Broken road
Natsuki Subaru heard the shatter of crystal. The sound screamed out from behind and he quickly sought after the location of his allies.
"Beako?"
Perhaps some danger had already knocked against the door and she was dealing with it. With such a prudent outlook, he rushed towards danger with naught but a knife in his hand. What he found was completely different from what he had hoped, however.
Standing tiny yet powerful, his dear Beatrice was pointing her magical prowess towards his dear Rem.
"Rem isn't there when I use Cor Leonis." That coldly calculated thought felt distinct from himself.
Between them was the dust of the purple crystal surely produced by Beako's minya.
The perplexing situation shocked his feet, but he moved when he noticed just how unarmed and twisted Rem's expression was.
"Beako! What are you doing?! What is going on here?"
"Ah," her voice broke into a gasp. Her shoulders quivered and she gave a sniffle, yet her eyes were kept steady on Rem. "Stay away from here, in fact! Get back, Subaru. Betty won't allow you to be hurt."
"What are you even talking about? Is there some hidden danger or something else that I can't see?"
"The only hidden danger here is that girl in front. The only thing you can't see is her malice, in fact."
A wild gust of wind forced him back. Along with it came a sensation which made his hair stand up and ran goosebumps along his skin. However, this particular sense of bloodlust did not emanate from Beako.
"Let me ask: Did your dear Rem ever hate you?"
The question banged dulled inside his head and his eyes were brought towards the unarmed girl still dressed in plain clothes. The blue hair now stood like a testament to all the blood he had been made to shed and the glint in her eyes brought back experiences which pained his heart into oblivion.
Rem had no weapons and showed no stance to strike, but the spirit emanating from her would push even a veteran soldier back.
"Rem?"
His blurted word was met by a snarl and her beautiful eyes were now foreign towards him.
"You!" It was only Beako who responded with her own hostility.
"Stop, Beako!" He called out.
"No way in hell, I suppose! Can't you see what this girl means to do to you?!"
"She means to do nothing!"
"Ha," Beatrice scoffed at his statement and continued, "Are you blind, in fact? This girl came here to kill you."
That one word grabbed all the air out of him. He looked at the hostility on Rem's face in complete shock and though he could not place a finger on the strange conflict written there, Subaru still would not believe that Rem would just straight up kill him.
"But it has happened before. Has Rem remembered those loops? But still, doesn't she know who I am? Why does she look exactly like that same Rem from those bloody loops? What happened to all the time we spent in Vollachia?!"
Roswaal's logic from before came bouncing back to him in an irritating manner. He could see that shrewd Margrave saying, "I told you so."
"Beatrice," he called out to her in a seriously commanding tone. "She is not going to kill me, okay? Put away your magic and let's talk like civilized people."
"Talk like civilized people. Ha ha ha, in fact. This animal won't ever talk like a normal person!"
"Beatrice!" The anger bubbling within him jostled the little girl's body, and yet she would not move.
"T-This animal has already killed you, I suppose."
"...Shit." That one sentence explained what his dear spirit had seen better than any other explanation.
"Alright, so, let's, um, take account of the entire situation, Natsuki Subaru. Beatrice has seen one of the loops where Rem kills me. Is it the one where she tortured me out in the forest? Or the one in the hallway? Considering Beatrice always stayed in her library, I would think it's the hallway one. Shit. And what about Rem? Is it the one in the hallway for her as well?"
"-I suppose."
"Huh?" He had become so distant in his own thoughts that he did not hear much of anything Beako had been saying to him.
In that moment of weakness, Beatrice turned her neck back at him and showed him the startled despair in her eyes. He did not understand why or what or anything, but the girl possibly looking to kill him instantly moved for action.
A simple stomp led a wooden plank to rupture and break. The farthest end flew up from underneath with a violent crack of wood and formed a partition between himself and Beatrice.
Rem sprinted to the side closest to the wall and closest to him, and he watched in shock as a purple crystal meant to kill flew past Rem's head and shattered on the ceiling instead.
His mind was a complete blank at the fact that his dear Beako, a person who knew his feelings for Rem, would be willing to strike her dead.
"No, Subaru!"
He did not even comprehend how much distance Rem had closed between them. But when she reached out her hand, he saw both helplessness and bloodlust written across her face.
Before her fingers could brush his face, a figure about the same size and shape as Rem tackled her from the side.
"Gh!" Rem's body toppled off balance and she hit the wall hard against her shoulder. Then the pink-haired savior yelled, "What the hell are you thinking, Rem?!"
Subaru backed away and Beatrice was once again in front of him.
"Nee-sama?" Rem said.
"Do you have any idea what you are even doing? Do you have any idea what you–what we have done?!"
Ram's dry and warped face was more than just reprimanding.
