I'm not sure how we got hear it's a bit of a blur. One minute we were sat writing math problems the next we were laid making out on my bed. I remember thinking I'm falling for him and then wanting to kick myself and take it back because it was going to be stuck in my head forever now. I couldn't stop myself I couldn't pull away, this wasn't my first kiss. I'd kissed hundreds of guy's mainly worried boy's who were confused; they come to me because they know I won't out them. I remembered my intense make out session with Puck and the following shouting match because he tried to pressure me into something more. Me and Blaine couldn't be together that was the short and the long of it Santana would disown me as a friend and I'd be an outcast Sue would probably drop me form what squad and I'd have nothing.
I pulled away quickly "we can't do this" I said
Blaine's frowned "what" he said as if he didn't understand
"Blaine you and I are too very different people, we have nothing in common we can't be together" I lied
Blaine frowned "I know you like me and I like you so what's the problem"
I rolled my eye's "fine you want me to say It I don't like you" I cried
Blaine smirked "you can say what you want Kurt Hummel I know you like me" he said simply. His smirked little smile making it almost impossible to not lean in and kiss him again because fuck he was sexy even in his dorky cloths. I looked away quickly wanting to look somewhere but at him.
"why can't be together Kurt we have only ever talked to each other once and look at us, what are you so afraid of?" he asked sounding slightly pissed off now
I sighed "I just... I can't risk it all threw middle school I was hated I'm not going back to that I'm on top I'm cool and popular and I can't risk it"
"why do you care so much about what people think about you this may be the first time you have acknowledged my existence but I have been watching you Kurt Hummel and you hate this" he snapped
I frowned "what are you talking about, are you some sort of stalker you know nothing about me" I yelled
Blaine rolled his eyes "it's not too hard to see Kurt you hate this you hate being a cheerio and It's so freaking obvious, You hate it because it's not you and we both know it" he sounded really pissed of he looked at me, right into my eyes I felt like he was looking right into and I knew he was right still I remained expressionless.
Blaine look furious "fine whatever Kurt, you know what my sister said you were an air head cheerleader but I thought I could see that but no she was right" he said before grabbing his bag and leaving. I was left there sat on my bed alone with my thoughts. I wondered what I had risked just to be with Blaine today. What if he told Rachel what if Rachel told anyone I'd heard about her she was a blabber mouth she would spread it around school.

"Kurt out of bed now" I heard my dad yell from upstairs I put a pillow over my head. I didn't want to get out of yet, in fact I didn't want to get out of bed at all.
"Kurt you're going to be late come on" he shrieked. I cursed him under my breath and dragged myself out. I looked at my clock 8:00 I had to be in school it 20 minutes. No time for my moisturising routine I'll have to do it at school with my emergence kit in my locker. I pulled on my cheerio's kit and stomped out of my basement bed room and up the stairs to the kitchen were my dad was sat sipping coffee and reading the news paper.
"I told you to get up like sixteen times, what took you so long?", he asked I sighed and sat down on the chair across from him my dad frowned at me "Kurt what's wrong?" he asked me. I looked away I didn't want to tell him. "Kurt if something is wrong you need to tell me ok" he sounded really worried I knew why.

I only ever had one friend in middle school and that was Mercedes we were best friends we did everything together. In our last year at the school when we were both worried 14 year olds about to go into high school told her my biggest secret that I was gay. She didn't act shocked I was the first to admit that I was obvious. Most people had guessed and they weren't happy. I was bullied people hated me. Mercedes was as well but not as bad. At the end of the year things got really bad. Instead of insults and small bruises I got broken noses, punches and kicks. After a while it all got too much I was so miserable I hated every minute of my life. I couldn't tell my dad because he wouldn't understand. Mercedes had her own problems she knew I was being bullied and she tried to help but there wasn't much I would let her help me with, in case she got hurt herself. I ended up pushing her away. I felt so lonely and hurt. I could only think of one way out.

