Okay, I know it's been a month. But I have had CRIPPLING writer's block- on BOTH stories. I felt so terrible when I realized this, I cut short my plan for this chapter, which was this chapter, what will be chapter six, and half of chapter 7. My holes in the middle were what was keeping this down. But you've waited long enough, so without further ado, chapter 5!
If this were one of the those scandalous-cover- that-promises-drama-and-turns-out to-be-a-secret-moral-learn-about-acceptance-of-everyone-book, then this whole alliance would work out perfectly and the real reason Astrid is so evil would be because she's in an abusive home or something, and then they'd become best friends and Hiccup and Astrid would get married and they'd have a bunch of pretty, genius kids with green eyes like Hiccup's.
If only it were so easy.
Lindsay's eyes keep shifting to the passenger's side. Nope, it's not a scrawny nerd making faces at her sitting there.
It's Astrid Hofferson.
"Um, my house is on this road," she says. Lindsay nods. She's seriously thinking she needs a psychiatric appointment. Stat. Really, it's too late to be regretting this, because they're turning in Astrid's driveway. Yep, that's right; she could be at Hiccup's talking to someone she actually likes, but she's going to her worst enemy's to hang out and strategize for the said worst enemy to get her best friend.
Really, she has to be insane.
Oh, even more nuts, she lied to Hiccup about where she was going. She's never lied to him before, and it feels worse than jeans a size too small.
She parks the car.
Astrid's house is normal. It's unremarkable. It's not the imposing size of Hiccup's my-dad-owns-a-company-so-our-place-is-practically-a-castle house, or even the we-need-all-the-space-we-can-get size of Lindsay's house; it's not small either. Just an average midsize yellow rancher. This unsettles Lindsay more than anything, that it's so very normal. There'll probably be displays of weapons every couple of feet inside. Oh, God, what if her parents are there? What if they think they're friends? Lindsay may have to make a break for it right then.
Oh, wonderful. The minute they walk in, Astrid's mom greets them. "Hi, honey! Who's this?" She's the older version of Astrid: perfect. She's fit, beautiful, and clearly an awesome mom. Who else actually gets up to meet their kids? And is she imagining the smell of cookies wafting form the kitchen?
"I'm Lindsay," she says, adding her meeting-parents smile. "It's wonderful to meet you."
Astrid's mom grins. Polite teen! Gasp! "Would you girls like some cookies?"
Aha! She really is perfect! She makes COOKIES!
"Nah, Mom, maybe later," Astrid says. "We've got a lot of work to do."
Lindsay looks over Astrid. She tries to hide her smirk. "Oh, a lot to do."
Astrid leads her to her room. It's painted a very pale blue, a little sloppy but not to Hiccup levels of messiness. Her homework is sprawled across her desk; pictures are pinned to the wall and framed on shelves. She's a got a small bookshelf in the corner. Lindsay kneels to read the spines of the books. Surprisingly, they've got some shared books: Stephen King in all his glorious strangeness, the Hunger Games, the Luxe books, Pretty Little Liars, Harry Potter. Lindsay wants to make some Potter references, but not everyone is as mad about HP as she is, and she doesn't want to get a blank look back. She has before. Lindsay stands back up and sits in Astrid's beanbag chair, tossing aside a couple hoodies and a Converse sneaker. She opens her mouth fully intending to start her instruction of How to Woo Hiccup, but then realized she has no idea what to say. Astrid looking as her like an eager student on the first day of school isn't helping.
"Um."
She thinks. Hiccup. Hiccup with his sarcasm and his clumsiness and sweetness. Think about Hiccup. "Don't act like someone you're not for him. He'd hate that. He's original, y'know? He won't want someone unoriginal; he won't want someone who hides who they are."
She feels like her words hit home. Not that Astrid reacts; but the tide shifts in her ocean eyes. She keeps going.
"He's really sweet. He believes in all that chivalry stuff; it took forever to convince him he didn't have to open my car door for me. So, I know you're super independent, but don't act rude to him if he does stuff like that." She breathes.
"But how do I get him to—?"
"Notice you?" Lindsay raises her eyebrows. "I don't know, Astrid, maybe acknowledge he exists instead of pushing him into walls?" She sighs, frustrated; she made herself swear she'd be civil, and she's already slipping. "Be nice. Say hi. Tolerate the stammering. He's a pretty wonderful person, I wouldn't worry about that part much. But," she continues, reclining her feet on Astrid's bed, "he's super shy. You will be making all the first moves, 'kay?"
Astrid greens. "No, I can't." Lindsay's eyes narrow. Oh, so she's worried about the rumors flying: Astrid Hofferson asked out Hiccup Haddock! "Do you care about him or what that idiot Scoot Lout thinks?" she demands.
"Scott," Astrid corrects quietly.
"Whatever! I know you two are like the on and off it couple or something, but he makes an amoeba look like a genius. I don't care what he thinks about me and I suggest you adopt the same attitude," Lindsay snaps back. Astrid shrinks. Lindsay's pleased; she's getting pretty good at this pushing-Astrid-back thing. Heck, if they both survive this alliance, they may end up becoming sort-of friends. Okay, never mind; that thought is too revolutionary. No longer hating each other, then.
Astrid straightens and Lindsay reminds herself she's trying to be nice, not get pounded into Astrid's floor. "Just, you talk to him first. He'll figure out how to approach you eventually. Eventually," she repeats.
