Life has been good.

Chapter 5

"You're dead, Potter."

"Funny, you would think I'd stop walking around…"

I looked at Potter expectantly as he just glared down at his shoes; his eyes were like green dancing flames from the glare of the moonlight. Finally he looked up at me and took a deep breath. "Draco, I think I might have a bit of a problem." He informed me and then bit his lip as though not really sure whether or not he should tell his former enemy about this problem. My father would be delighted of course, saying that Potter would be the best kind of trophy for us. I, on the other hand, think he's a bit too bigheaded to make him such an important artifact.

"What is your problem, Potter? Or is there too many to distinguish from? I know you have a hero complex, are gay and unable to handle girls, have abandonment issues, and are very possibly attracted to your old enemy. Now which problem are you talking about?" I asked in a polite tone causing him to flush before lunging for me. That's when we both heard a sound from Madam Pomfrey's room making us freeze until the sound died away. I was grateful… because I wasn't sure if just getting to touch me, even in a violent manner, would get Potter off. It's disgusting.

"My problem is that I want to be a teacher at this school but the whole world wants me to be Minister or an Auror or anything in the Ministry." He hissed looking a little embarrassed but I couldn't help but smile at that. He's human. Merlin, this boy is absolutely human. Maybe he's human enough to be like me… maybe.

"Why do you want to be a teacher?" I asked curiously, he could have whatever he wanted in this world and everyone would rush to get it to him free of charge, and yet he just wants to work at this school. Granted this school is a home for me. A home where I can have hours of freedom instead of small little moments when no one is looking, but for Potter it must be an even better home for him. It's no secret that his Muggle family mistreats him. He always comes to school with yellowing bruises that are just beginning to heal and he's always too thin to be healthy. At the end of the school year he looks like a normal boy with pretty much no bruises or scars (unless he was off being a hero which is pretty much every year), only to go back home and get more. This IS his home.

"This is my home. Besides, I'm pretty sure I can keep the Defense Against the Dark Arts job a lot longer than anyone else; I have no intention of leaving. I know the school even better than Fred and George, and I like the idea of a normal year at Hogwarts. This year has been a lot of fun." He grinned making me smile softly to myself.

"Well if you teach here then you can see me. I'm going to own a Potions shop down in Hogsmeade. Severus was my private tutor ever since I was five so I've always known how to brew potions; I'm much better than any potions master I've ever seen except for Severus." I boasted with a smirk on my lips. He just grinned and nodded, which made my smirk fade slightly. Why is he allowing this? He never usually does.

"I'm looking forward to that; you've always been one of the best. Hermione is just a little odd… she's good at everything." He laughed but it sounded rather bitter, or maybe I just wanted him to be more upset than me. Sitting down beside me in a position that's either great for strangling or amazing for making out, he smirked down at me. "You don't seem upset that I'm here, even after I kissed you." He informed making me glance over at him warily.

"I haven't thought about it much, to be honest." I replied with a tired sigh. It's true and now he's brought it up once again. It's annoying but I don't mind at the moment. It's not like he's confessing his love or anything. Harry Potter is simply stating a fact that he had noticed, it was just something that seemed odd to him. This is perfectly normal and frankly it is beginning to get on my nerves. Does he want some sort of reaction from me?

"Sure, your enemy kisses you and you don't bother to think much about it. It makes perfect sense." Potter said but he said it in such a way that held no sarcasm or ill meaning. It was said as though he thought this made perfect sense. "You don't seem to be leaning towards girls or guys and you seem more like a shell lately rather than an actual person. My kiss didn't seem to do anything to change that but the Euphoria Potion and this win did, and I guess I can live with that." He smiled, but it was bitter as he turned around to leave. I stared at him in shock then sat up swiftly.

"What do you mean? Did you want me to be happy about it?" I asked him softly, almost scared of the answer. If he really did want me to feel moved or something by it then he was sadly mistaken, but what does he mean 'I guess I can live with that?' Potter's eyes flashed a brilliant fiery green that warmed my stomach and heated my core.

"I can handle you not liking me like that, especially if something else can make you happier than I can." He informed me letting me see something that scared me more than Merlin himself. Potter looks like he's telling the truth; I can see it in his eyes. He loves me… the Chosen One loves a vile traitor. How sick is that? And yet… it's pulling me in. I want him to, I like that he does…

But no, I can't do it.

He's a hero, and I'm just the creep who chose the wrong side.

Falling asleep that night was like shoving yourself into cold water and trying to breathe. It wasn't possible but also… comforting in a way. It made you feel like this is real, its reality and you have to deal with it. Simple, and plain, but also something that heightens the senses, I did wind up falling asleep though. The next few days weren't so simple, or comforting.

