A/N: I guess I could've mentioned in the first chapter's A/N that we'd be seeing a bit of OC. Hopefully not too much, unless you don't mind. I am quite sure that I suck at making new characters…
And here comes the part where a bit of non-Jacob/Bella romance comes into play. I hope that doesn't upset you so much. (I actually really enjoy writing parts like these.)
I feel like I should be telling you so much more than I've given already, so I'm just going to come straight out and ask if you'd like me to tell you anything else. :D
Without further adieu, I bring you chapter two (which—luckily for you—is a longer chapter):
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Chapter Two.
As the days go by much more slowly than usual, you don't call him. And he doesn't call you. And the last time you saw him was when he was in your bedroom declaring his love to you in the middle of the night. And the last time you saw him… you hadn't said anything to him at all… and you'd left the situation completely broken.
You know you're going to need to go back and fix everything.
Charlie mumbles to you one morning during breakfast, as you are lazily stirring the Raisin Bran flakes around in your cereal bowl and he's sitting across from you drinking his coffee, "Seems like you haven't been seeing Jacob much lately."
"Hmm," is all the sound you make, willing yourself not to choke although nothing is in your mouth.
There's a pause around the table as the light of the morning reaches through the kitchen window above the sink, and the light is very warm. For the first time since Jacob broke you, you realize that you are a junior in high school. And right now, you are on summer vacation. Not like you were attempting to enjoy it, anyhow… but you feel as though you are wasting it all.
But things like these are trivial to you, so they don't take up much space in those imaginary filing cabinets you have in your brain.
"That's not very respectful to his feelings, you know. I'll bet he misses you."
You don't bother looking up in response. You can feel Charlie's serious stare from the corner of your eye. You don't need to see the expression on his face. It would only hurt you more knowing how much pain would inevitably be clear on Charlie's face.
"I guess I'll start being respectful to his feelings when he does the same to me," you say, knowing you don't really mean it, of course not. "I'll bet he misses me, too, but it doesn't change anything." Not right now, you silently add. You say nothing more.
You then wordlessly excuse yourself from the table, flinching at the scraping sound of the chair's leg against linoleum, throw your bowl in the sink without pausing to rinse it and march out of the kitchen. Out of the house. Down the pathway and into your truck.
Silently, you are grateful that Charlie doesn't stop you. You didn't expect him to, not at all.
---
Driving down to La Push in silence, you think nothing of the consequence this will have on you as you return home and think about the day's events. You know it could do nothing at all to help you, but at the same time you know it was only a matter of time until you were ripping your hair out from lack of seeing him. What to do when you got there, though? Natalie—you flinch—would inevitably be with him. You know how a werewolf isn't able to stay away from their imprint for long. And that knowledge wouldn't help you at all.
As you stare out your window shield into the sunny yet cold mist of early morning, you notice a large and dark shirtless figure down the road. Large, dark, no shirt, and cut-off jeans. It's an altogether too familiar figure.
You instantly freeze. You foot eases up on the pedal and you nearly stop the car, but you can't.
As your truck inches closer to the dark figure in the misty air of morning, you notice a few things about him. First, he's walking slowly. He's walking very slowly. You might not have noticed that he was walking at all, if it weren't for your ever closer proximity to each other. The next thing you notice is that, no, this person is not Jacob.
It's Embry Call.
You squint into the now-settling fog through your front window, and almost gasp with pain at the realization that Embry's walking slowly is for no other reason than not to alarm you. He doesn't want to give you any reason to be afraid of him, so he walks slowly and he lifts his hands slightly in front of him, a placating gesture that nearly rips your heart out.
You don't know Embry very well, not as much as you know Jake. So you probably shouldn't have been so hurt at the way he was acting right now. All the same, it would have been strange not to feel anything at all at that moment. You were through with being a zombie. You were through with being dead.
So you firmly press your foot against the gas, putting on a brave face and unwillingly filling in the few yards of space between you two as you drive up to meet him.
Seeing the look of recognition plain on your face, he immediately opens the passenger door as you slowly come to a stop to the right of him, easing your truck to the side of the road. Embry closes the door hard behind him and turns to look at you.
Nothing's changed about him, not much. You could never really get past the amazing growth spurt all those Quileute boys seemed to go through between every time you saw them, so that one was a given and didn't really count. The look on his face, though… it's too familiar for comfort.
"You and I…," he starts a bit uncomfortably, his much too wise eyes studying your face closely. "We need to talk."
You hold back a cough. "No offense, Embry, but I don't think 'we' need to do anything. I didn't want to pull any of the rest of the pack into this, you know."
He grins, a bit of a smirk. "Doesn't change the fact that it did."