Astrid nods, determinedly.
"I mean, he got used to me," she continues.
"You and him are really close," Astrid observes, and there's an edge of something creeping into her voice. Is she…jealous?
"Yeah. Best friends." She breathes. "I have an idea to get the ball rolling," she tells Astrid. "First, a question: how well can you cook?"
"Hiccup," Lindsay asks, "What would you do if Astrid Hofferson asked you out?"
Hiccup chokes on his apple. "What?"
"What would you do if Astrid Hofferson asked you out?"
"Die from shock," he says, using his foot to pet Toothless.
She half-heartedly throws a pillow at him. "For real. What would you say?"
"Are you on drugs?" he demands. "Because you're acting really strange."
"More than normal?" she jokes.
"If that's possible…yes." She throws his foot off of Toothless; he puts it right back. She gets a mischievous glint in her eye and takes off her lime green converse. She kicks his leg off and puts hers where it was. He kicks her back.
"This could go on," she says.
"Bring it."
After a ferocious kicking battle in which she's sure they'll both get bruises from, she lets him put his leg up. She waits until he's back interested in whatever prototype he's sketching before she attacks his foot with her toes.
"Gahh! Stop, that tickles!" He shrieks.
"NEVER!"
"Okay then!" He tackles her with un-Hiccup-like strength and starts tickling her belly. The worst thing is she's SUPER ticklish. She's laughing so hard she can't even breathe enough to beg him to quit.
Their eyes meet and time freezes. Hiccup suddenly realizes he's horizontal on her and scrambles up, cheeks burning. It feels like something just changed between them and it's completely awkward now. Lindsay puts her shoe back on slowly and fiddles with her pencil. "So what would you do?" she asks again.
Hiccup shifts. "I don't know what I'd do if any girl asked me out, much less Astrid Hofferson." Something occurs to him, and he asks before he wonders if she'll mind: "Did you ever have a boyfriend?"
She blushes. "Yeah. Nick… Aidan. Then last year, I almost did…it didn't work out."
"What were they like?"
She smiles, her eyes vague with remembrance as she looks past him to the past. "Nick was sweet. He was always slipping me notes and I never figured out how. I'd find them in my gym shoes, my science notebook, the pocket of my coat. He moved after we'd gone out for about eight months. California was just too far to keep it going. Aidan was hilarious; he could always make me laugh. He was just enough taller than me. Then there was Matt Hybrod…that just wasn't meant to be." She rushes through the last words.
"Why?"
"He liked someone else." She strokes Toothless' snout. "What about you?"
"Not really."
"Oh, come on, you're telling me no one wanted a Hiccup lovemuffin?"
"Did you just call me a lovemuffin?"
"Yes. Obviously, I need to work on my slang. Seriously, though?"
"This is so good for my self-esteem," he mutters.
"I said I didn't believe no one wanted all of this!"
"Well, they didn't," he shoots back.
"Their loss," she says, and there's a note of fierceness in it. "You are a great guy. About time A— people figure it out." Her skin flushes and she gets up awkwardly. "I should go..." She shoulders her backpack and looks back at him like there's something she wants to say. "Bye," she says finally.
Hiccup doesn't know what to think when Astrid not only talks to him, but she doesn't punch his lights out.
He's really flabbergasted when she offers him peanut butter-cinnamon cookies.
How does she know they're his favorite, because of when his mom used to make them? Is this a coincidence? Are they poisoned with ipecac, arsenic? Will she beat him up if he doesn't take one?
Is she just being genuinely nice?
"Um, thank you?" He offers, nibbling a cookie. "It's good," he says, surprised. "Thanks, Astrid."
She smiles so widely—at him— he feels like he's about to faint. "You're welcome."
"Thanks,' he repeats.
"See you later, Hiccup," she says downright cheerfully as she jaunts off.
She voluntarily wants to see him later?
He slumps against the wall, his eyes locked on the direction she disappeared in.
Someone elbows his ribs. "Are you catatonic?" Lindsay demands. "Do I need to page someone?"
"Fine," he manages. She glances down at the cookie he's still clutching.
"Who gave you that?" She asks casually.
"A-Astrid."
Lindsay tilts her head, smiling inscrutably. "Are you hallucinating again?"
"Maybe."
"Well, let me have some cookie anyway."
Love it? Hate it? Gonna gripe at me for being really slow on the update? then REVIEW! The goods news is after my three papers are turned in next week, I finally get out on Winter Break. So for those glorious three weeks, you'll be seeing me fairly often; it's quite probable I'll wrap up both this and How To Decide You're Ready To Get Married.
Thanks to the reviewers for chapter 4: Voldyne, sora nii, neko no utah, yssacu, disneyisbeautiful, mks 12 98, Ella Unlimited, and TreepeltA113. Merci, mes amis who voted: Voldyne, crazyRNThead, HunterNite, mks 12 98, Corinne JustBlossom, Ella Unlimited, Reader, color-changin-enigma, mks 12 98 (again!) ASTRIDHICCUP, Bridget, Midnight 4568, Anonymous, and Me.
SonOfLucifer: Thanks! Keep reading to find out ;)
HunterNite and disneyisbeautiful: WHOAAA you guys are fast. I LOVE you!
Thanks to my story alert people: mylife00 and TolkienNerd4832, and my fav story: Midnight4568 and mylife00.
Next chapter soon!