"But he…he's the one.." Rem pointed at him and mustered out her previous hostility.
"Stop it! Just stop it already! Don't add to the already irredeemable actions we have made. How hard is it to just sit down and listen for once?!"
"Nee-sama, your fingers are hurting me. Ouch!"
Brought by the pain in her voice, Subaru looked down at her arms. Nee-sama was clutching both of them so tight that her nails were digging out blood.
"R-Ram, let's stop it right–" He tried to take a step forward, but the step was denied by his protective spirit.
"Think, think, think. Think, Natsuki Subaru." He wanted to hide away in his own thought bubble, away from this place and away from his own inner need to make sure everyone was okay.
"Do you have any idea what we have done?" Ram's voice dropped a few decibels. Rem's face on the other hand was twisted into shock, and tears were emerging from the corner of her eyes.
Despite the fact that this person had just tried to possibly kill him, Subaru's heart ached at that sight. For someone who had lost all her memories, how large would the impact have been when she remembered years worth of experiences and emotions? Or at least that was the conclusion he came to.
"Nee-sama, h-he has a…knife," Rem muttered out. He quickly realized how hard he had been clutching onto the knife that he had previously planned to kill himself with, then hid it behind himself, albeit a bit late. Beako's eyes had already seen it, and her trembling facial features spoke tales about what kind of a conclusion she had made in her mind.
Meanwhile, Ram looked at her sister in disbelief and then let out a large scoff. "A big knife he no doubt took from the kitchen. Please do not tell me that this is your excuse!"
"That's right, I suppose!" Beako added. "Your sister here came to kill my contractor, in fact. In the middle of the night, when no one would see it, this girl was going to kill him. Or I suppose she would torture him first, right?!"
Ram did not even try to meet Beako's eyes, and completely avoided turning her face towards him.
"He…smells like a," Rem looked at him with that same glint of grief and hatred as before, and continued with that same spiteful word, "Cultist."
It did bring him an uncomfortable level of rage. But what shocked the tense atmosphere was the resounding clap of a slap.
It wasn't delivered by his intensely angered Beako, but by Rem's own family.
"How could you even think that he's the same as them? Are you truly the Rem that I know?" Ram held her own hand as if it hurt and spoke those words not with anger, but with grief.
Though Rem had been slapped by her own sister, she feigned away the shock received and said, "But you were there too, Nee-sama. You were with me in that forest."
"I see. So she did see the forest dream. And I guess from Nee-sama's reaction, she also saw it too. What about Beako?" Some of the broken pieces were slowly forming a better picture. This cold calculation felt oddly discomforting, but he ignored it for now.
Rem continued, "You supported my decision then! You even cut his leg off!"
"What did you just say, I suppose?" Beako's cold voice chilled him as much as her renewed magical charge did. "The hallway wasn't enough, so you did it again, in fact! This irredeemable animal. How could you even live under the same roof as us, I suppose?!"
"Beatrice!" His angered yell startled her again and made her whimper a little.
"Wait, that time we were," Ram said, then looked fearfully at him. In her eyes was an avoidance unlike what the prideful Nee-sama would usually show. With her face pale, forehead covered in sweat, Nee-sama raised one hand towards him and continued, "We did not know you. Both of us were always on caution after what happened at the village."
"Village? Both of us? If Rem remembered all of those years, then could it be that Ram has remembered Rem?!"
"There is no way you can justify what you did, in fact!"
"Hah. Beatrice-sama, respectfully, you don't have much right to speak about a past where you didn't even try to help." The ridicule and sharp tongue came back to Ram, and it visibly shook Beatrice.
But then Ram stopped and muttered, "Hallway? R-Rem, what did you do in this hallway? Tell me!"
"Nothing. I don't even know what hallway you are talking about. Don't you remember, Nee-sama? We were in the forest, chasing him down. But before I removed this threat, uh, it all stopped. So now there is no choice but to finish the job."
"Betty is going to show no mercy if you take a single step forward, I suppose."
Those words seemed to go over Rem's head. Instead her shoulders dropped and her face twisted into one of confusion.
"Huh? But the forest was a long time ago. What happened after? But then, what about Vollachia, and Louis, and Baka-Baru?" The tone and decibel of Rem's voice changed, almost like she had suddenly turned into an altogether different person. "Ouch! My head hurts! My forehead hurts. It burns. What was I doing? Why was I doing it? Just who am I?"
The blatant confusion and pain stopped everyone, but Subaru used this as his opportunity.
"Let's all calm down, okay? Look at Rem. She's in such pain and we are all fighting amongst ourselves. None of you here have the right information to make a proper conclusion. So let's sit down and talk."
