A Day in the Life of a Jedi – II
Everyone had fun and Anakin got really annoyed and angry and everyone blamed Ahsoka and Obi-Wan and then they all smiled and had some French toast cake.
When suddenly Dooku began to cough uncontrollably and collapsed to the ground. Ventress screamed and moved everybody out the way and began to use CPR on the fallen Dooku.
'Master, can you hear me? You know you are allergic to French toast!' cried Ventress as she pounded his chest up and down.
'Food poisoning, Dooku has, hmm?' said Yoda, 'or perhaps allergic reaction.' He pointed out from inside his King Kong outfit.
'Of course you stupid little green alien!' growled Ventress.
'Call me green alien, hmm? Maybe you, bald lady, are stupid!' said an angry Yoda.
Grievous pushed Yoda and Ventress out of the way as he scampered over to Dooku's side.
'My love, are you okay? Can you hear me?' whispered Grievous into Dooku's ears. Unfortunately Ahsoka, being a Togruta and all, overheard their conversation.
'Secret love!' screamed Ahsoka jumping up and down and almost pushing Palpatine into the punch. Anakin squealed and rushed to Palpatine's side before they both fell into the punch.
'Punch party!' screamed Obi-Wan before dragging Ventress by the toes into the punch bowl. Luminara shrugged and grabbed Barriss and told her how Cody wasn't actually in love with her and that whatever dreams Barriss ever had would never come true unless they met a fairy. Barriss screamed and ran out of Anakin's quarters crying. Cody ran after her screaming: 'What! I thought you loved me! You told me! And we kissed and ate pie and had some toast and got married even though you are like older than me but I am like older than you and we are like both too young and I talk too much!' and ran after her.
'More secret love!' cried Ahsoka as she hugged Rex/Padmé. Padmé and Anakin exchanged glances.
'Hey Ani,' said Padmé, 'I couldn't help but notice the way you rushed to the Chancellor's side. I was just a little worried. What is it with him and you? Whenever I go to see him you are always with him? Is there something you're not telling me?' cried Padmé.
'What? You think I'm having an affair with the Chancellor? What kind of a woman are you?' screamed Anakin as he shook the sorrowful Senator on the shoulders. Padmé harrumphed and straightened out her Rex costume and walked out of his room.
'You're not very good at that kind of stuff Master.' said Ahsoka as she jumped from above in front of him. He growled at her and turned his back to her and walked towards Mace. 'Rude!' she hissed and walked over to Shaak Ti. 'Hey, Master Ti, are you here or are you a hologram? Did Obi-Wan invite you? Why didn't he tell me? Why are your lips white? Why are you orange? Why do you wear your eyeshadow like that or is that natural?' asked Ahsoka.
'Yes, no, I have no idea, because, because, and yes, it is natural.' She replied.
'Master Ti, do you drink Shark Tea?' asked Ahsoka.
'No! That is not my name! It is spelt S-H-A-A-K T-I not S-H-A-R-K T-E-A! I hate padawans! That's why I work on Kamino! Clones aren't as annoying as you!' she screamed and jumped into the punch bowl.
'Okay, okay, what happened to her?' sighed Ahsoka as she jumped on Dooku's unconscious face. Kit Fisto removed her from Dooku's face and threw her onto the fan, all the while still smiling.
'Weeeeeee!' cried Ahsoka, the fan was on and she was spinning rapidly. She climbed up on top of the fan and their found Obi-Wan and Satine sitting, and eating pizza.
'What? How come you guys eat pizza? I eat pizza too! Gimme!' Ahsoka screamed as she lunged and snatched up a piece and swallowed it in one gulp.
'Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!' screamed Satine like a baby and then Obi-Wan kicked her and she fell off the fan. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan high-fived.
'Master Kenobi?' asked Ahsoka, 'are you and Satine in the secret love group?' she asked.
'No, it is against the Jedi rules and regulations, but I wish.' He said.
'You mean in the Jedi hand manual? And I thought that you and Sajjie were in love? Or do you do two at once? Wow! You must be secret Obi-Wan!' cried Ahsoka. Obi-Wan nodded happily before reaching his hand behind his back and pulling out several pretty little Barbie dolls.
