A/N: Hey guys soooo the story is taking a big turn and im sorry the chapies have been short and crappy. like i said, lots going on but i want to make you happy. so the story will also get confusing if it hasnt already and there will be some major i cant believe that just happened moments. the story will be over in about 9 chapters. we shall see. read and review please. its my birthday thrusday so it will make me =].

"Well this side of mortality is
scaring me to death
to death"

-the temper trap, soldier on

W. Somerset Maugham once said that death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. Looking back now, I somehow realize its the same advice I would give to those who aren't tuned into this kind of life, but me, I would never stay away from it even after all this shit. I had almost given up hope on the search for Billie Dean, seeing as Constance couldn't know what we were up to, and luckily was able to track her down a few days later. I couldn't keep it from mom though and I had told her exactly what was going on, leaving my relationship with Tate out of it. It turns out that she had run-ins with Billie in the past, her reputation procceding her and agreed to let me meet her if she was present. I didn't argue or protest because I had wanted mom there. I had felt like I had become detached from her since we moved here and I was afraid our relationship was crumbling like Violet's had with her parents. I wasn't going to die in order for it to get fixed.

And there was the other problem that began to consume my thoughts: How would Tate and I stay together? He was dead and I wasn't. I would age everyday and he would stay exactly the same, watching me deteriorate if I even remained around for that long. I had always had plans for my life. Even though I hated school, I was smart and wanted to go to college, although I had always intended for Violet to go with me so we could be miserable together. That hurt most of all. All the things we had wanted to do were never going to happen. I had been skipping school the past week, unbeknowest to mom, mostly because I couldn't find myself focusing on anything else other than staying here with Violet. I felt like such a bitch for ignoring Chloe and the others, but there was nothing I could do for them at the moment. At least, not until this was all said and done and I had made that clear multiple times already.

"When are you going to talk to Tate?" I asked Violet as we played chess in my room the day Billie was set to arrive.

I had always been terrible at chess and wasn't surprised when Violet took my rook.

"Are we really going to bring this up now?" she sighed.

"Better now than later." I replied as she made her next move spectacularly.

"I win," she said somewhat triumphantly, but in a way that implied she knew she was going to the whole time.

"So?" I pressed on and she raised her eyebrows in defeat.

"How about later tonight. Will that satisfy you?"

I frowned,"I guess so. This is going to be very awkward isn't it?"

A smile tugged at her lips,"I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't."

I stared at her intently, wondering what was exactly going on in her head at that moment. A burning question tugging at me.

"Maybe after all this you and Tate can…I don't know…start over?" I blurted out stupidly, causing her to stare at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was.

"What are you talking about?"

I shook my head,"Forget it. I'm just being silly."

She wasn't buying it though, her brown eyes concerned.

"Why would you want that? Don't you want to be with him?"

I can't help but look at the floor, my chess pieces scattered in front of me.

"I'm not dead Vi and it was wrong of me to think that anything like this would work. I know you still love him and eternity dead gets pretty lonely."

"Where is this coming from all of a sudden? Just a few days ago you were all for it. Besides, if you get us out of here we can go wherever we want."

I stare up at her not being able to respond right away. Yes, I had been all for it, but the more I dreamed at night, the more I saw things that terrified me. I had woken up screaming the one night Tate hadn't been there with me. I had seen so much blood, Violet dead in his arms, my body lying in front of him while he screamed for me. Then the images would change. I would see Tate standing there in front of me and hear the Devil whispering in my ear.

"You'll never replace her. He'll always love her over you. I can make you happier." He jeered.

I tried to reach out for Tate but he would vanish.

"You're going to die."

And I heard Tate's voice fill my ears, an overwhelming pain in the middle of my stomach. I looked down to see the hilt of a knife protruding from it, the blood spreading slowly and evenly. I felt my hands shake as I reached down to try to pry it out, the blood making my hands slip as Tate materialized in front of me, his face flashing from the form of a skeleton to his angelic features. I felt the blood flow into my mouth, the taste of iron visible as I stared at him helplessly.

"I'm not gonna hurt you. You have to trust me."

I didn't remember anything after that and I never went back to sleep that night. I hadn't told Violet that this was the real reason my view had slightly changed. I wasn't good enough for him. I couldn't stay in this house much longer. I was going insane. I was quickly snapped out of my thoughts when there was a knock at the door.

"Azura, Violet. Billie is here," my mom said through the door.

"Alright, we'll be right there!" I called back to her, tearing my eyes away from the door and back to Violet.

"You go on ahead. I have to talk to Tate. Tell them I'm puking or something."

She eyed me strangely before shrugging and exiting the room. I stood there in the middle of the floor, the chess board and its pieces abandoned.

"I never trusted her," Tate says and I turn around to see him sitting on my bed, a deck of cards in his hands,"That Billie woman. Wanna play?"

I walk over to the side of the bed and fold my arms.

"I can't right now. I have to get downstairs."

He looks up at with a playful smile that makes me melt and I try to shake it off, but its become so hard to ignore.

"Violet wants to talk to you later. She finally believes me about you."

I watched as he shuffled the cards, his face becoming blank.

"So what does that mean?" he asks with a hint of anger in his voice and it sidetracks me.

"I thought you would be happy. She's going to forgive you."

I hadn't expected him to stand up so suddenly, the deck of cards being forcefully thrown to the ground. I watched as they scattered all over the floor, Tate's anger evident.

"That's what you wanted all along isn't it?" he yelled loudly in my face and I backed away from him,"Get Violet back in my life because that way you wouldn't feel guilty about leaving and fucking me over!"

"No!" I pleaded. He was scaring me,"Tate no that's not-"

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" he screamed cutting me off, his rage sending me back further away from him,"I knew you were sent here to hurt me! I should have driven you out of here when I had the chance!"

He walked closer to me and pushed me gently against the wall, his face dangerously close to mine.

"You love me don't you? Don't you?," I could hear his voice shaking, tears streaking down his face,"I would have done anything for you. I love you. Tell me you won't leave me. Tell me you'll stay with me forever."

I can't help but stare at him in disbelief. Something wasn't right. This wasn't right.

"Tate—this isn't you. Just calm down and listen to me. I just thought that you'd be happy with Violet again. I do love you. God, I do. But, I'm alive Tate. I'm alive."

I see some sort of fear flicker in his eyes and I can't understand it. He pulls away from me and looks in the other direction, his hands on his head.

"Tate?" I asked cautiously,"Stay here okay? I'll be back and we can talk more and play cards alright?"

I tried to sound reassuring as I inched towards the door, receiving no response from Tate and wrenched it open, closing it softly behind me.

How long I stood against the closed door of my bedroom, I didn't know.

Everything's gonna be okay