A snarl came from Rem and she pushed her sister away. "Talk, talk, talk. Talk? That's all you say. That's all you ever say. Everytime it's just a ruse to delay the inevitable truth."
Rem went into an offensive position, Beatrice readied her magic, and Ram pulled out her wand. In a simple moment, the tense atmosphere returned and choked the air out of his throat.
"You're the threat," Rem continued, "You're the danger. Once I get rid of that then Rem can think again. That is the truth that I–"
"-Hiyaa!" A sudden war cry broke the tension and the curve of a beautiful leg kicked the back of Rem's head. Her eyes rolled up into whites and she collapsed into Ram's hands.
Standing there in her place was the silver-haired half-elf, Emilia-tan.
"Sorry!" She immediately apologized and joined her hands together. "I just thought that this was the best thing to do in this situation, you know? So, um, I knocked her out pretty bad, but she should be fine."
"I guess that works," he spoke out with a sigh, and it brought to him her complete attention.
"Subaru," she joined her hands together, near her belly, and spoke out in a relieved tone.
"Uh, yes, that's my name, Emilia-tan. I sure am glad you came here."
"Subaru!"
"Ueh?"
"Subaru! Subaru? Subaru?!"
"What the-? Emilia?"
She drew closer, one step at a time, then profusely rubbed her eyes and called out in a meltingly sweet voice, "Subaru."
She leapt atop him before he even knew it. Her innate strength pushed him down to the cold floor and her hands wrapped around him in an excruciatingly tight embrace. Well, there was also the fact that she was dressed in her light nightdress, which created multiple issues on multiple ends.
But with her face to his nape, what she whimpered next took away every bit of excitement his body and mind felt.
"You're alive! You're alive. Thank goodness. I am so happy. You're real and alive. I can feel that you're actually here. I thought you had died. I thought I had died. It was so painful. My belly burned and everything was coming out, and then…and then…." Her words turned into wails.
"Shit," looking at the ceiling, that was the only word which he could whisper.
After a while he hesitatingly patted her head, fully understanding the most probable loop she had just experienced. That beginning brought the scent of nostalgia, but now wasn't the time for it.
"Is Rem alright?"
"Can't believe this, in fact," Beako replied to his concern. "At least you'll agree to binding that girl? After what she did, there is no way that Betty can be at peace if she isn't in chains."
"Come on now, Beako."
"No, in fact. Betty won't relent on this matter. With how selfish you can be at times, Betty thinks she has the right to this, I suppose."
"I think Beatrice is right, Subaru."
"Emilia-tan?" He was astounded that Emilia-tan of all people would agree to bind a clearly traumatized girl. What were they seeing that he could not? Didn't Rem appear to them like a girl who needed saving?
"I don't know the complete situation, but I think it will give all of us a break if we didn't have to constantly be on the guard."
He swallowed that pill, and looked at Ram.
Clutched onto her unconscious sister, Ram looked back at him with both a plea and an acceptance on her face.
"Are you alright with this, Nee-sama?"
She flinched at his way of calling and lowered her eyes. "If that's what is truly necessary," she said.
"It is necessary, in fact. That girl isn't even willing to listen to reason. This isn't a monarchy, Subaru. The vote has been cast, in fact."
"Tch. Goddammit, Beako," his nerves were constantly being irritated. "Fine. Maybe that will get her to listen when she wakes up. Emilia, please make the bindings gentle."
"Don't worry, Subaru. Despite what she was about to do to you, I don't think Rem is a bad girl," she said.
"If you had seen what Betty has then you'll be singing a different tone."
Emilia manufactured some sort of a binding with her fire magic, and clasped those cold chains around Rem's wrists and feet.
"She should not be able to break free unless she uses all of her strength, maybe even more than that. Uh, maybe?"
"Are you sure about it or are you not, in fact?! Do I have to use what little mana I have and solidify some Shamack? It's brutal, but she deserves it, in fact."
"Beatrice," he called out in an overly tired tone and she stopped.
"I'll ask some of the minor spirits to survey her," Emilia chirped in.
"I'll be staying with her," Ram said, carrying Rem on her shoulders. "I'll make sure to talk to her, to make her understand, and to make her apologize what she–what we did."
"Wait, Nee-sama," he called out, but she kept walking away. "At least come with us and listen to me. There is so much to talk about, you know?"
"Indeed, Subaru. There is a lot to talk about, in fact. But the ones you need to give an explanation to are Betty and Emilia, I suppose."
"I agree," Emilia said.
He could see that they weren't rebuking him.
"By the way, Subaru."
"What?"
"Why are you carrying around a kitchen knife?"
"...Shit."
#
The steaming cup was lovingly brought to Natsuki Subaru's mouth. The bitter taste of black coffee was at least sweetened by the hand that brought it.
"Is it too hot?"
