The palace was alight with activity, thousands of candle flames dancing over the polished faces of nobles.
Toph was sitting in her brightly lit room, staring sightlessly at the polished mirror before her as her maid flitted around her anxiously. Her limbs were experiencing electric jolts of pins and needles every time she moved them, having remained dormant for an unbelievable amount of time and then fallen asleep. Her vision was thus distinctly tunneled, her feet limited in their ability to wander and probe the earth, rooted reluctantly into the ground below her chair till the feeling and the blood came rushing back. She felt naked and awkward- not only was her sight confined, but she had just taken her first shower in a month, the absence of the usual layer of grime upon her skin and imprinted into her soles oddly disquieting. Perfume and the scent of bath salts wafted off her in tides, their combined fragrance thick and cloying, her native smell smothered into oblivion. She fidgeted in her formal attire, the stays and hooks of her camisole digging into her spine, restricting the movements of her diaphragm as she struggled to gasp for a breath through her mouth, grimacing at the pervasive redolence streaming into her lungs. The silken top she wore over her undergarments was uncomfortably tight, her chest straining against the material, the dark arm band in its usual spot on her left forearm, providing a contrast against the pale green of her outfit. Meishi had styled her hair into fanciful curls, pulled back to reveal the pale refine of her mistress' face, their stiff waves hard and heavy as they hung from either side of her thick, black chignon. Whenever she turned sharply, they swung and hit her in the face hard, rock against flesh, each one of her winces accentuated by the artistic wisp of makeup lining her youthful features.
Each one of these things deepened her foul mood, thorns jabbing into her sides, sharpened vines that crept up her legs clawing at her and dragging thin red lines of pain down. She honestly failed to see what the point was. It was just a stupid party for a stupid bear who probably couldn't even appreciate the food, let alone the company and the effort they had made in dressing up. The Council had given her an ultimatum- attend cleaned-up, or else. She loathed the discomfort she had been forced into, being made to attend the so-called 'event of the highest society'. There was no one to clean herself up for, not like that time when- her face hardened instantly, a spasm of a scowl darting across her face, momentarily distorting the manicured features of her face. It was at odds with the lurking shame in her gut, rising to amplify the palette of blush dashed across her cheeks.
He hadn't come that day, to the talk on the establishment of trade routes between the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes. For once, she had taken the initiative to actually be present at the meeting; she had woken up two hours earlier and removed yesterday's dirt from herself, donning her arm band prominently on her uncovered arm. She was more than a little disappointed and hurt when her feet detected nothing familiar in the crowd of foreign bodies, and had accosted Hakoda after the hordes of officials had left, remarking upon his son's absence. She soon found out how he had returned to Kyoshi Island to see Suki and his son, letting his father take over his ambassador duties. It was a last minute decision, the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe had assured her, due to Suki's unrelenting pleads- they had only dropped him off at the island three days before, en route to Ba Sing Se. Toph had then thanked Hakoda, the polite smile hiding daggers, then gone to the Dai Li training arena for some individual training. Anger had loosened her bending, making her movements sloppy and free, her limbs flowing in a haphazard dance, leaving her sweaty and exhilarated but no less upset as she surveyed the rubble that had once been the wall separating the gardens from her agents' training grounds.
She let out an audible sigh, wondering when she'd finally get the message Sokka was obviously trying to send her and just give up hoping. A year and a half had gone by since she had last danced with him upon the freshly fallen snow at the Southern Water Tribe. What were the chances that he would even make the effort to come see her, now that he had a family to look after? She chose to ignore the fact that Aang, Katara and Zuko had the growing shoots of their own families to tend to; Sokka was probably caught up in the honeymoon phase of parenthood, she reasoned. She could just recall the way he used to take her hand, guiding her as they strolled, an anchor in unfamiliar places, like a parent tugging along their small child. The memories were vague, viewed through a sheet of water, blurred by over six month's lack of use. She allowed a melancholy smile to flicker across her lips, reminding herself she was an adult and hardly needed someone to take care of her, not when she was one of the most powerful benders in the world. Still, it was nice, the smallest of his actions translating into his affection and concern for her. It was something she missed and reveled in; for all her independence and capability, it was refreshing to let someone else take her hand and tug her in the right direction.
