A/N: Sorry for the late update guys, but here you go! Still a few chapters left yet guys, but I can announce that the story will eventually have an M rating, just not as soon as you may think :)
Keep the comments and reviews coming guys, it's great hearing what you think :)
Chapter 7 – 10 Questions.
They sat side by side once again, their thighs resting against one another's.
"Okay let's get this over with" he sighed.
"Could you sound a little less enthusiastic please?" she asked sarcastically.
He shot her a playful glare, "you first… shoot"
She twiddled with her fingers that lay in her lap, now that she had the opportunity to ask him anything all the questions that constantly whirled in her mind left. "Umm… why do you like silence so much?" she asked.
He turned to her with a raised eyebrow before chuckling lightly "I don't know. When I was younger I was like you, y'know wouldn't shut up" she pushed him playfully, he smiled before settling back into the couch "and then after Sarah was attacked, I didn't know what to do or what to say - especially when the jokes didn't work. So I chose to stay quiet. Then as I got older it sorta stuck. The house was always so noisy; my room was next to Sarah's so sometimes I'd hear her cry. Then my parents started arguing after the attack - blaming themselves, each other, anyone. So whenever I went to bed and the house was silent I always told myself that even though things weren't any better that night then at least they weren't getting worse." He finished.
She stared at the man next to her, slightly amazed at how much he had just said, before resting her head on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him "Sorry it was tough on you"
She felt him gently shrug against her, "Sarah had it worse." He replied.
"That doesn't mean you're not allowed to be affected by it"
"I'm not saying it didn't affect me, I'm just saying she had it worse." He replied softly.
She gently nodded against his shoulder, not wanting to push the issue further.
"My turn right?"
"Yup" she popped the 'p'.
"Ok so - silence, why'd you hate it?"
She chuckled lightly against him before lifting her head up "Original" she commented before turning back to rest her head against his shoulder as she curled her feet to the other side of her. She felt Sam relax next to her as she realised how comfortable she felt with him. "Uhh… Silence just gives me too much time to think..."
"Ahh so that's where you got you capacity to overthink things so much" he stated smiling.
"Haha" she replied dryly, "But your right. When my mam first left our house was real quiet, and I would end up thinking about why she left. If it was my fault an-"
"It wasn't your fault" he broke her off.
"Yeah, I know that…now. But at the time I thought about it a lot. Then when my dad started drinking and staying out late the house was always quiet and my mind would just start going crazy." She began motioning with her hands, "Thinking about what time he'd be home…What caused this binge…What if something happened to him…" She sighed and began fidgeting with her fingers in her lap "So now whenever it gets quiet I guess I just start thinking again"
"Stop that" he ordered, placing his hands over her hers, stilling their movements, "you think about what?"
"Is that you're second question?" She asked with a smile.
"Nope, extension on question one"
"You can't do that"
"McNally, I can do what I want if you want me to keep playing this stupid game" he fired back. She sighed heavily, lifting her head from his shoulder and looking down at her lap where his hand rested on top of hers. He glanced over to see her gaze resting on their hands, he gently began to rub the pad of his thumb over her small knuckles "Think about what?" he pushed.
She let out a small sigh "I don't know… Just whatever's going on in my life…Work…my dad…Luke" she paused, her gaze remaining fixed on their hands "you."
"What about me?" he asked, wanting her to continue.
"Nope, that's it!" she exclaimed, removing her hands from beneath his to reach over for her bottle of water "you've already had an extension on your question. My turn now" she stated, taking a sip of her water as he brought his hand back to his own lap. "You don't talk about your family much; I mean everyone knows about my dad, but what about your family? Do you see them much?"
He cleared his throat and she noticed him stiffen slightly at the question "My dad left not long after the attack on Sarah…" he paused.
"Did he blame himself?" she asked, thinking back his answer for her first question.
"I guess. He never really talked about it, except for the screaming matches with my mom. Then one day he packed his stuff up and left, said something about not being able to help Sarah anymore and that I was now the man of the house. No idea where he went and never seen him again."
"I'm sorry." She sympathised.
"Don't be. He left and the arguments stopped, my mom found her way and we both helped Sarah. I don't think we would have been able to help her if he'd stayed."
"Still, it must have been rough without him."
"Yeah I guess, but my mom made up for it. She went from a housewife to a single mom with two jobs providing for her kids and always made it home for tea time." He explained, and she could see the small smile settled on his face.
"Sounds like an amazing woman" she offered.
"She was, she paid for extra therapy sessions for Sarah but still made sure I had the full uniform kit for kickboxing class." He chuckled lightly.
