A Day in the Life of a Jedi – III

'Yes, all the clones! As I was saying I order all the clones to buy each member of the Jedi Order a MacValue Meal.'

Ahsoka smiled up expectantly at the Chancellor/Emperor. After a few awkward seconds he asked:

'What!' he asked as Ahsoka looked at him with puppy eyes.

'When do I get mine?' she asked pleadingly.

'Your what?' replied Palpatine.

'My MacValue Meal!' Ahsoka screamed.

'Oh, soon. Soon, my dear, soon.'

'Really?' asked Ahsoka.

'Yes.'

Really, really?'

'Yes! Really, really!'

'Really, really with sugar on top?'

'Yes! Yes! Yes!' Screamed Palpatine as he flung her off his lap and through her into a turbolift made of icing.

Meanwhile, in Anakin's quarters…

Because of Obi-Wan's scary happiness, a funky disco was in session. All the lights were off, someone had constructed a makeshift disco ball, random people were laughing their heads off for absolutely no reason at all and Rex/ Padmé was dancing like there's no tomorrow.

'Hey Obi-Wan!' yelled Anakin over the blaring music, 'have you seen Ahsoka?'

'No, is she dancing?' asked Obi-Wan.

'No!' he replied

'I can't see her either!' yelled Obi-Wan.

'Okay, so do you want to dance with me?' asked Anakin.

'Yeah! Satine doesn't dance because her goldfish find it childish!' he screamed back. So Anakin and Obi-Wan danced all night long.

The Next Day in Ice-Cream Land…

'La la la la la la!' sung Shaak Ti as she pranced around Ahsoka, all the while throwing little flowers on her head. 'Sing sings sing, Aurra Sing! La la la la la la la la la la!' she sang as Ahsoka just sat there grumbling to herself.

'Master Ti? Are you ever going to stop that incessant singing?' asked Ahsoka as she covered her montrals with her hands.

'NNNNOOOOO! Rawr! Evil turtle monster!' screamed Shaak Ti, suddenly angry. She grabbed Ahsoka and danced her around the whole morning before sitting her down at a table where they both enjoyed pancakes and waffles for breakfast. When they had finished, Ahsoka stood up.

'Master Ti? How do we get out of ice-cream land and the punch bowl and go back to the fully sick party?' asked Ahsoka. Shaak, before answering, dashed out of the room and came back out dressed in a fully black secret spy costume, sunnies included. She ripped off her sunnies and looked at the amused Ahsoka.

'We do it… commando.'

'Okay!'

Back in Anakin's Quarters…

'Men,' started Anakin

'What about the women here?' whined Padmé.

'Fine! Men, and women, today we not only beat the Galaxy-Wide Record for the longest party of crazy freaks, but we eliminate the horrible ghastly order that call themselves … Jedi.'

'Sorry sir, but aren't you a Jedi?' asked Cody.

'Me? A Jedi? No way! I am a Sith Lord aren't I?' asked Anakin suddenly bewildered.

'No sir, you are as Jedi as a butterfly.' Replied Cody.

'But I am a Sith!' cried Anakin.

'I'm sorry sir, but you just aren't a Sith.' Replied Cody as tears began to roll down Anakin's cheeks and Obi-Wan's.

'But I am right?' asked Obi-Wan hopefully.

'No, General. Sadly you are not a Sith either.'reasoned Cody.

Anakin's lip began to tremble and then his face poured out so many tears of desperate sadness that the room kept filling until they were up to their necks in it. Everyone was suddenly wearing bikinis and had weird floatation devices and were floating around the room.

''You guys never told me this was a POOL PARTY!' screamed Ventress as she dived under the waves and began to play volleyball with Admiral Yularen.

'Woo hoo! Par-tay!' cheered Obi-Wan and they swum all night long.

Meanwhile… in Ice-Cream Land…

'Ok, Master, what do we do after we change into the awesome secret spy costumes?' asked Ahsoka.

'Well, youngling,' said Shaak Ti,

'PADAWAN!' screamed Ahsoka and began to strangle Shaak Ti until she managed to rasp: 'Fine, Padawan!'

