September 24th

"I really can't wait until we move out of this place."

Louis flopped onto the too small couch, trying to get comfortable, but alas, there was no position he could move that would satisfy him. He groaned, contorting his body until finally, he settled for his head lying upside down, so it was dangling from the couch, while his legs stuck up in the air, looking as if he were going to flip backwards off of the couch.

"I know, mate, I'm so glad this place is just temporary" Harry mumbled, settling for the floor of their living room, using the couch as a back rest.

Louis nodded and turned up right. It was true; the two boys were pushed into a terribly small flat right after One Direction was signed by Sony, mostly because their new, much larger flat was still undergoing renovations and the boys needed a place to stay.

Don't get them wrong—they appreciated having a place to live—but after living there for months and months…let's just say they were highly anticipating moving out.

Though…Louis didn't particularly mind the close living quarters, especially when it meant being closer to Harry.

"Just think Lou, November 1st is a bit less than two months away! It'll be great living in a bigger place, don't you think?"

Louis nodded and smiled, moving from his position on the couch to ruffle Harry's curly hair, "It'll be something else, Harry."

Harry smiled and leaned against Louis, closing his eyes when Louis continued to run his fingers through his hair.

Harry loved when Louis played with his hair. Of course, everyone knew his hair was one of his prized possessions, and he didn't spend time on it every day just for himself—he knew he had to keep up appearances, considering he was in one of the biggest boy bands in the country.

However, he would never turn down the opportunity for Louis to play with his curls. But it could only be Louis.

It was the way his fingers felt against his scalp. Harry could never put his finger on it, but Louis' touch always made him feel…different—his touch made him feel not only calm, but sensational.

But he wasn't going to question why he felt this way.

He was afraid it would take away from the feeling he got. He loved the feeling, and he never wanted it to go away.

Louis began humming a familiar tune, and Harry began to hum along, letting his head lean back. He smiled when he felt Louis press a tender kiss to his forehead as he hummed, and he let his lips linger,

"I have to go, Hazza."

"Hmm?" Harry hummed, not really listening, his focus on the soft fingers pressing against his scalp.

"I have to go to the store, love."

Harry's eyes opened slowly, and he nodded, "Okay, can I go with you?"

Louis grinned, "Sure. Let me go grab my keys. They should be in the same place I hid them from you last time!"

Harry laughed, "Why don't you let me drive, huh?"

Louis stood up and walked into another room before calling out, "Because you don't have a license!"

"Pish posh! No one drives with a license these days!"

"That's what you think," Louis said, returning from the room with his keys wrapped around his finger, "Also, I'm your guardian, remember? I have to make sure you don't go getting in car accidents. And that won't happen if I drive."

Harry gave him a disbelieving look and shook his head, "I bet you when I get my license I'll be a better driver than you are!"

"I'll believe it when I see it."

Harry smirked, and then gave him a contemplative look, "Lou?"

"Yes?"

"Why don't you teach me how to drive?"

Louis froze immediately—he knew the day would come eventually where Harry would ask him to teach him how to drive.

He knew what his answer had to be.

"Because," Louis said simply, trying to cover up his nervousness, "I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm not…certified to teach you." Lou said cautiously.

Harry got up and walked over to Louis, giving him a somber look and staring deep into his eyes. It was always Harry's eyes that got Louis to bend over backwards and give into his every wish.

He literally couldn't help it.

"Please Lou?" Harry grabbed Louis' hands and squeezed them, "You're my best friend, and I trust you. We won't even leave the street, I promise. Just…I'm 17 years old and I can't drive. And I'd love to be able to say that you were the person who taught me."

Louis groaned inwardly; of course Harry would use this on him. And of course, Louis would feel obligated to say yes.

Louis sighed. Screw Simon and his logic—he was going to give into Harry.

Louis squeezed Harry's hand and nodded, feeling his heart flutter when Harry's eyes shined with delight,

"Yes, alright, fine. I'll teach you—just don't tell Simon!"