"Of course not. The temperature produced by my dear Emilia-tan is absolutely perfect."
"Is it tasty? It's not bad, is it?"
"How could it ever be bad when the hand serving it is so pretty?"
"Are you sure it's all fine? Surely?"
"Yes."
"Absolutely sure?"
"Yes."
"Really? You're not lying, are you?"
"Yes. I meant no! No, I am not lying."
"Uhh. You said yes."
"Oh my god."
Emilia-tan was glued close to him, and his every word seemed to matter a little too much to her. His seat was constantly invaded as she pushed herself closer to him, while time flew by in this small talk.
But the other person in the room was getting increasingly impatient.
"Grr! Stop this, in fact!" A slam of Beatrice's little palms on the table left her own hands in pain. "Schedule this flirting for some other time, I suppose!"
"Eh?" Emilia-tan adorably cocked her head. "Flirting? But aren't we just talking?"
"You don't seem to understand at all, I suppose. This here is what we call the traditional method of Natsuki Subaru prolonging the main issue. And he's able to easily recruit your clumsy contribution into it."
Emilia-tan gasped, then said, "Is that true?! Have you been fooling me, Subaru?"
"Absolutely not!"
"He said absolutely not, Beatrice. I don't think he's lying."
"Grhhaa, in fact! My head is about to blow into smithereens. We're here to talk about these memories, not to waste our time drinking coffee and waiting for night to end. Talk, Subaru. You know that you need to at this point. There is no circling around the situation anymore, in fact. We are remembering lost events, experiencing them in all sorts of painful manner."
Emilia-tan clutched her stomach again, and it gave him the painful urge to vomit.
"You can't say that it's not real, I suppose. Betty knows, Emilia knows, and everyone else now know that this has to be real, in fact. What caused it, why it happened, and what it actually means is something we can only know if you tell us, I suppose."
His lips trembled, eyebrows shook, and his throat was uncomfortably dry. Being confronted head-on was inevitable, but it was not what he wanted to deal with right now.
Sipping coffee and wasting time with Emilia, Subaru had thought about different scenarios, muddled over different words, and visualized different reactions. He had hoped that all three would fall asleep before the rise of dawn, but had forgotten that one of them was a half-elf while the other a Great Spirit.
"We are not leaving until you tell us what it is, Subaru," Emilia-tan said. "Please, you have to give us a satisfying answer. I completely believe in you, but I can't continue like this."
His recent inner thought bubbles came back to him. In those he had simulated how the scenario would go based on his answers. Scenarios of how he could go about giving them an explanation.
Scenario one:
Subaru: Uh, um, so you see, I am actually a Zombie.
Beatrice: What?! A z-zombie, in fact?!
Subaru: Yeaah, that's right. I died a while back, but came back due to some reason. Yup, I am a certified zombie.
Beatrice: I see, I suppose. That sure explains how you are alive. It must have been that immortal king spell.
Subaru: Oh yeah! That was it! Yup. As expected of my–
Beatrice: So do you really think Betty would bite into that logic, I suppose?!
Subaru: Eh?!
Beatrice: It sure explains how healthy you look, doesn't it?
Subaru: Uh, that is, um–it's a special type of spe–
Beatrice: Sure explains how we lost these memories of you dying, huh?
Subaru: A-A side effect! A side effect of the zombification.
Beatrice: Subaru, please stop embarrassing yourself, in fact.
Subaru: Alright.
Scenario two:
Subaru: I have a drug empire.
Beatrice: What?!
Subaru: Yeah, that's right. They call me Heisenberg or something.
Beatrice: This isn't even related to the main issue, in fact! But hold up, I suppose. You're Heisenberg? You've been Heisenberg this entire time?! B-Betty has to call the DEA.
Subaru shook his head and shook all of those stupid scenarios away. Having come back to reality, with the expectant gazes of Beatrice and Emilia-tan on him, he could only say, "Shit."
"Shit, in fact?! That's the only thing you can say in this situation, I suppose? After all this goddamn time–"
"Ah, language, Beatrice," Emilia-tan cut in with a serious point of her finger.
"Wha-? Didn't you hear what he just said, I suppose? He said shit–"
"Bad!"
"Grrr, I suppose!"
While the two were preoccupied in their adorable back-and-forth, he stood up and went to the window.
The window pane had been pulled open, and the outsides brought with it a mixture of cool wind and the growing light of dawn. He noticed a small bird sitting and walking around on the outside railing. The spotted brown-colored creature looked inside expectantly.
Emilia-tan and Beatrice's gaze were on his back, and his eyes set to the clear sky above.
The tense yet humorous atmosphere brought something out within him and so he gave it voice.
"Every night in my dreams. I see you, I feel you. That is how I know you go on~!"