She smiled at him, although his gaze remained fixed on the tv, "you said she was?" she pushed timidly, she had never had him talk to her so much and now that she did she was terrified he would close up.
"Yeah, she…uh…passed a few years back. I'd just got back from my first undercover job and she gave me a stern talking to about how dangerous it was" he smiled "then an hour later I had a phone call from the hospital, saying that she'd been in an accident."
She rested her head on his shoulder lightly, "I'm sorry" she whispered.
He shrugged slightly beneath her, "Sarah took over the role of protective mother pretty quickly"
She laughed against his shoulder "Is she okay now? I mean… did the therapy and things help?"
"Yeah she's good. It took a while and she's still quiet around strangers and wary of doing things like shopping and that on her own, but that's why she has Adam."
"Adam?"
"Her husband. Been with him since she was 20, sickingly still in love" he pointed out.
"You're such a romantic, you know that?" she asked sarcastically.
"So I've been told" he shot back.
They sat in silence for a few seconds, Andy's gaze wandered over to window as she noticed the strength in the raindrops begin to wither away as the storm began to pass over. Sam looked down at her as she rested on his shoulder, he was never one to want to cuddle with his partners (not that many of them became serious enough to do so), but here he felt comfortable, it felt right, he thought. He shook his head slightly, attempting to rid himself of the thoughts, "My turn, right?"
She nodded against his shoulder and he took this as his cue "What about you and your family? Is there anyone else except your dad around for you?"
"Nope" she replied, popping the 'p'. She peeked up to see him looking at her with an eyebrow raised, she returned her gaze to the window before continuing, "You know about my mom."
"I know, I mean isn't there anyone else?" he explained.
"Not around here there isn't. My dad's brother and sister moved away with their families when I was young, so it's always been just me and my dad."
"You're close to him though, right?"
"Yeah. He was everything for me once my mam left. He brought me up on his own."
"He's done a good job" She smiled up at him, their gaze meeting as she gave him a gently nod in appreciation, "He'll get there you know… One day he'll wake up and realise how much he wants to be around for you and he'll stop and be the dad you always knew" Sam stated, his eyes fixed on hers.
"You think?"
He gave a soft nod of his head before a smirk grew on his lips, "You were all he ever talked about in work, used to bore all us rookies to death with all his stories of you."
She gently slapped his arm, "Hey I was a cool kid, I bet those stories were amazing!"
"Of course they were McNally…" he rolled his eyes at her.
"My turn" she stated as she settled back into the couch, turning herself to sit cross-legged to face him, or rather the side of his face.
He turned his head to face her, "Why does it feel like I'm laying all my cards on the table and you aren't?" he asked, surprised at her somewhat short answers.
"Cause you already know almost everything about me" she explained.
"Ahh right the whole 'allergic to silence' thing you got going on" he agreed.
"Anyyyyway" she drawled "Doesn't Sarah miss you, y'know living hours away and being undercover so much. She must feel lonely sometimes."
"Of course she misses me, I'm her adorable baby brother" he answered with a dimply smile as he shifted slightly on settee so that his body now faced her more.
Her face fell into an 'im-being-serious' look, "Sam?"
He rolled his eyes at her again, "I told you she has Adam."
"But she must miss you, you're her 'adorable baby brother'" she mocked.
"Yeah she does, but she knows that it's my job. Plus I still get a lecture when I get back from being under. You should be pleased McNally, you're her freakin hero after blowing my cover on the last case" he explained with a smirk.
"Well tell her that it was my pleasure" she smiled at him smugly.
He shook his head at her, "Whilst we're on the subject of our jobs, let's go with a simple question"
"Okay - shoot"
"Queston 3 – why'd you become a cop?"
"Everyone always thinks it's because of my dad."
"Well is it?" he asked.
"Sorta." She began fiddling with the bottle of water that rested in her lap "It's not that I wanted to follow on in his footsteps, it's just I saw how many people my dad helped. I wanted to do that. I wanted to help people who needed help. Bring people justice. Hope. Y'know?" she peered up from the water bottle to see him nodding understandingly "I guess it'll be nice to make a new stamp for the McNally name. I know my dad got sloppy near the end; I wanna show them that he was a good cop. A good enough cop to make me a good cop."
"You are a good cop." He stated to her to which she raised an eyebrow "A little over-eager, a little chatty, sure. But you care about the people we talk to, you care what happens to them. Even if you break few simple rules every now and again." he flashed a dimply smile.
"Thanks… I think" she muttered smiling.
"Okay so keeping with the same theme – jobs. Why'd you do so much undercover work?" she asked.
