Chapter 2
"Project Gorilla: Entry 10. I regret to report that Project Gorilla was unsuccessful. After numerous hours of trying, subject was categorically unable to grasp even the most rudimentary concepts of physics. In the end, I was forced to teach her to repeat a few phrases of moderately scientific language insulting Leonard's work. Although I found this amusing, I am disappointed that I ultimately had to downgrade to Project Parrot."
Smirking, Sheldon thought back to earlier that evening. Penny had dutifully recited the phrases he taught her, entirely ignorant of their meaning. It was charming somehow. Sheldon watched as the words fell from her mouth, feeling an emotion somewhat akin to pride. There was something about the way the words sounded coming from her. Then, of course, she had spoiled it with her asinine comment about snack cookies. Sheldon sighed. Still, this new feeling stayed with him for the rest of the evening, making it difficult to finish his meal. It was odd.
A familiar thumping sound assaulted Sheldon's ears, followed by muffled moans and giggling. Grimacing, Sheldon donned his noise-cancelling headphones. They didn't help. He added a pillow on top of his face. No good. He could still hear with perfect clarity all that was taking place in the room down the hall. Sheldon pulled the sheet up over his head. Still no help.
"Oh for Pete's sake!" He threw off the sheet and started pacing around the room.
"Why is it bothering me so much?' he wondered, standing before his beloved comic book collection. This happened more or less the same way every night. He should have been used to it. But tonight something was different. Sheldon felt…angry. Why should he feel angry?
Why shouldn't he feel angry! Leonard was breaching the Roommate Agreement again by unreasonably interfering with his enjoyment of the premises. That was it. Clearly this anger was simply the aggregation of his reactions to multiple instances of Leonard's flagrant disregard of the terms of the Roommate Agreement. Honestly, sometimes it seemed like he didn't even read it!
A loud cry from Penny rent the air of the apartment. Sheldon gritted his teeth. Fine, two could play at that game. Honestly, it was so simple that he couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to him before. Granted, he had never attempted such a thing, but he was a genius! He could do it.
Sheldon walked to his bedroom door and slowly opened it a crack. Then, returning to sit on the bed, he set about projecting the most desperately erotic noises he could draw out of his throat, which, given his throat singing experience, offered quite a wide range of sounds. Having no frame of reference for what qualified as "erotic" besides what echoed into his bedroom every evening, he attempted to replicate Leonard's noises exactly. However, he was surprised to find that they sounded different coming from him. His stomach tightened and he gripped the sheets beneath him. Suddenly he noticed something: the apartment was now entirely devoid of sound, except for his. Instantly he stopped.
"Mission accomplished," he thought, getting back under the covers.
The next morning over breakfast, Sheldon noticed that neither Leonard nor Penny would meet his eye.