"Wow! What a nice song, Subaru. Though I do not understand a word of what you're saying!"
"Stop singing, I suppose! And you, Emilia! Don't fall for his tricks, I suppose."
"Dammit."
He leaned his back against the window, and offered a finger for the bird to lightly nibble on.
"How do I even start?" He spoke out.
"Subaru," Emilia-tan said with eyes lowered. "It hurt. It hurt a lot, Subaru."
"..." Her voice had such pain in it that he could no longer joke around. Even Beako folded her arms and listened in respect.
"But it was all my fault!"
"No, Emilia-tan. What happened at the loot house wasn't your fault."
"I let you go in there, all alone and without any protection. We should have turned back that day, but we kept going because of me. After that, you, Subaru, you…"
"Oh, Emilia," he got closer and gently held her hands.
She sniffled and said, "You were attacked and I also went in. I heard you say something, but it was all too late. The assassin was Elsa, right?"
He nodded.
"She really goes after the belly. It was really painful, and it burned even more than that. Puck wasn't there and I could not use my od to call him out in time. The other spirits couldn't help me and then my body started to become all numb. I was alone and scared and cold and dying, and there was no one there to save me."
Pristine drops of her tears fell to the floor and his own heart ached along with each drop. But then she looked up at him with eyes filled with tears yet without any despair or fear.
"But you were there, Subaru!"
"Huh? Me? No, I didn't do-"
"You held my hand while we were there dying together. Your hand was so warm. It was warmer than the cut on my belly and all the fear I had just went away with it. I heard the words you said, Subaru. I truly did, and I tried to smile and say something back, but then it all went dark. But you being there was everything. You being with me and holding my hand as I died was everything I could ever ask for. That's why, Subaru."
"..."
"Thank you," she smiled through her tears. "Thank you for simply being by my side. I am super sorry that it all happened like this, but I don't regret remembering any of it."
"Oh, man. I really love this girl. Goddammit."
She didn't resist when he brushed her tears away with his fingers and then it was Beako's turn to speak.
"Ahem, well, I am sorry to hear you went through that, Emilia. I think your spirit is quite commendable, in fact. You can accept Betty's praise that she gave in sincerity, I suppose."
"Aww! Thank you, Beatrice!" Emilia-tan skiddled over and grasped her in an easy hug.
"Let go, I suppose! Alright. I understand, in fact. So just let me down, I suppose!"
After the struggling spirit was let down, she coughed to set the tone and started, "First I have to say that I still don't understand what it means for Emilia and my contractor to have died. It doesn't make sense, in fact. It's clearly not immortal king, nor any other kind of magic, as far as Betty knows. The only thing Betty can think of is that it's the use of a powerful authority."
She looked at him, and Emilia-tan mirrored that word.
"Betty will tell you what she saw. The first dream was an experience about the first few days you spent in this mansion, Subaru. But it was fairly different from the memories that Betty knew. You were cursed by the witch beast in the end, but you didn't know about it at all. I-I met you in the library last night and, uh….."
"Oh," he understood what loop it was and also understood what was causing so much pain on her small face.
"I pushed you out rudely…then the dream ended, in fact."
"Hmm?" Emilia said. "That witch beast's curse? Didn't Beatrice take care of it the first time? After which Subau went and got bitten all over again. Then Ram and Subaru went to the forest, and Roswaal saved Subaru in the end."
Her innocent statement caused Beako to flinch.
"Yeah, Beako would have known about the curse. But it's not her fault. We were basically strangers and in this world it is hard to find people who would selfishly help someone else."
"The second dream was…uh," her voice croaked like shattered glass. Her left hand clasped tightly onto her trembling right arm, while her eyes would not look anywhere except for the ground.
Emilia-tan gave him a look of concern.
"Beako, look, if you really can't say it right now then–"
"It happened when you were all at the sanctuary. Subaru came back earlier than he did in my previous memories, then the assassin attacked and–"
"I know. I know the loop you're talking about, Beako."
"You know? Of course you know. The loop? What is that, in fact?"
"..."
"Please stop hiding it, in fact!" She desperately pushed forwards. "Tell me what you mean by that word. It's too much if you stay quiet and unavailable like this."
"A loop is what I use to describe those events you just talked about," he reluctantly informed.
"And you have gone through multiple sets of these loops, in fact?"
"Yeah."
"How many, I suppose?"
"I, uh, before Vollachia I might have been able to give a number, but now an approximate guess would surpass the hundreth margin."
"More than a hundred, I suppose? You mean to say that there are more than a hundred instances of memories that are for some reason not available to us, but are always present for you? Then what's the exact reason these loops come to an end, in fact?"
"..."