Harry frowned slightly, but couldn't keep the amusement out his eyes, "Why can't I tell him?"

Louis shook his head and rattled his keys in front of Harry, "Don't worry about it, just don't mention it, yeah?" He held out the keys to Harry, "Do you want to drive, or not?"

Harry jumped and grabbed the keys from Louis, "'Course I do. Let's go!" Harry raced outside to see Louis' car parked outside, and Louis followed behind him, making sure to lock the door behind him. He turned back around towards the walkway, and smiled when he saw Harry already sitting in the driver's seat of Louis' car, honking the horn,

"Come on man! We don't have much time!"

Louis shook his head and ran towards the passenger seat, "Remember, only up and down the street," Louis reminded Harry as he strapped on his seat belt.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know." Harry muttered, starting the car and taking it out of its parking position and lightly put his foot on the gas pedal.

"There you are, that's it. Make sure you break a bit before the stop sign, my breaks are old…"

Comments like this went on for about ten minutes, and Louis was surprised with how well Harry was driving. He really was a fast learner, by the end of the fifteen minutes, he had already taught Harry how to parallel park! He let him drive up the street a bit more before he stopped him, remembering Simon's rules.

"Alright Hazza," Louis said, "Move so I can drive."

Harry pouted and put the car in park, "Please Lou? Let me drive to the store!" He gave Louis his puppy dog eyes, again, but Louis knew better, and turned his head away, opening his door so they could switch seats,

"No Harry. Come on, we need to go."

Harry rolled his eyes, but complied, "Oh alright, fine. But only because I love you."

Louis grinned and got in the driver's seat after Harry, waiting for him to get in the car before igniting the gas and driving to the store.

Once the boys got to the store, they were in and out in less than an hour, splitting up and getting the things they needed before meeting up at the checkout line. They paid and left quickly, Harry throwing his arm over Louis' shoulders as they walked to the car park.

"Louis?" Harry asked, pulling him in slightly closer.

"Yeah?"

"Can I drive home?"

Louis shook his head, "No, it's already getting really dark outside—"

"Oh but why! Come on, you saw me drive before and you said I was fine—"

"Yes, on a one way residential street! Driving home would mean going on the highway and—"

"I can do it! Come on! Don't you trust me?" Harry asked sadly, believing his words were true,

"Of course I do—"

"So let me drive. Listen, if I you start to get nervous—"

"I'm already nervous—"

"I'll pull over and let you drive. Okay? Please Lou? Please?" Harry looked at Louis deeply, "For me?"

Louis sighed, but seeing as he already broke Simon's rule, he decided there was no point in neglecting Harry. And like he said, if he got nervous, he would make Harry pull over. End of discussion.

He let Harry get in the driver's seat, and he warily strapped in his seat belt. Harry saw his uneasiness and laughed, reaching over to grip his thigh lightly, letting his thumb rub over his jeans,

"Hey, it's alright. I'll be careful, I promise. Here," He opened his hand and turned it over, so his palm was exposed, "I'll even hold your hand."

Louis stared at the outstretched hand, and easily laced his fingers with Harry, who squeezed his hand and let his thumb brush over his knuckle. He chuckled before starting the car and beginning his drive back to the flat.

The first fifteen minutes of the ride were going pretty smoothly—the boys were laughing and joking around, yet Harry was still completely alert while driving. Louis was starting to ease up and allowed himself to be calm, even though letting Harry drive could get him in big trouble.

"Hey Lou." Harry said, trying to catch his breath from laughter. He was pulling off of the highway now, and Louis was more than relieved.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you tell me not to tell Simon you let me drive?" He asked, taking a moment to glance over at him.

Louis sighed, figuring he didn't really have anything to lose, decided to tell him,

"Well—"

"Oh my god, Lou!"

"What—?"

