Ok. I'll be honest, this didn't turn out the way I expected it to at all! It was meant to go much further, and it was meant to be posted, like, on Sunday, so sorry :/ but I'm going to Chester tomorrow to visit my sister because we've both got the day off – boooom strikes – so yea, I could have finished it now, and posted it, or not finish it and not get it posted till, like, Saturday. Which would suck furry bollocks, so instead you've got it now :3
Oh, and in this chapter, there'll be a lot of 'Gollum Bella'. I'll admit, I'm a little bit of a Middle Earth geek, and live for anything Älfakyn related. So, she's in here a lot and will probably become the norm. So yeah… You may find her annoying :/
Please don't hesitate to review – constructive criticism is totally appreciated and if you have any questions or whatever, go for it. Gimme so lovin', I'm all lonely without Gollum :/
Beth xx
"I swear to God, Bella if you wear your chucks, I'm coming up to Forks and beating your ass!" Alice had screamed down the phone to me. We'd been having this argument since I'd woken up – so all morning.
"Alice! You know I can't walk in heels!" I whined.
"I hate to tell ya babe, but I really don't give a crap. I find out you've been wearing chucks… well… then… Bitch be trippin'!"
I couldn't help but laugh at her choice of words; apparently her relationship with Kate has done more than given her a record of cheesy one-liners.
"Ok then… How about we compromise? If I get to wear my chucks… you get… anything."
I really wanted to wear my chucks. Especially seeing as Ali wanted me to wear heels, and the only pair I have is a duo of death that has had be eating dirt on more than one occasion. Mmm no thanks.
"… Anything?"
"No, I will not go with you and Kate to watch Never Say Never. That film is an abomination to all human kind and should never ever have been made. I stand by my decision when I said if Kate wanted you to go see it again, you should consider seeing other people."
"But you said anything! And if I have to sit through another viewing of that stupid pre-pubescent boy singing about how hard done by over silly little things about not being accepted by his peers or breaking his toe on stage and having to cancel his show, I cannot be responsible for my actions. Also, his music is shit. Andy Biersack could turn me straight any day." I chuckled at her music-snob-rant, though I agreed with every word she said.
Andy Biersack is one fine hunk of man meat.
"Sorry, Ali, I'm not sitting through that shit. Pick something else."
"Can I come up to Forks to see you? Oooh! Yeah! I'm coming up to Forks and I'm gonna meet this girl you're freaking out over. Seriously, how are you not gay?"
"If I'm gay, this is my coming out story, and yeah, come on up, I need some friends. I can't just hang out with my dad all the time, and I don't think Rose counts as a friend."
"What about that Jacob dude you were dribbling over in college?"
"Ugh. He's a homo-hater. Can't believe I ever liked that dude, he's such an ass."
"You're so gay. Just cut your hair – OMG! Would you be a butch lesbian or a me lesbian?"
"Shut up, Ali! And are you calling Kate butch? I may just have to call her after this…"
"No! No, no, no, no I wasn't! This conversation never happened! I'll see you in two weeks, I love you, and go knock Rosalie's carpet munching socks off!"
"You're vile, and I love you too."
"Tellin' it how it is, sister. Bizz!"
After I hung up, I chanced a glance at the dress Ali advised I wear.
Strapless, plain, knee-length… White.
I feel like the bride of a slutty wedding.
And never again,
And never again,
They gave us two shots to the back of the head,
And we're all dead now.
The stereo system installed in my kitchen tugged me out of my worrying daze, and I set about getting ready for meeting Rose at the Diner.
After picking up discarded pieces of clothing and a daft amount of pillows up off my bedroom floor, I eventually made it to the kitchen where I made a relatively decent breakfast of… last night's dinner re-heated.
I am an actual slob.
But it's so yummy!
I'm sure every other human being would beg to differ.
I'm sure the first sign of insanity is talking to yourself…
Humming to myself as I bumbled about, iPod shuffling through the playlist labeled Sexy McSexicle and just generally wasting time.
And while generally wasting time, time consisting of a number of songs from McSexicle, is probably how I ended up being stupidly late for my meeting with Rose.
'Cause when you're listening to music, it's surprising how fast time goes.
"Shit!"
I quickly rushed to throw away anything I hadn't finished, put my plate in the sink and grab my bag, before rushing out the door and reaching my garage, where I was faced with a choice.
Impala or the shitty truck Charlie gave me for graduation…?
Ha Impala.
Completely bypassing the old rusty red truck, that I didn't have the heart to send to the junk yard, especially when she was laughably faithful, I opened the Impala and threw my bag onto the passenger seat. I put the key in the ignition and turned.