The both of you sit there in silence for an endless moment. You stare out the wind shield as you observe the rain clouds—of course—forming in the distance, near the horizon where the sun is slowly rising from behind. The loud engine of your truck still runs (not a surprise) because it's still cold outside whether it's summer or not and you still need the warmth of the heater.
You've always needed the warmth.
You try not to think about how the silence between you and Embry is slowly turning a tad awkward. He still studies your face, and you try not to be self-conscious. You don't have any reason for that.
"I'm sorry," you finally choke out, and tears begin to sting at your eyes. "I am so sorry I had to involve anyone else in this. But that's all I was ever really good at, wasn't I? Breaking everyone else's heart, everyone else around me and everyone I love." The words flow out of you in a rush, and now you're yelling while tears streak down your cheeks and onto your lap. Your voice breaks with each word, but you are past caring so much. "But I hadn't meant to do anything like that! I'm just a shitty excuse for a person that should care about everyone else in my life, not just one person. I'm just constantly hurting you all so much when I only meant to—" You can't finish. Your rant ends in a gurgled sob. The words you thought about speaking next suddenly sound very wrong in your head.
"…Hurt one person?" Embry finishes for you in a whisper, and you flinch as his words hit hard.
You can't deny that they're true, though. "Yes," you whisper, bending down to lean your head against the steering wheel in defeat. You're crying now, so your next words sound pitiful. "…And no. I didn't mean to. I really, truly and honestly, did not."
"I know that. I know you didn't." Embry says nothing more; you say nothing more. You know you should. You wonder how strange or awkward it might be for him to sit here and listen to you moan and groan and spill everything to him, but then you realize that's probably what he meant to come here to do. And you realize Jake wouldn't have sent him if he didn't know Embry was up for the challenge.
"I love you so much, Embry," you blurt before you can think about what you're saying. You hear his breath hitch and you know he wasn't expecting that. Neither were you. "No—not like that, not exactly. But… you… you and all the rest of the pack, I love you so much more than I ever put out there. You know that, right?" All the while, you are mumbling down to your shoes.
He answers quicker than you could have. "Well, yeah," he mutters, and the huskiness of his voice makes you smile so hard your cheeks hurt. You are almost glad he can't see your face against the steering wheel. Maybe it's better he did, though, so you look up to see his bewildered expression that is just so… sixteen-year-old-werewolf. You love that expression so much.
"A-and… well…" he continues in a shy mumble, looking uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "I guess I love you, too." Embry's cheeks burn red and he leans in to give you an awkward, one-armed hug. You sigh into the warmth of his chest, and you don't object when he leans down and gently kisses your cheek.
"This deal with you and Jake—it'll all blow over, y'know. Sooner or later."
Silence again engulfs the both of you, and now it's so comfortable that you'd probably cry when it was over. You'd count on crying, in fact.
You laugh very suddenly, shocking the both of you, and he more or less jerks out of your arms in embarrassment. But you don't care, so you grab his hand and you let him know.
He grins just slightly and looks away, out the windows that have now gathered a fog from the warmth of the inside. He notes quietly after a few seconds, "Looks like a storm's coming."
"Yeah," you say, reluctantly, grinning like a fool but still not being able to help the tears that fall down your cheeks like you're an endless water supply.
"I hope you know what I mean by that, Bella Swan."
And you do. But you say nothing more. You just sit there, staring at his face while he looks away, remembering it and placing it in one of those imaginary filing cabinets in your head, under the one titled 'People I Love'. You place his picture under 'Wolfpack' and then narrow it down to 'Embry Call', and he eventually leaves you and races into the forest, his form quivering before he hits the tree line, so you're glad you had enough time to remember his face, because you never forget a face.
Then you realize that you placed his picture right next to Jacob's.
And then you turn your truck around and drive home in the rain because you love Jacob and Jacob's imprinted and it wasn't you.
---
The next morning, you receive a phone call. And you don't know why whoever is on the other side doesn't just hang up already; after all, it rings about thirteen times before you finally give up and answer to stop the annoying. You mentally grumble to yourself to create a voicemail recording sometime soon.
"Hello." You don't ask it like you probably should have.
"Bella?" The rough, husky voice makes your heart stop. You can't say anything. Seconds pass.
"…Bella? You there?"
"Yes!" Ugh. You've basically just screamed into the telephone receiver. "Yes yes yes, Jake. I'm here. I'm here." Your voice cracks desperately. Your heart threatens to literally stop in your chest. It's the first time you've talked to him in more than two months.
"Bella… I'm so, so sorry," he whispers.
"What do you mean?" But then you realize something's wrong (of course). But it's just his voice. It's… familiar and different at the same time. And suddenly you have unsure thoughts. "How could anything be wrong? I am just so glad to hear your voice," you cry. "…Jake?"
