YAYAYAYAY almost two weeks and it's here, the update! I promised I would do my best and things would be better with my time if i didn't have a halloween party to host and my mom visiting lol, don't get me wrong, i love my momma but i have been struggling for days for her to stop moving around things while cleaning the house again and again... pffffff

with no more words... here is the chapie that shows the aftermath of the revelation

Enjoy...

Chapter 16 – Despair

Arthur's hands only tightened around his father's neck, Uther gasped for breath as his eyes filled with tears of pressure and fear, in the little thoughts formed in his head, the king only wished he would survive his own lie, his doom couldn't be here already…

A thudding sound was heard behind the prince and soon three pairs of arms wrapped around his body and pulled him away violently as Gwaine, Percival and Leon pulled him away, his close friends and most trusted guards held the prince away from the king as the younger man straggled madly to continue with his attempt to kill his own father.

'You're a monster!' Arthur screamed again and again as his friends held him down and Uther dragged himself away, all the while coughing and grasping at his neck for air. 'I'll kill you!' he screamed again.

'Arthur, for the love of God!' Leon said though greeted teeth as he kept the prince away, the knights had no idea why this was happening but they were shocked to realize that Arthur could struggle against all three of them with no rest as to get to his own father. More guards entered the chamber and helped the king while others got before the struggling men and Uther as to protect the ruler of the land.

After a few more moments of fighting, Arthur finally gave up with a gasp and a defeated cry of pain and despair. Morgana was his sister, he couldn't believe what he had done, just a few hours ago and he was being her first lover, he had made love to his sister and had talked about possible children, he had promised her to be there forever and now he couldn't even look at himself in the mirror, let alone look at her in the eyes.

People dragged him away but he didn't protest, he guessed he would be led to the dungeons or something for attacking his mighty father but in the haze of his mind, he realized they were leading him to his chambers. Uther had ordered for his simple dismissal, not his arrest or punishment, what greater punishment could the king inflict on him anyway? He had killed Igraine and now he was dooming his son's soul in Hell with his ignorance and lies, he had let things to reach the worst point with no return.

Had Morgana learnt about the truth? How had she reacted? Was she as heartbroken and out of control as him? Had Morgause already taken her away? Was she even in Camelot? He had just said a hasty goodbye awhile ago, with a kiss on the lips, with the hope of tasting her body soon, now he only wanted to scream and tear off his own skin in disgust and hate and pain, he had fucked his own sister, his own blood and flesh. He wanted to vomit and scream and die.

A door opened somewhere as he lay still on the floor, his hands hiding his face, he could see Merlin's form approaching but he couldn't hear or understand as his friend leaned close with a dreadful face. He had betrayed him too, lying to him for years about his true nature, hiding things, pretending… he felt anger. But Morgana had asked, demanded of him to be careful and merciful with his friend, Morgana… his love, his sister.

Merlin's lips moved but Arthur could hear no sound, he was still in a state of utter shock and bewilderment or he had just lost his mind and couldn't hear a word as the only thing that penetrated his brain were the image of Morgana beneath him, moaning and whispering and crying out as he took her.

He ignored Merlin, stood up and moved away from him, still not able to hear him, still not able to convert the noises of the other man's mouth into words and sentences, he just needed to take a scalding bath, to make his skin burn and his flesh feel pain, somehow he needed to salvage his soul for his sins.

III

'You should go and make sure the jet is ready, we shall return to our Land the soonest possible since her Majesty is able to travel.' Morgause's voice was heard as if through water in distance, yet her sister sat right next to her on the bed, holding her hand and talking to one of the Avalonian guards who escorted her to Camelot and would take both sisters away to Avalon.

Morgana had been still like a statue after her great breakdown that lasted for more than two hours of sobbing, wrestling her sister and screaming out incoherent things. After a point, she just froze, gasped hard for air and when her lungs were satisfied from the oxygen her entire body stilled, her eyes stopped moving and just started staring at nothing and her lips sealed with silence that her sister feared yet hoped to last until they were away.

Morgause had hoped Uther had kept Arthur away, the last thing she needed was for him to get to the hospital like a furious bull and try to snatch Morgana away and by his side, just her sister she could manage, with Arthur, there would be too many problems to solve. So far the prince was nowhere to be seen and that helped the Queen very much as she hurried to take her sister away.

'I swear to you, I will take you away from this dreadful place and we will be ok in our home, you don't have to say a word yet, you don't have to force yourself. I know you liked him a lot, but it's ok, no harm done, we'll go back home and believe me, everything will be fine. Merrick is waiting, everyone is waiting, Mora is waiting for its queen, Morgana.' Morgause tried to speak to her sister by grasping her face in her palms and looking at her, bringing her face closer but Morgana's dead gaze fell upon her sister, yet nothing could be read in those crystal green eyes, Morgause felt as if looking at the eyes of a corpse.

Morgause was speaking words Morgana couldn't and didn't want to understand, her sister probably tried to sooth her pain, her shock and despair, but Morgause had no idea how far things had gotten, she had no idea that Morgana had given herself to Arthur, to her brother, Morgause had no idea Morgana had compromised the honor of the priestess of the Religion. She had no idea Morgana had probably fulfilled one or both prophesies by giving herself to no one else but her own brother, no, the Queen couldn't sooth her, for this despair wouldn't go away.

The mare idea of being pregnant by Arthur like the prophesy spoke of brought silent shivers across Morgana and she pushed the thought far away every time, no, she had unwillingly brought this on herself and Arthur but she wouldn't even consider the fact of a child growing inside her, if it worried her before, only because things were so unstable now it terrified her for this child would be the result of incest and pain.

