizes that you're a homo and you've been fantasizing about him all this time, fucking him and wanting to ride him, Tony?' and I watched as he licked his lips. He was such a sick person.

'Stop it', I begged, closing my eyes and I felt the phone slip down into the crotch of my pants as I bent over, feeling the nausea ride over me. Someone would be listening because I had placed a call to one of them and I couldn't remember who had been on my Speed Dial 2. But that was the button I had pressed and left to ring. I tried to think about who I had on 1 as Vault continued to taunt me about Gibbs.

oOoOo

(Gibbs)

'You okay, Ziva?' I asked, barely glancing over at her because she had been surprisingly quiet for the full five minutes that we had been driving. And it wasn't like Ziva to be quiet, especially when it came to something concerning Tony.

'I am fine, Gibbs.'

'Something bothering you?' I asked.

She sighed. 'No, something bothering you, Gibbs?'

I wanted to try to smile and say nah, nothing's bothering me, but then I'd just be lying to myself once more. Like Hollis had said, I had been lying all the time and it wasn't getting any better.

'Yea', I said keeping my eyes on the road and wishing McGee was here because Ziva would not question me further if he was. Now I could feel that she was going to ask me questions that would lead from one thing to the other. I hated the fact that she was as good an interrogator as me. 'One of my agents is missing, Ziva. Of course something's bothering me.'

She took a while before she answered. 'We will find him, Gibbs. Tony is a good agent.'

'I know that!' I said because she had stated the obvious.

'Then you should not worry about it. We will find him; he will be safe and alive. And then…' I could feel her glance at me, 'you will be…we all will be happy.'

Being the interrogator and investigator I was, I would often read between the lines. I wanted to beat the red light, but the buildup of traffic was too much so I remained wedged between two lanes of vehicles. And I continued to dread this conversation more and more.

'Why would Vault do this to Tony who happens to be his cousin? I mean this is absurd the way he has baited us to get to Tony all the while. And I cannot help but wonder if Tony knew he'd be going into this!'

'The things we do for the people we love', I said softly and gripped the steering wheel as the light changed.

'That is clearly not love, Gibbs. Love does not make people do crazy stuff like that. It is not supposed to hurt. If it does then you kill it instantly.' And I slammed my right fist into my left palm. 'Like that.'

I felt obliged to correct her, feeling it necessary to at least offer my advice.

'Ziva trust me, you've got a far way yet to go to know what love is like. Can hurt like hell.'

'So why do you keep on hurting yourself?' she asked and I nearly did run into a car in front of me, swerving at a close call to avoid it. 'I'm sorry', she said quickly and her hand flew up to her mouth. 'It's none of my business.'

'You've already made it your business', I said in a low tone, wondering how much Abby had told her and how much she knew.

Ziva was a darn good investigator. There were very few things you could put past her, let alone her somehow finding out about me. And I was beginning to think that maybe I had slipped up somewhere along the lines or had been slipping up without even noticing that I was.

The usual head slaps should have warded off all thoughts on their side of me favoring Tony more than enough. And I never did imagine anyone figuring it out until Hollis did put the pieces together and realized that I had feelings beyond my own control for DiNozzo. It scared me to think of the situation I was diving into. What if DiNozzo knew all this time and it had affected him negatively?

'Gibbs I never meant to pry, but you…are right. I know and now I will not discuss it if it offends you that…I know', and she delved into silence, leaving me to wonder what I should say.

'Does DiNozzo know?' she asked a few seconds after and I almost started at her quick inquiry.

'No', I said plainly, feeling my mouth grow dry. 'Ziva –'

'Gibbs', and from the corner of my eye I could see her turn to me, her eyes filled with concern, 'it must really hurt. I cannot begin to imagine how it feels to love someone you…you see him every day and you talk to him and pretend to be only his boss. It must be so hard. I cannot do that at all. It would devastate me, I would run crazy. I just want to know how you have loved him for so long.'

How she had known that I had loved my agent for 'so long' I didn't know but figured that it had to do with Abby. Right there and then I felt hopeless as if I had everything to lose now that my agents knew. And I wasn't hiding how I felt from any of them because they all knew. But how could they even begin to understand what I was going through? It was heart wrenching to be me at that moment, to know that you loved someone you could never have easily. And that was obviously what Ziva had wanted to say but she was afraid to state the obvious to me, afraid that I would become affected by it.

How could I move on from there? Could I ever push it aside because it had been years now that I had tried and had failed every single time. The feelings would never go away no matter how hard I tried. And it did me no good by being around him so many times. However, I didn't ever consider quitting my job at NCIS. It was my job, who I was and I loved it. So I had been trying to hide how I felt for all these years, keeping it within me but trying to get used to the idea of it being a hopeless situation.

'Can't explain it', I said simply as we turned into Main Road which would lead us to Riverside High School. I could already hear the police sirens behind us.

'You don't have to', she said softly. 'All you have to do is to tell him, Gibbs. Just tell him and let him know how you feel, and then…' she waited a bit, 'you can at least know that he knows and you can take a bit of the burden off of your chest.'

'Where do I go from there, Ziva?' I asked of her, wanting her to realize that it wasn't going to be any easier telling him.

'My father used to always tell us that you cannot always get what you want, you do not always want what you get, but you should learn to appreciate things as they happen to you. My mother always said, 'never give up on telling the truth even if it kills you.' I pulled into the parking lot in front of the school and sat there in silence, my eyes burning because for Ziva to give me advice, it must really be something. She had to be truthfully worried about me, honestly caring about my feelings to do that.

