Quinn had been burned far too many times to ever say she fell in love with someone again. Falling in love just didn't happen for her any more. Quinn fell into interest with people. She wanted those that intrigued her, those that promised something exciting and different.
Rachel Berry was intriguing and exciting and different. She was sweet with a good dose of strange in there. Though sometimes she would speak out, she always meant well by it, and Quinn had come to accept her random bouts of criticism as best she could. They never really hit hard spots, and when Rachel explained to her the sins she had committed by overcooking tofu, well, Quinn was just too amused to get mad.
And every time Rachel mentioned Finn, it fed this jealous feeling coiled low in Quinn's stomach. It certainly wasn't jealousy that this new girl was talking about her high school boyfriend, because Quinn had well and truly moved on from Finn. In fact, having dated Finn, she knew just how much of an idiot he was - and just how much better Rachel deserved.
"Just have faith." Quinn instructed as Rachel once more attempted a cartwheel and, at the last minute, changed her mind. They had finally gotten around to those cheerleading lessons Rachel had asked about - even if cartwheeling was just basic gymnastics.
Rachel huffed, dragging herself up from the ground. "It's scary, Quinn." She protested, rubbing her hands on her pants and leaving grassy stains there. After the first time she had landed on her back with a solid thud Rachel had been naturally wary about attempting the stunt again.
Quinn smiled, took a few steps, and performed a perfect cartwheel. "Just like that. You'll never get it if you just don't try." When she had learned, there had been a lot of awkward falls and very poor cartwheels involved. It wasn't something you just did once and suddenly had perfected.
Again, Rachel took a moment before starting her run up, this time trusting in her hands to support her body. It wasn't the best cartwheel - Rachel's legs stuck out at an angle from her body, as if they did not wish to be so far from the ground. Her landing wasn't exactly pretty either, as she rolled into a crouch then bounced back onto her feet. "Did I do it?' Rachel asked, barely restrained excitement showing in her eyes.
"Needs a bit more work, but yeah, you did." Quinn said, coming over to take Rachel's grass-stained hands in her own.
Rachel laughed loudly, pulling Quinn into a tight hug. "That's the most fun I've had in a long time." Rachel admitted when she pulled back, snatching Quinn's hand up to drag her to a nearby ice cream stand.
Whilst Quinn had been there, Rachel had gone out on dates with Finn. She felt some satisfaction at knowing she was the one to show Rachel a good time and not the over-sized idiot who was taking his girlfriend for granted.
As they shared ice creams on a park bench, sweaty and - in places - green, Quinn decided that she would make Rachel hers.
–––
"Santana." Quinn said into the mouthpiece of the phone, keeping an eye on the door - even though she knew Rachel was sound asleep. "I need your help."
And she should feel bad she was doing this, but Quinn didn't. She felt alive in an entirely different way now - different to when she and Rachel had been laughing and working on her gymnastic skills together. This was an adrenaline rush, the exciting feeling she got when she was doing something underhanded.
It was bad, but the ends justified the means. And the end was oh so worth it.
"Shoot, Q." Santana answered around a yawn, the sounds of a late-night television program humming in the background.
Quinn swallowed and couldn't help the smile on her face. "Rachel has a play tomorrow night." Her tongue darted out to whet her lips as she prepared herself to commit fully to her plan. But it was for the best. Rachel deserved it. "I need you to make sure Finn doesn't go."
An interested noise came down the line, and seconds later the television show in the background turned off. "Might I ask why?"
Ever since Finn had outed Santana, the girl had held a grudge against him. And ever since... well, everything Finn had done to her, Quinn felt the same. Right now the fact that she - the new, suicidal girl Rachel found - was the one helping Rachel most with her production made Finn look even worse. Unsupportive and uncaring. He didn't even seem to notice that Quinn had moved herself in, and - for as long as she stayed - he was unwelcome. "She deserves better. I want you to break them up."
Quinn could picture the sly smirk drifting across Santana's features. They really were alike in more ways than one would expect. "I'm in just for making Hudson suffer." Santana drawled. "But what comes after you ruin the happy couple?"
Now, Quinn had not said outright to anyone she liked Rachel. Because she didn't - not like that. She just wanted to make her happier than Finn did. She wanted that bright star to be in her own galaxy. "I step in." Santana likely knew Quinn had a lean towards bisexuality, at least. A horny teenager who did not want to add to her offspring did find appeal in the lack of pregnancy that stemmed from a lesbian relationship. On top of that, Santana and Brittany had always been the sort looking to spice things up - curiosity gave the cat amazing orgasms, if she were to speak so crudely.
Santana paused a moment. "I'm not going to tell anyone." She said, though Quinn knew that Brittany finding out was a given. "But are you sure this is the right way to go about it? I'm all for breaking some balls tomorrow, but if your lady-crush finds out it probably won't end well."
"She's not a lady-crush." Quinn bristled at the term, before then coming to accept what Santana said. If she went there, convinced Finn to miss the performance - make him look like a loser or a cheater or whatever Santana had in mind... and Rachel found out... "And she'll never find out." Quinn stated firmly.