I remembered the lights of the ambulance, the shouting, my dad crying. I remember waking up in a hospital bed aching all over, seeing my dad's face, Mercedes crying and Blaming herself. I just wanted it all to go away part of me was so glad that I had survived part of me just wanted to die. My dad walked in giving me a concerned look the one he didn't seem to be able to wipe from his face, he pulled up a chair and say by my bed. I wanted to bury myself under the soft covers but I didn't I knew this would happen at some point. I opened my mouth not quite sure what to say, which was why I was partly thankful when my dad stopped me.
"Kurt, let me talk first ok I have been thinking for ages about what I want to say to you and I think I finally know", he said I nodded "Kurt I really don't know why you did this but whatever it is we can get through it, you can tell me anything I don't care what it is and I promise you I will always be there for you I promise you that"
Tears started pouring down my face, I looked away I couldn't look at him "dad" I whimpered not knowing what else to say.
"I already lost your mum and I can't louse you, you're my son and you mean the world to me" he took a deep breath I turned back to him, tears were welling up in his eye's "I love you son, please don't ever try anything like that again"
I was sobbing now, one uncontrollable sob after another "Dad, I... I'm so sorry I..." I started My dad leaned over and pulled me into a gentle hug.
"Were going to get through this" he said as he pulled away. I nodded in agreement. I had never felt closer to him and eventfully I told him why I did it and I came out. That week I and Mercedes made a pact. We would do all we can to become popular in high school. On the first day we auditioned for the cheerio's and we got in. We made friends with Brittany and Santana and we never looked back.

Blaine didn't understand. He didn't know why I couldn't go back to that; I just couldn't face it again. I sighed wondering what would happen. I walked into school coffee in hand looking for any Singh that he had told someone so far it was clear. I got to my locker and l pulled out some books I would need for history and shoved them in my bag. I was about to slam the door shut when I noticed a note someone must have shoved threw the vent. I picked it up and studied it. It was folded in half with Kurt written in a fancy loopy handwriting I didn't recognise. I unfolded it and began to read.

Dear Kurt,
I'm sorry if I was a little out of line yesterday. Can you meet me in the auditorium as soon as you get this, we need to talk.
Blaine
I read it then re read it. I didn't know what to do... it was too risky I thought. What if someone saw us? I stood there and looked around, I was early again today, and there was barley anyone here. I saw a brunette girl with big brown eyes. Rachel Anderberry Blaine's twin sister, she was known around school for being irritating and wearing horrific animal sweaters. She looked at me and smiled, it was probably the biggest show biz smile I had ever seen. I raised my eye brow and turned around and walked of in the direction of the auditorium.

"Blaine?" I called walking on to the stage. I couldn't see him anywhere I sighed and walked to the edge of the stage I sat down letting my leg's dangle of the edge. I sighed he told me to get hear asap, so where was he?
"Kurt?" I heard someone call, I recognised the voice it was Blaine I pulled myself up, Blaine smiled at me I frowned and sighed.
"I brought breakfast" he said holding up a paper bag and a holder with two cups of coffee.
"Oh I've already eaten" I explained
"Well do you still want the coffee?" asked Blaine
I thought for a second, I had just had one but "what is it?" I asked
"Non-fat Mocha", said Blaine I smiled to myself and nodded "what's with the smiling?" he asked
"Nothing" I lied taking the coffee and sipping it.
"I think we both know we need to talk about what happened" said Blaine
I sighed "why?" I asked
Blaine looked me right in the eye's "look me in the eye's and tell me it meant nothing to you" I looked him in the eye's and opened my mouth then closed it again. I knew I couldn't, if I did then I would be lying. Blaine lifted up his hand and put it on my face, he leaned in so close I could smell coffee and his hair gel. His lips brushed against mine and then pulled me into a long and passionate kiss. He pulled away and smiled at me his eyes shined I smiled, I didn't want to but I couldn't help myself. I didn't want to like him, I really didn't but I couldn't help it.
"Just be with me, Kurt" he said
"Blaine, I just...I do like you I really really do but...I just" I looked at the floor
Blaine looked a little angry "this is because, I'm not as cool as you isn't it" he said cool with air quotations. I looked away; I didn't want to hurt Blaine. Blaine started to get up.
"wait" I said grabbing his arm. He looked into my arms. I pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. Little did I know we were being watched.