Dear Readers of the Hogwarts Herald:
Unfortunately, our beloved advice columnist, Abigail, has had to retire. We will sorely miss Abigail (but don't you worry, she's alright!), but the need has arisen for us at the Herald to hire a new advice columnist. Now, the name of the advice column is Asking Alexandria, and of course, our new writer is Alexandria. We wish her the best of luck!
Prof. Filius Flitwick
Dear Abigail,
I'm having friend problems. There's this girl I met a while ago. I thought we were best friends. She told me that all the time! I felt that way for her too and cared a great deal. But I recently just realized that, all of that was just a lie. I am not her best friend anymore and she hurt me so much when I found out. I've never felt so hurt before, I wish she would realize that. It made me cry like all day. I don't feel like I need to be her friend anymore. Should I let her go? Should I tell her how I feel? What can I do to make me her best friend again? Please help me
Friendless Friar
Alexandria says,
Dear Friar,
Well, just to let you know, I'm not Abigail, like Professor Flitwick said. I'm the new advice columnist, Alexandria.
Okay, we've said our hellos, now onto the advice. Obviously, this girl doesn't want to be your friend, so you should move on. I mean she's made it obvious that you're not best friends anymore. If you can't realize that she doesn't like you then you're thicker than the Hogwarts pudding. Maybe you should talk to someone who has more in common with you than just your gender and magical abilities. Try joining the Wizard Chess club (information about the games provided by our wonderful events reporter, Salazar, in his article, Get in the Pitch - advertisement provided by the Hogwarts Herald's Whizbee), or the Gobstone club (information provided by Skeeter in her article, Students' Sludge - following advertisement by Whizbee).
Or better yet, if you don't want to face having to put up with a backstabber, try getting yourself a cat. They're lovely. Now stop moping around, which I know you're doing, get your head out of the clouds, and man up, mate.
Sincerely, Alexandria
"There," Ginny said, letting the quill fall from her hand.
Malfoy looked over, in the middle of writing the Wizard Chess club article that Ginny had mentioned in her reply to Friendless Friar. "There is no way you're done yet!"
"Am so!" She thrust the parchment and Friendless Friar's letter at Malfoy, who read it quickly and busted up laughing. "Why are you laughing, you twit?" she snapped. "This is legitimate advice!"
"Do you really think calling Friendless Friar 'thick' is going to help her? Or telling her to get a cat and stop moping around? And why do you have advertisements in your advice?"
"How else is Ernie supposed to do his job?" Ginny snapped. "Besides, I'm giving you publicity, so shut your trap."
Malfoy snickered. "Fine, if you're so sure you did an excellent job at writing this, go give it to Professor Snape. He's in charge of proofreading. And if he actually likes what you wrote..." he scoffed. "...then it'll get published, and everyone will laugh, and Friendless Friar will cry some more..."
"You're a twat!" Ginny said, then stood up, knocking her chair to the floor as she went. She marched up to Professor Snape, who was helping Rose Zeller write her article about the upcoming Gobstone club meeting. "In a minute, Weasley," he said, sounding bored. It looked as though he hated his life, being stuck in the office of a newsletter for mindless teenagers. When he finally finished, he looked at her with his beetle black eyes. "Yes?"
"I finished my article, sir."
He stared at her with an odd look in his eye. "How could you possibly be finished when our little...meeting started just a few minutes ago?"
"I'm a fast writer, sir," she said, holding out the two pieces of parchment. "I hope that everything's in order..."
He read it, his frown getting deeper and deeper as he read, then handed the parchment back to Ginny. "Do you honestly believe that this will get published in the Hogwarts Herald, Weasley?"
"Well, I worked hard on it, sir..."
"Obviously you did not work hard enough. Either find a new letter or give Friendless Friar advice she can actually use. By the end of our session today I want something I can give to Professor McGonagall to print."