Suddenly, Louis heard the front of the car collide into some hard with a loud, "BOOM!" He jolted forward, his head colliding with the dashboard somewhat softly, then suddenly, as if someone pushed him in his chest, his upper body flung backwards, making his back collide harshly with his seat.

It took Louis a moment to register what happened—he was just in a car accident, but what had they collided into?

Louis looked forward, out of the window and saw they his car was now nicely crashed with a tree just a few blocks from their flat. He let out a sigh of relief,

"Well, at least it wasn't another car, or a person." He looked over to Harry, and his face fell quickly.

Harry's eyes were closed and he was hanging over the driving wheel.

Louis unbuckled himself from his seat and reached over for him, pulling him off of the wheel and reclining the seat so he could get a better look at him,

"Harry?" He slapped his face, seeing if it would elicit some sort of response, "Harry, come on love, wake up."

"Lou?" Harry groaned, clutching his head.

"Oh, thank God." Louis muttered, letting his fingers run through Harry's hair and across his cheeks, relief flooding through him. If something bad happened to Harry because he was stupid enough not to listen to Simon…he didn't know what he would do with himself.

"My head hurts." Harry groaned again.

"I know, so does mine." A pause. "We have to get back to the flat to get some ice."

"Why don't we just call Simon?" Harry asked.

Louis' breath hitched as he thought of the consequences Simon would unleash for letting Harry drive. He immediately shook his head,

"No way. Simon would kill me—"

"Why?" Harry interjected, attempting to sit up, still holding his head.

"Because Simon knew you would ask me to drive. And he knew I would say yes. And he thought something like this would happen. But he thought you would get be much more wounded." Louis said regretfully, failing to hide the flinch that occurred after he said those words.

It really was something he did not want to think about.

Harry took a deep breath and frowned, letting his hands fall into his lap, "I'm sorry, Lou. If I would have known—"

"No, don't apologize, Harry. It was my fault for letting you drive in the first place. I shouldn't have let that happen."

"I shouldn't have forced you to let me drive—"

"You didn't, I let you.

"Yeah but—"

"I can't say no to you, Harry." Louis concluded, shutting the younger singer up, "I'd do anything for you, you know." He added quietly.

Harry smiled at him warmly and pulled Louis in for a long hug. They held each other tightly and Harry's mouth found it's way to Louis' ear, and he whispered, just loud enough so he could hear him,

"I love you, Lou." He began, "And you know I'd walk through fire for you."

Louis nodded simply, "I know, I love you too. I'd do the same—"

Harry pecked Louis' cheek, letting his head fall onto Louis' shoulder, "I'm sorry we're in this mess."

Louis ruffled Harry's hair, trying to smile for him, and he let his hand linger against his neck. "It's alright, Harry. We'll figure it out. Though, I'm not sure we are going to be able to drive home." He stated, pointing to the damage on the front of his car.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't realize how sharp the turn was…"

"It's alright," Louis smiled, "I'm just worried as to how we will get home."

"We could walk?" Harry suggested.

"Nah, it's a bit cold out. And we are quite a few blocks away—we don't need to be getting sick, you know."

Harry nodded and looked around the car, an idea sparking in his mind, "Why don't we just stay here until it's light out?"

"You mean…in the car?"

Harry nodded, "Yes! We have food, and I'm pretty sure there is a beach blanket in your trunk…" He looked at Louis excitedly, "Please?"

Louis melted at the look Harry was giving him—again with those damn eyes—and he couldn't help himself,

"Alright, yeah, let's do it."

Harry grinned and grabbed the blanket from the trunk while Louis reclined the back seat back as far as it would go, so it almost looked like a large, squishy platform.

Harry returned and immediately jumped into the back seat, letting the blanket cover his body and making room for Louis, "Come on then, I'm freezing!"

