Bella's POV

After my last shoot I sit in my car and check my messages. One from Sam saying he really wants to talk and one from Lexi saying Jake wants cheeseburgers and fries for dinner, please bring some home. I'm exhausted and cheeseburgers sound really good. Cheeseburgers and sleep. I don't know what Sam could possibly want to talk about unless he's decided he doesn't want kids and he's not bothered by the fact I think Jake loves Lexi more than he does.

I just don't want Lexi to get hurt. But I think I'm probably the one that's going to end up hurting her. I was so afraid Sam was going to walk out on us and I walked out on him. Literally, I walked right out the door to Jake.

I know he loves Lexi but I can't be sure he will love her just as much as he would he own child. But then why am I so sure that Jake would? Jake has always been there for her. But Sam has been so great in the short time he's been in our lives; I know he would never hurt her. My head hurts.

I pick up dinner and when I get to Jake's Lexi is going on and on about seeing Sam and taking him lunch. I want to be mad but I did say fine. They didn't have to be nice enough to take him lunch though. Lexi's idea I'm sure.

"Sam said he would always love both of us mommy even though you are mad at him." And she looks so happy. "He looked sad mommy, you shouldn't be mad at him anymore. I think he's sorry for whatever he did."

"Oh Lex, Sam didn't do anything. This is all my fault. But I don't know if I can fix it baby." I don't want her to think he did anything. "But even if I can't work things out with him I'm sure he would love to still see you."

"No! You have to make it right mommy! You love him! You smile more when you are with him!" She's yelling at me and I snap.

"Dammit Lexi! He wants kids and if he has his own kids he might love them more than you!" And I instantly feel like the worst mother in the world and Jake is looking at me like I'm the worst mother world in the world but Lexi is just staring at me like I'm an idiot. I get that a lot lately.

"You're wrong mommy. Love doesn't work like that. Sam loves me just as much as you and Jake and Grandpa and Leah do and nothing will change that. And if he loves me as much as you do he can't ever love anyone more. I can see it in his eyes and his smile." Then she hugs me. I scream at her and tell her she might not be that important to someone she adores and she's comforting me.

"I'm so sorry Lexi, I should haven't have said that. But you're right about Sam baby. He does love you just as much as I do. I just didn't want to admit it because when someone loves you that much and you love them that much it's easy to hurt each other." I'm holding her and crying all over her.

"I'm sorry Jake." I tell him because I know he's pissed. He should be. But he just hugs me and tells me he has no right to be mad if Lexi's not.

"Mommy did you tell Sam that? What you told me?" She's quick.

"Yes."

"Then why are you mad at him but he's not mad at you?" That's a very good question and I have absolutely no answer.

"You should eat your cheeseburger and go tell him you're sorry." She tells me looking at me with those big brown eyes.

"We have to go home baby. I'll call him OK?"

"I'll keep her tonight; I'll take her to school tomorrow." Jake offers.

"Fine, but I'm not going until after you're in bed." I tell Lexi and we sit down to eat.

Soon its bedtime and I'm not ready to see him yet.

"Go Bella." Jake practically orders me out of the house.

"I'll go Jake. But first I want to say how sorry I am again for what I said. She should hate me! I'm a horrible mother." I'm crying again.

"That was a terrible thing to tell her but you're emotional and tired and she's seriously over it. You're a great mom Bella. Everyone makes mistakes. Just don't do it again." He pushes me out the door.

The whole way to his house I go between thinking I should turn around and hoping he's just not home. But I get there and of course he is home. I slowly get out of the car and slowly walk to the door and before I can knock he opens the door.

"Sam," I don't know what to say.

"Come in." And he holds his hand out for me.

"You left the ring on." He says as he holds up my hand. I never thought about taking it off.

"Do you want it back?" I ask him trying not to cry.

"Don't cry Bella, I don't want it back. But we have a lot to talk about." He leads me to the couch and sits down never letting go of my hand.

"I'm so sorry for I said about you loving your own kids more than Lexi; I know it's not true. I think I always knew but it's hard to let go of something that I decided a long time ago. Long before you, before Lexi was even born. It actually took Lexi telling me she knows how much you love her to see how stupid I was being."

"So you don't think I will love the kids we have together more than Lexi?" He asks cautiously.

"I know you won't." I assure him.

"Well other than that issue do you even want more kids?" He asks and I laugh because I've never even thought about it.

"I think I would love to have babies with you Sam. Lexi would love to be a big sister too."

"Did Jake tell you what I said about him being more important to you?" I wasn't even going to bring that up.

"I read the texts. And I promise you that's not true. I love Jake and I always will. But he's not more important and I don't love him more than I love you. But I won't change anything about our relationship either."

"I love you Bella and I trust you completely. I'm glad you have Jake to be there for you and Lexi."

"I love you too Sam."

"I will never leave you and Lexi."

"I know. But I want you to promise me this. If something happens and we do break up or I die or whatever you will always be in her life."

"I promise."