'I need to speak to her highness The Princess Morgana,' A voice was heard from outside, it was intense and hurried, begging and demanding at the same time, Morgana only blinked once, looked at the door that hid the person with the somehow familiar voice and then felt herself sinking away again.

Morgause rose from her position close to her only sister and rushed to the door, the guards were holding back a tall man with raven hair and funny ears, he looked familiar and Morgause would swear he had seen him before close to Arthur Pendragon.

'I must speak with the princess, it's very important,' Merlin was saying but his trailed off when he saw Queen Morgause looking at him with stern eyes from the door, he could see Morgana inside the room, her face was a mask of apathy and her body seemed defeated, Morgause had already lied to her, she had already broken her. Before he could scream out something about the plot Morgause and Uther had set up for both Arthur and the princess, Morgause shut the door and her eyes turned amber for a moment, sealing the door from noise and disturbances.

'What do you want?' she demanded to know in a hard voice and Merlin stopped struggling as to speak to the queen, but to say what since she was the one she had set up her own sister. In his try to reveal the truth, Merlin had tried to speak to Arthur in his chamber, after he learnt the prince had tried to kill his own father, when Arthur couldn't even reply to his questions and the announcement of having something important to tell him, Merlin had almost taken the bathroom door down to speak to Arthur but the prince never replied, only the water from the show was heard so Merlin had decided to leave for the hospital as to speak to Morgana, now this plan sunk as well.

'I must speak with her majesty, I have urgent news from king Uther,' Merlin lied, he didn't care, he had to expose Morgause and then he would see what he could do to save his ass. Morgause shook her head.

'Her majesty is well aware of whatever your king might want to tell her, she's unwilling to receive anyone from your nation.' Morgause announced icily and Merlin was ready to scream the truth in hopes of Morgana listening but Morgause nodded to her guards and they took him away, after hitting hard on the back and stomach for him to remain silent.

'Arthur?' Morgana asked blankly when Morgause was back in the room, the blond woman shook her head with a smile of fake sympathy but her eyes softened when her sister's filled with tears, Morgana moved slowly back on the mattress and hugged herself.

After all the emotional onslaught all she wanted indeed was to leave, go back to her home, go back to her bed and sleep for days and nights with no stop, she knew of spells and potions that would help her remain unconscious for endless hours, or maybe forever, she thought with a warm, inner smile of pain…

III

'I know they probably lied to you, I know Morgana probably lied to you like her sister and I had to lie to her as well, but Arthur, I'm your father and I want your good and only…' Uther was saying from the other side of the door.

Despite the shock of the attack he had suffered, Uther had decided to visit his son in his chambers, it had been hours ever since Arthur's return and the madness that unfolded within the office. As he knew, Morgause had already taken Morgana away, they were done, succeeded with splitting apart the youngest Pendragon and the youngest Le Fay, now they had somehow to repair what they had done to the young couple.

The door opened and Uther gasped slightly when he say the haunted face of his son, his clothes were shocked and Uther just knew Arthur had stepped inside the shower like that, he could also see the reddened skin of his son, hot water had been the solution, for hours, he was under the torture of being cleaned for liking his sister, Uther sighed and hugged his only child.

'It will get better,' Uther whispered to Arthur who remained frozen.

'You don't understand…' Arthur whispered, his father had no idea of what had happened between Arthur and Morgana, and he wouldn't know, Morgana was possibly gone by now, and she had taken with her all the sin and pain they shared. 'She… she told me you forced Nimueh to help my mother have a child, that you sacrificed Mother for a son…' Arthur blurted out in his haze and actually felt his father tensing up before relaxing. Uther made a step back and looked at his defeated son, he seemed like clay in his hands, ready to be manipulated a little more, once and for all.

'Listen to me, my son, I know I have made mistakes, I know I should have told you about Morgana, but I would never harm your mother, I would never do such thing to her. Morgana was raised in an environment that hated the Pendragons, they had to find reasons to hate us since they lost the battle, and they found false reasons to accuse me of things that I would never do, you must trust me. I always stood by your side, I know I was stern but Arthur, you are the most precious person in my life, you're my son, the only reminder I have of your mother, the woman I loved so much.' Uther said, he knew he had to be careful with Arthur, the truth his son knew had to be forgotten and he had to do that right then, while the wound was fresh.

'Morgana lied to me?… no,' Arthur whispered in defeat, she had vowed, she had been honest, just like Merlin a small voice whispered in his ear and he closed his eyes in pain as tears ran down his face, he hated himself for doubting his father, his friend and his… sister, he hated everyone but above all, he hated himself, he was so confused and scared and hurt. 'She wouldn't lie to me…' he tried weakly and Uther gave a tiny sympathetic smile.

'In her head, she didn't, in her head, she told you the truth, that's what she thinks she did… but Arthur… you must trust me, I'm your father…' Uther said gently and Arthur looked at the hard eyes of his father, could he really trust him? The man everyone hated? The man who lied to his own children for their very heritage… if he had warned him, if he had let him know… he wouldn't have been intimate with his own sister… he wouldn't have fallen in love for the only woman forbidden by society and nature for him to have.

The first sob finally ripped through his lips and soon a breakdown followed, he felt himself sinking to his knees, he was done, spent and exhausted, his world had collapsed around him, the will for the next day was gone, Morgana was away and lost for him, and it was finally time to mourn in despair for this loss.

sooo? I know it was rather short but I wanted to show how both Arthur and Morgana collapsed in different and similar ways, it's mostly a break for what is to come in the next chapters, as you probably know series 4 is taking down the ship day by day but we must survive through fanfictions and videos so support the writers and we will all support the ship no matter what!

thanks for reading, please review and let me know what u think :)

CP09