A/N: Who wants to help me kick the site in the head? I'm a little irritated. I want to update every day for you guys, but if I can't upLOAD, I can't upDATE. What a pain!! Anyway, on with chapter three! R&R! XO, Kinsey J

--

I fly into his arms as he wraps me into a bear hug, muttering about how we're going to find the son of a bitch who took my daughter as he's smoothing his hand over my hair.

"Elliot, we have to find her," I bawl into his shoulder. He's here. I can cry. He's so good at holding me while I c
"We'll find her Liv. We'll find her. Munch and Fin are looking through every database we have right now. We're going to get the bastard. I promise you."

"Elliot, don't make a promise you can't keep."

"Olivia. He is not going to get away with her. I swear to you. We will find him. Let's get you to the station house."

I nod in agreement and we start walking for his car, his arm wrapped securely around me.

"Liv…" he begins. Oh boy. This man was my best friend for over ten years, my fake husband for two years, and… is… the father of my child. I know exactly where this is going.

"I don't want to talk about it, right now, okay? I will tell you the story. But let's find her first," I whisper.

"You got it, Liv. Whatever you want," he says, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. We get to his unmarked SUV and I climb in the passenger side, totally numb. Five minutes ago I was freaking out, and now I can't feel anything but a dull ache and I'm not really sure where it's coming from. Please, God, let her be okay. Elliot jogs around the front of the SUV and climbs in the driver's side. Buckling his seat belt quickly, he throws it in drive and takes off for the station house. Where I'll have a lot of explaining to do.

--

"Liv! We got a hit on a van matching the description you gave," Fin announces to me as I walk in the door of the 1-6. It's like I never left.

"Great! Take John and go check it out," Captain Cragen directs, walking out of his office. "Welcome back, Olivia. I'm sorry it's not under better circumstances," he says, pulling me into a hug.

"Thanks, Don. Me too," I say, hugging him back.

"So what's your husband do?" Don asks bluntly. He knows. I know he knows.

"I'm not actually married. Just me and Kelli," I say, blushing. This is awkward.

"Do you have a recent picture of Kelli?" Elliot asks gently. Well. If anyone sees what I see when I look at her, they're going to have this figured out in an instant. I dig my checkbook out of my purse and pull out her school picture, plus one of her cheesy grinning face when she lost a tooth.

"This one was from last fall at school, and this one was about a week ago," I explain. Waiting. Waiting for them to notice. Waiting to be found out. Elliot gasps. Here we go.

"She's beautiful, Liv. She looks just like her mom," he says.

And her dad. But thanks for not saying anything.

Don takes the pictures from Elliot and stares at my daughter. He looks at me, his eyes trailing to Elliot quickly and back to me. "He's right, Liv. She's gorgeous. Looks just like you."

"Thanks guys," I say quietly.

"I'm going to go send these out. I sent out a teletype already, we've got everyone in the tri-state looking for Kelli, Liv. We're going to find her," Don assures me, walking back into his office to make some calls.

"Thank you."

"Want to go grab some coffee and then go see what we can find around the park?" Elliot asks.

I nod, following him back out of the precinct.

--

"Are you mad?" I ask, taking a slow sip of my latte.

"Yeah. I am. But we need to concentrate on finding our daughter. And we'll talk about everything else when we find her."

"I'm sorry, Elliot. And for what it's worth, that's why I'm here. Dana talked me into it."

"You should have come six years ago."

It scares me how calm he is. Elliot's not calm. He's a screamer. He's a rager. He should be yelling at me, and it's almost more frightening that he's not.

"I know that," I say. "I could have prevented this."

"That's not what I'm saying, Olivia, and you know it."

"It's what I'm saying, Elliot. If I had told you… told you about Kelli… we wouldn't be here now. This wouldn't have happened. I could have prevented it as recently as this morning," I mutter.

"What do you mean?"

I sigh. "I lied to our daughter Elliot. It feels like I lie to her a lot, lately. This morning… well… last night… I called Dana to tell her we got here okay, and Kelli was telling her goodnight and Dana was telling her about the zoo… Kelli asked me if her daddy could come… I told her why we were here. She knows we're here to meet you… I told her I'd call this morning. She got in the shower… and I didn't call. When she got out, I told her I had called and that you were busy. But that we'd see you tomorrow…" I finish, tears welling in my eyes again.

"You know I love her already," he says.

"I know. And she loves you."

"How did you explain to her why I wasn't in her life?"

Crap. The big lie. I mumble under my breath what I'd told her.

"What?" he asks. I know he heard me. My lie is so ridiculous I know he's just asking because he can't believe what he heard.

"I told her you were dead."

"Olivia!" There's the screamer I know. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"

"That you didn't love me. That if I'd told you, and you did stay, you would only stay out of obligation."

"OLIVIA ANNE. What would possess you to think something like that?!"

I shrug. "Would you have stayed?"

"I don't know," he says. "I wanted to... but we were just supposed to be on a short undercover. And it took two years. And I had four kids here I had to think about," he says. "I loved you, Olivia, but I have an obligation to them."

Loved. Past tense. He loved me. As in doesn't anymore, as in time to get over him, Liv. Move on. That's what I need to hear. Not what I want to hear, mind you, but what I need.

"You know, you could have come back with me," he says. "We could have raised Kelli here."

"Elliot… I… I know. And maybe we should have. But I didn't. And we didn't. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," the tears overflow and I'm sobbing. Elliot pulls into a space by the zoo and puts the SUV in park.