The oldest band member hummed and slid underneath the blanket next to Harry. The second he got under the blanket, Harry's arms found their way around Louis' waist, and before he knew it, Harry was practically lying on top of him, and his head was resting comfortably on his chest.

Louis wasn't complaining—Harry's body that close to his was something he could definitely get used to. He felt his heart drum as Harry snuggled closer into Louis and whispered a soft goodnight before Harry fell into a comfortable slumber.

Louis knew Simon was going to kill him in the morning for not being more careful—for not even calling him—but he didn't care, because Harry was fine and in his arms. And to Louis, that was all that mattered to him.

What Louis didn't know was that in two months' time, he would regret ever letting Harry drive that day.

Louis really hated cleaning—which he had to do every time Simon came to visit. Not only was he cleaning a flat that was way too big for one person, but he had to clean it by himself. Completely alone.

He shuddered and threw a pair of socks into the laundry room, shaking away the thought, though it kept creeping back up.

Louis hated being alone, and he hated coming home to an empty house with no one to share it with.

He sighed, looking around the grand flat again. Maybe it is just too big…

There was a sudden knock at the door, which really jolted Louis out of his thoughts. He glanced around the flat to make sure everything had been picked up and that it was presentable for Simon's standards before opening the door.

"Hello Simon," Louis said brightly, wishing his voice would cheer him up.

"'Ello Lou." Simon nodded and entered the flat, removing his scarf and placing it on the table that stood by the door.

"You cleaned before I got here, didn't you?" Simon smirked at Louis, who rubbed the back of his neck with his hand nervously.

"'Course I did. Wouldn't want you to reprimand me." Louis joked, closing the door behind Simon and meeting him in the living room, where they both took a seat on the couch.

"Ah yes, you know me very well, then." Simon smiled warmly at Louis and crossed his legs, which was a sign that a serious talk was brewing.

"Lou."

Louis looked down at the coffee table, which had the hospital statement lying on top of it, then back to Simon, "Yes?"

Simon sighed, "This is a very large flat." He said simply.

Louis nodded curtly and blinked. "Yes it is."

"You know my offer still stands—"

Louis stopped him by holding up his hand and smiling sadly, "Look, I'm going to be honest. I hate living here alone. I hate living here—being here—without Harry. It's…it's awful, Simon. And it kills me to be here and know he isn't going to come home at the end of the day," He paused again to catch his breath and shot Simon a tearful eye, "I know staring at the front door waiting for him to walk through it isn't going to help me," his voice cracked as he twiddled his fingers, looking around the flat again with a thoughtful smile,

"But Harry…if he were here Simon…he would kill me if I moved out. He loved this flat. I love this flat. It sucks to live here alone, but if I leave…it would be like leaving Harry, even though he's not here," Louis beamed and laughed at himself, "I make no sense, I know, I'm sorry. But, I can't leave just because you want me to. I couldn't leave if I wanted to."

Simon smiled at the boy in front of him, his heart swelling at Louis' love for Harry. He patted his knee, "You can't let Harry go, can you?"

Louis shook his head, letting his head fall slightly, but Simon ruffled his hair, "You really loved him, didn't you?"

Louis couldn't help but smile softly, nodding his head and folding his hands in his lap, "Completely."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Well, this isn't something you just say, Simon. It's more than I can put words."

"I understand." Simon smiled warmly at Louis, and reached his arm around his shoulders, pulling him in for an awkward hug, letting his arm hang over his shoulder. Louis hesitantly leaned into him, finding an odd comfort in Simon.

Simon was not the type of person to gradually give out hugs; in fact, he would refute them if anyone asked him for a hug, or any type of public display of affection. So for him to hug Louis as if he was his own flesh and blood—it was something Louis had never experienced before, and to be honest, he was honored.

"I know I don't seem like the emotional type, Lou," Simon began, "But I see you five boys like my own children. And you need to know, as the oldest, that I'm always just a phone call away."