Ginny was ready to rip up both pieces of parchment in front of Snape, but instead walked back to her little desk next to Malfoy, who was watching her with a grin on his face. "Does the advice columnist need advice of her own?" he teased.
"Shove off, Malfoy," Ginny snapped.
"You know, I could help you with it," he said as a genuine offer.
"Nice try, Malfoy," she said, "but I'll do this alone."
She picked up a letter that she hadn't even read (she had honestly only read Friendless Friar's letter, desperate to leave early) and looked at it. It was addressed 'to Abigail', but the ink was smeared all over the envelope. She ripped it open, a bit curious as to its contents.
Dear Abigail,
The ink inside the letter was just as smeared as the ink on the envelope.
I'm gay.
"Oh, my Merlin!" Ginny gasped. Malfoy looked up, annoyed.
"What, Weaselette?" he asked.
"Do these people...are they insane?" she said, staring at the letter. "Do they really want this stuff printed where everyone can read it? Even if I was using a pseudonym, I wouldn't want people knowing this stuff about me..."
"What are you talking about Weaselette?" Malfoy said, annoyed.
"Don't call me that!" she snapped. "And I'm talking about the letters I'm getting for my column. This kid...they just wrote me and the opening line is, 'Dear Abigail, I'm gay'. I mean, would you want that printed in a newsletter, even with the security of a fake name?"
"You're taking this way too seriously, Weasele—Weasley," Malfoy said. "Besides, I think that if they're writing to an advice columnist, they genuinely need the advice, wouldn't you?" Malfoy was...sympathetic?
She shoved the thought out of her mind, then continued to read the letter.
Dear Abigail,
I'm gay. I'm deeply in love with a bloke, and even though they're the same way that I am, if you get my drift, I'm too afraid to come out to them. I'm afraid that if they know how I feel about them, they won't want to be my friend anymore, because we're very good friends. I wouldn't want to risk this friendship. What should I do?
Bent Beater
"Oh...my...Merlin," Ginny said quietly.
"Do you need my help now?" Malfoy said.
"Shove off!" she said again, picking up her quill, dipping it in ink, then starting to write.
Alexandria says,
Dear Beater,
Just to let you know, though I'm sure you've realized it from Professor Flitwick's introduction, that unfortunately, Abigail has had to retire from the advice column business, which is a real pity. Now, all of your letters are going to Alexandria.
Anyway, I'm sorry about your predicament. It sounds like you're in a bit of a jam there. Unfortunately, I'm pretty straight, so I don't know how this feels. I would suggest maybe just telling your friend about your attraction to blokes before you come out and say that you fancy him. If he can accept your orientation, then maybe he'll be able to accept the fact that you do fancy someone—that someone being him, of course.
I wish you the best of luck.
Sincerely, Alexandria
Writing the reply to Bent Beater took the rest of the session, and by the time she was done, only Luna, Neville, Malfoy, and herself were still in the room with the professors. She looked at her watch.
"Oh, blimey!" she said, as Malfoy returned from his secondary job of sorting mail. "I'm late!" She jumped up, gathering her stuff together.
"Slow down, Weasley," he said, as she hadn't put her ink jar away properly, "you're about to have a bit of a spill, if you know what I mean..."
"Sod off!" She corked it impatiently then shoved it in her bag. "I have a date that I'm very, very late for!"
"Oh, meeting Potter, are we?" Malfoy teased, he too walking towards the exit.
"Shut up!" she snapped. "I can't believe that thanks to you and McGonagall, I had to spend an hour of my day breathing your air! You disgust me, Draco Malfoy! You are an insufferable, hotheaded, egotistical..."
"Ginny? Malfoy?"
Ginny's head whipped up at the familiarity of the voice. Before her was Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who appeared to be going in the direction of the Great Hall. "We were wondering where you had gotten off to," Ron said, "we thought you might be having dinner... What are you doing with Malfoy?"
"I, uh...tutoring."
"How are you tutoring Malfoy?" Harry asked. "He's a year above you."
