OMG! I'm sorry this is coming so late. I feel like I say that too much. Lol. Where I live there was a very untimely snow storm and I had no power for about four and a half days-I was using my grandma's computer.

Disclaimer: I do not own BTR

September

Logan leaned his head against the cold airplane window, vibrations lightly tickling him. Heart heavy with thousands of things gone unspoken. Mrs. Mitchell rested a tender hand on her son's knee. "Honey, look."

And there in its honing glory; was Los Angeles, California. Logan barley lifted his head as he lazily slipped his gaze to the kingdom bellow. Something pulled Logan out of reality and he was suddenly watching everything through a mirrored television screen-he was there, and wasn't there. Logan's eyes shut, no longer caring. When the brunette's eyes opened again, he was standing just outside the gates with his mom, one hand clutching his carryon.

"That was fast," Logan breathed listlessly. "I...actually don't remember landing or getting off the plane..." As he walked to baggage claim with his mom, everything became hazier and hazier. Most of Logan's mind slept in a lingering memory back in Minnesota. Like a ghost it remained with Kendall.

Kendall.

Logan heard the blonde's voice somewhere in the back of his brain.

"Logan..."

An earthquake of sorts shook everything around him. Logan dropped to the ground. His gaze darted. Why wasn't anyone else doing the same?

"Logan!"
The air shattered, cracking as if it was a window hit by a baseball.

"Logan! Wake up," Kendall ejaculated, shaking Logan. "Logie!"

Logan groaned, his eyes fluttering warily. "K-Kendall?" He suddenly jerked up from his dormant position. "What time is it?" Before Kendall could reply, Logan flashed over to the digital clock.

9:30

"We overslept!" Logan blurted, tossing back the covers. Kendall rolled his eyes and before the shorter boy could escape, Kendall wrapped his arms around Logan's waist and hauled him backwards.

"Logie, relax; we're playing hooky today," Kendall declared.

Logan's eyebrow spiked up suspiciously. "What you talkin' about Ferris?"

The taller boy chortled even if Logan wasn't meaning to be funny. "Don't act like you don't know what day it is." When Kendall's only response was Logan crossing his arms, the blonde hinted, "It happens once a year; come on, I thought you were the smart-guy."

"Oh," Logan's voice sounded enervated as if it had drained his newly built up energy to figure it out. "Right. My birthday."

Kendall scowled. "You don't look too thrilled about it."

"We had a test today Kendall, you know I hate making tests up," Logan quibbled.

Kendall thoughtfully observed his partner for a moment as if he was observing a rare specimen of nature. He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on Logan's lips. "I think you're going to change your mind."

"Sure." Then Logan remembered. "Is this going to involve that surprise you were working on last month?"

"How'd you guess?" Kendall beamed.

"Just a feeling." Logan sighed and was suddenly distant.

"Logan?"

"Hmm..."

Kendall took Logan's hand in his and pulled him out of the bed. "This is going to be your best birthday ever," the taller boy assured, dragging Logan to the closet.

"What makes you so sure," Logan said. It was a pugnacious question but sounded placating through Logan's voice. "Every single one of my birthdays has ended up disaster one way or another."

"Even before our friendship was on hiatus?"

"Yes."

The blonde crossed his arms over his chest. "Give me one example."

"Well. How about my seventh birthday- Carlos made the clowns mad by eating all their pies so they left and charged us triple," Logan challenged, "Or what about my twelfth birthday, huh? Jenny Tinkler set my house on fire! And my fourteenth birthday when there was a surprise blizzard? Oh and who could forget-" Kendall quieted Logan by pressing his lips to the brunette's.

"I said one example," Kendall corrected. He nudged Logan over a bit before folding back the door and reaching in. Kendall grabbed his favorite green plaid shirt and gave it to Logan.

"What's...?"

"It may be a little big on you," Kendall hinted. When Logan only gave his boyfriend an oblivion stare, the blonde said, "I want you to wear it. Couples sharing clothes is one of the many rights of passages they must experience."

Logan made a small humming sound like he was trying to recall a song that everyone loved but always forgot the name to. "Why not. 'Bout everyone in St. Paul, Minnesota already knows we're a couple so what is there to loose."

"Good. Now find some pants and such while I take a shower."