Louis nodded and smiled gratefully, believing Simon's words and squeezing his shoulder back. Simon hummed and retracted his arm from Louis' shoulder, but before he could return it fully, Louis grabbed his wrist, something shiny catching his eye.

"Simon," Louis said, pointing to the shiny wristband on Simon's wrist, "What is that?"

Simon pulled his arm back harshly, letting his sleeve cover up his wrist, "It's nothing you should be concerned about, Louis."

Louis shook his head and reached for his wrist, successfully grabbing it and pulling Simon's sleeve up, revealing the shiny wristband. Simon groaned and turned his head away in shame, or was it embarrassment. Louis couldn't tell, and at the present moment, he didn't care.

He examined the wrist band, noticing it immediately as a band from the hospital right up the road from the flat.

The hospital also matched the hospital statement Louis had gotten in the mail the day earlier.

It was also the hospital Harry was taken to before he—

"Why were you at Harry's hospital?"

Simon hesitated at first, before taking a shaky breath, "It's none of your concern—"

"To hell it isn't!" Louis exclaimed, "Why were you at the hospital?" Louis demanded an answer, his heart soaring, his mind racing to all types of conclusions.

Because really, why else would Simon be at a Hospital that was not even near his own flat? Louis lived a good two hours away from Simon—it just didn't make any sense. The only logical explanation would be that Simon was at the hospital because of Harry.

But why?

Harry was dead.

Louis gave Simon a stern look and repeated himself, "Why. Were. You. At. The. Hospital?" Louis had an excited glint in his eyes, and he knew it was because he was getting his hopes up. But he didn't care.

He had spent months watching everyone say Harry's name with a wary glance towards his direction. He had spent months watching people sadly move on from Harry and spent hours wondering why. He had spent all of this time wishing he could bring his best friend back.

These past few months were spent watching how everyone still didn't know how to act around him, even the boys. It was like he was standing in the middle of a pail of eggshells and no one knew how to reach him without making more of a fuss. Louis couldn't help himself—and he knew it as mostly his fault for putting the boys in that situation. It was just that he didn't know what to do or how to act or how to survive without Harry.

But now? Now pieces of this never ending puzzle Louis was in may be coming together. Louis felt like he had a chance—a chance to add pieces to the puzzle. A chance to feel alive again. He may not be able to get Harry back—because he was dead—but now those questions he always wanted answered finally would be.

And who was Simon to deny him that opportunity, after the way he loved Harry?

Simon sighed and ran his fingers through his hair glaring at Louis. He hesitated again before speaking, "F—fine. I was getting tested and blood work done. It was standard procedure, Louis."

"Well then why did you hesitate telling me, then?" Louis returned harshly, his heart thumping in his chest.

"I don't like talking about hospitals, or any type of doctor's visit," Simon began, "And especially around you, Louis. You've already had to deal with so much; I've been worried about you." He paused and smiled sadly, "I don't want you to have to worry about me, too."

Louis let out a defeated sigh, but stayed triumphant and poked Simon, "I won't worry about you, Simon." He got a quick glance at the Hospital statement, making a mental note to stash that bill and any other hospital bills he may receive in the future. Louis smirked, watching as Simon swallowed a lump in his throat and tugged the collar of his shirt—a telling sign that he was lying.

Louis knew Simon was lying, and if he wasn't going to give him the truth?

Louis sighed. He was just going to have to find it out for himself.

He glanced back up at Simon, and smiled sweetly, "And you won't have to worry about me anymore, either."

Louis calls Simon and has him stop by the flat to pick up the mail.

Decides not to tell Simon about the statement, but asks him evasive questions about it.

"Simon, what's that on your wrist?" He covers it up, "It's nothing—"

"It looks like a hospital band…Simon…were you in the hospital?"

Simon smiled and shook his head, letting his sleeve cover the band, "Yes, of course I am fine—I just had a check-up, that's all." (really, Simon went to go see how Harry was progressing).