"I'm sorry too, Liv. I… This is all just so much. I mean, this is my job, but it's different because she's your daughter, and then I see this picture, and it becomes even more… something… because she's my daughter," he pauses and I glance up to see tears in his bright blue eyes.

"Do you want Cragen to take you off the case?" I ask.

"No," he whispers. "I have to find my daughter. I have to. I need to have the chance to be her dad. It's selfish… and I know I'm too close… to the case…" he trails off.

"It isn't selfish, Elliot. I took that chance away from you. But I want to make it right. Like I said, that's why we're here. I was going to see you. Eventually," I mutter.

"Yeah. I know. Let's find our baby," he says, smiling gently at me.

I nod my agreement and he pulls back out of the parking lot and we start driving in the direction I'd seen the van head with our daughter.

--

"Stabler," he answers his beckoning cell phone a little while later. "Shit… yeah. I know… you guys tried. I know… We'll find her, Fin… yeah she's right here with me… hold on." He hands me his cell phone. "Fin," he says.

"Hey Fin," I say, trying to force a smile into my voice.

"Hey girl. I'm sorry. We lost the van."

"It's okay. You guys tried. Remember I used to be here. I know how hard it is."

"I know, Liv. It's just… damn, I just want to find her. For you and…"

"For me and Elliot. Yeah, I know, Fin."

"We'll find her, Liv. I promise."

"Thanks Fin. Call if you know anything. Let me give you my cell number," I rattle off my number for him.

"Okay. We'll be in touch, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you," I reply.

"He knows?"

"He knows." I pause. "Who could look at those eyes and that chin and not know?" I smile.

He laughs. "She does kinda look like me."

"I know."

"She looks like you too, Liv. She's a good mix of both of us. She's beautiful," he says, his voice cracking just a little.

"We'll find her, Elliot. She's somewhere…" my voice trails off as I too, start to cry.

"Okay. We need to get our dream team hats on," he laughs. "Pull it together, Benson."

I smile tearfully. "Okay Stabler. You got it."

--

Ten o'clock. She's been gone almost twelve hours and we've got nothing. The guys have been chasing down false leads all day. I've been sitting on my ass at the station, worrying, and looking through database upon database.

"Liv, honey, you need to go get some sleep," Cragen informs me.

"I'm good, Cap," I say, though I know I'm exhausted.

"Sleep, Olivia. We've got officers chasing all over looking for her. You can take a couple hours to sleep."

"I… Captain…"

"You. Need. Sleep. I'm sending Stabler with you."

"Okay," I agree weakly, just as Elliot walks in.

"Okay, what?" he asks.

"You and Liv are going to get some shut eye. No arguments," the captain responds.

"Cap, I--"

"Did you not hear me say no arguments, Stabler?"

"But, Kelli…"

"Elliot." Don looks around the squad room and sees that the three of us are the only ones here. "We'll find your daughter. Take Olivia and go get some rest."

"Okay," Elliot gives in. "Ready?" he asks me.

"Um, yeah. Let me grab my bag." I gather my purse, my mind whirring the whole time. Mostly about finding Kelli, but a little bit about Elliot. And how I really don't want to be alone tonight. I won't sleep if I can't hear snoring. She gets that from him. I need him to stay with me. I need to fall asleep in his arms and know that everything is going to be okay in the morning. This is all a dream. I'm going to wake up. At home. In Jackson. With my daughter. Without Elliot. That part makes me a little sad. I didn't realize how good it was going to feel to see him.

We're in the Tahoe now, headed for the Four Seasons. It dawns on me that I haven't called Dana to tell her what happened. I pull out my cell phone and quickly speed-dial her number.

"Lewis."

"Dane?" I burst into tears.

"Olivia! Honey, what's the matter?!"

I can't compose myself and I hand the phone to Elliot.

"Star?" He asks. He's about the only person that calls her by her undercover alias. "Hey, it's Elliot. Look, um, Kelli… Kelli was kidnapped." Elliot holds the phone away from his ear and I can hear my boss shrieking at the top of her lungs. I almost laugh. She's yelling at him like it's his fault. "Star… Star… DANA. Calm down… they were at the zoo… Liv had her eye off Kelli for a second… you know how it happens. It can happen to anyone… someone took her. Yeah… We're following every lead we get, but they're all dead-ending… it was obviously a stranger since no one knew Liv was coming out here. It just sucks... Yeah… she told me… well. I saw a picture. I knew… yeah. I can't wait to meet her," a huge grin spreads across his handsome face as I finally manage to get my sobbing under control. I motion for him to give me the phone back. "Here's Liv," he says, surrendering my cell phone.

"Hi Dane," I say.

"Honey! I'm so sorry! What a horrible way for Elliot to find out!"

"I know," I sniffle.

"It'll be okay, Liv. You know if anyone can find her, her daddy can," she whispers. I sneak a glance over at Elliot who's watching the road and also glancing back at me periodically.

"I know. Her dad's a great guy," I smile. He reaches over and takes my hand and puts it on his thigh, our fingers tangled together.

Oh boy.

--

A/N: What do you guys think? The smut is totally on the horizon. You can just SMELL it, can't you? My little bloodhounds. You'll have to wait a bit longer, I think I'm going to make the next chapter from Kelli's POV. I looooooove writing in the first person, present tense. I'm sure it bugs the hell out of some people and I can't read regular books written like that (they drive me nuts) but with this… I don't know. I like it! Let me know what you think! I need to draw this out a little longer, so if you have any flashes of brilliance, let me know!! XO, Kinsey J!