'Thanks, Ziva', I said and I took out my gun, my eyes on the school. 'Now we find the gym.'

And then is when my cellphone rang. My heart sank when I saw that the I.D registered his name. I opened the flap, and clicked Accept to receive the call.

oOoOoOo

(Tony)

'…when you called me when you got accepted into NCIS, said how Gibbs had given you the job just like that. Fuck I felt glad for you even then.' And I watched as Vault smiled madly, his thumb continued to run itself over the mouth of the gun. 'Oh how you could talk about Gibbs. Gibbs this and Gibbs that. I should have known the truth behind it. You're as fucked up as I am.'

'Shut up!' I said feeling deeply inside me that the call had gone through to whomever and they were listening.

Who did I have on Speed Dial 2? I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lips, trying to block out Vault's voice and concentrate on something else, praying to God that this would be over soon enough. It was then that I remembered a Saturday last month when I had been dumped by this girl I had been going steady with for a whole month.

It had been a terrible breakup. I used to always say to myself that it would all get better in time: that I'd get over my feelings for Gibbs and just move on. Just like that. And I wanted it so bad. It pained me to have to go to work and face him every day, to see him and act all 'very special agent' to him when I loved him so much. Never had been good at talking about how I felt for my boss. No one knew except Abby who knew more about everyone than they knew about themselves.

And so in order to stop myself from calling Gibbs every single time I wanted to, I had placed him on Speed Dial 2 and Ziva on 1. It still didn't stop me though, because I knew Gibbs number out of my head. But still, I had not called him as much ever since then.

'You want to fuck him don't you?' and he came up to me, placing his hand forcefully on my balls. I winced as he began to massage me there, his breathe in my face as he worked himself up. Vault had gone mad. As I started at his beady eyes behind his thick glasses I squeaked, fighting the urge to tell him that he looked like an oversized mole. But then as he continued to speak about Gibbs, I bit my lips and closed my eyes, drowning myself into a stupor imagining Gibbs rubbing against me. 'Call his name when you come, cousin.'

'Don't do it –'

'I'm helping you, you fuck. Let it go. I'm giving you one last dream with him before you die. Call his name', and he upped the rhythmic kneading, making me grow hard. I would orgasm definitely if he continued it and I continued to imagine Gibbs' hand on my, working me hard.

'Gibbs…'

oOoOoOo

(Gibbs)

'…Gibbs.'

'Tony', I said into the mouthpiece when he called my name. 'DiNozzo can you hear me?' The minute he had said my name like that had instantly made me react to him. And I found myself becoming aroused at his low whisper, almost as if he was begging me to do something irrational, but something I'd love.

But there was only static as I continued to listen, my palms growing sweaty as Ziva and I took our marks around the gym. The stupid cops had arrived with wailing sirens, probably alerting Vault that we were here already. And how I had wanted to snatch their alert systems and smash it to pieces. But Ziva had held me back, her hands kneading my hands as she reassured me that I should keep it calm.

'He is speaking to you?' Ziva asked from the other corner of the building. I could see her clearly as she made an attempt to go around the corner of the building but had stopped in her tracks.

I mouthed no and beckoned her to move on, feeling my skin prickling as the low rumble of Vault's voice suddenly began to come through the phone.

'Call his name, Anthony. As you come, call his name.'

I frowned as I listened, wondering what the hell Vault was talking about. And I began to go around the building, the phone wedged between my shoulder and right ear.

'Call his name.'

What the hell was he doing? Was he demanding information from DiNozzo? I saw a window about a foot from the gravel and bent down to peek inside. There was a basement. This was too easy. Vault had to know that we would put the pieces together like this. And I began to wonder if we had gotten to the wrong place, when Tony as probably held somewhere else and we were wasting precious time.

'Gibbs!'

I jumped, stumping my toe on a small jagged piece of rock in front of me.

'I…love you, Gibbs', Tony whispered desperately. 'Please...'

'Gibbs', I blinked as I looked up and saw Ziva stooping near the corner of the building, 'over here', and she pointed in front of her.

I went after her and stopped near some sort of a door leading down into the basement. At first glance one would only see a door with rusting bolts and a sturdy handle. But when I looked closer I saw the reason why she had that concerned look on her face. A wire, barely visible because it was the exact color of the door ran alongside the crease to the right and attached itself unto the handle.

'What is it?' I asked her in soft tones.

'That, Gibbs, is a responsive bomb, triggered to go off as soon as the handle is turned.' And she pulled up the right leg of her jean. 'I think I can disarm it', she said taking out her knife.

'I was just going to ask you if you could.' I stood listening as Vault continued to taunt Tony about me. I knew it was me because he used my name several times. But what he was doing to Tony I had no idea for all I could hear was him breathing hard. Maybe Vault had wounded him. I prayed to God that I was wrong about that, because as time went by DiNozzo would be losing blood.

'What is it, Gibbs?'

I watched as she looked from the cell then into my eyes.

I shook my head and reached up with my left hand to wipe my face. Ziva turned back to concentrate on the door as two armed officers came around the building, guns at the ready. I nodded at them and then at the door Ziva was working at. One of them stepped forward, assessed the situation then waited.

'I know you're out there, Gibbs!' I heard Vault shout and when he said that, I instantly knew Tony had so little time left. 'Oh you've just made it worst. Say goodbye to your agent, you asshole.'