"Bella, stop! Just… stop, alright?!" You are taken aback by his tone. You're hurt. And the tears flow out of your eyes now for a different reason altogether. "I'm not Jake, alright? This is… it's just—" His breath stops suddenly, like he can't go on. (So then, who is 'he', exactly?)
"This is Embry," he finally coughs.
Your body is numb. You don't know if it suddenly turned that way or always had been. But right now, you really notice it. "Oh," you say, your voice a monotone. You have no emotion. Your tears stop. And for some strange reason, your heart picks up a regular pace again. (Or, as regular as it'd ever be.)
"I really am sorry, Bella," he whispers. His voice is saturated with so much emotion, it's hard to comprehend. Is this really Embry? "I didn't mean to disappoint you."
"I know you didn't. I just—just got my hopes up. I should be saying sorry."
"Jake warned me you'd be trying to find any reason at all to blame yourself." He sighs loudly, and kind of chuckles and you know it's meant to comfort you or maybe get you laughing or at least react somehow, but you don't laugh. You don't say anything at all.
"Bella." Embry catches your attention.
"I'm sorry, Embry. I don't feel like talking right about now."
"Yeah, yeah, I knew you'd probably say that!" He says quickly, before you have time to hang up. "Just hear me out, though, alright? I didn't call just to hear your voice, y'know."
"I knew you probably wouldn't, Embry."
"Wait—no, I hadn't meant it like that! I really do enjoy hearing your voice."
And now you can't help but chuckle. He just reminds you so much of…
"But would you like me to get to the point now?"
"Um. No. Wait—! Yes…? Wait, no—is it good news or bad news?" You bite your lip. "Because… well, I'm pretty sure you'd know what my response would be to both."
Embry hesitates on the other line. "I'm not sure which it is, actually," he says at last, and his voice is thoughtful. "I guess it depends on if you mind seeing Jake—"
"Excuse me?!" You interrupt, but you don't care. "I don't know if that's a trick question or something, but hell yes, I'd like to see Jake!" Quite inconveniently, you hiccup once.
"—with Nat," he finishes softly.
You don't know why, but your body freezes and your mind freezes and you don't need to ask, but you do. Even though you already know. "And who is Nat, might I ask?" The words are whispered like poison. You're afraid he doesn't hear you when he hesitates for a long while.
"Jacob's imprint," he replies at last. "Natalie." You can hear the sucking in of his breath as he braces himself for your answer. But you don't have one. Maybe your silence was an answer in itself.
So they had pet names for her now down at the reservation? But you don't speak this thought aloud.
"It will be kind of like a date… but not really," he continues softly, and you're almost oblivious. You don't speak. You can't speak. Maybe he already knows that, so he continues on in a barely-audible whisper.
"…a double date, Bells…" Huh? (You're not sure what he just called you. Last time anyone called you that was sixty-one days ago. And, yes, you're still counting.)
"…with me," he finishes in a huff. Or maybe that was just the sound of your breath being knocked out of you. One of the two.
---
The next Saturday evening, you begin to wonder how in the hell Embry managed to convince you to drive you here. You wonder how in the hell any of this made any sense to you back at Charlie's house. But it did make sense—didn't it?
And now you're at Jacob's house, and now Embry's arm is slinking around your waist as you jump (or stumble, really) out of the car, and now he's whispering instructions (or rules and/or restrictions, as you think of them) into the hair by your ear as you walk. (Rules on how you shouldn't stare at Jake for an extended period of time, and how you shouldn't talk too much to him, either, and you can't even touch him.)
But somehow, you know you don't need instructions. They would've come along as the evening progressed. And it hurts more when you're forewarned, when you know that you'll want to look at him, and you'll want to talk to him. (You'll want to touch him.)
But it's all a façade, you remind yourself quickly. At least for you, it is. But you don't tell Embry this, even if he already knows. Embry seems to like you… a lot. Maybe too much for his own good. And this'll all blow over soon, you remind yourself. It has to.
You mean to knock three times on the door, but your fist hardly comes down a second time before it is being flung open. Jacob stands in the doorway (time slows down), and he stares at your face and doesn't seem to see anything else, and he's standing right there, not more than two feet away. You almost flinch. You almost cry. You almost do something. But you don't.
His face is emotionless, and it kills you inside.
You don't speak, you don't move, you don't breathe. Maybe your face is one of utter horror, maybe disgust. But there's a part of you that hopes you show surprise, or (not so) quite possibly joy. But you don't feel surprise or joy. You don't feel anything.
Embry coughs a bit uncomfortably (brings you and Jacob both back to reality), knowing right here and right now is not his place or his time. He excuses himself and you're only vaguely aware of his arm leaving your side, vaguely aware of his hand giving your hand a gentle squeeze before he lets go. "Better go help Nat set up," he murmurs softly, and the door closes behind him.