'Finished,' a satisfied Meishi sighed, her fingers giving a final twirl to the curls framing her mistress' porcelain skin, curtains to the frosted windows of her eyes. The maidservant stepped back, studying Toph's reflection in the mirror while the latter continued her dull, empty stare. She nodded to herself, approving; it had taken close to three hours, two instances of pleading and a loofah, but she had finally gotten the Commander of the Dai Li to look like a presentable, pretty, and most importantly, clean young woman.
'You look amazing, my lady, if I do say so myself,' Meishi declared, her eyes roving appreciatively with barely-masked pride over her masterpiece before skipping off to put away the bottles containing the various cosmetic products used. 'I wouldn't be surprised if a few dignitaries tonight took some notice of you!'
Toph grunted, blowing her bangs out of her face. 'Yeah, sure.' Her voice full of sarcasm, she heaved herself out of her chair and ignored Meishi's gasp as she tread on the hem of her trousers, wriggling her toes to alleviate the prickling feeling in her lead legs. It was a stroke of luck on her part when her maidservant allowed her to don a garment she could actually move in, never mind that it was uncouth and unladylike for her to wear pants to a royal party. Meishi had seen to her hair and face for the contrasting effect. A last smooth to her clothes, a last patting of her hair- she made herself stop suddenly, frozen with her hand halfway to her chignon, her mouth pinched but resigned.
She didn't care what she looked like normally, so why would she start now? It wasn't like he was going to be there. She had been too proud to ask if he was coming in their last letter, helpfully composed by Jin this time, since his reply to the letter she had written herself had been something along the lines of I can't read your handwriting. Moreover, the official invitation had been sent to him courtesy of the Royal Internal Affairs department, and she had restrained herself from asking if had accepted to prevent herself from getting hopeful. Hope was her downfall, a momentary savior giving way to the gaping caverns of disappointment and deeper anguish. If he wouldn't come for an international economic talk, she highly doubted he would attend a party for Bosco.
For her.
She let her eyelids drop over her eyes, an impatient breath fleeing from her nostrils, concealing the stabbing annoyance of her melancholy as she stepped over the threshold of her rooms, a small palm pushing the wooden door open. Together, she and Meishi left her bedchambers in silence, the latter walking to the right of the regal, imposing figure Toph now cut, slightly behind in deference. His ghost drifted on her other side, visible in her mind only, a vague outline of supple muscles and the scent of musk and meat. It had been too long; she had already forgotten the things she once held close to her heart, tucked away in neat pigeonholes in her head, categorized into important moments and smell and feelings. She didn't remember how warm he had felt, or what his laugh sounded like. She couldn't even remember the way he sounded- all that echoed was Jin's tenor, interspersed with a gruffness she knew was derived from Iroh's. She had taken fragments from his messengers, piecing them together to substitute the sound of Sokka's voice. His heartbeat was growing fainter as the miles between them remained, ever constant, not close enough to feel, not close enough to refresh her recollection. The one thing she recognized as him was fading, shifting across the fine line from reality to her imagination. She was losing him, cupping water trickling away in her hands. The hallways were empty like her memory, scones lit, the fire casting pools of light across the darkened corridors, breaking through the windows to dance in the cool night air.