"I dunno…it's kinda nice being someone else for a while. It's not like I had anything here to hold me back, so it just seemed right for me." He paused scanning her face, "and I'm awesome at it" he smirked.
She rolled her eyes before throwing the pack of gum at his head, "your turn."
"Okay…" he pondered over his options for a second before resorting to a 'safe' question "Do you regret becoming a cop? I mean - is it different to what you thought?"
"It's harder. A lot harder. Not the workload - that I can deal with. But dealing with those people all the time – not the criminals, but the victims. I want to do everything I can to help them, that's why I became a cop, so when we have to go back to a house and tell them we have nothing, or tell a family they've lost someone…it's just hard." She finished, sighing slightly.
"No one expects you to be able to turn your feelings off." He explained softly.
"I know - but I should be able to, right?" she asked, searching his eyes for an answer.
"Some people find it easier to do that, to think about things objectively. If that works for them – then great. But if it doesn't work for you, then don't try to do it. Do what your gut tells you to do, you start overthinking all these things and then you're gonna miss the details."
"You know my tendency to overthink" she laughed lightly.
"Well whilst you overthink, I'll look for the details. Deal?"
She nodded slightly, "my turn" she pointed out with a small smile, "Doesn't it get too much? Being undercover. I mean you're not you…and you must miss people."
He shifted his weight slightly again, facing her more "You just learn to turn yourself off. For those weeks or months, I'm not Sam."
"I know, but how can you do it?"
"You just learn to adapt" he shrugged it off "You transform into someone else. When you're that person you have no one to miss." He sighed quietly, "Of course I miss Sarah, but other than I really haven't had anyone to miss…"
She smiled softly and nodded her head, motioning it was his turn.
"Okay… If you could pick any training officer as your favourite, who would it be?" he asked with a huge smirk dancing on his lips.
"That is the worst question ever!" she explained.
"No it isn't"
"Yeah, it is. We're meant to be having this touching moment here and you ask a question like that"
"We're having a touching moment?" He asked raising an eyebrow.
"You know what I mean Sam."
"Answer the question, McNally" he ordered.
She gave an over-dramatic sigh before replying, "You. Okay? You. You've taught me the most, even if you're extremely annoying, moody, sarcast-"
"Easy with the compliments there, McNally" he commented, feigning hurt.
"My turn again" she smiled smugly "If Boyd phoned you tomorrow, would you go back under?" she asked.
"I don't know" he shrugged.
"That's not an answer" she fired back.
He sighed, before shaking his head "probably not."
Andy's eyebrows rose in surprise at his answer, "Really, why?"
"You McNally" he stated, to which she rose a questioning eyebrow, God if only she knew, he sighed "Love working with you, can't imagine my life without you" he smiled sarcastically, attempting to hide the fact it was the truth.
She slapped his arm lightly "Shut up! Why wouldn't you go back?" she pushed.
He rubbed his forehead with his fingers, "I don't know McNally, things change. There's more important things in my life now." Like you, he thought. He shook off the thoughts quickly, "besides you'd end up killing yourself, the first week without me" he smirked.
She shook her head at him, "I've done perfectly fine in the three weeks we haven't been partnered."
"Been counting have you?" he fired back quickly.
"What? No. No.. I just noticed" she stammered.
"Did you miss me McNally?" he smiled with a raised eyebrow.
"Is that you're next question?" she answered, praying it wasn't.
In that moment, he could have done it. Asked her if she had missed him; if he really meant that much to her that she actually missed being partnered to him. But… "Nope, I'll save that for later" he winked. "Okay, what were we talking about?"
"Being undercover" she replied.
"Right… what about you, you ever see yourself out of the uniform?"
"Excuse me?" she questioned, a look of disbelief on her face.
He looked at her in confusion until he quickly realised what he had said "God McNally, what are we? 15? I meant do you wanna get off the street, breach out a bit?" he shook his head with a small smile.
"Oh right" she smiled embarrassed, "Uhh… No, I don't think so. I like working with the detectives, you know, following the trail to the truth. But I like it on the streets; we get to see the real thing. Not read some notes on it. We get to be the faces that help people. I like that. Even if sometimes we're the faces of bad news." She finished softly, noticing Sam nodding. "Do you get scared out there? I don't mean when you're under, I mean out there… on the street?"
"Is that you're next question?" he asked, not willing to be caught out.
She just simply nodded her head, her eyes completely focused on him.
"Being honest here, right?" he pushed again.
Once again she nodded, ensuring her gaze remained him.
"Of course I do" he smiled softly, meeting her gaze, "you?"