You and Jacob are alone standing on the porch—or lack thereof—of his house.
"Close your mouth, Bella, honey. You'll catch flies," he finally whispers, and the corners of his mouth pull up into a small, sad smile.
You obey him—you almost always do—and slowly close your mouth, and then for that one moment, you don't give a damn about Embry's so-called rules. And then you walk forward to touch Jake, carefully wrapping your arms around his torso, and his arms slide tightly around you in response.
The static that jolts through your body at contact with his burning skin literally knocks you breathless. You hadn't touched him, felt him, hugged him in such a long time. It felt like you'd suddenly jumped into the burning waters of a hot tub after running naked through the blistering cold of a blizzard for too long to count.
It was as though your body wasn't physically prepared for such a long separation with him; you'd believe that theory right away if someone told you so.
You attempt to catch your breath, but it's difficult. You give up and end up sobbing into his shirt (long-sleeved, which surprises you since he usually runs around half-naked), and your cries come out in short gasps that do nothing to help you regain your breath. You weren't prepared for the reaction your body gave to his. It makes you suddenly realize that you'd forgotten how great this really was, this right here—Jake and Bells. Just Jake and Bells.
"Oh my God, Jake," you choke, breaking down in the sleeves of his shirt and spoiling the material.
"I know, Bella," he whispers softly into the hair on the top of your head, and his arms constrict around you ever tighter. "I know. I'm sorry, baby."
"You should be, damn it," you can't help but say, because you'd always wanted to push the blame off yourself and onto someone else. But for once, you almost can't find anything to blame yourself for… nothing except liking Jacob so much. Oh, hell, why did you have to like Jacob so much?
"Nat's coming," Jacob hisses suddenly—yes, he actually hisses, and it surprises you, considering Nat's his imprint and all.
Your heart drops down to your feet when he lets go of you, assuming a casual stance in front of you, his expression turning into that of someone who might be having a regular conversation with a regular person (who definitely wasn't you). Then you catch the gist of what he's trying to put off by the slightly warning look in his eye. And then you try and look just like how he is, like maybe you'd just been talking and not crying and speaking of crying, you quickly wipe the tears from your eyes.
Natalie opens the door then, her cheerful and excited face clenching your stomach so badly you think you might throw up, right then and there. You constrict your throat to prevent doing so, but it makes you unable to breathe and Jacob is staring at you strangely.
"So!" Natalie yells as soon as the door opens, a smile lighting up her face. "The food's almost ready. Embry's trying to help me make dessert," she laughs.
You attempt to grin as well, but it probably looks more like a frown.
"Great, that's great," Jake replies, his voice sounding genuinely happy. "I just—hey, do you mind if I chat with Bella out here for just a bit? I haven't seen her in ages." At this he just casually grins. "We won't be too long." Your heart stops in your chest and your eyes widen. Jacob's face is turned away so he can't see your reaction. Natalie's too absorbed in Jake to notice you. Silently, you are grateful for this.
You swear Natalie's face would probably break in half if she grinned any wider. "Oh, yeah, sure!" she replies loudly, and the sound of it makes you cringe. No one should ever look or sound as happy as she does. "Embry could slow me down quite a bit, anyway…" She winks, and Jake nods.
"Thanks, Nat," he says just a bit quieter, and leans in to kiss her on the cheek. Her cheeks turn a light shade of pink and she looks like she's trying hard not to just break down laughing.
You clench your fists so hard the muscles in your hands hurt, along with your stomach.
"No problem," she replies quietly, and heads back into the house, closing the door behind her. Suddenly, your lungs don't feel as constricted and you can breathe easier.
You hardly have time to blink before Jacob's arms are around you again, lifting you up off the ground, and he whispers huskily (and maybe somewhat hastily) in your ear, "We're having this discussion in the trees. It's been so long since we've been alone." The tone of his voice makes you feel a bit dirty, and you mentally shake yourself. Ugh, you can't spare the time for those thoughts right now.
And without a moment to spare, you're being whisked away in Jacob's arms in the direction of the woods that are so close by. A small squeak exits your mouth at the sudden movement, because Jake moves so damn fast, but you'd rather not say anything at all to ruin the moment. There's nothing more you want right now than to be with Jacob, alone, so that you can talk this all out and begin the path to recovery. You're not sure whether you're happy or sad that Jake seems to so desperate to make everything better again (because it was coming to the point where it seemed nothing could help).
So you "live the moment"—as your mother Renee would say—and honestly try to relax in Jacob's arms, enjoying the sensation of flying sideways. You shiver convulsively in Jake's arms, though it has nothing to do with the cold, and you feel the darkness enshroud you both in a matter of seconds.
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A/N: Third chapter shall be up soon. I'll get you a bit more (or a lot more) J/B romance soon, as well.