Trial and Error – Chapter Three
Note to self: I do not own Naruto, so stop pretending.
xXx
I hate how I always to do. But doesn't part of being in a relationship actually mean, I don't know, wanting to be with that person? But more and more… it's just felt like he doesn't want me. But that's crazy, right? I mean, he'd say if he was over me. Oh my god, I'm turning into that desperate psycho girlfriend that questions every single thing that goes on.
But just once… it'd be nice if he was the one who asked to see me – the one who wanted a date, the one who leaned for the kiss, the one that called, the one that said good morning. I keep telling myself that I'll stop being the initiator. But if I don't do it I'm afraid he won't either.
From: Sasuke-kun
Yeah. Playing Xbox with the guys. Can't really come over now.
Because maybe if he did show signs of still loving me, I would feel like I'm more than just a fuck-buddy.
xXx
As predicted, the rumors start. Behind their cupped hand, the girls are speculating why Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura suddenly broke up. The murmuring is ceaseless. Not enough to lose my temper over, but really, some of them need to shut the hell up. Everyone knows that I got dumped, but they don't seem to accept this – especially the girls that practically drool at anyone who could have a dick under their jeans.
Seriously, it's "Oh, Haruno was too fucking ugly anyway. Have you seen that forehead?" and "I mean, just look at her hair. Sasuke-kun definitely realized he deserves better," and even "I heard they were going to have sex with the lights on, but he saw her naked and realized how fat she is." But the worst comes from Karin. Never get a fucking break from her. She's running her mouth about how she and I have actually had a "thing" for the past few months. No. Fucking. Way.
I can't help but stare at Sakura more and more. She's wearing a brave face, but it doesn't seem legit. She's strong, but their stupid fucking words are getting to her. I hate seeing her like this and not know how to fix it.
xXx
By Friday, no one's bothering to hide the gossip. It's been fucking weeks, but small towns like Konoha keep these sorts of things in circulation for a long while.
They're not whispering anymore. They're fucking shouting it for everyone to hear. And Sakura hears it loud and clear. Ino does a good job at bitching the girls out, but Sakura… she just turns her head and takes it. She's too afraid to even open her mouth in her own defense.
xXx
"I know! She's such a bitch; it's no wonder Sasuke-kun dumped her sorry ass." Karin's voice somehow manages to carry over the sound of a hundred kids in the cafeteria. Figures. "Sasuke-kun and I went out together the other day, and he was telling me how much he regretted wasting so much time with her. I mean," her voice drops to a stage whisper, "she couldn't even get him off apparently. Talk about pathetic."
Sakura is sitting a few tables away with Hinata and Ino. While her head's in her chemistry textbook, it's obvious that Karin's words are having some kind of effect on her. Her shoulders and hunched, just like she's curling away from some physical attack.
Naruto's had enough. "Teme, she's fucking trash-talking Sakura-chan and you're not doing anything about it." He's shaking in anger, and for once, I don't blame him. I'm ready to rip the bitch's head off as well.
"Apparently, she also has a side job for a blowjob service. I mean, I guess it's not totally unexpected, but come on! A guy has to be pretty desperate to resort to that thing– "
"Shut the hell up, Karin." The room goes silent and really, at this point, I don't care. Honestly, the whole school could be watching and I wouldn't give a shit. This time, she's gone too far.
"S-Sasuke?" It's evident that she's trying to think of something witty to say, in hopes of making a recovery. But I won't let her.
"Would you just stop it? What goes on in my life is none of your business, so stop pretending like it will be." She mouth hangs open, dumbfounded. Which, to be honest, is a common expression for her. "Leave Sakura alone."
Dramatic exits in the movies always seem so cliché and overdone. Like when the main character slaps a guy then storms out the door, taking a stand for "girl power," it's eye-roll worthy. But right now, I don't give a damn. Sitting in this fucked up cafeteria any longer will just make me completely blow up.
I don't have the guts to look at Sakura's face, anyway.
xXx
"Uchiha!" I'd know that voice anywhere. It's the end of the day and Sakura's jogging slightly to catch up to me before I get into my car.
"Hn?" Admittedly, I'm surprised. This is the first time we've had contact since that text message. Maybe this is a sign of improvement.
"What the hell was that at lunch?" She's… angry. The fuck? "I don't want or need you to defend my honor or whatever." I can't help but stare at her lips as she's making this angry speech. Something about them has always intrigued me – not that I said anything to her about this before. I only catch the tail end of what she's saying. "So I suggest, like you so kindly told Karin, that you leave me alone. Because, honestly, you're just making this worse…"
At this, her eyes become watery. She tries to pass it off as blinking, but a stray tear slides down her cheek. If I had the balls, I would have already had her in my arms. But her words make me freeze. "You're just making this worse…"
"Sakura…" I don't know what to say. There aren't any right words. There's a weird silence for barely half a second, but it's obvious enough that something should have happened and it didn't. She takes a step back. Away from me.
"Please. Just… leave me alone." With that, she runs. My body stays frozen in place. I can only stare at her retreating back. Watching her run away is one of the most painful things ever, but still, I can't bring myself to following her. Because – I guess Naruto's right – I'm just a bastard.
But there's something that Sakura's forgetting. I can't leave her alone. Uchihas are notoriously stubborn. And damn it, I'm tired of being alone. And even though I'm pissed for finding a way to screw things up even when I was actually trying to help, part of me is relieved.
Step two – protect her: check, but it was sort of a fail.
Even if it kills me inside, her tears still showed one thing – she's still not over me. And there's no fucking way that I'm going to let her slip out of my fingers again.
xXx
Okay, I'm sorry that this chapter's short. And I really struggled to write it. Halfway through this chapter is where I stopped writing all those months ago, and I just couldn't get into Sasuke's narration again. Unfortunately, the same is true for the next chapters coming. The writing style just seems different, you know? And I'm not sure how to fix it. (If you actually read this whole note, please leave the word "shatter" anywhere in your review. I'd just like to know if anyone cares what I say)
Reviews would make me stop watching chick flicks and actually write! (:
Ohohoh! And I'll send you my love if you also check out Love Story.