Dear Diary,
It's been a few days since I last wrote. I'm going to kill the Potties tomorrow. After that, I'll take my Death Eaters to McDonalds to celebrate. I'll order a Happy Meal with fries, chicken nuggets, chocolate milk, and an ice cream cone! I hope I'll get a Dora toy. Don't tell the Death Eaters; I don't think they like Dora, although he's totally buff. But he really needs a haircut. He looks like a girl. And he sounds like one, too. And he dresses like one. Overall, he's really very girly. But I don't care.
Snape's nose flowers are wilting. I made him water them today. I suggested stuffing soil up in there, too, but he said he had to go to the bathroom and hasn't returned for hours. He went out the wrong door, too: the front door. Maybe he got lost or something.
Oh, well. It's nearly Halloween! I wonder what costume I'm going to wear.
Oh, yeah. I'm going to be busy killing the Potties. Phooey. No candy.
I'm looking in the mirror while writing right now. I'm looking at my nose. Why is it so flat? I guess when I did all this evil stuff, my nose was affected. Or maybe it was the plastic surgery I underwent in an attempt to look like Barney. Either one.
Well, I killed the Death Eater that was contaminating my air. Well, actually, I killed the guy next to him and found out afterwards that the contaminator of my air got away with it. Ah, well. At least someone got killed.
I like it when people get killed.
This is my favorite joke:
Knock-knock!
Who's there?
Avada!
Avada who?
AVADA KEDAVRA!
Hahaha! It is funny because the person gets dead.
Well, I have to go to the bathroom now.
It's my first day out of pull-ups! Can you imagine? I'm a big boy now!
Evilly,
LORD VOLDEMORT
Author's note: Will add new chapter ASAP!