'As you were saying?' said Ahsoka.

'We jump onto the computer-' Shaak started.

'What is a computer?' asked Ahsoka.

Shaak facepalmed and then explained to her what a computer was and its functions before anwering all Ahsoka's questions about tsunamis and doors.

'As I was saying! WE go on the computer and onto Spacebook and overwrite Palpatine's account and deactivate "crazy punchbowl ice-cream wonderland" and then we should materialize back to the fully sick party. Simple.' Said Shaak Ti.

'I see, so there will be no bell ringing?' asked Ahsoka.

'No, but if you want I might be able to squeeze in some brain parasites?' replied Shaak Ti.

'Awesome.'

Back in The Temple…

'Oh my Force! It's a fork!'yelled Dooku as he ran around in circles in the Jedi Temple's refresher.'I had no idea these things even existed!' cried Dooku happily as he skipped around in the 'fresher. Little did he know that Mace was watching him from the door, what was going through Mace's mind as he watched the beautiful young Dooku dance with a fork was unknown.

Back in Anakin's Quarters…

'You know what Master?' asked Anakin.

'What Anakin?' replied Obi-Wan.

'I think I want to live in India.'

'Where in the galaxy is India?'

'I don't know, Ventress was telling me about it and-'

'You know you shouldn't listen to Ventress, she doesn't always tell the truth.'

'But I thought that India really existed.'

'I'll tell you what? I bet India does exist, and I'll help you find it.'

'Oh, goodie!'

Meanwhile… in Ice-Cream Land…

'Master Ti?' asked Ahsoka, 'have you ever fallen in love?'

Shaak sighed and sat on her trampoline.

'Well I was once young and in love with his magnificent young man.'

'Yeah, then what happened?'

'I found out that "he" was actually a she, and that "he" was actually a changeling.'

'Oh.'

Back in Anakin's Quarters…

'About India,' said Obi-Wan, ' I was wondering while we are out adventuring to find India, can we buy a croissant?'

'A Coruscant?'

'No, a croissant.'

'A Coruscant?'

'No, a croissant, it is a yummy food that I like to eat when I play bingo.'

'Oh, a Coruscant.'

Facepalm.

Meanwhile… in Ice-Cream Land…

Ahsoka was busy hacking into Palpatine's Spacebook account, of which he had named "Supreme Darth Chancellor Sidious Palpatine of Awesomeness", and of which she had been assigned to do while Shaak Ti sorted her socks. She finally logged in and began to view his wall.

Supreme Darth Chancellor Sidious Palpatine of Awesomeness wrote: Best day ever! Launched attasck on Jedi, lied to a little stripey kid and went for a joyride on my new motorcycle.

There were three likes by: Darth Plagueis, Cad Bane and Shaak Ti?

She then opened "crazy punchbowl ice-cream wonderland" and deactivated it. she closed her eyes and when she opened them she found herself sitting in the middle of Anakin and Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan waved to her. Ahsoka smiled happily and embraced Anakin in a hug so tight that he vomited up a beetle.

Back in The Temple…

'Mace? Did you just see me dancing with the fork? Cause if you did I was not dancing, I was doing a happy routine out of pleasure of finding this extinct material.' said Dooku as he spun around to face Mace who he had just acknowledged standing in the refresher's doorway.

'Don't worry, Dooku, sometimes I dance with my Pokemon trading cards!' replied Mace.

Back in Anakin's Quarters…

'Eww a beetle!' screamed Obi-Wan as he jumped onto Anakin's shoulders.

'Umm, errr, I do not know how that…beetle… got into my digestive system. I only remember seeing a beetle while I was eating my Galactic Pops with milk, but I was to busy playing with Aliminium Falcon and mini Han Solo and Chewbacca action figures to remember if it went in my cereal or not.' screamed Anakin as he jumped onto the couch.

Ventress ran up to them and hugged Obi-Wan for ages until he passed her a medal for the best hugger ever. Ventress smiled. And it was creepy. Then she did a liitle dance and ran off to whack Kit Fisto with her medal.