Glad you like this one :)
Probably didn't notice but the lines in the last chapter that said ,
"You can miss what you never had," "Can't you?" is a quote from Secrets and Lies which Phyllis Logan stars in and that was one of her lines ;) I was quite pleased to be able to include it.

Ten

She wandered around the house, she felt odd, she felt … grown up. She'd been alone ever since Edith had gone but tomorrow she was 10 so she was going to, today was the day Sybil would finally get her own bedroom, an early birthday present from her parents. She stood on the landing outside the nursery and looked down, she liked just watching the goings on of the house, especially the servants, they were like a whole different family she didn't know about. She heard her mother's voice and looked to see her talking to Mrs Hughes, she felt her smile widen at the sight of her, she'd been very close to Mrs Hughes ever since she was born, she'd even go as far to say she was closer to Mrs Hughes than her own mother, but she knew her family understood why she spent so much time with her, shed always been left out by her sisters, except when they were very young, but as soon as Mary moved out of the nursery she thought herself to grown up to play with them so they'd all gone their separate ways.

Cora dismissed Mrs Hughes and she began to make her way towards the servants stairs, Sybil shot across to the main staircase and nearly knocked over her mother as she ran after Mrs Hughes, Cora's eyes followed Sybil and she rolled them when she saw where she was going, she thought it sweet, the soft spot Sybil had for Mrs Hughes and even she had seen a different side of Mrs Hughes besides the firm housekeeper demeanour she had in front of the maids.

Mrs Hughes was oblivious to the running feet behind her as she made her way down to her sitting room. She smiled at Charles as he was coming out of his pantry as she entered hers, just as Sybil came hurtling down the stairs, the maids having to press themselves against the wall to avoid being hit by the flying nine year old as she jumped the last few steps. She was running past Mr Carson but he suddenly grabbed her and lifted her above his head, she giggled in delight,

"And where little miss might you be going?"

"To see Mrs Hughes of course"

"To see Mrs Hughes you say? Well we'll have to see about that, you'll have to get past me first"

As he said this, Mrs Hughes appeared in the doorway at the sound of Sybil's laughter as she was brought down to the floor and tickled by Charles. She smiled at the sight.

"Mrs Hughes … make … him … stop" she managed breathlessly as she laughed

Elsie walked forward but instead of helping Sybil she began to tickle her too,

"Nooo … no … please … stop" Elsie gave in and stood up,

"c'mon my girl, must get away from the tickle monster" she winked at Charles as she took Sybils hand and led her into her sitting room.
She let Sybil sit in an armchair while she sat at her desk,

"look at you then, your birthday tomorrow, getting to be a very big girl now"

Sybil's smiled disappeared; she nodded and looked down at her hands.

"Can I … come and sit on your lap please?" this was the first time she'd ever asked, either Elsie would ask if she wanted to or she just would.

"Of course dear" she opened her arms for Sybil to come into them, she could tell there was something wrong, she was quieter than usual.

"You're nearly getting to big to do this" she joked as she lent her head against Sybil's, one hand on her leg, the other on her shoulder. They were silent for a minute before Elsie heard a little sniff and look down to see Sybil's eyes tightly shut but tears trickling down anyway, she turned her round to face her,

"oh my dear what's the matter?"

"I don't want to get too big Mrs Hughes" she sniffed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, "I don't want to grow up because they'll say I'm too old to come down here, they'll make me do things instead of letting me spend my time with you"

Elsie held her closer, she had been worrying about exactly the same thing, the girl may have loved her when she was small but when she was 10 would she still want to come and spend all her time with the old housekeeper, well she wasn't "old" necessarily but she was getting there.

"I'll still be here Miss Sybil, you'll still see me and you'll be allowed to still come and see me, maybe not as much as you did but you still will, your father understands, he'll still let you."

"He might want me to spend more time with mama"

"Well there's nothing wrong with spending time with your mother, you should spend time with her"

"But I don't want to spend time with her, I want to spend time with you. I want you to teach me all the things the governess does, I want to be allowed to go on walks with you, I don't want to spend time with anyone else!"

Elsie couldn't help smiling, she was trying hard not to cry, she didn't know what she should say, she shouldn't really say what she felt, she would have to tell her the truth.

"I'm sorry Miss Sybil, believe me I would love to be able to spend all my time with you, I have to run the house and you wouldn't be allowed to spend all your time with me. You must allow yourself to grow up and become who you are, it was fine to spend all your time with me when you were little but now you must become Lady Sybil"

Her heart broke as she said the words, especially when she saw Sybil's lip tremble, but she burst into loud sobs and Elsie held her close to her. When Sybil pulled back, her eyes were red and the tears were still pouring down her face, Elsie realised she wasn't upset, more angry.

"I thought you'd be here to protect me from them but you're trying to get rid of me!"

"No I'm not…"

"YOU ARE! YOU'RE TRYING TO GET RID OF ME!"

The loud screams alerted Charles that something was wrong, he entered the sitting room and moved instantly to allow a crying Sybil to run past slamming the door on her way. He stared at Elsie who was sitting with her head in her hands, when he noticed her shoulders moving he moved over to her to kneel before her and take her hands away from her face, rubbing away the tears that had begun to fall.

"Oh Charles what have I done?"

"You haven't done anything Elsie" he kissed her on her forehead and held her for a moment, "she's scared of the changes but it's not your fault."