"'Pants and such?'" Logan mused when Kendall sprinted to the bathroom in his room. Hm. Maybe I should shower too. He walked casually to the not completely closed door. "Hey, Kendall, I'm going to use the hallway bathroom shower," Logan exclaimed, peeking his head in. Both were used to seeing each other naked because of hockey...but it hadn't made Logan get a strange dizzying feeling before.

"Okay," Kendall said with a shrug.

When both boys had finished showering, they both ate before filing into Kendall's car and were off to a 'super secret location'. "Honestly Kendall, whatever you're going to show me I'm sure I've seen it-I've lived in St. Paul long enough to know every square-inch of it," Logan stated.

Not removing his gaze from the road, Kendall pointed out, "Same here. But no one knows everything about where they live."

"True enough," Logan grunted. He leaned against the car window like he did the airplane one in his dream. "...Uh, lemme guess. It's out of town."

"Did you not hear me?" Kendall said, making sure his sounded good-natured. "It's in St. Paul."

Logan reminded himself of his plan. The brunette did his best to sound abnoxious when he demanded, "Give me a hint."

Kendall briefly glanced over to Logan. "You've never seen or heard of it."

The shorter boy scowled. "That doesn't help."

"What's with the sudden mood swing?"

"Huh?" Logan said.

Kendall drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. "Forget about it, Loges."

That obviously didn't work, thought Logan. So he simply said, "Okay." His gaze slid over to the blonde and he suddenly yerned to apologize to him. But Logan couldn't. And the behavior would have to continue.

"Do you remember...do you remember that day we were playing hockey just you and me?" Kendall asked randomly.

"We've played hockey together alot, Kendall," Logan pointed out.

"Hmm. It was...in eighth grade; I think our last day of school." Kendall laughed softly, "You were destroying me..."

Logan felt a smile forming. "You weren't just going easy on me then?"

Kendall shrugged. "Nope. Anyways...remember how we collided and you kind of fell on top of me..." Kendall hadn't told Jo these details. "That's when everything inside of me came to life, I needed to have you-to hold you close."

Logan's dark eyes watered. "And then you decided you loved me." He exiled the tears away. "About two years later I decided I hated you," the shorter boy whispered in a barley audible voice.

"And now?"

The brunette leaned over in the passenger seat and kissed Kendall's cheek. "That answer your question?"

"Yes," Kendall exclaimed.

Logan glanced around. "Where are we?" They had left civilization and were now in deep woodland consisiting of sparse and pine trees. There were no other cars on the winding road.

Kendall blinked. "So you don't know where we are then."

Not thinking about his reply, Logan said, "Sure."

"AH-HA! So you don't know all of St. Paul!"

"No. Apparently not. Happy now?"

"Uh-huh."

There wasn't any place like it in the city of . Sure there were the woods that Logan's trailer inhabited, but no place as clear-skied as where he and Kendall lay together watching the clouds drift by. Logan spoke of their memories from the past while Kendall made promises of the future. After a while of watching clouds, eating the food Kendall put togeher for a picnic, talking and (of course) kissing; Kendall checked the time.

"1:00," Kendall annonced. "You wait here while I go get something from the car." He kissed Logan's nose before getting up.

Logan locked his arms behind his head, a deep breath escaping. Let's see. Kendall hates judgmental people; he can't stand narsasists...which is werid considering we're both friends with James and he used to be with Jett. One of the reasons he broke up with Jo was because they argued...

"I'm back," Kendall chirped, lowering down beside Logan again. He had his guitar slung over his shoulder and was now tunning it.

"Is that the suprise?" Logan inquired. "I've seen your guitar a million times, Kendall."

"I needed to get my feelings out without telling you them before," Kendall said as if he hadn't payed attention to what Logan said. "So, after that hockey game, and after we got home-I ran upstairs to my room, pulled out my guitar, some song sheets and got to work. I poured my heart out." The blonde made sure Logan was following before he continued, "I'd pull out the lyrics to tweak with them every now and then but eventually they got lost somewhere in my mess of a closet...I guess after we kind of split, I didn't bother searching for them. When I did however find them back in August-I added some more details." Kendall reached into his jean's pocket and pulled out folded paper. As he unfolded it, Logan noted the many pen marks. Arrows, words crossed out, words replaced, side notes; it was almost illegible.

"Why didn't you just rewrite it on different paper?" Logan wondered.