…
Erm… I turned it again.
… Nout.
Again?
Nada.
We broke our car!
I'm getting worried about this whole 'we' thing. I feel like Gollum.
Only we know the basics of personal vocal grammar.
Bella agrees, yes she does!
I thudded my head on the steering wheel, mostly out of despair, but slightly because I'd gotten into the habit of talking to myself in my head…
Accepting fate, a fate that was giggling because now I have to go in my shitty, reliable truck, I grabbed my bag and transferred cars.
And then I was on my way.
I suppose, there's always a silver lining to any bad thing, right? Well, for Red there are two.
The first, is that even though Charlie bought it off Jake's dad, Billy, when it was even then super old, it's still the most reliable truck you're ever gonna ride in. She may splutter for a few minutes, and she may leave a stream of black smoke behind her like that old guy from the pub that ate too many pickled onions, but she will always start no matter-frickin'-what.
And the second is that I managed to get a decent stereo system installed.
Gollum Bella approves.
So as I made my way to the Diner, I was accompanied by decent music, instead of static radio.
Oh, oh, oh, how I was I supposed to know that you were,
Oh, oh, over me I think that I should go. (GO!)
Something's telling me to leave but I won't,
'Cause I'm damned if I do ya, damned if I don't!
I was singing off key, but with complete abandon. Nervous and giddy at the same time, I was totally going for it, belting out notes to awful that they don't exist, cutting up lyrics into little pieces 'cause I was singing so loud and proud that I couldn't even breathe properly.
It's like, when you're at school and something happened and you're completely fangirling over it. Not breathing, just screeching. Then someone screams "Shut up!" in your face but you're too giddy to care. Only I'm driving.
And quite dangerously, at that.
*!~!*
I watched as Rose went to get coffee, and the second she looked away from me, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
Why are we doing this again?
Again with the 'we'…
I'm fine with being cut out of this – why are you doing this again?
Now I feel like it's just me that's being an idiot – go back to we!
No.
As worrying as it is, my inner Gollum is totally right, what the hell was I doing? When I made the choice to come home to Forks, getting friendly with the local lesbian was not on the agenda. I just want to finish my book!
Or start it… I have a feeling this is a long stretch of procrastination.
I think you're right.
Of course I am. I'm you you lesbian.
If I'm a lesbian, what are you?
The brains. The smarts. The Hayley. The girl with one eye. The –
We get it. I have a minor ego problem with my inner Gollum.
Ahh! This whole situation should never have happened! Why am I such a good person that I had to get involved yesterday?
To be fair, though, Jake was being a total ass.
A total ass.
And he's not nearly as hot as I remembered him.
Luke warm, really.
And Rose is a really freaking nice person.
Not luke warm.
I think I should probably stop staring at the back of her head right about now…
Or the back of her jeans.
But I'm not…
Not anymore, 'cause she's coming back!
True enough, she was indeed returning, and sweet Jesus…
Could anybody say daaaayyuuuum gurrrl? How in God's holy name did I not notice her frickin' curves before right now? I mean seriously… It's like…
Spaghetti.
And I'm a genuinely published author? And my description for curves is… Spaghetti. Does Gollum Bella approve?
Fuck no. You've lost your touch. But damn. She's walking like water.
Right… ok…
When she sat down, easy conversation flowed between us, and Gollum Bella kept her mouth shut. As we talked and joked as she finished her coffee, it felt like I'd known her for weeks, months, not freaking hours.
Reasons why this could turn out to be a bad idea…
Go away, I'm talking to my friend.
You don't have any friends!
This is not the end of Two Towers and you're not plotting to give two hobbits to a
giant spider, so please shut-the-fuck-up and remain dormant until I am either
bored lonely or mentally unstable.
You're a douche bag.
When she was done with her caffeine shot super drink, that pretty much the
whole of America was convinced it needed, we headed back out to the parking lot to our cars, and that's when I noticed that she was headed over to a car. Unless she has two – much like my fortunate self – she must have gotten it re-painted. "You got your car fixed up then?" I asked, as I fiddled with my keys.
"Yeah, got my friend Emmett to get it done for me, free of charge, so really, I didn't need to cause such a fuss at the Department yesterday, but I didn't want to ignore it and let whoever did it have the upper hand." She chuckled and got out her own keys.
"Sounds like this town is plotting your demise." I laughed along with her, though her voiced mirth sounded slightly forced.
"Sometimes it feels like it."
Whoa… midlife crisis?
Hush, Gollum.
At that we split, she got into her BMW and I got into Red.
And that's how I'm here.
In Red. Following a BMW, and completely freaking out.
Dude we're going to her house.
