My writers block has been driving me fucking mad, and I'm sorry. Happy New Year! Ten days too late xD but eh, I spent my night with a bunch of people dressed as Banana's sooo...
It's a little bit short, but I've been trying to overcome some block.
If you have twitter, follow me? BethThisWay I'll let you know if I get blocked again instead of leaving you guys hanging -.-
Oh! And if you know what these chapters are named after (the bands) then well done you. And would you prefer a Bellice fic next, or another Rosella? Leave me a review telling me.
Enjoy! Beth x
Thud. Thud. Thud.
What is that wondrous sound you hear? Ah, that is the sound of my head repeatedly making contact with my desk. Writers block. You mofo.
I'd been sat here, now, for at least three hours, and I'm really not feeling like a writing session. But, alas, my editor called as I was making my way home from Rose's house – blush – and I was forced to pull some shit out my ass about how great I'm doing on my book. I've actually already done seven chapters! Ha-no.
So now I actually have to write something. Here's what I've got;
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Yeah nothing.
But on the bright side, Rose and I have... bonded. In more ways than one... Over pop tarts, actually, turns out that's pretty much the only thing she has in her house at the minute aside from beer. Which is pretty much the only reason I wanted to leave. You cannot live on pop tarts. So I came home, and sat down on my butt to write. It's just nooooottt haaaapppeeniiinng.
It's not my fault, though, when my thoughts continue to drift on back to last nights... activities. It's been a while, I'll admit, and my conquests in the bedroom are few and far between, I've gotta say that last night was probably the best night of my life.
And not just because I got to mix pop tarts with beer.
After about another half hour of absolutely nothing, I decided that it would probably be best to let my thoughts wander and go for a drive.
I locked up my way-too-frickin'-big house and took the Impala out onto the roads that surrounded teeny Forks. My motor wanderings took me down dirt roads and through small overgrown clearings, before leading back to the mapped roads. I drove without really knowing where it was I was going, because I didn't. Well, maybe not consciously, seeing as somehow I ended up at La Push. I didn't question myself, for fear of Gollum Bella taking an unwanted return and parked my car/sex on wheels.
I sat and watched the little rez kids run around and splash about in the waves. Pervy, right? Not really. You see, I don't think it'd be classed as perving if I kept expecting a hoard of Zombies to come hurtling out of the woods and rip the adorable little people to shreds... then for maybe, from across the beach, a slow trickle of dudes (and gals, duh) – Now re-named the Awesomes - with guns and axes to jump the dead and mow them down. The sand would be stained red, left damp and sticky. The Awesomes will have suffered casualties, though would have saved some little people and would go back to their camp in the middle of the rez and tell tales of their brawl.
You're so shit. Words cannot even.
You're so fictional and a figment-of-my-imagination. Words cannot even.
Go lie in a hole and rethink your life choices.
Lol your life choices.
I'm seriously beginning to think that Gollum Bella is a result of 25 years of no self esteem, almost no true friends and serious concern in sexuality, mental stability and whether or not I should be eating this fucking delicious Twinkie.
More times than not the answer to that final – and fatal – question is no, I shouldn't, but seriously, who can say no to deliciousness?
Those without soul.
I sighed, thinking about Twinkies and other yummy things, before rooting through the glove compartment and producing three mixed CD's and a notebook (with pen). I put a CD in the stereo and waited for inspiration.
Which is difficult. Waiting for inspiration? That's lazy. You gotta look for inspiration. Whether through music, or imagery, or friends, lovers, strangers, liars, you've got to search it out and twist what you find. Make it different, make it noticeable. And when you do, it's like a little flicker. But you grab it, and add to it and mould it till it's yours and it's something you want to hold onto forever and ever.
It's still hard though.
A chirp from my bag alerted me that I'd received a message.
Just booked plane ticket. See you tomorrow, you sexy thing. I hope you have a room set out for me... Ali! Xxxxx
I sighed out loud. Why is she coming so earlyyyy?
I huffed slightly before replying.
I'll get right on it... and why only singular, is Kate not coming?:( Bells xxxxx
Ali, being the keyboard warrior that she is, replied in under a minute.