"Why do they come to an end?! Why do we forget, I suppose?! Why do you remember, in fact?! How long do they go and why? Who decided to make us all forget? Who decided to make us all remember? Why haven't you told us about it, I suppose?! Why didn't you tell your dear Beako about it? Why don't you trust me enough for this? Say something!"
Emilia-tan held her back and softly whispered, "Beatrice. Take it slow. Take some deep breaths and calm down, okay?"
"I am calm, in fact."
"Eh? Really? You don't look calm at all!"
"Thank god for their close relationship. I have to thank Emilia-tan later."
"Subaru, in fact."
"...Yeah."
"What can you tell us, I suppose?"
The bird on the outside railing chirped and squeaked, then a patient silence allowed him the chance to try.
"The reason why these loops exist, why all of you don't remember, and why I could not tell you is because of one thing." Putting a hand on his chest, he took the deepest breath in his entire life. "I can….I can re…return. I-I can." His throat hurt. "I return….by, uh. By…it." His head throbbed. "Because I always return. And I always return by–!"
Words slowly disappeared from his head. All that was left was emotion alone. There were no signs that the punishment would come. There was no proof that he could not speak those forbidden words, and yet he could not force them out.
His psychological restraints prevailed over reality, while saying it would be a tarnish on the bond he shared with that witch. Was she alright with this? If he said it now, would she come back to punish him and all of them later?
Emilia's lifeless corpse, the crushing of his heart, and the shadow-covered sanctuary were all the proof he needed to not say those words.
"I can't say it."
"Why?! Is it because you don't trust us, in fact?"
"It's not because of that, Beako! Listen to me completely, please."
"Umuu, in fact."
"Considering that you're all remembering this with or without my permission, I would be willing to share the exact words. Yeah, I'll admit that even I am not sure if I want all of you to know everything that I know, but that's because of my own personal reasons which would require a ten page essay to explain. For now, the reason why I can't say it is not because I don't want to, but because I can't."
"You can't?" Emilia-tan asked.
"You remember how you mentioned authorities, Beako? Yeah, I'll admit that this is the product of an authority."
Beatrice's eyes opened wide in awe. "Such a powerful authority, in fact? It's not like Betty ever underestimated her contractor, but could you actually be a God, I suppose?!"
"Um," Emilia-tan raised her hand, then said with a smile, "What's an authority?"
Subaru facepalmed. Beatrice facepalmed. In addition, it almost appeared like that small bird slammed its face on the railing to copy their behaviors.
"You know the sin-archbishops and their strange powers?" He said.
"Mhm. Like gluttony, for example."
"Yeah, those powers are essentially what we are calling authorities right now."
"I see. Hmm? Wait a second," after a few moments of futile deliberation, Emilia's eyes opened in shock and she exclaimed, "This can't be!"
"W-What?"
"If you can use authorities as well, then wouldn't this mean-? No! I will not believe it! I will never believe this!" Stretching her arms down, she stomped her feet on the ground.
"Calm down, Emilia-tan. It doesn't have to be that only the sin-archbishops can use authorities. Think about the witches and their strange powers."
"Oh! Wait a second," this time Emilia-tan covered her mouth with a palm and looked side to side. "Does this mean that Subaru is a witch? Wait, a male witch? What's a male witch called?"
"Oh my god."
"Oh my god, I suppose."
There was only so much that one could do to get through the clumsy brain of Emilia-tan.
Having given up, Beatrice started, "Is this authority all yours, Subaru? You're using such a powerful authority by yourself, I suppose?"
"Um, well, not exactly. My power alone is not enough. Let's just say that I have a partner."
"Partner," Beatrice narrowed her eyes and he felt an odd shiver prick his skin.
"Ahem! Due to conditions being conditions, I can't exactly say the secret out loud….or so I think. I have never been allowed to share my secret and I don't know if the same condition applies right now."
"But now your secret is coming out, isn't it?" Emilia-tan said. "So maybe it's fine to say it out loud. Your partner, bless their heart, might have decided to allow you to say it!"
"I don't know that for sure, Emilia-tan. What I do know is that something outrageous might happen if I were to say the words out loud."
"That is troubling."
"It is."
"But if that's the case then I won't force you to say it, Subaru," Emilia-tan graced his heart with another smile. "I truly believe in you. If you can't say it then that's fine. I don't believe that my dear knight would purposely hide something like this from us."
"...Yeah. I believe in all of you too."
"You believe in Betty, in fact?" Beako crossed her arms together. "If you truly believe in Betty then you should side with her when it comes to that girl."
"Tch. Not again, Beako."
"That girl tried to kill you, in fact! No matter how you look at it, this is indefensible."
"Rem was just lost, okay? She's got no idea of what's going on and she's grieving."