"Uh..." She was going to be caught for sure.
"Didn't you tell them, Weasley?" Malfoy said.
"No," she said. Duh, Malfoy, she thought, I don't want it getting out that I'm writing for the bloody newsletter, you toss pot.
"Well, I'm going to guess that Weaselette told you lot that she had to tutor someone, didn't she? Well, she's lying. She was the one who needed tutoring, not the other way around. McGonagall asked me because I did so well in her class last year."
Ginny was about to punch him, then realization hit her. Malfoy is...helping me?
"Er, yeah," she said, trying her best to sound embarrassed. "I just failed a test in McGonagall's class, because I was so swamped with Quidditch and everything that I forgot to study, so she set up Malfoy to help me."
"Not my first choice," Ron said. Hermione jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.
"Yeah, well, I don't like it either, Weasel," Malfoy said, glaring at Ron, "but even I know better than trying to say 'no' to McGonagall. Now run along, you three. I have to discuss our tutoring session with Weaselette." Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked off without another word.
When they were out of earshot, Malfoy said, "You owe me, Weaselette. Big time."
"Not a chance!" Ginny snapped.
"I covered for you, didn't I? You think I like telling your friends that I have to spend time with you because of batty old McGonagall? You think that was something that I like doing?"
"One, she is not batty! Two, you don't seem to have any ill feelings about lying!"
"You. Owe. Me."
And with that, he walked away.
Realization suddenly hit that she didn't turn in her article to Snape before she left. "Bugger!" she hissed, turning around. But the door to the Room of Requirement was gone. McGonagall was going to kill her and stick her head on display in the trophy case if her article didn't get printed.
She started to shuffle past, thinking I need the Hogwarts Herald room now, I need it, I need it, I need...
The door materialized. She threw it open, ran in, and almost collided with Luna. "Luna!" she gasped. "Sorry, I need to..."
"Turn in your article?" Luna guessed in her dreamy voice. "I saw it sitting on your desk and gave it to Professor Snape for you. He agreed to print it but wanted me to remind you to be a bit more careful."
"Oh," Ginny said, her face turning a similar color as her hair. "Thanks, Luna."
She smiled in reply then said, "I'm going to dinner now. I hope there's pudding." She skipped off as Neville came over, bandages on his fingers. Somehow, someone had lost a small Venus flytrap that was not shy about biting anything that got too close to it. It had almost bitten the lens off of Colin's camera when he took the picture for Neville. "Hi, Ginny!" he greeted. "Going to dinner?"
She nodded. "I'll walk with you," she offered.
They walked in silence for a bit, then Neville said, "Hey...Ginny..."
"What's up?"
"Er, well...this is an awkward question, really...but how opposed would you be with giving advice to a fellow Herald writer?"
"Does Scamander need to have a word with Alexandria?" she asked as two people walked by. She was not about to give up her confidentiality for writing in the Herald just for this. He nodded. "Well, you don't have to write me to ask for advice. What do you need?"
"I want to ask..." He stopped. "It's silly..."
"Neville, tell me."
He sighed. "I want to ask Luna to go to Hogsmeade with me, but I don't know how."
"Oh, well, that's easy," Ginny said. "Just say, 'Hey, Luna. You. Me. Saturday. Hogsmeade. Meet you in the Three Broomsticks' or something like that. Really, just be front with her, she's really easy to talk to."
"Thanks, Ginny," he said, the color returning to his cheeks as they entered the Great Hall.
Ginny took a seat next to Azalee. She had had a long, stressful day... And she was looking forward to her date with Harry following dinner. She was not going to let the whole 'tutoring Malfoy' thing mess anything up. And she was definitely not letting her spot writing for the Hogwarts Herald get out, either.
This one is shorter than yesterday, but you'll see why that's essential in the next chapter. Please review. It would also majorly help me if you would leave, in a review, a letter to Asking Alexandria because I have a hard time coming up with letters. Thank you. :D
- Hatter of Madness