Gasp! I can actually post this part today! Quick! (sorry, this is me being sarcastic at b/c I've been trying to get this part up for the better part of the weekend!)
A/N: Okay, here's where I tell you that if you haven't seen last week's episode of SAB ,Las Dos Fridas: Then please be aware there are spoilers ahead..
Okay, for everyone else, let me just say that I was sooo not happy that there was NO Emmett in that episode! I really hope next week's has more of him. Also, I am having a hard time getting a feel for Bay's character without making her sound like a spoiled rotten brat! She is only 16 after all, and while her parents did much to redeem themselves, she wasn't present for the majority of it, therefore has no idea. Kindly keep that in mind.
-Nothing you recognize from the show is mine, this is just me playing with what I think said characters might be thinking at times during the show.
Bay POV:
Anger. According to Webster dictionary, anger is a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism. Whatever that means.
I just know that I am angry. Very angry. Here lately that emotion seemed to be the norm for me. Why doesn't anyone understand?
Sitting on my bed, trying to psych myself up for the next few days, my thoughts ran to my boyfriend. I missed Emmett. I'd gotten big news from my school and I was dying to tell him. I didn't though. After the way we'd parted the other night, I was too afraid to. I had been unfair to him, I knew. I just couldn't bring myself to apologize for it. Not yet.
Didn't mean I didn't miss him, though. He was my biggest supporter and to have such a big honor bestowed upon me and not share it with him just felt wrong. I almost reached for my phone.
Mom came in the room, babbling about how she'd just been informed that I'd been selected to paint a mural. She seemed happy for me. I only answered with sarcasm. It was all I had. She wasn't the one I wanted to share this with. Besides, I was still angry with her. I was still angry with everyone.
A car honk interrupted her lame bonding attempt. Saved by the bell...well, by the horn anyway.
"Grandma's here!"
-page break-
Grandma's visiting for this week. Oh joy!
My mom is absolutely terrified of her own mother. Grandma runs all over my parents and they just let her. I knew, too, that Grandma was going to have PLENTY to say about the swap. She has plenty to say about EVERYTHING.
Watching her fawn over Daphne wasn't pleasant, but I knew it was coming. I couldn't even begrudge her. Not much anyway. Mostly I was jealous of the fact that my real family didn't share the fascination and desire to know me, the way the Kennish's did for Daphne.
I got a really nice present though. Grandma always gave great presents. Staring at the cover of the book for Latin American art, I wanted to laugh. Could she have given me anything more perfect!
"Grandma, I got selected to pain a panel for Buckner's Wall of Honor."
She didn't acknowledge me. Her full focus was on Daphne, who had yet to open her gift. Dad congratulated me, while Toby made a wise crack that no-one but Dad found funny. Grandma didn't say anything. At least not to me. She was explaining to Daphne about the cameo in her hand. The one that had been promised to me.
That's mine! I immediately recognized the beautiful jewel. Growing up, Grandma had regaled me with tales of her own grandmother wearing the cameo, and how it was a family treasure. How each Grandma selected one of her Granddaughters to pass it on to. We all knew it would come to me someday. She didn't even have to choose. I was the only grand daughter.
Not anymore I'm not! Daphne's here now. And they ALWAYS choose Daphne over you.
I know I was pale. I wanted to scream and cry and rage at the whole lot of them for being a bunch of unfeeling hypocrites! But I didn't. I simply sat there, watching yet another area of my life fall apart.
-page break -
I couldn't sleep. I missed Emmett. I hated how we'd left things and I was feeling very insecure about our relationship at this point. Would he break up with me now that I didn't follow through on our plans to have sex? Was he angry with me? He hadn't tried to contact me. That wasn't a good sign.
I seemed to be making a career out of losing loved ones lately. Half of them ran screaming from me once they got the opportunity to have Daphne instead, and the other half, I shoved away with my anger and hateful words.
This is stupid! Why am I lying here, wanting to talk to him? I just need to call him. The worse he can do is not answer. Or tell me that we're over. At least then I'll know.
My mind made up, I crept out of my room and headed for the kitchen where I'd left my phone earlier. As I got closer I heard voices. Apparently I wasn't the only one still awake at this hour.
Mom and Grandma were already in there. And they were talking. About me.
"-SHE is your daughter!"
"Bay's my daughter, too, mom!"
Wow! Was mom actually standing up to Grandma?
She went on to defend me, bragging about my art and how quickly I was picking up signing. It wasn't hard to guess that Grandma had been talking about my intelligence, or lack there of. She'd often wondered aloud how my mom had been so smart and yet I wasn't. At least not in school matters.
I knew it was wrong to listen to them. I knew they didn't intend for me to hear this. I should stop. I just couldn't seem to make myself leave. Is blood REALLY that important to her? Does Grandma not love me anymore?
I got my answer. "I love Bay. And I always will. But I can't pretend that I don't see her differently now."
Those words cut me to the quick. I'd known. I'd known all along. They didn't love me as much as Daphne. They didn't want me. I wasn't "theirs". I was different.
Racing up the stairs to my room, I shut the door and fell face first onto my bed. Tears and sobs escaped, no matter how hard I tried to muffle them. I hated them...I hated them all...
- page break -
It took me awhile to get over my bout of self pity. And by awhile I mean, like, I'm still not over it. Okay, I can admit that I didn't HATE them, I was simply being dramatic, but I was hurt. And angry. Again.
The only thing that seemed to make me feel better was painting, so I threw myself into the mural. I was almost done, too. It was coming along beautifully. Things were going well. At least until Mom came in, scaring the crap out of me!