"That would've made it loose the affect," Kendall said matter-o-factly.

Logan bit his bottom lip and sat up. "Alright; go on."

Kendall smiled widely. "Just relax and enjoy." When Logan gave Kendall a weird look, the taller boy exclaimed, "Shut up. C'mon I know you'll love it." Keeping their gazes locked, Kendall began to play the raw notes that were beginning to once again come to life.

"I promised I would be there, I swear I'm on my way; I know you may not hear me, but that's the price I'll pay," Kendall sung. "And I don't know; how I would, ever go, all alone walking on my own; like angels, you were floating to me and that's how it should be..."

Logan's famous half smile appeared as he felt everything inside him flutter and bubble. Kendall strummed faster and sang,"Cuz I don't wanna waste another moment, I don't wanna pay for things unspoken, I just wanna race with arms wide open; take a shot in the dark, to be where you are...I don't wanna watch the world keep changin', when I'm not with you my heart keeps shaking; I cover up my eys and just start pacing; take a shot in the dark, to be where you are...I promise you I'm gonna be there, I wanna be there; no matter what happens, no matter how tragic; because the clock is ticking, the world is spinning, our lives are passing us by..."

And this time, Logan could not hold back his tears. Kendall found it was the same to him. Logan glanced to the lyrics and harmonized with Kendall, "Cuz I don't wanna waste another moment, I don't wanna pay for things unspoken, I just wanna race with arms wide open; take a shot in the dark, to be where you are...take a shot in the dark."

Kendall set his guitar over to the side with the lyric sheets and leaned forward, pressing his lips to Logan's. Kendall moved so that he was straddeling the brunette. "That was beautiful," Logan whispered, voice shaking slightly. The blonde caressed Logan's right cheek and rubbed small circles with his thumb. Logan grinned, and murmured softly, "Thank you."

"It's been waiting for you to hear," Kendall mumbled between sweet kisses. He slid both hands down Logan's sides until they rested on the brunette's hips. Logan brought his own hands up and burried them into Kendall's hair.

And just for this moment; Logan didn't think about leaving. He was somewhere distant and it felt as if nothing could break the trance. "I could...stay here...forever," Logan panted, breathes becoming more and more strangled.

"Me too Logie, me too," Kendall breathed, planting kisses to the brunette's neck. "But we're probably gonna have to leave in about fifteen minutes."

"Wait-why?" Logan shifted slightly under Kendall. "No-don't say anything. There's more."

Kendall leaned down again, moving his lips with Logan's for a few seconds longer. "Yes."

"Can't wait," Logan snorted sarcastically.

"You liked this though, right?" Kendall inquired.

The shorter boy's hands slipped to his sides. "Caught me."

His boyfriend smirked and gave him a peck on the forehead. "Alright! Let's go!" Kendall intertwined their fingers and pulled Logan to his feet quite suddenly. In his other hand he grabbed his guitar and lyrics.

"Right now?" Logan mused, reaching down to take the picnic basket. "I thought we had fifteen minutes."

"Yeah but it takes us about an hour and a half to get back to our house," Kendall explained.

Logan felt a shiver that was both excited and terrified at the way Kendall said, 'our house.' Oh Kendall...

"Hmm, I wonder why it is so dark in here?" Logan exaggerated when he and Kendall stepped inside. "Hey, Kendall-can you turn on the light maybe?"

Kendall chuckled. "Sure, Logan." He reached over to the light switched and flicked it on. Instantly the room was flooded brightly to reveal all of Kendall and Logan's friend's.

"SUPRISE!" They exclaimed in unison. Balloons were tied anywhere possible, and the coffee table held bowls with Logan's favorite snacks and drinks. Carlos, Camille, and James sped over to Logan.

"Happy birthday Logan!" Carlos squealed; him, James, and Camille all launching their confetti at the same time.

"Seventeen, how does it feel?" Camille laughed.

"Uh, great," Logan exclaimed. "Thanks guys."

James patted Logan's shoulder. "Well it is a tradition of ours." He gestured to Carlos, Kendall, and Logan.

"Maybe we'll throw a suprise party for you," Carlos said to Camille.

"Way'ta ruin the suprise if we were planning on one," Jo said, walking up to them.

Carlos blushed. "Ur, oops."