I didn't avoid him, but I didn't see Potter for days, and whenever I did either he disappeared or I had to head out to class or private lessons whenever he seemed to finally have gotten the balls to come after me. Moaning Myrtle is ignoring me which is thanks to me being a complete dick a couple weeks ago. With a sigh I realized that one week had gone by and for some reason they've felt… normal. Not cold or hot, not bad or interesting, it was just one regular week at school without the presence of Potter.

"School is going to be over in a couple weeks… and then we'll be adults." Blaise said with a look of amazement on his face. I glanced over at him then shrugged my shoulders. It's not like I really care, the future holds nothing for me, nothing that wasn't already planned last year. It'll be a long dull life that I'll be forced to live with perhaps the possibility of being killed by someone who hates Death Eaters. His eyes widened suddenly as he took a step back. "Oh… hello, I'll just leave you two alone then." Blaise frowned and looked between me and the person who apparently has randomly appeared behind me. I watched him go for a second before smirking.

"To what do I owe the honor, Potter?" I asked without turning around and began to head outside the front doors of the school. Lunch can wait, but he just grabbed hold of my wrist and stopped me before forcing me around. He dragged in the direction of the Astronomy Tower causing my palms coverin cold sweat. It was icy and made my hands clammy but I didn't care.

"I don't want this school year to end with you being apathetic towards the fact that I like you. I'm sorry but I really don't want to give up on you unless I know for a fact that I have no chance at all," Potter said softly with a determined look on his face.

"So the Chosen One is gay for sexy old me? Aw… how sick!" I laughed with a smug expression as we entered the tower. He sat down on some steps and looked me over for a moment with a serious expression.

"Why is that sick?" He asked with an amused look on his face. My jaw dropped as I stared at Harry Potter in absolute horror. Is this some kind of joke? The boy ran a finger through my hair and looked deep into my eyes. "You're very sexy, and you're brilliant as well. There's this odd sort of sarcastic charm about you, I bet it's just your sharp tongue, but it makes me want to hear every word that comes out of that mouth. You're cold and sometimes even frozen but I think I like that too, it brings me down to earth. I like you Draco. I really do." Potter said softly, his dark hair playing over his dancing green eyes.

I shoved myself away from him and paled in horror. There's no way this can be true! He can't be doing this or saying this or anything! It's just sick and wrong and horrible! "You can't! You're the Boy-Who-Bloody-Lived! It isn't possible for you to like a former enemy! It has to be breaking several rules or something!" I cried, becoming panicked as my blood turned to ice and my eyes stayed wide. He just smirked. He doesn't seem to understand… how the fuck am I supposed to make him understand? If he pursues this then I will have to be with him… and I don't want to be!

"Yes but if I'm as amazing as you make me seem then I can just change the rules, now can't I?" Potter asked with a wide smile on his face. I ignored him, no longer liking the boy at all. He's got some nerve confessing all this to me and making it seem like everything will be all fine and dandy if we end up together. That's impossible after all. No one will accept us. I'm not normal or good or fine or okay, all I am is someone who's no longer evil and is now working towards being a boring cold puppet. That's all I am and all I shall be, but now Potter is here. This isn't right and it's not fair! I shouldn't be thinking about this! I don't even like him!

"I hate you, we could never work out." I hissed, feeling all the ideals of my father and mother pushing themselves upon me, making my words come out perfectly. I have to end this and if I have to then I shall do it as the puppet that I am. Strings along my arms made me push up off of the floor and soon I was moving forward with the grace and agility given to me by my puppet master. I stared icily at Potter with my hand on the doorknob. "I can't do this." I informed him softly and then left.

The world is cold and heartless and cruel. Everyone has a puppet master who controls them until it is time for us to be on our own, in which we wind up doing exactly as our puppet master would have us do. I have my parents, Potter had Dumbledore and now… now I have to do this. It could be sweet in a way, having someone fawn over me and adore my very presence. But it would go against everything in my name and I cannot have that. It's not right and not fair but life isn't fair. This world isn't fair and I just have to deal with it.

I don't love Harry James Potter, but I am interested in his flame and how he's just so damn human. I'm intrigued by that, but I will not be able to accept him. If I do then I must give up everything. I must afford the Potions store on my own; I must deal with isolation and the whole world hating me even worse than they do now. I will probably lose both Goyle and Blaise, and it is very likely that I will cause Potter a lot of pain and suffering thanks to bad press and no one understanding.

The world will hate their savior…

So I can't do it.

The next morning was quiet. No one wanted to bother with me which is fine. It's not like I won our most important Quidditch game or anything. No, nothing like that. Blaise and Goyle seemed busy every time I saw them, people wanted their time and they seemed happy to give it. Everyone wanted to make sure that they wouldn't lose contact with anyone because… contacts with each other will be important from now on. It's more of a precaution in case someone gets attacked than anything though. When I got back to the dorm room I was surprised to see everyone's trunks full.