"So that justifies her behavior, in fact? What is wrong with you, Subaru? I know what kind of a past trauma that girl went through, but it does not justify what she did! Why can't you understand that, in fact?"
"It's you who doesn't understand. Back then, Rem and I were just strangers to each other."
"So it's fine for a stranger to kill you as long as they have some good reason to do so?"
"No, that's not what I am saying!" His body was burning and his frustration was throbbing in his head.
Emilia-tan tried to cut in. "E-Everyone, let's just all calm down and take a step back."
"Be quiet for now, in fact. Let me tell you the truth that Betty saw, I suppose. In tonight's dream, Subaru was cursed again, in fact. This time this idiot waited for his own death. He tried to face it head-on, I suppose. Not knowing what it was, he ended up walking the hallway as he started dying."
Emilia-tan came next to him and softly, without a word, placed her head against his arm.
"And then came that girl," the grit of her teeth was animalistic in his eyes. "That girl didn't just put you out of your misery, Subaru. That girl butchered you!"
"She did not, Beako. I went there without knowing anything, then she thought I was an intruder and…did what she did."
"Oh, really, in fact? So we dismember the arm of every dying intruder we see, I suppose?"
"-Shit. That was just….."
Emilia-tan sniffled and whispered, "She killed you so painfully? That adorable girl, Rem? How horrible. I thought she was a good person."
Before he could correct Emilia and convince the two that Rem was indeed a good person, Beatrice cut in again.
"You can't even blatantly state that she killed you, in fact. You're lying to yourself, Subaru."
"I am not lying to myself." It was too irritating. Every word she said about Rem was way too irritating. Why did Beatrice continue to say these horrible things?
"That girl is a selfish animal who can only think about solving her problems by killing other people. The proof is all there, in fact. There is no way Betty will accept a reality where she gets to innocently live under the same roof as us, I suppose."
"No, you will. Come on, people! She's Rem. She's one of us! What the hell is wrong with you?"
"What's wrong with Betty?" She gasped and backed a little. "What is wrong with you? Why are you not trusting Betty, in fact? Why are you willingly going towards a fire which will surely burn you? Why does a murderous animal mean so much to you, I suppose?"
"Stop, Beatrice! Stop calling Rem an animal! You have no idea how much she means to me. You have absolutely no idea!"
"...W-Why, I suppose? Why are you doing this, Subaru?"
He needed to stop. He needed to stop himself. He needed to stop himself from saying anything else.
"You talk so much about those past loops, Beako. But what about you?"
"M-Me? No…no, Betty hasn't done….Betty didn't kill you! She did not kill you, in fact!"
"Yeah? You knew about the curse." He needed to stop talking. "You knew about it, but you did not do anything." He wanted to choke every word that came out of his mouth.
Beatrice's face scrunched up in grief, but she said, "But I did not kill you. I didn't help when I should have, but I did not butcher you like she did, in fact! I didn't! You know that, right? You know that Betty did not harm you, right?"
In that loop, he had walked the hallway alone. It was cold, he was nauseous, and there was no one to help. It was a path he could not cross and nobody was there to help him across.
"Yeah, you did not kill me. But you," he needed to choke his own throat to stop himself, but the dreadful words broke out, "you might as well should have."
The little spirit dropped to her knees, unable to breath yet whimpering in large gasps. The frail spirit was only supported by Emilia who had quickly rushed to her. While Beatrice cried painfully, Emilia was telling him something, but all he could hear was a numbing screech inside his ears.
His heart was a block of ice and now he no longer had muddled thoughts constantly assailing his head.
This is what you always do, Natsuki Subaru. This is who you really are.
He left the room without a word and without any rush. The numbing screech subsided after a little while and he found himself walking outside.
A voice called after him. "Ah, Capt—ah, sorry." Garfiel Tinsel caught up to him and walked a few steps behind him.
"What now?"
"I tried to do what you told me to do," Garfiel started.
"Hm? What did I tell him to do again?"
"I tried but the information searching or whatever didn't go too well. Nee-san gave me some information about her dreams, but it was nothing that unusual. Or, well, I think it wasn't that unusual, but maybe it would be unusual for you. Ah, dammit. Sorry, I ain't doing great at this task, right?"
"..."
"Yeah, uh, so..shit, what else did I need to tell you?"
He continued walking past the parkour area in search for a place of solitude.
"Come on," Garfiel was struggling with his words. "Oh, that little one, Louise. She was a bit weird, or at least that's what Nee-san said. And I couldn't get anything from Ram. W-What happened by the way? I saw the hallway and, oh, I cleaned it up, just in case you would want me to."
He did not want to answer.
"I guess I'll ask later. The blue one—I mean Rem, yeah, she woke up. I pressed my ear against the door and heard the two sisters bicker amongst themselves. There was a lot of crying and wailing, so I left. Shit, maybe I should have stayed outside. What the hell am I doing? Captain gives me one job and I screw it up."