I was late for tea. Big deal. Everyone would probably have more fun without me there, anyways. I tried to get out of it. I was defiant, and rude, but for some-one who lets Grandma walk all over her, Mom certainly had no trouble sticking it to me. That's because believe it or not, some of us still care about what our mothers think...That's what she told me. Point blank, to my face. Did she really believe that? Didn't she see that I CARED? That's why I was so hurt, is because I CARED what my mother and grandmother thought about me.
Pouting, I did as ordered.
-page break-
Tea went about as I expected. Grandma spent all her time fawning over Daphne and sympathizing over how horrible it must have been for her, growing up Latina and all. To be fair, Daphne didn't play into it over much. She tried to point out the good things in her life. I wasn't in the mood to be fair though and my sarcastic nature once again came to the fore. It wasn't a minute later that I had Grandma snapping at me once again.
Forget this! I wasn't going to sit here and be insulted any longer. I heard her true thoughts last night. I didn't need to hear anymore.
I fled the restaurant, so upset I could barely think straight. Mom followed me. I admitted that I heard them talking last night. Oops.
I knew she felt bad. Her face was an open book. Always had been. The suckiest part of all of this was that I couldn't even tell them how wrong they were.
"The thing is...Grandma's right."
"No. No, she's not."
"I'm not like her, mom! I'm not like you...I'm different!" That's why all this started in the first place. Because I KNEW something wasn't right. I knew that I didn't belong here. Didn't belong with the Kennish family.
To my horror, tears flowed from my eyes and I heard myself begging to be left alone. I hate crying! Especially in public!
For once she respected my wishes, and I hurried off, sliding into the back seat of a nearby cab.
"Where to, little lady?" The driver looked at me in his rear view mirror.
I want Emmett! "Just take me home, please."
Coward.
It wasn't a long drive, thankfully. By the time I reached my house, the tears had stopped and my anger had taken control. Without considering the consequences, I found myself in the garage, staring at my beautiful mural, a can of white paint in my hand. I threw some at the board. That felt good!
I did it again, and again. Watching with satisfaction as I ruined all my prior hard work.
I don't know how much time had passed before I came to and realized what I'd done. More tears welled in my eyes and I fought them back desperately. Enough crying! I'm sick of crying!
Time to get some answers. So I went to the only person I could think of at that moment. Regina.
- page break -
Knocking on that door was hard. Harder than I expected it to be.
"Hey."
"Hi."
Why is she just standing there, staring at me? "Can I come in?"
That seemed to snap her out of her trance. "Yeah." Opening the door wider, she let me in.
Walking by the mirror I couldn't help but cringe. That's why she was staring at me so intently...I look awful! Being covered in paint wasn't so bad, but the pale cheeks and red, swollen eyes didn't lie. She knew something was wrong.
Apparently Regina did have some mothering skills, even if she rarely used them on me, because as soon as I started to cry, again, she gave me the saddest, yet most understanding, smile.
"It's okay." Her voice was soft. Kind. "Come on. I'll make you a hot drink and we can talk."
Next thing I knew, I was sitting at the table with her, sipping the most delicious beverage I'd ever tasted in my life. and spilling my guts to her. Of all the people in my life, I knew she'd have one of the best chances of understanding how new and different this all was to me.
Regina makes sense to me. So many times my mom's comfort consists of her just wanting to deny facts and gloss over truths. It worked well when I was young, but now I knew better. Regina didn't do any of that. She said it like it was and she didn't flinch away from unpleasant truths. She also used sound logic. I respected that. Logic I could deal with.
When she told me that this wasn't the last time I'd be faced with prejudice against my heritage, I nodded in agreement. Hopefully, next time, knowing what I know now, I'll be able to handle it better.
We sat for a moment more, while I tried to gather up my courage. I was in a mess and I knew there was no way I could fix this problem on my own. I needed her help.
What if she says no? Can I handle her rejecting me again? Especially since I feel so close to her right now...
My fears didn't stop me. They couldn't. I had to know.
"I need another favor."
"Sure."
Ha! She says 'sure' now, but she has NO idea what I need...
Deciding it would be easier to show her, rather than explain, I took her hand and led the way to my ruined masterpiece.
"Oh."
See. I told you this was big.
To my surprise, and internal delight, she simply took a deep breath and picked up the paint brush. "We can fix this", she assured me, "but it will take awhile." Might as well get started.
We plunged right in. It was surprisingly enjoyable, having her paint with me. I couldn't help but wonder what my life would've been like had I grown up with her as my mom. Painting together. Learning about our heritage together. How different...
I once again thought of Emmett. He would be thrilled to know how well Regina and I were getting along these days. I resolved once more to go and see him soon. I needed to apologize. In person. I'm not giving up on us!
As we finished the last few strokes, Regina and I stepped back, critiquing our work.
"Not bad." She seemed impressed by my design.
"Thanks." I thought about hugging her, but we weren't there yet. Words it was, then. "And thanks for your help. I wouldn't have been able to finished it without you."
She laughed. "Seems to me like you finished it just fine. The first time, anyway. Next time, when something upsets you, how about you come to me BEFORE destroying any more of your art, hmm?"
I had to laugh too. That was the first open invitation I'd ever gotten from her. "Sounds good. Maybe next time I come over you can teach more more about being Latina."
"Sure."
In bed that night I was too keyed up to sleep. Again. At least this time it's a happy keyed up. Grandma was leaving in the morning. Thank goodness! I had plans to make up with Emmett. Daphne and I were getting along the best we had in a long while (I still couldn't believe she gave up the cameo for me!) and best of all, I was finally, FINALLY building a relationship with Regina. I smiled in the darkness. For the first time in a long while, things were looking up!
A/N: Thanks for all the encouragement to continue. Right now, I pretty much enjoy the way they show's heading so I think I'll stick with what I've got for now. We'll see how/ if things change later...