Everyone had already begun packing but I am waiting to do so. I don't want to leave, and yet I'm going to have to in order to grow up and be a man. Standing in the empty room for a second longer, I looked at my trunk and sighed softly before heading over and following my classmates' example. My hands were trembling as I packed my things but since I was alone I didn't bother to force them to be steady. The future is the scariest thing I've ever come across other than the idea that Harry Potter may be in love with me. It's scary but something I'm going to have to face, both that and the future itself.

I don't know why it's so terrifying, my life is all laid out for me and all I have to do is just go through the motions, I don't even have to try. Father will be sending me everything I need and from there I will be working on simply maintaining the shop and making a profit. That is all I will need to do; Stress Antidotes for students who are overworking themselves, Euphoria potions will be limited to only one sold every two months, Luck will be a prize given to a customer who has purchased a thousand galleons worth of potions. It'll be a dull way of life that I will accept because I'm supposed to. My mind flashed to Potter but I shut those thoughts down immediately.

"Hey Malfoy, are you still packing?" A voice called making me pause and compose myself before turning to the dorm entrance. That's when Blaise and Goyle walked in looking bored and a little excited somehow, although the combination doesn't make any sense. Blaise's eyes were wide when he noticed the little amount of packing I'd done but Goyle just walked over and started to help me, albeit messily. I nodded towards him, making sure to keep my smile inside. My stomach felt like a block of ice but I ignored it and continued to pack with cold sweat along my arms as well now. The little world I've made for myself is going… and soon it will be gone completely. All these years of being a student and now after this one I won't be, I'll be an adult.

We packed in silence until I was finally finished. "I'm hungry." Goyle informed us and then turned around to leave, but he waited for me to leave the dorm first making me frown. Where is he going after this? What will he be? Does… does he have the ability to replace me as his leader? I shut off my mind once more and made my way to the Great Hall. Students were chatting excitedly and eating away but to my surprise and anguish, Harry Potter was waiting for me by the Great Hall entrance doors on the inside so I couldn't run away without bumping into Blaise and Goyle.

"Leave me alone." I hissed and went around him to my table. He just followed with a smirk on his face, seemingly amused at the situation. I ignored him as best I could but it was hard with all the stares. Harry Potter isn't supposed to be at the Slytherin table, and he's not supposed to be talking to me. It just makes no sense and is probably one of the worst things he could do for his social standing… except maybe going out with me.

"Hey Draco, do you want to eat lunch together?" I blinked up at him in surprise, wait… how long has he been using my first name? It never really caught my attention until he just used it in front of everyone at my table, but when did he suddenly change? The others seemed to notice the name change as well and began to whisper excitedly. It wasn't like in some drama where everyone was watching, teachers and ghosts included. No, only about thirty people noticed and around ten seemed to be making rumors while the others watched entranced. It wasn't as big as I would have preferred. Maybe if its big enough then I can breathe and escape. Some of the people around me who have been clingy all year had gasped aloud in shock. These people of lower stature have the gall to be able to show their emotions so freely in front of this hero? It's pathetic, and sick, but even so my voice couldn't work and my body refused to move. Where is my puppet master? Why can't he help me?

"No thank you, Potter." I said curtly, my voice slightly stiff but it came out well enough with a dry cold mouth and a clenching throat. He just frowned and then sighed dramatically before collapsing in the seat beside me, looking at me with wide sad puppy eyes that looked fairly odd on him. That's when he leaned forward so that his lips were near my ear.

"Just a few more days till your dad makes sure you have the perfect life… before we get out of Hogwarts I'll make sure you choose an imperfect life with me instead." He smirked making me back away and glare. Why can't he just understand that I don't want to ruin his life? His entire world would turn upside down and he'd lose everything! I don't even give a damn about what I'll lose because nothing is important to me anymore. I cannot allow anything to be and yet he's willing to just throw it all away on some stupid whim? How ridiculous is that? He just doesn't understand the way this world works, and I don't want to be the one to teach him.

Closing my eyes tightly I then took a deep breath before standing up and leaving the room. I can't handle this. How can he be so… so stupid? Isn't there a limit to how stupid a person can be? I thought there was one at least, somewhere between falling off a bridge and destroying the world while that person is still on it. Reality is cold and harsh and cruel and wrong and yet he's acting like the whole damn world is just going to accept it all! Or… maybe he's not.

He said that our life together would be imperfect… so he must know, to at least some extent, just how unfair this world truly is. It's always going to be unfair and that's just fine because maybe in my moment of losing everything in the world… maybe it'll allow me to steal something good out of the hatred and malice and misery. I may be able to steal something that can make the two of us happy…

But I don't love him.