Like a lighthouse guiding ships, or a flame attracting moths, the illumination drew people in, casting faint photons on those arriving on foot or carriages drawn by ostrich horses. She felt the rumbles of four nations' worth of government officials, nobles and the occasional gate-crasher three floors beneath her, every step, breath and beat seeping through the brick, spreading out and upwards, growing smaller in magnitude as they passed through the thickness of the palace walls. They felt like the ants she had shown Aang nine years ago, insignificant and quiet for all their worldly importance, inconspicuous wrinkles on the face of timeless stones. Toph was already tired, her fresh feet dragging slightly, her soles rubbed raw and red. Resigned to the awkward small-talk and forced mingling that would inevitably come her way for the next three hours, she had desperately wanted to stay in bed and let the Council be damned, but her friends would probably track her down and rip her head off in their overprotective fashion if she started avoiding them once again.
They soon reached the Ballroom; she could feel the weight of dancers gracing the floor in time to the lilting melodies of the band hired for the occasion, just a distance away from the entrance hall in which she now stood. The murmur of voices, music and the gentle clink of wine glasses intertwined, fingers reaching through the closed, heavy green doors edged with gilded gold to caress her ears and feet. Toph turned to her maid, letting an exasperated groan accompany the rolling of her eyes, evaporating into the lonely atmosphere. 'Well. Here goes.' As an afterthought, she muttered, 'Wish me luck,' prompting Meishi's departure to the servant quarters in the lower levels of the palace.
She turned her attention back to the door as her maid's footsteps faded, lifting her hand imperiously, her palm facing outwards towards the metal doors. On cue, they swung open noiselessly, the impurities in the strong steel yielding to her will, revealing the grandiose space awaiting her. She strode in, her steps purposeful and confident, hands clasped in front of her as the noise faltered for a moment upon the crowd, only the announcer's clear voice audible in the decrescendo of the buzz as her title was proclaimed. People parted on either side of her like waves, the undertones of respectful, almost awe-struck greetings pervading her immediate area. She inclined her head towards those who had bowed, returning them when she encountered someone with a higher rank than her, artfully brushing past one or two people who had attempted to accost her. The Council, she noted, were scattered across the room and eyeing her appearance with grim approval- at least she wouldn't get any grief from them later. As she cut through the majority of the room, the hush that had descended quickly dissipated as the attendees turned to their partners to partake in gossip once more, no doubt centering on her controversial appointment. Only when Toph had reached the head of the long buffet table did she bring her strides to a halt, pausing to ruffle Bosco's furry head.
'Hey there, big guy,' the Commander murmured as Bosco devoured a lizard chicken leg. 'Happy birthday.'
The bear looked up, his moist nose nuzzling into the palm of her callused hand. Toph chuckled at the sudden wetness, guiltily remembering the names she had called him, then let out a yelp of surprise as someone grabbed her from behind, lifting her off her feet. The arms encircled around her waist were slim and lanky, a familiar pulse emanating from his wrist. They bounded across the room, startled nobles hastily moving aside to avoid being bumped and their drinks from spilling; she felt a wide grin cross her face, her panic at the sudden loss of vision giving way to peals of laughter at the mischief they were causing already.
And then he had set her down, her feet comfortably finding lodging with the marble, the tendrils of her nerves becoming excited and transmitting the heartbeats of the group of people she now found herself with upwards, their warmth stifling hot as they gathered around her eagerly in the summer heat of the room. Shouts of joy deafened her sensitive ears in their close proximity, arms and legs entangling, bodies of varying heights enveloping her petite frame, three different heartbeats and another muffled beat she couldn't quite identify puttering away harmoniously, quirkily offbeat and independent of one another.
'Aang! You're choking me!' Toph gasped, pushing ineffectively at the lean arm looped around her neck in a headlock. The young airbender loosened his grip by the tiniest of fractions before Katara pushed him out of the way, wrestling her from Zuko's embrace as his wife stood by, watching the enthusiastic greeting with ironic amusement.
