Disclaimer: They aren't mine... yet. *insert evil laugh here*

Chapter Two

Dean Was smiling as he pulled out onto the main road, but he was sort of freaking out on the inside. 'Oh my God, I can't believe I just did that,' he thought, 'I kissed Sam. I freaking kissed Sam!' His lips were still tingling from the contact with Sam's perfect mouth, and he had to fight the urge to reach up and touch them. He idly wondered if his baby brother's lips were still tingling, as well.

His smile morphed into a full on grin as he turned on the radio and the car was filled with the sound of pure awesomeness, otherwise known as Metallica. He couldn't help celebrating a little, he had crossed a major line- and it had felt amazing. Now that he thought about it, it was a line he'd been longing to cross for quite some time. Not only had he finally crossed it, but Sam had crossed it with him- and if Dean wasn't mistaken, which he never was about these things, his brother had enjoyed it just as much as he had.

Dean's celebration was short lived. The grin fell from his face as he cast a glance at the younger boy and found him slouching in his seat, his head against the window, and a pained expression on his face.

Within a matter of seconds, Dean went from being on top of the world- to feeling like the scum of the Earth. "You okay?"

Sam ignored the question, opting instead to turn his eyes to the green and brown blur of the trees flying by his window. He wanted so badly for the Earth to swallow him whole. He couldn't make the thoughts stop. 'It meant nothing. He doesn't want you. He was just trying to help you out.' Even worse than the thoughts were the feelings. The tingling sensation on his lips, the warmth on his fingertips and hips, and the fire in his chest made it seem like he would never be able to forget; like he'd always be able to feel the ghosts of Dean's touch.

Normally, Sam knew, these feelings would have been a good thing. But he didn't want to feel them. In fact, he would give just about anything to become completely numb from the inside out. They hurt him so much because they felt so good, and because he knew deep down that he would never get to experience them again.

Dean was his brother, and his best friend. Of course, he'd had more than platonic feelings for Dean for a long, long time- but he knew that Dean didn't feel that way for him. How could he? Dean was a ladies' man. A skirt-chasing, womanizing, macho man. There was just no way in Hell that his big brother could ever be into a guy. That just wasn't who he was, and Sam had come to accept that... until that kiss had shattered his entire world.

For those few brief moments, Sam had allowed himself to believe that Dean could want him that way, and that he did. He had been foolish to do so. That kiss had come and gone so quickly, and it had left him with nothing but broken hopes and the taste of Dean on his tongue.

Sam wanted to die. He might as well have died, because after that kiss... nothing would ever be as good. No one else would ever be able to make the fireworks go off in his head the way that Dean had.

Sam fought the tears the whole way home. But once the Impala came to a stop outside their little rental house of the month and he forced his body to carry him from the car to the front door, they slid down his cheeks two at a time. Without a second look at his brother, Sam went inside and slammed the door behind him.

A/N: So much angst... Don't worry though, I'll make up for it in the next chapter or two... If I get some reviews. :P

-Kari