Kendall nodded. He said to Logan, "I'm gonna put my guitar and the picnic basket away..." Kendall whispered into Logan's ear, "And your song." Kendall took the basket and slipped past his friends.

"So," Jo exclaimed. "Did you and Kendall have fun?"

"Mmm..." Logan hummed. "Yeah."

Camille raised a mischiveous eyebrow and both James and Carlos smirked. "Oh really," Jo said.

"Wha-? Nothing like that!" Logan squeaked. "I swear! Seriously guys..."

"We weren't thinking that," James snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Nothing like that," Jo and Camille agreed together.

"Yeah we just thought you to were having se-" Carlos was cut off by James and Camille elbowing him.

"Not yet," Logan sighed. "We're taking it slowly." We probably won't even get to that final stage, Logan thought but didn't say out loud. Wow, I've never felt so at war with myself before.

"You call sleeping with someone taking it slow?" James inquired.

"How'd you know that?"

James shrugged. "Kendall told Carlos and Camille, then Carlos told me and I told Annie and Annie told Jo."

Logan threw his arms up. "How many people know about this?"

Changing the subject, Camille and Carlos both grabbed Logan's wrists. "C'mon, let's go crank up some music and have some fun!" Camille exclaimed.

It was around 10:30 when everyone was gone- James, Camille, Carlos, and Jo had all stayed longer than the others. Various presents had been given out although Logan insisted that he was getting to old for things like that. Mrs. Knight, Katie, and Mrs. Mitchell planned to celebrate with Logan on Saturday considering they knew about Kendall's plan. When the two both had finished changing and washing up, they climbed into Kendall's bed.

"Thanks again, Kendall," Logan whispered.

"So I did a good job?" Kendall mumbled.

"You gave me a song, of course you did a good job," Logan's eyes opened again and he turned in Kendall's arms so they were facing each other. Logan kissed his boyfriend's cheek.

Kendall peppered gentle kisses along Logan's jawline and down to the brunette's neck. "I'll do anything for you..."

Logan sighed and turned back around. "Goodnight Kendall."

"Goodnight Logan," Kendall whispered, snuggling close. Logan couldn't let himself sleep. He knew he loved Kendall but hated that...It was why he never actually brought himself to tell Kendall out loud. Logan would push Kendall away but in the end knew nothing could stop an emotion. Logan was aware of how they weren't exactly taking it slowly-what 'taking it slow couple' had make out sessions or as James mentioned-slept with each other?

Logan felt himself slipping away.

He felt the decison weigh him down.

Once Logan was sure that Kendall had fallen to sleep, he carefully slid out of the bed and headed downstairs to find his mom arranging her dresser. "Hey, mom," Logan said. "How was your day?"

Mrs. Mitchell stopped what she was doing and instantly bounced over to hug her son. "Happy birthday, sweetie-my day was great thank you; how was Kendall's suprise?"

Logan couldn't say 'incredible'. Or, 'I loved it'. So he said, "It was great."

Mrs. Mitchell smiled warmly. "I was going to wait until Saturday but..." She quickly retrived something from the closet-a white gift bag with the pattern of a blue bird on it. "Here."

Logan couldn't quite put his finger on it...was it the way his mother smiled so that her straight teeth showed; was it her eyes glimmering in a proud kind of way, but not for Logan for herself...Or maybe it was how she held the bag out a foot distant from herself like she was presenting something to someone she liked but wasn't close to. Behind his mother's beaming expression, Logan knew she had something to hide-or should he say, more to hide. Logan cautiously took the blue bird bag and peeked inside. He pulled out its contents and tucked the bag under his left arm. The brunette revealed a gray Harvard hoodie. When he had shaken the hoodie to unfold it, an envelope fluttered to the carpet. Logan leaned down and picked it up. He walked over to his mother's bad and sat down so he could put the other things down. The envelope had a vaugely familiar seal on it. Logan looked up and again saw that same expression. Logan opened the letter and skimmed it.

He swallowed. This should be making me happy but god I don't want this.

At least not now.

Mrs. Mitchell sat beside Logan. "Well, honey?"

Her smile reached from ear to ear and Logan reconized the expection in her gaze. The brunette shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe I got into Harvard."

Okay. My power came back Thursday so this would've been up yesterday but...uh I forgot...hope u liked this