Lexi's POV

My mom died two years ago today. Carter and Mia and I stayed home from school and Jake stayed home from work just like last year and we're going to their favorite restaurant and then to visit her grave. Jake talked me into inviting Sam but he didn't want to come but asked me to bring Del. She is the sweetest baby ever. I tried so hard to hate her but she's just too freaking cute.

I still live with Jake and I still do my required weekly dinner with Sam. Dad as I call him to his face. I don't really even blame him anymore but we've grown so far apart I don't know how to get back to where we were. I'm almost 18, it's not like I need him anymore.

As soon as I graduate I'm going to restart my mom's photography business. The name is still registered and I'm sure I can work with some of her old client lists. My boyfriend, Braden is going to college but only an hour away. Once my business is running well we will get married. I don't want kids. I was abandoned by Marcus and in a way by my mom. Not good odds.

We get to the restaurant and I order the same thing I always do but it's disgusting. So bad I actually end up puking in the bathroom. Now that I think about it I've been puking a lot.

"Jake I think I'm sick. I've been throwing up every morning for the last few days and I'm exhausted and this food is disgusting." I tell him when I get back to the table.

"Oh shit Lexi, have you had your period? Please tell me you and Braden use protection." Did he seriously just ask me about my period? Awkward. He's flipping out.

"We do!" But there was that one time… Oh shit, I get the flipping out! Am I late? Yes…

"Oh my God Jake! What the hell am I going to do?" He tells me to stop flipping out even though he started it. On the way home we pick up a pregnancy test and I wait for Leah. I pee on the little stick and wait 3 minutes and make Leah look.

"It's positive Lexi." She's completely emotionless and it's pretty scary.

"You really are just like your mother." Jake says and Leah smacks him.

I'm standing there just trying to process when I burst into tears and suddenly all I want is Sam. Del starts crying as soon as I do and I run out and take off. Half way to Sam's I call and check on her and she's fine. My two year old sister is going to be an aunt. That's messed up.

I sit in the car for a long time and finally he comes out to me.

"What's wrong Lexi?" He looks so concerned and I know he's going to be so disappointed in me.

"Daddy, I'm pregnant." He pulls me out of my car and hugs me and I feel so bad for treating him like crap for the last two years. "I'm so sorry Daddy for this and for being mean to you. I need you. I don't know what to do."

"Lexi, I can't tell you what to do but I promise you whatever you chose I will support you and be there for you however I can."

"I can't give my baby up. But what if Braden walks out on me like Marcus did my mom?"

"Then you will live here with me and we will make it work. I love you Lexi, it's going to be OK." And I believe him.

Jake brings Carter and Del back later and Mia is going to spend the night. Her and my brother are practically inseparable. As soon as I make sure Sam, Dad, is OK with all of them I go talk to Braden.

He takes it pretty well. He still wants to go to college and we both agree that's the best choice. It's only an hour away; he can come back on the weekends and holidays. I can still start mom's business back up. Mom did it from scratch in the exact same situation. We talk about marriage but decide it would be weird to get married and not live together.

So over the next few weeks I move back in with my dad, he has more room and we need each other. I feel so bad for leaving him with Carter and Del for the last two years.

I graduate high school one month after I find out I'm pregnant. As much as I wish my mom was here I know I'm lucky to have so many people there who love me. Braden and I spend the summer together picking out baby names and painting the room. I'm having a girl and I'm so excited but scared. I put my parents through hell and I know this is payback.

Her name will be Isabella but we will call her Izzy instead of Bella.

Braden leaves for college I throw myself into taking care of Carter, Mia and Del. I decided to put the photography on hold until after she is born because taking a break when I just started didn't make sense.

My dad is actually really excited for his first grandchild. She's going to be so spoiled.

And I finally understand why my mom picked Del over treatment. From the second Leah told me it's positive I knew giving her up wasn't an option. I miss my mom so much but I love Del just as much. I do hope when she gets older she demands to be called Delilah though. That decision I will never understand.

A month before my due date my dad gives me my next letter.

Lexi,

In a month give or take a few days or weeks you're going to be a mother. I hope now you can finally understand my decision but if not you will as soon as you hold him or her in your arms. I hope it's a girl so she can give you hell! People tell you the newborn years are the hardest but they're wrong. The newborn years are the easiest. All you have to do is feed, change and hold your baby. Yes, you will be exhausted but all you have to do is look at that sweet face and it's all worth it. The hard part comes with the temper tantrums and attitude and not knowing what your screaming baby wants. And the very hardest part is letting go. Your first day of school was terrible! Jake took you because I was crying too hard to drive. But it is still all worth it. Don't ever be afraid to ask for help. If you ever have to be you can be everything your baby needs but that doesn't mean you should be just because. Don't be afraid to let people in. Kiss Carter and Del and Daddy and Jake for me. And kiss the baby for me. I love you so much Lexi.

Mom

I'm crying hard I can barely breathe when Del comes up and pokes my stomach and says baby. And she's just so cute that crying turns to laughing and I'm so happy in this moment. I miss my mom so much but I know she wouldn't want us sitting around being sad for her.

"Come on Del, let's find Carter and Mia and go to the park." And she runs off yelling Car! Mia! Park!

And I just keep laughing.