Nah, she's gotta go see her sisters up in Chicago, I think Tanya just had her seventh kid or something... She says she's sorry, if it's any consolation;)Ali xxxxx
Ahh. Tanya Denali. She kept her last name when marrying some dude from Italy, but apparently they've been going at it like bunnies since the wedding a few years ago, and have had about half a dozen kids.
I never would. Ever.
Yeah I'm sure she is! She's just lucky that she doesn't live close enough for babysitting duties... I think I'd shoot myself. Bells xxxxx
And I would. I hate children and I hate people and I hate stuck up girls and I hate...
Chirp!
Ah, we all know you would. You have issues when it comes to children. Anyway, how was your night? ;D Oh! Wait! Don't tell me! I want you to tell me in person so I make you go into details and see that yummy blush. Omg can't wait. Ali! Xxxxx
Well shit...
I didn't bother replying after that, Alice has made her mind up and there's no frickin' way I was going to stop her. Especially if she was arriving tomorrow!
Tell me when she gets here so I can hide behind the boxes of your embarrassing youth in the recessives of your mind.
Silencio strange thing.
A tap at the window broke me from my thoughts, making me jump. When I turned to look, I was more than slightly surprised to see the face of Jake. He grinned boyishly and waved... a lot. I raised an eyebrow before slowly winding down the window.
"Hey, Bella!" His hand stopped its incessant waving and flopped limply by his side.
"Uh, hey, Jake." I replied with a notably less amount of enthusiasm. Please take a fucking hint.
"Wow. I haven't seen you down here in about ten years." He leaned against the side of my car, peering in through the window and blocking out the little sun there was.
No.
"Yep. Ever since that God awful bonfire party. Thanks for reminding me."
"Aw, it's not my fault I was drunk, Bells." He huffed, crossing his arms but still leaning...
"Yeah, anyway, what's up?"
Please just go away.
"Nothing really, I just came over to talk to you 'cause I haven't seen you for a few days."
Two days.
"Yeah, I've just been hanging out with Rosalie, trying to get some writing done, unpacking and stuff, y'know." I nodded and he just stared.
"Rosalie?"
"Um... Yeah, why?"
"Bella, why are you hanging out with that... freak?"
"Excuse me?"
He smells like wet dog.
Shut up.
"Her! She's not normal! It's not natural, they way she is, what if she tries something with you, Bella? I don't think you'd like some sketty tramp drooling all over you."
Bitch went there.
"Excuse me?" I took me seat belt and opened the door, forcing him to move away from the car. "What the hell is your problem with her?"
"She's gay, Bella, it's not natural!" the dude looked genuinely confused. Was he dropped on his head as a baby? So, recently?
"So I'm not natural, is that what you're saying, Jacob?"
"I... what?"
"Listen, Jake. We've been friends since we were kids, and now that you're saying all this stuff, I'm wondering whether or not we should just call it quits now. Because to be honest, I don't want to be friends with a judgmental twat."
You go gurl.
"Are you two fucking, or something?" His usual youthful features contorted to hold a deep scowl and a look of disgust.
"I... well... erm... bleeeh."
Wondrous.
He gasped and shoved his finger in my face. "You are! Bella... what? How could you do that? How could you do that to me? I mean... ugh! Well, if you don't want to be friends with me, a judgmental 'twat' - " he used quotation marks. Don't know why. It's true. " – then that's fine because I don't want to be friends with a disgusting dyke. You will have your comeuppance."
With that he turned on his heel and strutted his butt away.
Shit. Think he'll kidnap us and perform an exorcism?
Shut up. I. Not us.
I looked back to the beach, running a hand through my hair and saw a group of mothers staring hatefully at me, clutching at their little people's heads.
Oops.
I quickly got back in my car and made my way back home, going through what happened at the beach in my head. I can't believe Jake. I knew that he seemed kinda homophobic to Rose when I first got here, but I though his opinions would change when he realised that his best friend since nappies way gay. Even if I was only newly discovered.
Jesus. I sound like some kind of controversial fossil.
I sighed and rubbed a hand across the side of my face.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
MY phone chirped once again and I resisted the urge to just completely ignore the damn thing, but then I thought that it could be Jake apologizing.
I smiled when I saw who it really was.
My house is quiet and cold and boring. I don't care what you're doing can I have some company please? Rose xxx
I sent a quick reply before changing direction and heading to her house.
I still didn't get any fucking inspiration.