'Yay! I bags being Teresa!' cried Ahsoka as she snatched the doll from his grasp. Obi-Wan looked up at her with big, puppy eyes and started crying uncontrollably.
'But I wanted to be Teresa! She's my favourite! We've been through so much together! The sale at the mall, the petshop, which one to choose at the shoe store and her prom dress!' cried Obi-Wan tears rolling down his cheeks and soaking his beard.
'Okay, okay! You can have her!' shouted Ahsoka warily passing him the Barbie doll. Obi-Wan smiled and clutched her close to his chest.
'Now lets play Teresa and Ken cheat on Barbie and have a sausage sizzle!' cried Obi-Wan happily.
Suddenly Ahsoka could feel herself being pulled by the Force. She looked down as she floated.
'What the? Rex? You have the Force!' yelled Ahsoka as she landed on the ground. Too late, he realised his mistake. Ahsoka rushed at him and was very happy she was hugging her Rex/Padmé.
'Yes,' he said happily, 'yes, yes yes! Mine, all MINE!' he screamed and ran across the room quickly detaching Ahsoka before jumping in the punch bowl.
'Well, everyone seems to like the punch.' said Ahsoka.
'Yep! Hey Snips! Check this new coffeepot I bought at the festival!' said Anakin as he did a handstand on his shoulder (which is kinda impossible).
'What festival?' asked Ahsoka.
'The annual septuagenarian festival! They hold it on Tatooine.' He added.
'Master, aren't you just a little too young to go to such a festivity?' she asked while holding a schoolmistress figurine which Plo Koon gave her for her ninth birthday.
'No, I'm not!' he screamed.
'Well, do you want to come with me and make friendship anklets?' she asked.
'No! I'm not a little girl!' Anakin yelled and ran into the wall. Ahsoka shrugged and walked over to the punch bowl. As she peered inside she couldn't see anyone who had been in the punch bowl, no Master Ti, Ventress or Palpatine. She cocked her head to the side before putting her face in the bowl and tasting some of the liquid. It tasted like roasted pumpkin and French toast. She then jumped into the bowl. It was very weird. She fell and then landed on something soft and pudgy.
'Marshmallow!' she screamed and began to eat it. When she had finished it she stood up and put her sunglasses on and jumped into a nearby shopping trolley. Inside the trolley was a bottle of poison labelled mushroom sauce.
She gazed up at the tall white hills of ice and snow.
'I must be on Hoth!' she said to no one in particular. 'But I didn't know that Hoth was in the punch!'She screamed. Suddenly she realised that the snow hills were ice-cream.
'Ice-cream world!' she screamed and did a couple of backflips to celebrate. Then out of nowhere Shaak Ti appeared skipping and singing a song:
'Ice-cream, ice-cream, happy day,
Chocolate and strawberry and Weequay,
Cream and jam and marshmallow goo,
Now Ahsoka's here to join in too!'
Ahsoka stopped to watch the "mature" Jedi Master skip past happily with what Ahsoka was sure was cream and M&M's on her orange face. Ahsoka decided to follow her and she journeyed for many days until they ended up in a fairy floss blizzard. When all hope seemed lost Ventress came along and kidnapped Ahsoka. She dragged her for many hours.
'What are you doing you crazy Sith?' wailed Ahsoka.
'I need you to open this holocron.' She hissed.
'Okay, so why don't you open it yourself?' asked Ahsoka.
'Because I don't have-wait, I do. Darn.' Muttered Ventress, then she threw Ahsoka at a wall but the wall was jelly so Ahsoka bounced back and landed on top of Ventress. The assassin activated her lightsabers but to her disappointment, they had transformed into long red and white candy canes. Ahsoka did a creepy laugh and ran away. She had been running for a couple of hours when she heard a voice. There at the side of a chocolate waterfall stood Palpatine. In his hand was a hologram of a clone.
'Execute Order 66.' sounded his creepy little voice that would scare little younglings in turbolifts. Ahsoka walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.
'Excuse me Chancellor, but what is Order 66?' she asked.
'Well dearest, come and sit on my lap and I will tell you what it is,' he said as Ahsoka sat on his lap, 'Order 66 is when I order all the clones-'
'All the clones?' asked Ahsoka.
'Yes, all the clones! As I was saying I order all the clones to buy each member of the Jedi Order a MacValue Meal.'
To be continued