'Stop it, boys, you'll wrinkle her outfit!' she scolded, holding Toph out in front of her at arm's length. Katara swept over her friend's appearance with a critical eye, taking in the well-tailored outfit that provided such a nice complement to the moon in her skin, the discreet brush of make-up stroked lovingly across her features, eventually dissolving into a glowing smile. 'Oh, Toph, you look amazing,' she sighed, reaching out to finger a curl. 'Your outfit really brings out the green in your eyes. You know, you really should dress up more often. Meishi must have put in a lot of effort for tonight. Not that,' Katara hastily amended, 'You don't look beautiful already.'
Toph accepted the compliment with grace, her smile genuine in its longevity as Aang piped in, 'Did you hear, Toph? We're pregnant!'
'So that's what I felt- congratulations, Sugarqueen, Twinkletoes! ' she exclaimed, reaching out to gently probe the slight curve of Katara's stomach. A quiet, faint tremor of a pulse, its origins deep within, met her fingertips. She grabbed Katara into another fierce embrace, punching Aang's shoulder and grinning slyly in his direction as her eyebrows were raised suggestively. 'Well, you guys have been busy! Looks like that lingerie set I got you guys for your wedding worked.'
As Aang and Katara turned scarlet at her deliberate happy wink, Toph turned to the Fire Lord and his Lady, bowing formally to them, which the two royals returned. 'Hello, Commander,' Mai commented, giving her signature faint smile as Zuko bent down to give his friend a one-armed hug. 'Have a drink?'
Toph peered round from the broad expanse of the Fire Lord's shoulders, her face brightening in anticipation. 'Hey, thanks, Sharpy!' A cool glass was pushed into her hand, the smell of some strong alcohol pervading her nostrils as she lifted the drink to her lips. Mai gave the Commander a flicker of a wink she would never spy, moving off to greet (and possibly intimidate) some nobles who had descended upon their group. Toph swallowed the spiked liquid, the sudden rush to her head welcome- she knew only the best, least alcoholic rice wine was being served to avoid offending Aang's teetotalism, and in her opinion, the stuff was beastly and acidic like stomach juices. She and Mai shared a common affection for the use of knives in close combat (she had experimented with her arm band with the dark haired girl before) and hard liquor. Despite more than a year of missed meetings, she was glad that their tradition of sneaking in quality spirits and adding them to unguarded drinks, with hilarious results, had not been discontinued.
Zuko glanced down at her glass, clearly displeased. 'You'd better enjoy that,' he snorted. 'It was meant as a gift to the Earth King.'
The Commander of the Dai Li glanced up at him sharply, nervous, directing her gaze slightly off of his. 'You know? About… this thing?' Her tone was uncertain, the glass rotating absentmindedly in her palm. 'It's harmless, I swear; we've never done anything that's gotten people hurt. It's just for laughs, you know?'
'Well,' Aang hesitated, as if testing the malleability of the earth with trepidation, then plunged on ahead anyway. 'Actually, we all know about it. Don't worry, I'm not offended or anything. We just decided you'd need some of the strong stuff tonight, and since there's only that alcohol you hate so much available and the fact that the only decent beer had been brought by Zuko and Mai...'
The glass stopped its orbit between her hands. Her friends stiffened in response, pre-empting what followed that well-known reflex. Their working eyes focused on the wine glass, the floor beneath their feet, the interesting streamers draped around the pillars, anything but the awakened suspicion that seemed to bore through them through useless eyes.
'What's so special about tonight?'
Her voice was dangerous, suspicion and needles hiding behind a transparent veil of innocence; it was the springing of an unexpected rock from the ground, the formation of a sharp edge from what was once a harmless arm band. She measured their responses; Aang had begun shifting his weight from foot to foot, determinedly bending the mineral water in his cup as if it was the most fascinating thing in the room. Zuko's heartbeat had started racing, his body heat spiking in his formal attire, making him pull at his collar uncomfortably. Katara seemed to teeter on the tips of her toes, balancing precariously before yielding her weight back to gravity.