And then Santana's tone returned to its happy home-wrecker way from before. "By tomorrow night Finn Hudson will be a cheating slob. As if he wasn't a slob already." Santana added at the end with a snort. "Good luck, Q."
"Thanks."
–––
If Rachel had been a mess before the play started, she was a catastrophic mess on her opening night. Which wasn't entirely accurate, as the show was only open one night, but it made Rachel feel more like the Broadway star she was to say it that way.
"It's going to be fine, Rachel." Quinn said, hovering around the brunette backstage. She hadn't immediately gone there, but Rachel had spotted her taking her front row seat and dragged her out back. Around them bustled other actors, the hair and make-up girls cycling through people in rapid order. Rachel had been done up in a blonde wig, which didn't look too bad on her. Part of it was still in a roller, and she wore a cheerleading outfit (not in McKinley red and white but Costume Department black and yellow), fussing with the pleats.
"What if the set falls apart? We shouldn't be made to trust these first years with anything like this." She complained, catching the eye of many other first years who looked less than impressed with her assessment. "And Finn isn't even here yet! We open in half an hour, who does he think he is?" She added, glancing around the curtain again to find her boyfriend's seat vacant.
Quinn tried not to smile, the weight of the cell phone in her pocket heavy against her thigh.
Idiot. Convinced him the show was next week. Britt got a photo that looks like he grabbed my tits. All good here Q. xx S&B.
It was an awful scheme, really, and the stress Rachel felt was affecting Quinn. "Breathe." She instructed, taking Rachel's hands in her own. The girl looked at her as if to say breathe? now?, but did so obediently. Quinn kept her eyes focused on Rachel's, trying to draw out some of her bad mood - or put some good into her. All things considered, Quinn was feeling pretty good. Everything was coming together for her.
She had always known heading up to that roof was a good idea, she just hadn't expected it to end this way.
Quinn returned to herself and squeezed Rachel's hands, pleased to find the brunette smiling weakly at her. "You'll be fantastic, Rachel. I just know it." She promised just as a stage hand came to usher her back into the seating area. "Good luck." She said, giving Rachel's hands a final squeeze before they were separated.
"Thank you, Quinn!" Rachel called to her retreating form before heading back to get her hair styled properly.
Quinn made her way off the stage, the kind boy holding her hand as she jumped off the small ledge. The auditorium was starting to fill up, one section blocked off for NYADA staff and students, the rest open to the public.
Thanks S, I owe you one.
She replied once back in her seat, turning her phone to silent to wait for the beginning of the show.
–––
Though it was only an hour in order to fit in another students play that night, Rachel made the most of it. Quinn was in awe of the whole thing. The sets looked fine - for a first year, they had done a brilliant job. There was a classroom (as boring and vanilla as the real ones at McKinley had been), an oval where the Cheerio's scenes took place, a lounge room (complete with hauntingly accurate Christian symbols on every surface), and a hospital.
Watching Rachel up there was like watching her own life. Finn must have told Rachel all about her for this script to form before they had even met one another. From the smug head cheerleader pose to the heartfelt rendition of Papa Don't Preach (only in Rachel's play this came as Quinn pleaded for her father to help her - a more perfect composition than in real life) to the birthing scene.
Being in the front row was a perfect choice for Quinn because she could hide her watery eyes. A few tears even made their way down her cheek, falling over the knotted hands sitting in her lap. It was hard to sit there and watch someone else's assessment of your life, and Rachel wasn't simply easy on her. There was a brutal honesty to those monologues when she spoke to the audience of her cheating and determination to get what she wanted - no matter the cost.
The struck a cord with Quinn, sitting there, as determined to get Rachel now as she had been to rule the school then.
The play ended, not with Beth's birth or Quinn's graduation, but with a simple scene of her leaving the fictional city Rachel had created. It even came complete with a speech farewelling the backwater town that had done nothing for her her whole life, oddly reminiscent of Quinn's thoughts as she caught the train across country to New York to start again at Yale.
She didn't know if anyone else stood to applaud Rachel's performance - how couldn't they, really? - but it didn't matter. Quinn was consumed in the world that consisted of Rachel, their eyes locked as the brunette took her bow. There was no sound other than Quinn's own clapping and cheering, everyone else falling into the background - not even worthy of white noise. Not in her mind. The only thing that mattered to her was Rachel's wide, toothy smile.
Whether she knew it or not, on that stage Rachel had given Quinn a second chance. She had taken her past and done with it something good, but also honest. There weren't excuses for her behaviour but real reasons. Quinn might not be able to face those reasons aloud, to admit them to anyone, but they were there - Rachel had been her voice.
"Thank you! This was all inspired by someone very dear to me. Someone I'm so glad I met." Quinn didn't notice that she had stopped breathing until Rachel jumped off stage to pull her into a hug, forcing her to choke and stumble forwards.
Into her ear, Rachel whispered a string of thanks.
Quinn tried to convince herself that she didn't fall in love anymore.
–––
author's notes: sorry for the short chapter, but this really feels like the place for this one to end. there are still around five or so chapters to come of this, so don't think things are getting better just yet. :) as always, reviews are loved. thank you all for reading!
for those who read paradise, my other faberry fic, i have just uploaded a sequel - catching sparks. :)