Dear Diary,

Life is still so weird now that Snape is not my bestie.

Scabior is not really suitable anymore.

He smells like turnips.

Turnips scare the living daylights out of me.

Once I was at my Aunt Margaret's farm and I tripped over a turnip. I landed on my nose. It got all mushy inside.

That may be part of the reason I have no nose to this day.

Stupid Aunt Margaret and her turnips.

My family has lots of farmers in it.

I think that's the reason I like evilness and stuff. I really don't want to be a farmer. So I turned to badness.

I caught Snape, Bellatrix, and my new BFF Scabior talking behind my back when we were out on a Muggle killing spree. I heard the words "Voldy" and "lemons."

I am scared.

Very, very, very scared.

I wanted to kill them, but then I caught sight of Snape's nose flowers, which were bigger than his whole head by now, due to Scabior's meticulous care for them. I remembered the bad smell that had come from them those times I'd tortured him and turned around and ran away.

Where was I in the tale of how I tried to defeat the Potty boy in his second year? Oh, yeah.

So Ginny found ink all over her books. If she was curious as to why they smelled so bad, she didn't show it.

I decided I needed to get serious with this killing-Harry-Potty thing. I decided to use Ginny as bait for him to come into the Chamber. It was Bellatrix's idea. She texted me:

OMG ok idea 4 hp's dfeet:

Use ginny w 4 bait: take her in2 chambr + he'll come + res-q her! Then u kill him! :)

Now, that was a good idea! I dragged Ginny into the chamber. It wasn't easy. She kicked me a lot. It hurted.

"Come into the nice fun chamber!" I said to her, trying to drag her away.

"No!" she screamed, scratching me.

"It is fun!"

"No!"

"There are lots of cookies!"

"NO! Leave me alone!'

That left me at a loss for words. If I were told I would be given cookies if I went in there, I would gladly go!

Here we go. It was time for my most deadly tactic of all. I took a deep breath.

"If you don't go in there, I'll give you a LEMON PIE!"

She stared at me blankly.

"YOU HEARD ME!" I screamed. "A BIG, SMELLY, JUICY, PLUMP LEMON PIE!"

She tried to run away again, but this time I was able to Stun her and put her on the floor of the chamber.

Now all I had to do was wait until Harry Potty came to me!

!

Okay, now I have to go.

Bellatrix just got a new pet hamster, and I have some revenge in mind…Heh heh heh…

Evilly,

LORD VOLDEMORT

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry for the long absence!