"And nobody said that love was easy,

But nobody said it'd be this hard.

And I should've known from the beginning,

That missing you is the hardest thing to do."

-You and I by Tyler Brown Williams

Chapter 3: You and I

A deep scowl graced Sasuke's thin, pursed lips as he stared at the screen of his cell phone. A bright, blueish light shone from it, illuminating the room with a dark glow. His heart made that sickening feeling again, like it was imploding in on itself. He cast his eyes away and jabbed at the END button far too many times then what was necessary to exit his mobile web browser. With a tightened jaw, he sunk into his pillow, sighing in defeat. The sheets no longer smelled of Kakashi's shampoo and laundry detergent. No, the last proof of the man's existence had faded weeks ago.

The thought made him cringe.

On his nightstand, his alarm clock shone 3:53 in bright green numbers as if it was desperate to mock and taunt him. However, he just shifted onto his back and locked his gaze on the ceiling.

He didn't care anymore.

Though he knew he'd wake up exhausted, or end up missing his bus, but he had stopped caring a long time ago. Because, these were things he had grown accustomed to. He was used to being late to school. He was used to waking up in the middle of the night – seemingly for no reason.

In reality, he knew the reason. What he didn't know was why he tried so hard to pretend he didn't.

Every time his half lidded eyes were greeted by his cold, empty room he was always confused. There was always that moment – be it seconds or minutes – where a sudden sense of fear tightened his chest and he had to franticly search his surroundings for his Ka-san.

It was like those days, back when he was so small that he had to stand of his tippy toes to see over tables, when he would get separated from Itachi in the supermarket. Though he should've known better, there was always that gripping fears that maybe his family and forgotten about him and left.

Abandoned…

Only, these days, as he searched the darkness for that familiar warmth, that soothing smile, his Ka-san, the grey haired man was no where to be found.

He really had been…abandoned.

His jaw loosened slightly as he tried to calm himself down. He was getting sick and tired of all this over dramatic thinking. After over a month, you'd figure he'd stop moping about, but he couldn't help himself. It almost seemed as if, without Kakashi, there was no point to life.

Stop it already, he chided himself, stealing a quick glance at his cell phone laying beside him.

It seemed that, lately, he was on the small device nearly every second of the day, checking his email. Because, really, it was all he could do.

Kakashi didn't have a cell phone, so there was no late night texting or calling. And the mission he had been sent on was secret, so there would be no letters arriving in the mail. That left only one option: email.

Sasuke had already sent a few, but had yet to receive a reply. It made that swirling ball of hopelessness grow in the pit of his stomach.

He closed his eyes again, ready and eager to escape from his reality.

If there was one thing he loved about life – if there was one reason that made life worth living at that moment – it was that, at the end of the day, no matter how horrible he felt, he'd always get to dream.

And his dreams were always about his Ka-san.

Always…

x

Sasuke immediately recognized the sweet smell of the apple cinnamon shampoo Kakashi always used and his chest swelled with unimaginable joy. As an instinct, he began to take deeper breaths, inhaling as much of the scent as humanly possible, a smile gracing his lips as he did so.

"Ka-san," he murmured, knowing the grey haired man had to be close. Yet, he was too tired to pry his eyes open and have a look around.

However, his call was answered shortly after, not by words at first, but by strong arms wrapping around his mid section.

"Yes, Sasu-kun?" the man purred into his ear, making Sasuke's heart leap and a smile dace around his lips. God, how he loved to be called that. He loved how the name seemed to spill from Kakashi's perfect lips like love itself.

"Hold me closer," the raven whispered against his elder's chest. Just as he uttered the words, he could feel himself being squeezed tighter ever so slightly.

Yet, still, Kakashi shook his head, "No, Sasuke."

For the first time, the boy's eyes peeked open and he glanced up at his lover with wide, confused, doe eyes that sparkled in the dim lighting.

"But why?" he asked, his voice a small, solemn whisper.

The older man rested his soft, pink lips on Sasuke's forehead lightly before he spoke.

"Because," he explained, smiling that brilliant, soothing smile that turned his eyes into cresents, "I'm afraid I might break you if I hold on too tight. Then I'd be Sasuke-less – and I never want that to happen. Ever."

Heat spread through the boy's cheeks as he stared up at the grey haired man with wide eyes. "K-Ka-san…" he whispered as he closed his eyes again and hid his face in the man's strong, safe chest. "I love you Ka-san," he whispered. His heart beating so slowly, he thought it might stop completely.

Though, he couldn't find it in himself to care if it did. After all, could there be any happier, more peaceful way to die?

"I love you too, Sasu-kun. And I always will…"

And, though he said he wouldn't, he pulled the boy as near as he could, still feeling as if it wasn't quite close enough.

x

This time, as Sasuke's sleep ridden eyes wrestled themselves open, there was no wafting apple cinnamon smell, there was no heart warming smile, and there was no Ka-san. There was only a room – only a cold, dark, empty room.

He hadn't realized he was crying until strangled sobs began to wrench themselves from behind his clenched teeth. They jerked out of him until he was forced to turn onto his side and curl into the tightest ball he could manage. It was all he could do to keep from screaming as the warm tears slid from his eyes, soundlessly plodding against his pillow and dampening it as they dripped from his cheeks.

If there was one thing he hated the most about life – one reason to justify ending his life – it was that, at one point or another, he always woke up from his dreams, realizing that they were nothing more then figments of his imagination and remnants of far away memories.

Whoa, ok so I was in a dark place when I wrote this ._.

Anyways, I'm sorry it took so long to update. Don't kill me! I hope you liked it even though nothing really happened. I'm just trying to show how time is passing. I liked this chapter so there :P Haha, I'm just kidding. Reviews? Please! I NEED them! I'll cry if you don't! Don't make me cry, people! So go, click the review button and leave me something nice! Please?

-Gummi Out