"Is that you're next question?" she shot back at him.
This time it was his turn to simply nod in reply, their gaze locked on one another.
"Sometimes, sometimes not." She stated, to which he raised an eyebrow "Sometimes I'm terrified, like I'm not ready. But when you're there…" she trailed off, "it's just different. Not so scary." She finished. "Can I ask you something?" she asked softly.
"It's your turn anyway" he replied.
"Who do you talk to?" she took in his confused expression, "I mean, when something happens." He expression remained the same, so she took another attempt "Look, whenever anything has happened on the job, it's you I talk to, like that night…" she trailed off "who do you turn to?"
He averted his gaze for a few seconds before looking back at her, "I guess I don't. I don't like to talk about it."
"But doesn't drive you crazy?" she asked her eyes scanning his face.
"Yeah" he shrugged, "but that what the punchbag in the gym's for" he explained, shegazed at him softly, "I'd like to be able to talk about it, but I just can't. It's not what I do." She nodded gently in understanding. "Can I ask you something?" he asked, repeating her earlier words.
"It's your turn anyway" she replied with a small smile.
"Why me? That night, why'd you come to me?" he asked, his eyes quickly examining her face for any signs that she was closing up.
"Sam" she sighed, looking down at her fingers fidgeting in her lap.
He leant over slightly and placed his hand over hers, "I told you to stop that" he whispered.
She lifted her head and their eyes instantly met, "I… It… I just I needed to talk, really that's all I wanted to do…" she blushed slightly.
"And…" he pushed, their gazes still interlocked.
"And… then you opened the door. You looked worried about me."
"I was" he admitted.
"It was… it was nice to have that. You know? Have someone care about you like that. It was just like something broke inside of me….and then…" she trailed off.
They remained silent, his hand still resting on hers, their eyes on one another.
""Why didn't you stop me that night? Stop us?" she asked quietly.
"I didn't want to." He replied honestly, he began stroking the back of her hand with his thumb, "I wouldn't have stopped us either, even when the lights came on"
She nodded gently, feeling the whirlwind of butterflies swirl in her stomach.
"Do you think about that night? Regret leaving?" he asked.
She gently nodded her head "Of course I did, but I don't regret leaving." He quickly withdrew his hand from hers, "I'm not a cheat Sam…. As much as I wanted it, it was wrong" she admitted softly.
"You wanted it though?" he asked gently.
She looked down at where her hands lay, "Yeah." She lifted her head up to meet his enquiring gaze, they were silent for a few seconds studying one another…"You know, you were the reason I didn't run after him that night… your stupid name on that stupid piece of paper. It was just your freakin name and then all I could think about was that night." She sighed, closing her eyes before peeling them back open, "Did you mean it?"
"Mean what?" he asked, his expression soft.
"It was what it was" she whispered.
"No" he replied honestly.
Her eyes darted to her fidgeting hands in her lap as he leant forward to gently play with a lock of her hair that fell out of place. Her breath hitched as she inhaled his scent, instantly finding herself transported back to the night of the blackout. She felt his fingers lose its grip on her hair as his hand travelled to rest behind her neck, his rough knuckles grazing against the soft skin that lay there. Her eyes flickered up to meet his gaze again and a timid smile found its way to her lips as she gently swiped her tongue across her them "You… you still have a question" she stuttered.
He smiled softly before leaning further into her, "Am I still on ice?"
She attempted to speak, she willed for any form of noise to release itself from her mouth but nothing happened. Her head told her to nod; he should be on ice she told herself. But her heart and gut feeling quickly took over as she gently shook her head.
He took this as permission. The hand that grazed against the back of her neck flattened softly as he applied pressure to pull her forward. His gaze remained locked on hers as he leant in, she could feel the heat of his breath hit her face as he brushed his nose against hers. His other hand now rested lightly beneath her chin and gently lifted a knuckle to tilt her head upwards slightly. He took this opportunity to gently brush his lips against hers. His lips were so delicately placed upon hers that she barely registered their arrival, her eyes shuttered closed as she took in the feeling. She gently applied pressure to his lips with her own and he quickly took over once again. She felt the hand at the back over her neck strengthen as he pulled her forward. Their emotions rapidly took control of the pair, rendering them powerless against the kiss. Her hands found their way into his hair, relishing the feel of the smooth thick locks gliding through her fingers, whilst his hands trailed to her waist, tracing small patterns at her hipbones underneath her shirt. She felt his grip tighten around her waist as he lightly pulled her into his lap, the kiss quickly intensifying. She was completely and utterly lost to the kiss, the lust.