'Toph,' Katara reached for her hands, masters of water and earth melding by touch. The waterbender's spine seemed to straighten as she took in a breath to steel herself, then collapsed as she sighed, resigned. 'He's coming tonight. We just didn't want you so tense, it's a party, I mean, you should be relaxing-'
Toph wrenched her fingers from Katara's grasp. Her eyes narrowed, a furrow creasing between the penciled eyebrows. Even though she already knew the answer, the words tumbled from her mouth, controlled emotions riding on the thin waver of her voice, ending high. 'Who exactly is coming tonight, Sugarqueen?'
The doors swung open again, pulled open laboriously by servants this time. Someone lumbered into the room, his strides loping, steady and sure. She felt the pump of his blood, the contractions of his muscles, her mind involuntarily piecing in captured fragments to complete the string of heartbeat notes reverberating from him. She turned to face the doors, a compass needle swinging to its pole, prey to the laws of magnetism. Was it just her, or was the crowd thinning in front of her once again, forging a clear path for his bodily beats to run uninterrupted through the ground, speeding straight towards the sensitivities of her feet? Now, only now did she remember- curling of toes inside boots, the transference of heat in a snowfall, the booming bass of his laugh. The smell of meat- that never went away, either. Her ears became deaf to the soft greetings of other nobles, a roaring sound competing with the stunned silence in her head. She brushed off Aang's cautionary hand, one foot in front of the other, closing the miles between them in reality and in her memory.
The thin quaver of the announcer: 'Master Sokka, Ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe.'
She was hurtling towards him at the speed of light, closing the millions of miles between them within a fraction of a second. She was drawn to him, his heart playing her siren's song, the old routine of her pulse adjusting to his lurching back. Half of her mind was blank and numb; the other, urging her to either stop or run back to the safety in the shelter of her friends. Yet her body continued forwards, subtly pushing the crowd away, making her way towards him- she knew, she knew, she remembered. His heart was drums and bells and lodestones, loud, tumultuous and magnetic, the amplitude creating a buzz that rose through her body, mixing with the effects of liquor. She was coasting along the dance floor now, her body suddenly light but aching, a pressure building up behind her eyes as the stains on her mouth melted dry.
They met halfway; she had to blink and brake, digging her heels into the marble to prevent a collision. The nobles and officials seemed to dissolve into thin air, their corporeal conditions muted and fading in comparison to the rush of heat and volume standing before her.
'Toph,' Sokka whispered, a slow smile spreading across his older features like spilt ink across papyrus.
Ship to a lighthouse. Moth to a flame.
Halfway across the ballroom, Mai extracted herself from the eager nobles and sidled up to her husband. Together, they stared at the couple in the middle of the room, Aang and Katara already riveted. 'Now,' she spoke softly, her eyebrows raised, the slow rotation of amber liquid in a glass in her hand catching the light just so. 'This should be interesting.'
A/N: Yes, I'm not dead! I still have 4 exams left, but I had a week's break in between exams, so I managed to piece this together :) Lengthwise, I realise it's a little long, but I just couldn't bear to cut down on her interactions with the Gaang, or her idle musing as she walked to the party. I hope this chapter has been successful in showing a) Toph's alienation from Sokka, b) her newfound duties and attitude as a high-ranking official, and c) the resulting head rush and conflicting feelings Sokka brings, coming back in full force.
I AM SORRY FOR THE VERY BAD (i.e. cliche) ENDING, BUT I LOVE TOKKA AND THERE HAS BEEN TOO LITTLE FLUFF IN HERE. So there.
Apologies also for not replying to every review this fic has gotten- they're all dearly appreciated, and I promise to reply and confirm/dispute your thoughts on what's going on in the story! Once I get more time, that is. D: December 2nd can't come fast enough!
Chapter was inspired by Come Closer- Miles Kane. (I like it. Idk I think it would suit Sokka's entrance here very much.)
Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, subscribed, etc. Please continue to R&R, they are my driving force and motivation. :D All ideas, critiques and so forth are welcome x