"..." He only realized now that perhaps Garfiel Tinsel was the worst person one could ask for the role of information gathering. It was like asking Petra to go beat a divine general. "I am an idiot."
"I couldn't really go near Otto cause, you know. But I spied on him while he was in the garden. He was talking to a bunch of birds and squirrels and insects. Don't know why though. Oh, also!"
He sensed a bit of excitement in Garfiel's voice.
"I spied on all those mercenaries as well. Took track of them and their abilities, and whatnot. Some of them were setting up these strange telescopes to keep track of the insides of the mansion, but I growled them away. I just thought they were suspicious, you know. I did the right thing there, right? I can still go and tell them that it's okay if you think that–"
He took a deep sigh and turned around. "Garfiel. Garfiel?"
"Y-Yeah."
He put a hand on his shoulder and curtly stated, "You did a good job. No, you're doing a good job. For now, uh, go keep track of Rem and Ram, okay? Understood?"
"Of course, Cap–sorry."
Though Garfiel accepted, there was a deep disappointment unhidden on his face.
"He should just continue calling me Captain, like always. I should tell him. No, I'll do it later. I don't have the mental capacity to deal with anything more right now."
He saw a tiny hillock in close proximity and trekked tirelessly until he got to the very top. Dawn had brightened up everything below him and the clean curve of the sun was slowly rising up to warm his face.
The dulled light danced across the treetops and highlighted the various groups of local birds flying free in the fresh sky. He saw the pointed tents belonging to the mercenaries, the torches carried by the patrols they sent out, and the sharp glistens of the barbed wire they were setting around the place.
They worked hard, with efficiency and without complaint. Using his Cor Leonis, he easily spotted the location of three distinct sets of mercenaries keeping an eye on him.
One group was directly behind him, hidden up in the treetops that he had not even cared to notice. The other two groups were below, covering as many positions as they could.
"Even if something happens, are these guys even powerful enough to handle it?"
This time he did not bother sharing his own mental burden with Patrache, who was currently stationed in the stables. But he made sure to affirm the locations of Garfiel, Otto, Frederica, Louise, Ram, Emilia, and the person he had brutally hurt with his words, Beatrice.
—There was also a flickering light in his Cor Leonis.
"Huh? I don't understand."
The light was too unstable, too small, and kept going back and forth from being visible to going away from his awareness. However, such a light could not belong to just an enemy.
"Ha ha ha. See? See, Beatrice?! Do you see this, Roswaal?! The Rem that I know is still there! It can't be otherwise. It just can't. You're wrong about what you said, Roswaal. The parts that they have now don't just disappear."
He collapsed on his knees. Knowing that Rem had not turned into his enemy gave him complete joy. He was right about her. He had to be right about her.
Just like that flickering light, there was still hope in his heart when it came to Rem.
Clenching his fist, Subaru looked back to the sun and found that there was a deep fog in front of him.
"What?"
He stumbled back in panic, but realized too late that the fog was all around him.
"What is this? Emilia?! Beatrice?! Garfiel?! Anyone! Someone?!" Learning that calling for help was the best choice in certain situations did not seem to help him this time.
He panicked in fear for all of his allies and searched into his Cor Leonis, but did not find a single light near him.
"No, no. Come on! What the hell is this?! Please, not now. Stop it, please. Just stop all of this. Who's doing this to me?! Who's doing this to us?! If you're going to play games then just come the hell out right now!"
His yelling was answered. "-You don't have to be so impatient." The feminine voice was uncomfortably calm. It had such sweetness that every sound made poisoned his ears.
The fog disappeared along with the existence of the voice and he found himself in a beautiful place. The ground below him was carpeted with flowers, while bees and butterflies adorned them all.
Around the flowered ground were trees with white bark and scarce green leaves. Through them were paved roads covered in moss and between them were broken stone structures.
He looked all around him, awe-struck by the mystery of the place. He noticed a large oval table set in the middle of the clearing, with seven half-broken chairs surrounding it.
"-You look quite different than I had imagined you to be. But even that is more than acceptable. Come, come, take a seat. There is much to talk about. Not conversing at all is also acceptable, however."
There was nothing on the table, but then there was. The source of the voice appeared atop the table and he did not catch her appearance despite the fact that he did not even blink.
He looked at her for barely a second. Then he looked back down and gave a tired sigh. Something was erupting inside him and he gave it a voice.
"I wanna do drugs."
The one who brought such a response from Natsuki Subaru was a petite girl with platinum hair and deep-blue eyes.
—The dangerous presence of a witch emanated from this girl's friendly smile.
Chapter end.
A.N: Subaru be like: 0_0