"But she trusted me, she trusted me to look after her and I just told her to go,"

"You did what was right"

"But I upset her, oh god Charles I broke her trust"

He stood up, holding onto her forearms and bringing her to stand with him,

"She'll come back, mark my words, when she's had a bit of time to herself and calmed down I'm sure she'll come and see you"

Elsie sniffed and looked up at him,

"I wish I could believe you Charles, I really do but…"
Unable to finish her sentences she buried her face in his jacket and he gently stroked her back until her tears subsided.

Throughout the day she felt a lump in her throat, she felt sick but not as if she would be, just felt physically sick. She avoided going upstairs as much as she could, during her rounds she practically ran through the corridors but she found herself freeze as she faced the girls rooms. She couldn't bear to face Sybil at the moment, all she could see was that little crying face, that little girl who put her all her trust in only a couple of people, she could just see her, sitting on her bed, crying her eyes out, alone, so alone. She felt tears brimming so quickly turned away but walked straight into Lady Grantham.

"Oh m'lady I do apologise"

"No need Mrs Hughes, it's quite alright" she began to walk down the corridor but stopped and turned back,

"Oh, Mrs Hughes, I was wondering if you could come with me to inspect Sybil's new room, it's been redecorated and the new bed has been delivered, but I think I should have your opinion"

"Oh …. I … yes m'lady" she couldn't think of a good enough excuse so she followed Cora down the hall to the last room.

Her breath was taken away as she entered, the room had once been a horrid grey colour with a blue trim but now it was a sunny yellow with a white trim, she couldn't help but smile as she saw it, it was so - 'Sybil.' But as beautiful as the room was it just reminded her of how grown up Sybil was, the poor girl.

"It's lovely my lady" she wanted to leave as quickly as she could, she needed to distract herself with some work.

"Do you think she'll like it?" Cora faced Elsie, she found herself unable to answer, the truth would be that Sybil would hate it, she already did, but she couldn't exactly tell Cora that.

"I'm sure she will my lady…" She gazed around the room feeling the lump in her throat returning.

"What it is?" she hadn't noticed that Cora was still watching her.

"Oh nothing my lady" she smiled but looked away quickly, "if that'll be all…" she turned to leave but she felt a hand on her arm.

"I really am grateful for the way you look after Sybil Mrs Hughes, she holds you in high regard and it's nice to see her smile after she's been to see you. I've never thanked you properly for it but I feel I should" she smiled genuinely, still holding onto Elsie's arm.

"It was my pleasure my lady, she's a sweet girl and it's been lovely to have such a loving admirer" she blinked furiously to hold back the tears.

"It's difficult for me to spare the time for her, so I'm glad you do, she loves you Mrs Hughes, I hope you don't grow apart as she gets older" she let go of Elsie's arm and stood up straight.

"I hope so too my lady" was all she managed before she hurriedly left.

She sat in her sitting room, no amount of work could distract her now, she sank back into her chair thinking of that tiny dark haired girl who would come and sit on her lap every afternoon, look at her with those big blue eyes over her cocoa mug, giggle so sweetly when Elsie would make her laugh, smile as she left and always be back the next afternoon without a doubt.
Elsie thought of how she'd managed to lose the chance of having her own children, now, she'd also lost the surrogate daughter that'd adored her for ten years. She gazed at the drawing, she still had it, it sat propped up against the wall on her desk, the corners of the paper were fraying a little but it was still intact. She held it for a moment, rubbing her fingers over the drawing of Sybil, her smiling face, her blue eyes, standing next to Elsie she looked even smaller than she had been in reality, this time she could not hold back her tears, she'd lost every opportunity for a daughter that she'd ever had, now it was over. She'd go back to being Mrs Hughes, the firm housekeeper that only one man got to see the other side of, the thought of him should have made her happy but it didn't, all she could think about was the loss of that little girl and how it'd been her fault.

She felt the tears pour uncontrollably down her cheeks as she put the drawing back on her desk. She decided she wouldn't try and stop herself crying, she kept her emotions locked up to much, no, now she would let herself cry, let herself cry for Sybil, for the fear that child was feeling, for the pain of having her trust broken, for the lonely feeling she suffered, for everything that poor ten year old had been through before life has even begun to get difficult for her.
She heard a sniff, it wasn't her, it came from outside the door, she composed herself and made her way over. She placed her ear against the door and heard a soft thump and the sound of someone crying, she crouched down and found the sound was louder as she did, she knew who it was and she flung open the door, catching Sybil as she fell forward (she'd had her forehead against the door.)
Elsie picked her up, pushing the door almost shut with her foot and just held her there feeling the girl cry into her shoulder, she too cried into the girls thick hair, she clutched to her wishing she could never let her go, protect her from everything that could harm her but eventually she felt Sybil pull back to look at her, the sight of her watery, red eyes breaking Elsie's heart further.

"I'm so 'hic' sorry Mrs Hughes … I should never have ... shouted at you ... it was unkind ... and I need you Mrs Hughes … I need your comfort when I'm sad, I need your cocoa when I'm cold I you're your cuddles … I just need you" she burst into tears again and once again buried her face into Elsie's shoulder.

"It's alright my dear, I need you too, I'm glad you came back" Elsie was still crying but this time with tears of joy, she had her little girl back and she wasn't going to let her go again.

Charles closed the door of her sitting room to give them some privacy, smiling to himself for being right, but it hadn't escaped his notice how distracted she'd been that day, he knew the loss of the possibility of a child between them had upset her, but he could see just what the loss of a child entirely had done to her, he sighed, imagining what a wonderful mother she would have been to her own daughter – well at least she had Sybil.

I hope you still like it a Happy New Year to you all :)