Dude I know.
I think we should turn around.
I think you should just drop dead!
Whoa. Bit harsh?
We've come this far. No turning back.
There's no turning back now, Sam.
Sam?
Samwise.
Well you're Gollum so fuck you.
I turned up my music to drown out Gollum Bella; she's becoming quite the norm…
Anyway, I was becoming increasingly edgy the longer I spent in the car. Where the hell does she live? I mean seriously. We've been driving for ages now, you'd think she'd be some kind of creepy person from those nasty films like The Human Centipede and is slowly leading me off my innocent path only to surgically join me to two complete strangers…
Ok. Image.
But the point is, does she live in the middle of frickin' nowhere?
Probably. And right now I'm kinda feeling like Shannon from Devine by Mistake when she's driving to the weirdo auction in the middle of nowhere.
You read more than you write.
Hush, you.
But we're not in the middle of Oklahoma, we're heading to the outskirts of Forks. Still in the middle of nowhere, but not so many cows…
Up ahead, I saw Rose turn off into a small/big/I can't see it drive way. Flicking on the ancient indicators, my truck followed her BMW into the driveway.
Her home was a quaint affair. Not as frickin' big as mine, but it wasn't some cheap hoe shack either.
Not that I expected it to be some cheap hoe shack…
It had a real Okie feel, like the house Mel Gibson and his brother and kids live in, in Signs but before the creepy aliens hit their farm and melt in water.
Oops, just spoilt the movie for ya.
But anyway, as relatively small as her house may be, her from drive was more than enough to fit our two cars and her motorbike.
She has a motorbike, Bella.
Yes, Gollum.
She's so hooooot.
Hush, Gollum.
I turned off Red and stared for a moment. I watched – more than slightly transfixed – as she opened the car door and got out. Her shirt rode up slightly at the back, flashing a strip of the small of her back. She twisted and a lock of her hair twirled over her shoulder, golden curls covered her flawless face as she leant down to grab her bag from the passenger seat.
Dat ass…
I swear to God, Gollum…
Don't deny it, the only reason I can see her butt is because you're checking her out…
I jerked in my seat when I realized that Gollum Bella was right. I was just unabashedly checking out her ass.
Again.
She slammed her car door shut and started to turn around. Quickly, I made myself look busy by rummaging through the glove compartment.
What. The fuck. Is that?
I think it used to be a banana.
A tap at my window reminded me that I probably wasn't doing a very good job of pretending like I totally wasn't just checking her out and then she turned around so I have to look busy…
"What're you doing?" She asked, her voice muffled slightly by the window.
I rolled it down a smidge, "Looking for gum… I want some gum."
"Right…" She nodded slowly.
I looked back to the glove compartment – aha! "Oh! It's alright, I've found some." I waved the pack in the air like a proud toddler.
"Right…" She said again, then chuckled to herself and moved away from my truck, heading towards her house. "If you're coming, hurry up, can't keep art waiting."
Ohmygod.
Slowly – I was not going to faceplant – I got out of my truck and hesitantly followed her through the threshold of a frickin' Goddess.
When I got inside, she took my bag and put it in the kitchen – I quickly popped a few/seven pieces of gum in my mouth – and then lead me upstairs.
Her house, I noticed, was covered in photos. Whether they be photos that she'd taken herself, or ones of her taken by someone else, they were artfully placed on any free wall space in every room – that I'd seen – of her house. From the ones that she'd obviously taken herself, it was evident to know that she was really damn good.
I followed her into a room that was at the back of her house, and looked back onto the forest outside. A single chair was placed at an angle in front of the window, at an angle, set in front of a big mother fucking SLR on a tripod.
Ohmyshit.
Oh. My God.
Do you finally realize what you're doing?
Fuck yes.
How do you feel?
I dunno. Can your ovaries explode?
If they can I think we need serious medical attention.
Fuck the attention!
Rose lightly slapped her hands on her thighs, gesturing to the room laid out before us. "This is my photography studio. Next door is where I get my films either developed or printed or edited, so I usually spend more time in there than I do in here… I don't often have a model." She turned to me then, and fixed me with an unwavering stare. Her blue eyes seemed to darken as she took me in and if she were any other person, I would have blushed furiously and hidden behind a curtain of hair… but with her I didn't feel insecure or embarrassed. She made me feel equal and normal and human.
Gollum. I think I'm a lesbian.
Thank God. You've been repressing me for years. Let me out!
Oh God.
Oh, and it might fuck up somewhere in the middle. I think I pressed tab or something and then suddenly the mother-fucker went to hell. I literally could have drop-kicked a small child. (Basically I was mad.)
Leave me some love?